How can I kindly tell my blaziken that while I appreciate the sentiment, he cannot (want to) punch my ex in the face everytime we see him on the street?? I don’t need the police being called on my pokemon…

If it makes you feel any better, no court in any region would press charges on a pokémon.

Edit: As expected, Lanette has decided this was a terrible answer.

Contrary to popular belief regarding bird-like pokémon, blaziken (and all bird-like pokémon, for that matter, but that’s neither here nor there) are actually highly intelligent. This is why yours has taken it upon himself to protect you from your ex. Or, well, to seek revenge on your ex for hurting you. In any case, what I mean to say is that it’s important to communicate your wants and needs with your blaziken. Tell him in a firm but gentle manner that you appreciate how much he cares about you, but he can’t be as aggressive as he’s being towards your former significant other. Explain to him that doing so will get you in trouble (as you’re his trainer and thus responsible for all his actions) and in any case, it’s far better to move on and find your happiness without your ex than to dwell on it and strike back days, months, or even years after the two of you went your separate ways.

If your blaziken fails to understand this, then you may wish to avoid letting him get anywhere near your ex. Keep your poké ball on hand and return him if your ex ever crosses your path (or, better yet, whenever your blaziken seems a little more aggressive than normal).

Alternatively, consider teaching your blaziken to heel. (I’ve written a guide on how to do so here: http://bills-pokedex.tumblr.com/post/163998759883/help-my-cubchoo-has-an-insatiable-appetite-for . Although this guide is geared towards mammalian pokémon, it can be adapted to practically any pokémon at all.) Teaching him to heel will give you the ability to keep his anger in check in situations where returning him may not be entirely feasible.

In short, try starting off by having a conversation with your blaziken first, then move on to teaching him how to heel and keeping him on a metaphorical short list. It may be awkward at first, but I quite agree it’s a far more desirable course of action than, well, being arrested for allowing your pokémon to assault someone.

Best of luck, anonymous!