Category: Uncategorized

I have have luxio and want him to be a luxray but is true that they can see throught just about anything, he is slightly perevted to other people so when he evolves would cause trouble for me? if so how can I stop him from doing so?

It is indeed true, anonymous, but luckily, there are solutions. For example, many trainers have their luxray wear choice bands wrapped around their heads to cover their eyes.

Of course, luxray can still see through these bands; the measure is really more so that other people can’t tell what luxray is looking at.

On a serious note, it’s difficult to say whether or not this will cause any problems when your luxio evolves. It really depends on his personality as a luxray and how perverted he actually is. You could potentially train him not to stare at inappropriate things by way of positive reinforcement (giving him treats and the like whenever he resists staring, for example), but if he happens to be a particular nuisance, then it may be better to train him to resist acting on urges that stem from what he sees … and apply a choice band at the same time.

Salandit and Salazzle

Salandit
The Toxic Lizard Pokémon
Type: Poison/Fire
Official Registration #: 757
Entry: A salamander pokémon native to tropical regions. More specifically, it lives on the craggy slopes of active volcanoes, where it mixes its own toxic gas with gases of its environment to create a noxious but sweet-smelling perfume. This perfume has the ability to not only lure in prey but also disorient them, allowing salandit—which, incidentally, normally travel in packs—to draw prey close enough to attack. These noxious properties have not gone unnoticed by humans, of course, and as such, certain groups have figured out how to refine and bottle these gases to produce the exact thing you think they would: perfume.

Salazzle
The Toxic Lizard Pokémon
Type: Poison/Fire
Official Registration #: 758
Entry: The evolved form of the rare female salazzle, by battle experience. Each salazzle possesses an abundance of pheromone glands. Due to their rarity and these pheromones, salazzle have the tendency to attract mass amounts of male salandit wherever they go. These salandit then become integrated into each salazzle’s reverse harem, and yes, there have indeed been plenty of ridiculous shoujo anime titles made from this exact premise.

I have some issues with my male luxray, I use to let him sleep with me on the bed all the time but now I kicked him off for he got a little too “close” if you catch my meaning, now he mean to me and others around him. What do I do fix this?

Well, one option is having him neutered if he isn’t already. This usually resolves issues involving a feline pokémon’s … friendliness towards others. The alternative option would be to get him a suitable mate in order to satisfy his need for physical contact. A female luxio or luxray is usually ideal, but if finding another member of his family in your region is highly difficult, consider a more common pokémon, such as a member of the rattata, patrat, or zigzagoon families.

Alternatively, try letting your luxray down gently. Tell him that you still love him as your pet but that you need space. Get him a comfortable bed and a nice-sized pillow for him to wrap his paws around and train him to stay in his bed, rather than yours.

The key, in other words, is understanding that your luxray may be experiencing a dire need for something to cling to at night, and he expresses his frustration with that unfulfilled need by lashing out at those around him. If you can find a way to satisfy that need—either by replacing yourself with a mate, neutering him, or giving him a comfortable sleeping space—then your luxray will be a bit calmer towards you and the rest of your team.

I did not follow your advice to not google Goodra, and now I feel nothing but horror as to what the internet does. What’s a good way to forget I ever saw any of that? Is there a pokemon move that can help me forget?

I’m sorry, anonymous, but there is no escape. Even if you used a psychic-type to erase your memories, the goodra fanart will still be there. Waiting.

At the very least, you didn’t Google gardevoir, delphox, or palkia … I should hope.

A few months back, my city had a Drowzee infestation. The local government couldn’t keep up and encouraged people to catch them and release them away from the city. I… sorta didn’t do the second thing. Long story short, I now have five Hypno and I’m not really sure what to do with them. I think I’m going to teach them instruments and start a band, but I don’t know what to call it. Any ideas?

Why do people keep asking you to name things when it’s been well-established that you’re terrible at that? —LH

Excuse you, but “Sea Cottage” is a perfectly acceptable name for a cottage by the sea! —Bill

That depends, @the-firebrand. Is this a metal band or a boyband?

