Category: Uncategorized

Dewpider and Araquanid

Dewpider
The Water Bubble Pokémon
Type: Water/Bug
Official Registration #: 751
Entry: A small, diving bell spider-like pokémon native to the tropical region of Alola. It lives primarily underwater and by large bodies of fresh water, using the air bubble on its head to survive. This, of course, means that quite literally nowhere on this planet is safe from bug-type pokémon, which in short means that the author is strongly considering adopting a dewpider or few for the educational benefit of a certain water-type gym leader who adores bug-types just as much as she adores trespassing.

Araquanid
The Water Bubble Pokémon
Type: Water/Bug
Official Registration #: 752
Entry: The evolved form of dewpider, by battle experience. Despite its fierce appearance, it actually cares deeply for pokémon and will often bring smaller ones into its bubble to protect them. However, it is more popularly known for drawing enemies into its bubble to drown them, a misconception born from erroneous observations of araquanid in the wild. Given araquanid’s fierce appearance and its reputation despite its actual behavior, the author is naturally also considering adopting a few for his property.

The Bounsweet Line

Bounsweet
The Fruit Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 761
Entry: The sweetness of this coconut-like pokémon is readily apparent just from its aroma alone. Gifted with a nutty but vaguely citrusy aroma, bounsweet attracts bird- and insect-like pokémon to its nests and allows them to feed off its sugary sweat. This same sweat can also be harvested and consumed by humans, but only after being processed and watered down, as the high sugar content makes the sap nearly inedible raw. Or at least most Alolan natives call this sap “nearly inedible raw.” The author calls this “a challenge.”

Steenee
The Fruit Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 762
Entry: The evolved form of bounsweet, by battle experience. Upon evolution, steenee’s formerly edible sweat becomes virtually inedible to anyone, pokémon or otherwise. This is not because it becomes unappetizingly tasteless and bitter (although, yes, it does that too) and more because the average steenee has a tendency to smash its hard, armor-like shell into anyone who tries to harvest her sap, usually before delivering a hard kick to the offender’s face.

Tsareena
The Fruit Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 763
Entry: The evolved form of steenee, by battle experience, if the subject knows Stomp. A royal pokémon in nature, tsareena can often be seen deep in the jungles of Alola, defending large groups of bounsweet and steenee. Tsareena is a formidable fighter in her own right, capable of delivering powerful kicks to predatory pokémon and anyone else who may be distracted by her enticing scent. However, it is said that touching her crown may render her immobile. Given that final note and the way the internet works, one would assume this entry is going into inappropriate territory, but the truth of the matter is that while it’s true that touching a tsareena’s crown renders her defenseless, the actual period of time she spends in this state is only a few seconds and is often followed up by a kick to the ribs with the force of a sledgehammer.

Fomantis and Lurantis

Fomantis
The Sickle Grass Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 753
Entry: This small, bud-like pokémon is nocturnal in nature, largely because daylight leaves it largely defenseless. During the day, it hides in tall grasses and gathers sunlight for sustenance as it sleeps. However, because fomantis are by and large fragile pokémon, it never stays in the same spot as either it or other fomantis had rested the day before. Rather, every night, each fomantis becomes active, seeking out entirely different areas of refuge to settle into as soon as the sun rises. For the most part, fomantis can go completely undetected, but because of its subtle but enticing aroma, cutiefly have been known to gather around fomantis during the day, thus revealing sleeping fomantis to potential prey. Cutiefly, of course, don’t actually feed off fomantis; they simply enjoy fomantis’s scent … and are also generally vicious, vindictive pokémon.

Lurantis
The Sickle Grass Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 753
Entry: The evolved form of fomantis, by battle experience, when exposed to sunlight. Noted for its beauty (and highly fashionable “pants,” for that matter), lurantis are highly sought-after by collectors, even though it takes a lot of time and effort to maintain its signature vivid coloration. In the wild, lurantis give little thought to their own coloration, opting instead on perfecting their sickle-shaped petals. These petals, when properly honed, can fire beams of sunlight and slice effortlessly through predators that may have harassed them as fomantis … including and especially cutiefly.

