December Announcements

Hello, everyone—it’s the editor again.

We have plenty of exciting news this month! As you know, we closed the ask box throughout November so I can … get some much-needed work done. During that time, Bill has been hard at work, trying to clear the ask box in order to prepare for its grand reopening, and at long last, the last two asks were answered last night. We’re unfortunately not quite ready to reopen the ask box because the next step is to edit some tags to make answers more easily navigable, but we hope to finish very soon. In fact, we’re aiming to complete work on our tagging system this weekend, so be sure to have your asks ready! We’ll make an announcement when the ask box officially reopens.

Speaking of which, the end of the month marks our first anniversary, and almost as if a certain wish-granting legendary was smiling down upon us, this happened this very morning:

We deeply appreciate all of you who have joined us this year. It’s exciting to know that so many of you are either interested in what we have to say … or are, at the very least, entertained by it. So as a thank you, we’d like to do a very special ask series throughout the month called #Ask Us Anything. Yes, that literally means “ask us anything.” If you have personal questions for Bill, he’ll be required to answer them honestly. If you have any questions whatsoever for me, I’ll happily answer them myself. And if you have any questions for the mun (whatever that may be), she(?) will likewise answer. Virtually anything you can think of is fair game. Just be sure to label your asks with the person you’d like to question to ensure it gets an appropriate response.

Lanette … surely we can offer a better thank you than that. —Bill

Well, yes, but I’m not so sure if a giveaway would be appropriate for this blog. Perhaps your personal one, maybe, or maybe for Christmas, but… —LH

I was referring more to the point that I am a little terrified of what the followers will ask, considering you’ve given them license to ask me personal questions about anything, but that’s a good point too. —Bill

Finally, tonight will be the first in a series of thirty special entries in honor of the release of the Alola Dex. This Alola series will focus entirely on pokémon first discovered in the beautiful and scientifically fascinating region of Alola. However, while we’ll try to save the pokémon featured in its legends and lore for the end of the month, there may be some entries that will, and I quote “spoil the game for you,” as the mun puts it. If you’re not far in this “game” at all (which I assume means your Alolan journeys, trainers) and would not like “spoilers,” please blacklist our Alola Month tag. Otherwise, we hope you enjoy.

Thank you again for reading, followers! See you later this month for the reopening of the ask box!

oh god i left my arcanine alone for three minutes. THREE MINUTES. and she managed to find and harass the ONE skuntank within ten miles and now i can’t go near her without coming this close to passing out. what do i do, Bill. there’s so much fur, so much fur drenched in spray, six feet of shaggy dog covered in skunk. my house stinks. my yard stinks. everything i own stinks. please. please, Bill, how do i fix it. how do i get rid of skuntank spray. please help i can’t breathe

….

You know, I really ought to get better at answering these.

In any case, anonymous, as noted in the skuntank entry (viewable here), your best hope is one quart hydrogen peroxide, quarter cup baking soda, and two teaspoons of dish soap. (You may wish to times this recipe by six for every foot of dog pokémon.) Mix these ingredients together in a tub or spray bottle, get your arcanine to stay still, and bathe her vigorously in this. Do not leave the solution on her fur for too long, as it will bleach it and lead to a rather upset arcanine. Also, wear gloves. Trust me. You will need gloves for this.

Alternatively, purchase a bottle of Skuntank-Off de-skuntanking spray and a bottle of skuntank shampoo from your local pokémart, spray your arcanine, and bathe her immediately afterwards. The above-mentioned solution (no pun intended) is simply the cheaper route, especially considering the fact that neither Skuntank-Off nor any brand of skuntank shampoo is sold in high enough quantities to cover an entire arcanine.

Good luck, anonymous—which I mean genuinely this time.

i caught a pumpkaboo the other day and while she is very sweet, she is incredibly shy. I own a pokemon day care and my pokemon help me care for the ones people leave in my care, and it becomes easier when i have pokemon of specific typings to help with others of that type. but all pumpkaboo wants to do is hide. I dont mind her not wanting to be apart of taking care of the other pokemon, but i would like her to at least get along with her teammates. any tips?

