Well, I certainly can’t refuse a request like this, especially when you’re correct about how close the Unova Dex is from completion. Sewaddle will be along tomorrow, anonymous!
Timburr
The Muscular Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 532
Entry: This short humanoid pokémon always carries a square log with one arm, which it often uses as a blunt melee weapon. These logs are typically of various sizes, but their weight is a good indicator of how old a timburr is. If the log is small and light, then the timburr is a hatchling. If the log is roughly the weight of the timburr itself but slightly taller, then the timburr has reached the peak of its evolutionary stage. If, however, the log is at least twice as heavy and large as the timburr, then it’s close to evolution. Trainers will know that evolution is just about to begin if the timburr throws its log with ease away from its body. Incidentally, it should also be noted that the average timburr is twenty-six pounds, that the statement that the log will be at least twice as heavy as that is not an exaggeration, and that taking a fifty-pound block of wood to the legs is not a pleasant experience.
Gurdurr
The Muscular Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 533
Entry: The evolved form of timburr, by battle experience. Thanks to their well-developed bodies, gurdurr can lift and carry solid steel beams without breaking a sweat. Additionally, although their muscles are naturally well-toned, they enjoy training themselves constantly using their steel beams and any exercise equipment they can find. Many even adopt strange diets of nutritional powders in order to bulk themselves up and sculpt sets of muscles that they then show off to groups of other gurdurr. Attempts have been made to decipher the gurdurr’s language during such meetings, but the nearest translation any researcher has been able to achieve was the phrase, “do you even lift, brah,” repeated over and over again.
Conkeldurr
The Muscular Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 534
Entry: The evolved form of gurdurr, via trading. This muscular pokémon is known for carrying not one but two pillars of solid concrete, which it crafts itself shortly after evolution. Conkeldurr uses its own formula for mixing concrete—a formula that, if you believe the Unova Dex, was passed on to humans 2000 years ago. Of course, if you believe archaeological evidence, concrete was actually created by an ancient human civilization in the Middle East roughly 7500 years ago and was commonly employed by the Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians since at least 1400 BC. Then again, as we all know, the Unovan account of human history has never been wrong ever.
The Pokédex According to Bill 