Mudbray and Mudsdale

Mudbray
The Donkey Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 749
Entry: Despite its short stature, this donkey-like specimen is a noted work pokémon, capable of pulling up to fifty times its own weight. However, it’s also infamous for being extremely stubborn, going as far as to refuse to walk for such offenses as being denied the ability to frolic in mud, being interrupted while eating, or simply being in the same general vicinity as a human. It is perhaps due to this stubbornness that humans have found it easier to hunt down or capture wild instances of mudbray, causing mudbray numbers to drop sharply to the point where they may only be found in Alola. Once it was discovered that mudbray was essentially eradicated from every other region on Earth, humans then began to consider the possibility that perhaps killing an entire species is a bad idea. Which, of course, is our species’ standard response to nearly eradicating anything, to be honest.

Mudsdale
The Draft Horse Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 750
Entry: The evolved form of mudbray, by battle experience. Unlike its preevolved form, mudsdale is not a pokémon with a predilection of frolicking, especially in the mud. Instead, it’s known for its steadfast, reserved, and highly driven nature, which, combined with its stamina and ability to carry literal tons of weight, make it the ideal work pokémon. However, it also highly dislikes water (going so far as to coat its entire body with water-repellant mud-like spit) and is intelligent enough to refuse commands if it considers them to be detrimental to either itself or its work. These behaviors are the source behind the popular Alolan phrase, “You can lead a mudsdale to water, but honestly, that would make you a terrible person.”

Mareanie and Toxapex

Mareanie
The Brutal Star Pokémon
Type: Water/Poison
Official Registration #: 747
Entry: A starfish-like pokémon native to tropical seas. It actively hunts corsola across wide swaths of territory on the ocean floor. If a trainer were to ask some pokémon ethologists, once it locates corsola prey, it simply harasses them until the corsola sheds its horns, which it then consumes. However, let it be known that the author is not one of those pokémon ethologists, and he would like to clarify to all his younger readers that, no, a mareanie rips apart its prey and feasts on the tender, fleshy organs of the main body. The horns that you see are indeed shed, but they’re “shed” in the sense that mareanie rip them off and let them float to the surface of the ocean.

Toxapex
The Brutal Star Pokémon
Type: Water/Poison
Official Registration #: 748
Entry: The evolved form of mareanie, by battle experience. Wild toxapex possess an extremely potent toxin that, while not lethal to humans, can induce a minimum of three days and three nights of excruciating pain. And even then, the entire ordeal leaves lingering effects on the human body. Fortunately, one would assume this means lingering pain or numbness, but in actuality, it just means one of the absolutely fantastic-looking scars that can possibly result from a pokémon encounter. The author may or may not know this from experience.

Crabrawler and Crabominable

Crabrawler
The Boxing Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 739
Entry: Confusingly enough, although this coconut crab-like pokémon resembles krabby and corphish on a superficial level, it’s actually a fighting-type, not a water-type. While most researchers will tell you that it’s because its elemental weakness and resistance distribution resembles that of a pure fighting-type and not of a water or even water/fighting pokémon, seasoned pokémon ethologists will also offer the observation that crabrawler resembles a fighting-type in terms of behavior, including its technique of defending itself fiercely with its boxing glove-like claws, its willingness to train its physical traits by punching trees, and its zest for fighting literally anything and everything that crosses its path.

Crabominable
The Woolly Crab Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Ice
Official Registration #: 740
Entry: The evolved form of crabrawler, by battle experience, when trained in an exceptionally cold environment. The exact circumstances of this pokémon’s evolution have not only resulted in a significant boost in power but also in temper. Consequently, it will lash out at anything within reach, even going so far as to use its own claws as projectiles. To be fair, from what this author has observed, it’s not entirely unusual for someone native to a tropical island to respond to extreme cold with extreme anger.

