The timburr and/or the sewaddle line please! You’re not far off completing the Unova dex :D

Well, I certainly can’t refuse a request like this, especially when you’re correct about how close the Unova Dex is from completion. Sewaddle will be along tomorrow, anonymous!

Timburr
The Muscular Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 532
Entry: This short humanoid pokémon always carries a square log with one arm, which it often uses as a blunt melee weapon. These logs are typically of various sizes, but their weight is a good indicator of how old a timburr is. If the log is small and light, then the timburr is a hatchling. If the log is roughly the weight of the timburr itself but slightly taller, then the timburr has reached the peak of its evolutionary stage. If, however, the log is at least twice as heavy and large as the timburr, then it’s close to evolution. Trainers will know that evolution is just about to begin if the timburr throws its log with ease away from its body. Incidentally, it should also be noted that the average timburr is twenty-six pounds, that the statement that the log will be at least twice as heavy as that is not an exaggeration, and that taking a fifty-pound block of wood to the legs is not a pleasant experience.

Gurdurr
The Muscular Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 533
Entry: The evolved form of timburr, by battle experience. Thanks to their well-developed bodies, gurdurr can lift and carry solid steel beams without breaking a sweat. Additionally, although their muscles are naturally well-toned, they enjoy training themselves constantly using their steel beams and any exercise equipment they can find. Many even adopt strange diets of nutritional powders in order to bulk themselves up and sculpt sets of muscles that they then show off to groups of other gurdurr. Attempts have been made to decipher the gurdurr’s language during such meetings, but the nearest translation any researcher has been able to achieve was the phrase, “do you even lift, brah,” repeated over and over again.

Conkeldurr
The Muscular Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 534
Entry: The evolved form of gurdurr, via trading. This muscular pokémon is known for carrying not one but two pillars of solid concrete, which it crafts itself shortly after evolution. Conkeldurr uses its own formula for mixing concrete—a formula that, if you believe the Unova Dex, was passed on to humans 2000 years ago. Of course, if you believe archaeological evidence, concrete was actually created by an ancient human civilization in the Middle East roughly 7500 years ago and was commonly employed by the Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians since at least 1400 BC. Then again, as we all know, the Unovan account of human history has never been wrong ever.

When Psychic types “talk” to humans, do they have their own voices and accents or do they just sound like that little voicr in you hear

It depends on their level of mastery over telepathy, actually. Younger, less powerful pokémon tend to sound exactly as they do when speaking aloud. That is to say, an abra’s words will sound like an abra’s barks do to your ears.

As they get older or more powerful, however, they gain the ability to replicate different voices, and thus, they sound however they feel like sounding. Some of the most powerful pokémon, I’m told, tend to use deeper voices, occasionally with accents seen as being “high class” to humans, all in an effort to instill an appropriate level of respect. For another example, my own kadabra most often reminds me of my grandfather’s voice: bass, smooth, and with an accent much like my own. Amanita’s munna, conversely, often “speaks” with a high-pitched, feminine voice, even though the munna is actually male.

In general, though, psychic pokémon make an effort to avoid using your voice when it speaks. This is for two reasons. First and foremost, using your voice increases the risk that you mistake what they have to say for your own inner thoughts, leading you to inadvertently ignore them. Second, it doesn’t exactly do wonders for one’s emotional stability, no.

I got my pikachu in Johto, if I were to evolve it in Alola would it become an alolan raichu or be a normal raichu because it isn’t originally from Alola?

Unfortunately, should you be hoping for a psychic raichu, the truth is that Alolan raichu are the byproducts of adaptive evolution. That is to say, the pikachu of Alola simply have a slightly different genetic code than Johtonian pikachu (or, for that matter, any other), so pikachu brought to Alola will always evolve into the non-psychic variation. To that same end, pikachu brought out of Alola to other regions will always evolve into the psychic variation.

Thus, to answer your question, a pikachu born in Johto will only evolve into non-psychic raichu.

