Author’s Note: Due to the editor deciding that “just because you answered a string of questions last night doesn’t mean you should end it with a sarcastic response” and that the author should “think of the readers and the poor woman I’ve hired as a PR consultant,” the author has been asked to do an entry that will, hopefully, better explain dodrio flight. And by “asked,” he actually means “ordered under threat of being shown a marathon of Binaclebob Trapezoidpants episodes.”
Doduo
The Twin Bird Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 84
Entry: Despite its designation as a partial flying-type, doduo lack developed wings and therefore cannot fly for extended periods of time. Instead, it runs using its powerful legs. These legs are so well-developed and powerful that they enable doduo to reach speeds of up to sixty miles per hour, which in turn make it one of the fastest non-evolved land pokémon in existence. At these speeds, its two heads are highly useful for, appropriately enough, two reasons. First, by bobbing its heads back and forth in an alternating motion, doduo is able to maintain its balance. Second, because each head is always looking out for the other and because both heads are connected telepathically, one head can easily tell the other, “You’re about to run us headlong into a boulder, you absolute tool.” [Note: This is, at the very least, an approximation of what a doduo might say, based on psychic scans of a doduo running headlong into a boulder.]
Dodrio
The Triple Bird Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 85
Entry: The evolved form of doduo, by battle experience. Upon evolution, doduo’s body reforms so that it possesses three of not only heads but several other organs, some of which the author cannot list in polite company. While this increases the resulting dodrio’s running endurance, it decreases its top speed. However, although dodrio is no longer capable of running as quickly as its predecessor, it makes up for it with an alternate means of transportation. Namely, while many people assume just by looking at a dodrio lacks wings, what few people realize is that the brown fluff surrounding its entire body are its wings, folded up. When unfurled, dodrio possesses a pair of wings so large and majestic that it dwarfs the wingspans of many of its fellow bird pokémon.
Bill, I explicitly told you not to give yet another sarcastic response to the question about how dodrio can fly. —LH
Actually, this one isn’t sarcastic. Their wings are actually more impressive than Ho-oh’s. —Bill
…okay, that’s it, you’re going to spend the rest of the evening with Binaclebob. —LH
The Pokédex According to Bill 