I’m not so sure someone who doesn’t have much of a tolerance for heat should be commenting on someone else’s tolerance for cold. —LH

What? I can tolerate heat just fine. —Bill

You once described Fallarbor Town as “a nice little hamlet nestled on the slopes of Mount Doom.” —LH

Well, it is. —Bill

Stufful and Bewear

Stufful
The Flailing Pokémon
Type: Normal/Fighting
Official Registration #: 759
Entry: Although this pokémon strongly resembles a stuffed animal, humans should take caution in its presence. Even the smallest, youngest stufful is capable of knocking a pro wrestler flat on his back. This may sound like a rather specific comparison, but luckily, the research community actually has a handy subject for verification. Unfortunately, the author is not at liberty to say who, but let’s just say he’s in a prime position to study Alolan pokémon, and his wife has asked us all to humor him.

Bewear
The Strong Arm Pokémon
Type: Normal/Fighting
Official Registration #: 760
Entry: The evolved form of stufful, by battle experience. This red panda-like pokémon is famous for its unusual behavior, which is commonly studied by pokémon ethologists. While most pokémon smile and approach to interact with humans in a friendly manner, smiling, waving, and approaching are all signs of aggression in bewear. Signs of happiness, meanwhile, are often displayed in the form of curling up on the ground and crying, as these are the most prone and vulnerable positions for bewear to take. However, humans should take caution: just because a bewear is prone doesn’t necessarily mean it’s open for approach, and it can go from crying to breaking a human’s arm with a smile in a matter of seconds.

The Grubbin Line

Grubbin
The Larva Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 736
Entry: This small, larva-like pokémon lives underground in tropical regions, particularly wherever electric-type pokémon are found. It spends most of its life burrowing beneath the surface of the earth, coming close to emerging only when it feeds. During its feeding times, it will dig upwards until its long, strong pincers emerge from the earth to clamp down around a root so that its mouthparts can bite down and drink the sap from its target. Unfortunately, grubbin often have some level of difficulty telling the difference between a young tree and a being of equal weight and stature (specifically, humans), so trainers may wish to be cautious when traveling through known grubbin fields.

Charjabug
The Battery Pokémon
Type: Bug/Electric
Official Registration #: 737
Entry: The evolved form of grubbin, by battle experience. Like many pupa pokémon, charjabug is a largely immobile pokémon. It spends most of its time buried just beneath the surface of the earth in very close proximity to trees, which it will continue to feed on throughout the duration of this stage. The sap and detritus it consumes is then converted into electricity, which it stores as it prepares to evolve into its final form. Because it spends much of its time preparing for this evolution, charjabug is fairly easy to find and dig up. Once dug up, it’s an extremely handy to keep on hand, as one only has to give it one end of a USB cable to charge their pokégears and other devices. Of course, this is also an excellent way to lose a USB cable, as charjabug don’t always understand the difference between a wire and food, but at least by that point, your gear should be fully charged. Besides, what sort of unfortunate soul travels without backup cables these days?

Vikavolt
The Stag Beetle Pokémon
Type: Bug/Electric
Official Registration #: 738
Entry: The evolved form of charjabug, by battle experience when in an area rich with magnetic minerals. Like its cousin and natural rival pinsir, vikavolt possesses a pair of huge jaws, which it relies upon for its highly potent attacks. However, unlike pinsir, these jaws are primarily used to channel electricity into strong blasts, and as such, electricity is often seen arcing between these jaws, especially shortly before it attacks. Needless to say, either way, just like with its fellow beetle pokémon, it is a highly ill-advised idea to stick one’s hand between these jaws, even if it’s for science and the sake of measuring the exact voltage a vikavolt puts out. Just assume that the voltage is a relatively high number (because it certainly feels like such).

Wishiwashi

Wishiwashi
The Small Fry Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 746
Entry: This sardine-like pokémon comes in two forms. The first form is a small, singular fish that’s weak, easy to catch, and goes great with rice and tomatoes. The second form, however, is actually an entire school that swarms around a single wishiwashi to form a giant, extremely powerful fish-shaped entity that not only wields a Water Gun that’s just as potent as a Hydro Pump but also is more than willing to turn this Water Gun onto any unsuspecting human who attempts to catch and eat the weaker examples of their species.