So I read in a magazine a boy named Ash Ketchum and his greninja were able to sort of fuse and create an Ash- Greninja. Is this fusion possible with all types of Pokémon? Or was that story a hoax?

It’s difficult to say, anonymous. The “Ash-greninja” is a fairly new discovery, and not much is known about how it works and whether or not it’s possible for others. We assume that it’s similar to mega-evolution, but until we fully understand that, it may still be a mystery.

I do know, though, that Ash Ketchum is a rather unique individual, so it wouldn’t surprise me in the least if this is a talent of his alone. On that note, I fully believe that the story was not a hoax … but then again, I first learned of this evolutionary anomaly from Professor Oak, so perhaps my opinions were influenced just a little from the outset.

Occasionally trainers send out Pokémon who are actively caring for their young, e.g. Clamperl or Kangaskhan. I always forfeit for fear of harming the young or damaging the ability of the parent to care for them, but what is the legal status here?

One important thing to keep in mind concerning clamperl at the very least is that many people mistake the lumps inside its shell for children. In actuality, the pink sphere is its head, and the lumps surrounding it are merely its organs. Granted, all of these are soft tissues, but clamperl is fully capable of shutting its shell before any real damage is done to them.

As for kangaskhan, rest assured that if her joey is too young to battle, then the kangaskhan herself will refuse to battle except in life-threatening instances, and believe me, it is extremely difficult to convince a kangaskhan to battle otherwise. Any kangaskhan who wishes to battle with a joey in her pouch is actually attempting to teach her joey how to battle, and she will always keep a wary eye out for any attack that may do harm to her young or render her incapable of taking care of it. This sounds like a kangaskhan is therefore at a disadvantage, but in actuality, the species is infamous for its ability to multitask. A mother kangaskhan who’s teaching her joey how to battle is even more formidable and skilled than most pokémon who battle on their own.

All of this is really important to note because in these cases, the Pokémon Association and the regional governments see nothing wrong with allowing clamperl or kangaskhan to battle. In fact, in kangaskhan’s case, preventing her from doing so is considered detrimental to her mental health and the development of her young. Joeys, unfortunately, don’t learn how to battle on their own, so they need the observations they glean from watching their mothers battle up close to figure out how to do it themselves.

With regards to any other pokémon that has young, trainers are expected to exercise their better judgment. Most good trainers never use hatchlings immediately after birth as they lack proper battling skills, but their parents are usually ready (and frequently eager) to go. Obviously, if a hatchling is so weak it absolutely needs its parent (namely in the case of illness), then a trainer is required to let their pokémon care for their young, but most good trainers will allow the parent to do this. A trainer who refuses and insists on using the parent despite the failing health of the hatchling is quite possibly abusive. However, you’ll be able to tell the difference between the average pokémon-trainer relationship and a case of abuse by looking at the disposition of the pokémon. If it seems that the pokémon is at all unwilling to battle, then that’s a good sign that something is wrong. A pokémon with young to care for will put the young first, before even battling.

In short, that’s rather kind of you to be so concerned about hatchlings and their parents, dear reader, but rest assured, both clamperl and kangaskhan are more capable of battling than you would think, as are most other pokémon with young. So for that reason, there are only really laws in place regarding general pokémon abuse but not specifically bringing young onto the battlefield.

My boyfriends younger sister is very close to me and I’ve been asked by her parents to figure out a suitable starter for her (I’m a fairy researcher, but I don’t think they know I’m specialized in only one typing) she’s very shy with new people, what do you think a good starter for her would be?

Well, anonymous, that depends. What would your boyfriend’s sister want? If she would be interested in a fairy-type, then there’s actually nothing that would prevent you from giving her one. In fact, given her shyness, some of the ones who do well around humans, such as jigglypuff or marill, may be excellent choices for her, as these may encourage her to communicate with others (rather than run away at the first sight of a human who isn’t her). In fact, marill’s secondary water typing may even give it the advantage in some regions, particularly those where the first gym is of the rock type.

