In bewear’s case, it may be prudent to pressure train them. Begin with a large log, a boulder, or something extremely sturdy and have your bewear hug it. If she manages to do so without breaking the item, give her a reward. If she breaks it, find a replacement and try again. Keep training her in this way until it’s clear she won’t break the stone or log, then move on to something a bit softer. Continue your training in this manner until you get to the point where your bewear is embracing punching bags or training dummies. Whenever you feel comfortable, try hugging her yourself at that point, and she should be able to restrain herself just enough that her embrace will be harmless to you.
In short, getting your bewear to hug you without crushing your spine is a rather simple matter of training, but it may take time and effort on your part before it can happen.
Best of luck, anonymous!
The Pokédex According to Bill 