Cacnea and Cacturne

Cacnea
The Cactus Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 331
Entry: A large, cactus-like pokémon native to arid environments. Its round and plump body can store large reservoirs of water, which enable cacnea to survive the driest of deserts for up to thirty days. Knowing this, some early settlers to areas where cacnea may be found have tried to slice open and eat water-engorged cacnea, establishing the misconception that cacnea meat can stave off dehydration. In actuality, no part of a cacnea should be ingested if one is in dire need of water. Meat from the arms is often contained in smaller reservoirs within tougher, denser tissue, and if you do go through the effort of obtaining it, the resulting water is highly acidic and can lead to vomiting or worse. Meat from its main body, meanwhile, is a pokémon-based source of peyote, and ingesting it induces extremely vivid hallucinations … or worse. Cacnea, in other words, is not the quenchiest, no.

Cacturne
The Scarecrow Pokémon
Type: Grass/Dark
Official Registration #: 332
Entry: The evolved form of cacnea, by battle experience. During the day, these tall, cactus-like pokémon stand motionless in their native deserts. When the sun goes down and the desert cools, however, cacturne awaken and begin moving across the desert in search of prey. Interestingly enough, most cacturne eat birds—particularly any murkrow and vullaby that have, for whatever reason, settled in their desert territories—so cacturne is less of a scarecrow and more of an eatcrow. Or perhaps a killcrow. Devourcrow?

Have we mentioned the fact that you’re not allowed to name things? —LH