Shuppet and Banette

bills-pokedex:

Shuppet
The Puppet Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 353
Entry: This handkerchief-like pokémon floats through the air at night, feeding off negative emotions. It’s particularly attracted to overwhelming feelings of jealousy, vindictiveness, or general anger, and it will congregate with many other shuppet under the eaves of houses where someone is experiencing particularly strong variations of these emotions. For that reason, if you see entire flocks of these pokémon nestled along the gutters of a house, it’s very likely that inside resides a murderer, a scorned lover, or a teenager going through the Hoennian public high school system.

I’m going to assume you’re not thinking of anyone in particular. —LH

…I’ve tried for the past half an hour to come up with something witty to say in response, but I’ve realized saying any one of the things that came to mind would result in terrible, terrible consequences. —Bill

Good boy. —LH

Banette
The Marionette Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 354
Entry: The evolved form of shuppet, by battle experience. This doll-like pokémon is said to have been the reanimated remnants of a discarded toy, given new life by cursed energies trapped within it. Powered by its need for either vengeance or closure, it moves at night, supposedly to seek out its former owner. Typically, when presented with a name that reminds him of one of his colleagues, the author would make a witty comment involving that pokémon and said colleague, but seeing as only one system administrator has a name that rhymes with “banette” and seeing as the author realizes going down this route would be a terrible idea, he’s just going to leave the entry at that. It is a cursed doll pokémon and nothing more, and there is absolutely nothing funny to point out about it. Yes.

Okay, now you’re pushing it. —LH

Mega Banette
The Marionette Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 354+
Entry: The advanced form of banette, via banettite. Upon mega evolution, banette gains a considerable boost in its ability to command spiritual energies. Unfortunately, the sheer amount of spiritual power that floods this pokémon can be overwhelming to banette new to mega evolution, and the result may involve an outpour of negative energy that may inadvertently curse those around it. Thus, although tamed banette can be sweet and loyal pokémon who would go to the ends of the earth to protect their partners, many think of its advanced form as a terrifying creature of the night. Much like certain other people the author knows whose names might just rhyme with “banette.”

Flattery gets you nowhere, Bill. Certainly not misaimed flattery. —LH

Well, you can’t blame a guy for trying. —Bill

I’m not sure you did… —LH