Give her time, anonymous. New catches are very much like new people you’ve met. Sometimes, they’re very eager to be your friend and the friend of all your friends; other times, it takes a lot of work and effort to get them to open up to you.

With that having been said, her integration should start with you. Give her every reason to trust you by treating her with kindness and patience. Don’t force her to do anything but make it clear (through both affection and verbal communication) that if she ever needs or wants anything, she can rely on you. Once she begins to understand that point, introduce her to your closest and calmest pokémon and have them befriend her and nurture their own bonds with her. (I would suggest beginning with one pokémon and allowing that pokémon to help you introduce her to a second, then a third, and so forth. Introducing her to multiple pokémon at once may overwhelm her.) Explain to your other pokémon that your pumpkaboo has a more timid disposition so they know how to approach and support her, and once she begins to trust them, allow them to introduce her to the rest of your day care.

In other words, take things slow and give her plenty of kindness, patience, and space as she needs. You’ll know when she’s ready to meet someone else when she grows comfortable being around you or the pokémon you introduce her to. But above all else, avoid being too aggressive with your attempts to befriend her, and never force her to meet any of your pokémon, as doing either may be perceived as a threat. Make sure she feels safe by speaking to her gently and letting her decide whether or not she’s ready to meet another member of your family.

Best of luck, anonymous!

Chingling and Chimecho

Chingling
The Bell Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 433
Entry: Inside this jingle bell pokémon’s mouth is a metallic, uvula-like organ that creates a ringing sound whenever chingling moves or intentionally agitates it during battle. The sound it makes sounds adorable and festive, and consequently, humans have adopted it as an iconic feature of their holiday season. Putting it another way, chingling cries are often just as much associated with Christmas as gingerbread cookies and peppermint canes. Unfortunately, what many humans fail to realize is that these cries are actually meant to drive threats away, as they’re often accompanied by high-frequency notes that they are virtually incapable of hearing … but that their pokémon partners can. Long story short, the author strongly advises adopting live chingling and agitating them into emitting their adorable, bell-like cries for an “authentic experience,” as there are at least thirty-nine cases of people doing this a year, all of which end in tragedy and tears. The author is looking at you in particular, people of Unova.

Chimecho
The Wind Chime Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 358
Entry: The evolved form of chingling, at night and as a result of a heightened level of happiness. This adorable, wind chime-like pokémon seeks out strong branches or eaves to hang from in high winds. It communicates using only seven different tones in various patterns, almost all of which are pleasant to hear. However, there is a certain pattern that produces ultrasonic waves that will knock even a full-grown man flying, and long story short, chimecho do not take song requests, so it’s wise to not even try.

Barboach and Whiscash

Barboach
The Whiskers Pokémon
Type: Water/Ground
Official Registration #: 339
Entry: A long, loach-like pokémon native to freshwater rivers. Although it’s not technically amphibious, it shares one important trait with truly amphibious part-ground pokémon such as members of the mudkip line and wooper line: the ability to excrete a slimy film that makes it difficult to grasp. Of course, given the acidity and toxicity of the aforementioned pokémon, combined with barboach’s awkward shape and penchant for spitting dirt and mud at threats, there is a popular sport in Alola dedicated to grabbing as many barboach as humanly possible within a certain time limit. (There is, also naturally, a similar sport in Hoenn called “grabbing barboach,” but the context is entirely different.)

Whiscash
The Whiskers Pokémon
Type: Water/Ground
Official Registration #: 340
Entry: The evolved form of barboach, by battle experience. Despite its friendly expression and the fact that it’s not well-regarded as a battler, these large, catfish-like pokémon are actually formidable pokémon. They claim entire swamps as their territories, and in order to repel intruders, they execute incredibly powerful ground-type moves, including Earthquake. For this reason, it’s also a popular sport in Alola to enter their territories and go fishing for them, an act which is called “whiscashing.” Incidentally, there is likewise a similarly named sport in Hoenn, but the context also has little to do with actual whiscash (and everything to do with certain whiscashing victims’ hope that the partners they come across enjoy grabbing barboach).

