Question (Askbox doesn’t work for some reason)

One of my friends recently died, and I’m trying to take care of her Pokemon for her. However, not all of them have met me before, and some of them were very close to her. Do you have any advice for how I should deal with the Pokemon that won’t know me, and how to help them handle this in general?

Bill: Remember first and foremost that these pokémon are grieving, just as a human would if one lost someone very close to them. So before anything else, you must establish yourself as both loyal and reliable. The quickest way to do this is to be flexible for them. Listen to them and pay very close attention to their needs. If one is aloof or refuses to communicate, don’t ignore them. Rather, tell them that you want to give them space, but you’re available if they need anything.

Moreover, try to find out what their routine had been with their late trainer. Routines mean stability as well as communication. To some pokémon, going through the same motions as always will give them something familiar to help ease the transition into your care. For other, more intelligent pokémon, it at least opens up a dialogue if they believe you’re trying to be their trainer. (That may sound negative, but it happens with pokémon who possess advanced intelligence and bond strongly with humans. The gardevoir line, for example.) Either way, the busier they are and the more they stick to routine, the easier it will be for time to pass and for them to move on.

And of course, it doesn’t hurt to learn more about them. Figure out their likes and dislikes and provide plenty of either to help ease the pain and to reward them for positive behavior (as opposed to negative behavior, such as excessively marking territory or howling).

Finally, always keep an eye on their health. Grieving pokémon sometimes refuse to eat, but you must be persistent on getting them to take care of basic needs. Offering the food they like might make things easier, but if this behavior goes on for too long or if your pokémon absolutely refuses to eat no matter what you do, see your local pokémon center. Your Nurse Joy will help with grief counseling.

Best of luck, anonymous, and I’m very sorry for your loss.