I’m pretty sure my Serperior is using my computer when I’m away or asleep, or he’s at least trying to. I never find anything in browser history, but his vines tapping on the keys when he thinks I’m asleep in the next room are far too rhythmic for just play. How should I handle this? I doubt he’ll admit to it, seeing as he covers his tracks, but I’m worried he might get one or both of us into trouble, whatever he’s doing.

Have you tried enabling parental controls on your computer? Even if your serperior has learned how to use a computer, that should keep him out of trouble. If he hasn’t and is just tapping on the keyboard to mimic you (which is likely, as many pokémon like mirroring their trainers to be closer to them), it will still protect him from accidentally going anywhere he shouldn’t. On that note, if he is mirroring you, this isn’t a cause of concern at all, but you may wish to consider getting him a dummy keyboard (that is, one that isn’t connected to anything) and setting up a “computer” (which can be as simple as a cardboard box with a printed-out copy of your desktop pasted to it) to keep him entertained.

And if he isn’t mirroring you and manages to bypass parental controls and navigate his way to the worst parts of the internet … honestly, by that point, he merry well deserves to be there, considering how savvy he clearly is. Still, you may wish to teach him about Tor and get a VPN. Just in case.