Not that it would matter much, of course, as I’d like to propose that you call them the Hypno. Maybe misspell it somehow—that worked for pop bands in the 60s, anyway.

Komala

Komala
The Drowsing Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 775
Entry: A small, koala-like pokémon native to tropical regions. This pokémon is in a perpetual state of total slumber. It’s born asleep, clinging to a log given to it by its sleepwalking parents, and everything it does from that point until the moment it dies is really the effects of komala’s tossing and turning in its sleep. Given that this also includes mating, battling, and controlling its fine motor skills, this may just make komala the most talented pokémon in existence, a creature worthy of even an abra’s envy.

Who would win: a trillion Pyroar or the sun?

Below is the actual video call between the author and editor regarding this ask, as transcribed and posted by the editor’s sister, Brigette Hamilton.

BILL
This is a rather silly question.

LH
Indeed it is. I don’t think it’s worth our attention.

BILL
I agree. After all, there are so many variables involved here.

LH
That’s not why—

BILL
I mean, I admit I don’t know the mass of a trillion pyroar off the top of my head, but I’d imagine it’s not nearly enough to take out the sun by default.

LH
Honestly, Bill, there are far more important things to worry about than—

BILL
On the other hand, pyroar are fire-types and therefore have a resistance to the element, and perhaps a trillion pyroar can form a miniature star-like object that collapses into an equally miniature black hole. That might compensate for the insufficient mass of a group of pyroar otherwise.

LH
Bill, that doesn’t—

BILL
Come to think of it, hold on. Let’s think about this for a second. How much does each pyroar weigh? Should we just assume they’re all perfectly average weight? Also, would the nuclear fusion take place on the planet or off? We’ll need to add in the mass of each pyroar’s breathing apparatus if that’s the case. Now that I think about it, we should probably assume the fusion takes place off-planet, perhaps in the corona at the very closest. We can’t have the pyroar die before the battle begins; otherwise, the whole point is moot. What configuration are the pyroar in as they fly towards the sun? Is it a cube of pyroar, a sphere, or an amorphous cloud?

LH
Why are you like this?

Wait, Brigette posted this? Just how many people did you give my login credentials to, Lanette? —Bill

All of us. —Bebe

hey bill whats up? —Molayne

Hey, Bill. A bit of an odd question but its something I was wondering about. You know how every Halloween there are those weird why is there a sexy custom of this? I was wondering if you ever accidentally bought one when trying to dress up as a Pokemon to get into their head and didn’t realize until it was too late? #AMA

Goodness no! All of my costumes for research are handmade. Accuracy is essential to my methods. Even the texture of simulated chitin needs to be exact, as otherwise, it wouldn’t be very effective.

Besides, the fishnet stockings for many of those costumes are ill-fitting and ride up in a most uncomfortable fashion.

And you would know this because…? —LH

…science? —Bill

So Bill, when do you think we can get Entries on Alolan Grimer and Muk? And is it true that non-Alolan Grimers and Muks are possibly going extinct? I’m worried for my blob-shaped friends!

I’ve actually been considering tackling all Alolan variations at some point, as each one of them is so vastly different from their outside counterparts that it’s often inadequate to simply address one form but leave the other completely out of the picture. (On a similar note, I’m still intending on covering mega evolutions for the same reason.) I just don’t entirely know when—perhaps when I’ve completed the main entries for each currently indexed pokémon.

As for whether or not non-Alolan grimer and muk are going extinct, that’s true … within Alola, anyway. It’s a mixed blessing, really. While on the one hand, a sharp decrease in any pokémon population is always unfortunate, but on the other, high populations of grimer and muk indicate severe issues in the habitability of a biome. A decrease in their populations, then, would mean an increase in the populations of many other species of pokémon.

Still, for those of you who may be fond of the grimer family, rest assured that there are still plenty of cities in the world with sufficient enough pollution levels to maintain healthy grimer and muk populations. Castelia City in recent years, for example.