Wait… If you never gave clearance on the creation of this book, and you’ve never heard of it’s existence before Lillie showed it to you, then how does it have so much information on your life? Did you see the author’s name on the title? If not, well, you should probably figure that out. For all you know, you could have an evil stalker that sneaks into your house at night, uses your toothbrush, steals your research notes, and takes photos of you while you sleep! Or whatever stalkers do, IDK.

Fortunately, my fans understand that my work is highly sensitive, and I encrypt practically everything anyway. Unfortunately, however, enthusiastic fans are nothing new, and the reason why they respect the secrecy of my work is because they’re often more interested in the intimate and personal details of my life. For example, there was a gentleman—Brent, I believe his name was—who often lurked about my home until he went off to Johto. I only know that he left because a good friend of mine informed me that he would often call her to share random but highly mundane information about my personal life and family. I don’t entirely know how he found out that my younger sister can’t wink, but apparently, half of Johto knows that now. (She doesn’t seem to mind. If anything, my little sister is pleased one of my fans paid attention to her.) Also luckily, the rest of my family consists of extremely talented trainers, so I’m not particularly worried about whether or not they can look after themselves.

As for the book, I do indeed know who wrote it, and he, as I’ve recently found out, is the president of my fan club. He’s also the one in charge of the Sevii Islands system, which is why I’m quite torn between being flustered over the fact that the Clefairy Incident is apparently not a secret and saying this is absolutely not a problem, no.

…especially considering the fact that I gave him permission to write and publish the book without actually reading what he was putting into it.

And congratulations on losing your privilege to complain about it. —LH

I’m not complaining! I just find it baffling that people know about that! —Bill

You wrote a paper on it. Also, you tried and failed to bribe one of the champions of Kanto into secrecy with a ticket to the SS Anne. —LH

How was I supposed to know “selectively mute” means “will tell Professor Oak’s highly talkative grandson literally everything”? —Bill