Otherwise, there are quite a vast number of pokémon that would be ideal for people who are otherwise rather shy. The traditional starters themselves are often trained to handle people of all dispositions, including those who might not be comfortable communicating off the battlefield. Of those, grass-types tend to be the calmest and least challenging in most regions, and bulbasaur and chikorita are widely known for their ability to calm those who might be in uncomfortable situations (including socializing).

If, however, the traditional starters are not accessible to you, it would then depend on your region or on which breeders you know. By and large, the more common the pokémon, the more comfortable with humans they are. Naturally, they may also be challenging starters, as extremely common pokémon such as rattata may be weaker than most other available pokémon. Thus, giving your boyfriend’s sister one of these as a starter may do more harm than good for her self-esteem, as early battles may be difficult for her. On the other hand, they also tend to be easier to tame and quicker to train than rarer pokémon, as their requirements for care tend to be easier to meet. Nonetheless, I wouldn’t rule out rare pokémon entirely, either. If you can obtain them, a fair number of them—such as meowth, pikachu, growlithe, or eevee—are both extremely friendly and wonderful conversation starters, meaning it’s more likely that someone would be willing to break the metaphorical ice with a trainer who owns one of these than anything else.

The point is, it’s difficult to offer specific advice because, really, every pokémon may be a suitable starter. I would simply avoid any pokémon who’s also notoriously shy, lazy, or difficult to handle, and many of these are listed as such in their pokédex entries. Conversely, for someone who’s shy around new people, she may fare well with pokémon who are more well-known for being friendly or loyal.

But above all else, you may simply want to ask her what pokémon she would most like to train. Matching her with a partner she wants to bond with will help her feel more comfortable with the idea of training and battling. If she can reach that point, she’ll be able to communicate with others the best way trainers know how: by battling.

Best of luck to you and your boyfriend’s sister!

I have two service animals: an absol and houndoom. While they’re both very gentle and kind, and are very well trained, people always give me dirty looks or tell me that I can’t bring them in stores or restaurants because no one wants a lifelong painful burn from a houndoom or to be cursed by an absol. How can I show people the stigma behind these Pokémon are false and that my Pokémon are just as well suited to service animal life as others are?

I’m afraid that dark-type service pokémon face many of the same challenges pet or battle-ready dark-types face, and there’s not much you can do about that unless you have the energy to educate (which not many people do, I know). There will always be people who are convinced that all dark-types, regardless of training, are uncontrollable beasts who will lash out at a moment’s notice. Sometimes, people can be convinced that your pokémon are harmless if you show them that they’re gentle (perhaps by having a non-dark pet or battle-ready pokémon accompany them), but this could be a distraction for your service pokémon. That and it’s not a guarantee that people will leave you alone, especially if you live in regions that are especially rich with anti-dark-type folklore.

My advice would be to ensure that your service pokémon are wearing their service vests, do your best to keep them professional at all times, and remember that you have an actual human right to bring your service pokémon with you. If a person simply gives you a dirty look, try your best to ignore it and remember that there is nothing wrong with you or your service pokémon. If possible, travel with a friend who’s comfortable with your service pokémon, as having at least one human with you who clearly doesn’t mind your absol or houndoom may be a comfort to others.

If you’re confronted by someone, however, always remain calm. I know, it may seem difficult to stay calm in those situations, especially given how vehemently some people address dark-type handlers, but it’s important to avoid escalating the situation. Therefore, if you’re in an inescapable situation wherein someone questions your service pokémon or tells you that they need to be removed from the premises, calmly tell the other person that you’re disabled, that you need your service pokémon (and, if you wish, for what reason), and that the law of your region (in most cases) allows you to enter a business establishment with pokémon of any type who are trained to assist those with disabilities.

If an employee still has an issue with your service pokémon and they are not a manager, ask to speak with the manager. If it’s a fellow patron who has approached you, find an employee and ask for assistance. And if it’s the manager themselves, remind them that barring you entry is discrimination.