And congratulations, Bill. You’ve just earned yet another three hours in the shame corner. —LH

Nosepass and Probopass

Nosepass
The Compass Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 299
Entry: This statue-like pokémon possesses a highly magnetic nose that causes it to point towards the planet’s northern magnetic pole at all times … except when in close proximity to another nosepass. If placed in the vicinity of another nosepass, both subjects’ noses will force them to turn away from each other, meaning it’s entirely impossible for two nosepass to be face to face or to stand right next to one another. As expected, this can be rather awkward for several reasons, the most obvious of which would be breeding.

Probopass
The Compass Pokémon
Type: Rock/Steel
Official Registration #: 476
Entry: The evolved form of nosepass, by battle experience, if trained in areas rich with the mineral magnetite. This statue-like pokémon’s entire body is highly magnetic and modular. The bulbous projections on its sides are actually miniature statues known as “mini-noses,” which are capable of detaching and flying about for surveillance and incorporation into probopass’s various attacks. More impressively, the black substance beneath its nose is actually a bush of iron filings that form a “mustache.” This particular feature does not actually have a special name or purpose of its own; the author just feels that it’s majestic.

Wingull and Pelipper

Wingull
The Seagull Pokémon
Type: Water/Flying
Official Registration #: 278
Entry: A large, seagull-like pokémon native to coastal regions. Among researchers who do not make their homes in coastal areas, this pokémon is known for its elegant, gliding flight patterns. It nests in high cliffs along the sea, and from these spots, it leaps over the ocean waves and rides updrafts high into the air. As such, it is sometimes known as the “kite of the ocean.” However, to those who have ever lived on cities on the coast (such as the author), this pokémon is known for snatching valuables and french fries from the hands of humans as well as defecating strategically on beachgoers, and as such, it’s known as “flying rat” and other colorful phrases and names the author cannot repeat in mixed company.

Pelipper
The Water Bird Pokémon
Type: Water/Flying
Official Registration #: 279
Entry: The evolved form of wingull, by battle experience. Known for its unique beak, this pelican-like pokémon is sometimes used as a messenger. In the old days, this was done by placing items, letters, and small pokémon in its beak, telling it where to go, and letting it fly. However, in modern times, it’s given a small mail pouch instead. The reason why is because wild pelipper feed by scooping food into its beak, carrying it off until it reaches a cliff, and tilting its head back to swallow, so thanks to instinct, a tamed pelipper’s delivery route tended to end the moment it reached a seaside cliff … of which there are many in its native region of Hoenn.

Phanpy and Donphan

Phanpy
The Long Nose Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 231
Entry: Although this elephant-like pokémon is barely a foot and a half tall, never underestimate it. It’s still extremely strong and rather infamous for this. As a form of affection, it bumps others with its nose, including its human trainers. However, trainers who aren’t well-prepared for this may find themselves flung off their feet by an overzelaous phanpy. There is no punchline to this entry. That is literally what the official National Dex will tell you; the author just thought it would be appropriate after having broken one limb or another through this exact process no fewer than six times in his life. (It’s just so small and adorable.)

Donphan
The Armor Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 232
Entry: The evolved form of phanpy, by battle experience. Upon evolution, this elephant-like pokémon gains a hide of rugged, hard-as-steel armor. With the durability of this new armor and its sheer body weight and muscular body structure, a donphan’s favorite method of attack is by curling itself into a ball and rushing at an opponent like a rolling boulder. Incidentally, this is also its favorite way to show affection, so to the trainers who wish to add a donphan to their party … best of luck.

I have to watch my friends Fennekin for two weeks but she does not seem to like my Vulpix. They hiss at each other, steal each others toys and so much of my stuff has been set on fire. Like so much. It’s only for two weeks but is there something I can do to stop them?

It’s possible to separate them as soon as fights break out. As in, physically separate them and tell them in a firm voice to stop fighting. This may seem like a basic thing, but if you show both your friend’s fennekin and your vulpix that you’re neither afraid of them nor afraid of breaking them up and giving them a stern talking-to, then they’ll be more likely to listen to you and behave (in your presence, at least).

