Kanto Starters III: Squirtle

Squirtle
The Tiny Turtle Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 7
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Kanto. As the most defensive of the three starters, squirtle is born with a shell that hardens to a rock-hard consistency as it grows older. It also has the ability to retract its softer head and limbs into this shell in order to protect itself as it uses its array of bubble- and water-jet-based attacks. That having been said, one of the most common questions posed about squirtle is “what does it look like without its shell,” and in order to answer all of them in one fell swoop, the writer would like to remind the general internet that a squirtle’s shell is actually an adapted ribcage and thus, a squirtle without its shell would look rather unfortunate.

Wartortle
The Turtle Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 8
Entry: The evolved form of squirtle, by battle experience. Legend has it that healthy wartortle may live up to 10,000 years. This, of course, is not true; rather, it is a euphemism for two things. First, it refers to the wartortle’s resilience, particularly in the case of its shell. Upon evolution, a wartortle’s shell hardens and continues to harden, and much of wartortle’s battle style hinges on the use of its shell as both its armor and its shield. A battle-experienced wartortle will always sport a plethora of scratches across its rock-hard shell. As for the second point to the legend, it simply refers to humans’ inability to tell reptilian pokémon apart, as well as the wartortle’s general apathy towards being confused with its abundance of cousins and blood relatives.

Blastoise
The Shellfish Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 9
Entry: The evolved form of wartortle, by battle experience. Blastoise tend to be extremely proud of its muscular bulk and water cannons, to the point where much of its battle techniques hinge on either throwing its weight at an opponent or drowning them with high-powered jets of water. When it comes to the latter, its aim is deadly accurate, and a well-trained blastoise is capable of shooting a target up to 160 feet away. Additionally, despite the fact that they lose their feather-like ears upon evolution, it should be noted that blastoise generally have excellent hearing. For example, if a blastoise whose trainer happens to be a researcher’s grandson is standing more than soccer field’s length away from said grandson right at the moment that another researcher advises him on specialized diets for blastoise that no longer participate in battling circuits, that young, well-meaning researcher should be aware that he can still be shot with a Hydro Pump from halfway across the laboratory’s preserve.