I was doing my Island Challenge, but when Illima asked if I was ready, I said “Yes Ma’am” and then the assistant (they guys in the light blue that also guard the gates.) whispered to me that Illima was actually a guy. I got nervous and ran away. I haven’t talked to her in a week. That pink hair fooled me! How was I supposed to know he was a guy? How should I apologize?

Apologize, use Illima’s preferred pronouns, and move on.

I admit that I don’t know whether or not Illima is cis (I don’t know any of the trial captains that well, barring Sophocles), but if Illima isn’t, then making a show of it, for lack of a better term, may actually make things worse, even if you have good intentions. It can be embarrassing or even traumatic, and it most certainly calls more attention to someone’s gender than one would feel comfortable with. Meanwhile, if he’s actually cis, making a show of it won’t exactly be uncomfortable for the same reasons, but it will still be extremely awkward to call attention to how a person presents themselves.

So the best course of action in this case is to simply make an effort to refer to Illima with the pronouns he prefers (or they prefer, perhaps) and proceed normally. Perhaps also apologize for running off as well but don’t go too deeply into why. Just say that it was rude of you and that you’d like to have another go at his trial. And, well, refer to him with “sir” this time if that’s what Illima would like you to do.

Best of luck!