It’s also worth it to note that vulpix and fennekin are both fox-like fire-types that evolve into pokémon with mystical abilities and that fennekin, as starter pokémon, are known for being more docile and friendly than the considerably rarer, prouder, more capricious vulpix. That is to say, it’s important to recognize that your vulpix may feel threatened by your friend’s fennekin, so it’s important to give your vulpix its own space and amount of affection. Reassure her that you don’t plan on adding your friend’s fennekin to your team and that she doesn’t have to interact with that fennekin if she doesn’t want to—but that you need her to be on her best behavior if she does.

As for your friend’s fennekin, they’re likely suffering from a simple case of homesickness, which happens when a pokémon isn’t in the care of the human they’ve bonded with. Because of that homesickness, though, your friend’s fennekin may be feeling on edge, which isn’t helped by the animosity your vulpix is feeling due to the aforementioned worry about being replaced. So it’s important to reassure fennekin that your home is its home for the time being and that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make it feel safe and comfortable. You can do this by giving this fennekin its own space and amount of affection while keeping it away from your vulpix.

If you’re still struggling to keep their tempers in check, it may be a good idea to ensure your vulpix remains in a separate room from your friend’s fennekin. Use their poké balls if you need to, and set up a time when your friend’s fennekin is out and taken care of while your vulpix is in her ball and vice-versa. Be sure to keep their toys and possessions separate and out of reach during each shift.

I know this sounds as if I’m saying it’s impossible to get them to socialize. It’s not. In fact, after rotating them in this manner, it’s possible that they’ll understand why they’re being rotated and attempt to make amends with one another. However, the main point is this is more of an issue you should work out with your friend present, rather than with them absent, as it will involve training on their part as well. You will need to work with your friend—the fennekin’s true trainer, with whom it’s bonded—to bridge the gap between your vulpix and their fennekin and to get the hostility between them to calm. You can only do so much via training your vulpix.

Best of luck in the meantime.

How do I stop my Ninetales from trying to burn any and all grass or bug types?

You don’t. Welcome to owning a member of the vulpix family.

Edit: Once again, my editor has informed me that there has been a rule about one-line responses for quite some time, and this is a hard rule, not one I can violate whenever I merry well please as I do with other rules such as the laws of physics.

Similar to the zangoose ask a few posts ago, it’s a good idea to understand why your ninetales might be targeting specific types and how to remedy the particular reasoning behind it. However, unlike the zangoose ask a few posts ago, ninetales are known for doing terrible things to other people “just because,” which may be why there is an extremely popular legend in practically every known culture about how pulling a ninetales’s tail will result in a thousand-year curse.

That said, if there really is no reason behind your ninetales’s behavior besides sheer amusement and a certain level of malice against specific types, then most definitely add meditative exercises to your daily routine. However, unlike the zangoose ask, your aim with these meditative exercises is strictly to teach your ninetales how to heel for periods at a time—discipline, in other words. Once she figures out how to heel, you may take her out to socialize with other pokémon, particularly the grass- and bug-types she tends to burn. If she refrains from burning them, give her a treat to reinforce what she had learned from meditation. If she sets them on fire, add another ten minutes to your next meditation. Ninetales are exceptionally intelligent pokémon; eventually, she’ll begin to realize why you’re forcing her to sit still for periods of time and either learn to listen to you … or set you on fire instead. At the very least, if she does the latter, then she may tire herself out too much to set nearby grass- or bug-types on fire.

Alternatively, she may benefit a little more than the previous anonymous’s pokémon from being paired with the types she supposedly hates. By taking in a grass- or bug-type (or even both) and making them be part of your family, she’ll be forced to confront and perhaps befriend her new partners. Of course, it’s also important to be there during their first few interactions to ensure she doesn’t set them on fire as well, but eventually, after quite some time of this, she’ll break down and come to accept her teammates.

Best of luck, anonymous!