Barboach
The Whiskers Pokémon
Type: Water/Ground
Official Registration #: 339
Entry: A long, loach-like pokémon native to freshwater rivers. Although it’s not technically amphibious, it shares one important trait with truly amphibious part-ground pokémon such as members of the mudkip line and wooper line: the ability to excrete a slimy film that makes it difficult to grasp. Of course, given the acidity and toxicity of the aforementioned pokémon, combined with barboach’s awkward shape and penchant for spitting dirt and mud at threats, there is a popular sport in Alola dedicated to grabbing as many barboach as humanly possible within a certain time limit. (There is, also naturally, a similar sport in Hoenn called “grabbing barboach,” but the context is entirely different.)
Whiscash
The Whiskers Pokémon
Type: Water/Ground
Official Registration #: 340
Entry: The evolved form of barboach, by battle experience. Despite its friendly expression and the fact that it’s not well-regarded as a battler, these large, catfish-like pokémon are actually formidable pokémon. They claim entire swamps as their territories, and in order to repel intruders, they execute incredibly powerful ground-type moves, including Earthquake. For this reason, it’s also a popular sport in Alola to enter their territories and go fishing for them, an act which is called “whiscashing.” Incidentally, there is likewise a similarly named sport in Hoenn, but the context also has little to do with actual whiscash (and everything to do with certain whiscashing victims’ hope that the partners they come across enjoy grabbing barboach).
And congratulations, Bill. You’ve just earned yet another three hours in the shame corner. —LH
The Pokédex According to Bill 