Should this fail to stop the manager or owner from barring you entry or kicking you and your service pokémon out, contact your region’s Division of Human Rights (the actual name also tends to depend on the region—be sure to educate yourself on your local laws and government bodies as well) to file a complaint against the establishment. This, of course, should be your very last option, as filing a complaint means working with the legal system, which itself could be more of a mess than it’s worth, depending on your region. Nonetheless, it’s still a viable option, especially if—blazes forbid—violence was involved.

I know this might not be the answer you’re looking for, anonymous, but I’m afraid the stigma against dark-types is always going to be a problem for us humans. Even if your pokémon are nothing if not professional, there will always be one or two people who will give you strange looks for having dark-type service pokémon. Thus, it’s best to ignore those who don’t engage with you and, whenever possible, to educate those who do. Who knows? Maybe, if your town is small enough or if you frequent an establishment enough, your efforts to educate will evolve into a rapport with the owners and regulars, who can then, in turn, help others to feel comfortable with your pokémon whenever you’re in. Friendship often breeds friendship, which is why it’s very important to stay calm, know your rights, and be prepared to de-escalate and educate, if you can.

Best of luck, anonymous.

My mudkip is an infant and the son of my swampert starter. He really loves me and when I walk around the house tries to follow me, I find this adorable but he likes taking baths and showers with me. As a mudkip I don’t have a problem with that but I don’t want him to continue the behavior into evolution. I would have no room! What do I do?

This may actually resolve itself over time, anonymous. You mention that your mudkip is a newborn, and if you were there for its hatching, then it’s very likely that your mudkip is simply expressing the usual level of affection a hatchling gives a human it perceives as one of its parents. As it gets older and more self-reliant—especially as it nears or achieves evolution—it may give you more and more space.

If it doesn’t, however, you can teach the average pokémon a large number of things via positive reinforcement, including how to give you privacy. If it tries to get in the shower with you, put it outside and give it a toy. For every session it stays outside, give it a treat as soon as you’re done in the bathroom. Eventually, it will begin to understand that staying outside is a good thing, so every time you enter the bathroom, it will wait for you, rather than follow you.

It may also be worth it to do something similar to encourage your mudkip to take baths on its own, especially after it reaches its marshtomp stage. While you should still invest in a pool for your mudkip and its evolutions, some people also like to teach their marshtomp to use the shower, especially if they don’t need to pay for water or worry about droughts. By doing this, not only is the marshtomp encouraged to groom itself, but it also learns where it should go if it needs water whenever you drain its pool for routine maintenance.

Would you be willing to do another “Leader Dex” entry? Perhaps on Kanto-Johto’s Elite Four?

Well, I haven’t yet been beaten into the ground by certain gym leaders’ pokémon, so certainly.

That is still a terrible reason for doing these. —LH

Lorelei
The Queen of Ice
Type: Ice
Position: Kanto—First Point
Entry: A highly skilled strategic mastermind originally from Four Island. Her demeanor on the battlefield is fearsome and focused, and her command of her water- and ice-types—most notably jynx, dewgong, and lapras—is virtually unrivaled. For these reasons, it is a remarkably terrible idea to threaten her idyllic home village … or to bring up her love for collecting soft pokémon dolls. Incidentally, this entry also describes the blog’s editor, which is why the author is occasionally terrified of her too.

Bruno
The Fist of Fury
Type: Fighting
Position: Kanto—Second Point; Johto—Third Point
Entry: A black belt in multiple branches of martial arts, this man is fully capable of breaking the average human being in half, never mind the capabilities of his highly trained elite force of fighting- and ground-type pokémon. Yet despite this, he is still less terrifying than Lorelei.

Agatha
The Gray Lady
Type: Ghost
Position: Kanto—Third Point
Entry: A veteran trainer and master of the ghost and poison types. Renowned for her toughness but also for her temper, she famously was once a rival to Professor Oak himself, shortly before his retirement from training. Evidently, this was decades ago, but the exact circumstances of his retirement have left Agatha so bitter that any mention of Oak—especially words of reverence—in her presence may provoke her volcanic anger. One would think the author would find her more fearsome than Lorelei and thus hesitate to write this entry (or refer to her as “the Gray Lady”), but luckily, Lorelei agrees with him, and Agatha herself is a technophobe and thus is unlikely to read this.

Lance
The Dragon Master
Type: Dragon
Position: Kanto—Fourth Point
Entry: Thankfully, the far more amicable cousin of Clair, and a far better conversationalist at that. He can still very likely break you with not one but two dragonite, but at the very least, he’s far less likely to do so.

Will
The Psychic Wonder
Type: Psychic
Position: Johto—First Point
Entry: The youngest inductee to the Elite Four and a master of psychic pokémon. From a young age, this formidable psychic-type specialist trained under the best minds of his field from all over the world until he became strong and skilled enough to develop his abilities into his own, unique battling style. As the youngest member of the Elite Four, Will has a habit of forgoing his own well-being in favor of training under the assumption that this is the only way he can maintain his lofty position, but at the same time, he’s well-known among his peer group for having a rather … odd sense of humor that relies heavily on puns, sarcasm, and morbidity. For all of these reasons, the editor of this blog has asked me to note that this individual reminds her of a certain other workaholic Johtonian prodigy with confidence issues, a terrible sense of humor, and a kadabra, but unfortunately, she never told the author who this could be. (What if I know them, Lanette?)

Koga
The Poisonous Ninja Master
Type: Poison
Position: Johto—Second Point
Entry: You are still not allowed to go anywhere near this man’s daughter. Also, you are not allowed to ask when he got promoted to the Elite Four. He just did.

Karen
The Mistress of Shadows
Type: Dark
Position: Johto—Fourth Point
Entry: A talented mistress of the dark type and lover of all pokémon. Also beautiful, intelligent, wise, fantastically powerful, passionate, elegant, determined, emotionally strong, and—for the numbers of you who have sent fanmail to both the Pokémon League HQ or, inexplicably, the Pokémon Association HQ—flattered but still aromantic and asexual.

I had a bad experience with a Mr. Mime as a child and as an adult am still terrified of them. My boyfriend had a mime jr, who I love to bits but I’m terrified of him evolving :( what do I do?

First and foremost, it’s extremely important for you to communicate with your boyfriend about this. That way, he knows about your condition, and he can (assuming he wishes to prolong your relationship with him) take steps to safeguard your mental well-being. This may even include discussing things with his mime jr. to see if it wishes to evolve in the first place—and, if it doesn’t, what it wishes to do to avoid evolution. You see, mime jr. can only evolve if it’s taught a certain move. Thus, staying in its base form would actually take no effort at all, save for the paltry amount it would take to resist learning Mimic. As you’ve said, you’re comfortable with your boyfriend’s mime jr. as it is, so if mime jr. is comfortable with its form, then your solution is easier than you might think.

However, if mime jr. wishes to evolve, then there are a few options that you could exercise. You could see about perhaps reaching a compromise, where your boyfriend trains his mime jr. up to be the strongest mime jr. that has ever existed, or it could evolve and simply keep its distance. Alternatively, there’s also exposure therapy, which tends to be the easiest and most effective way of treating most pokémon-related phobias, and thus, it may be the most ideal option you have, as it allows mime jr. to assume the form it most wishes to be while at the same time helping you to maintain your relationship with it past its evolution. If you wish to try this method, it’s important for you to find and talk to a certified therapist, as this is, of course, what’s technically a medical treatment (meaning I can’t in good conscience offer detailed advice on how to administer it).

Still, I can’t emphasize this enough: your most important task right now is talking to your boyfriend and making it clear to both him and his mime jr. your concerns. Let them know that it’s not his mime jr. specifically but rather a fear instilled in you by prior experiences that you would be willing to resolve if necessary. In addition to working out possible solutions (the aforementioned compromises), your boyfriend and his mime jr. will likely be your biggest form of support, should you wish to undergo exposure therapy.

Good luck, anonymous.