My misdrevus and I had a great relationship before it’s evolution, but since it’s evolved she doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me. I do notice at night she’ll fly over my bed in circles and do chants… is she cursing me?

It depends. If you still fall asleep as she circles above you, do you have good dreams or bad? If you’re having bad dreams, then yes, she’s cursing you, and it’s a good idea to take steps I’ll outline in a moment. If you’re having good dreams, then actually, no. Mismagius tend to be more aloof pokémon than their predecessors, likely because the dusk stone imbibes them with a dark magic of their own. As such, mismagius are in a constant state of meditating and quietly practicing black magic, especially shortly after their evolution, as they’re in a rush to master their powers before these energies backfire on them. However, if you can actually hear them, then they’re turning some of this magic on you—which is not necessarily a bad thing. If they’ve bonded with a human, then mismagius will have a tendency to use their newfound magic abilities to protect and bring happiness to their trainers. If you’re experiencing good dreams, then this is a sure sign that your mismagius still cares for you and is currently doing everything she can to please you. It’s important to thank her and encourage her to continue developing her abilities as much as possible. Perhaps even ask her if there’s a way you can help her train; she may be pleased with your interest in her magic, which in turn will guarantee that she will continue to bring happiness to you, rather than turn her incantations into curses.

However, if you’re experiencing bad dreams, then yes, she’s cursing you. If this is the case, then you need to find out what it is that’s upsetting her as quickly as possible. A mismagius’s magic can “pile up,” as it were, and some of the bad luck she’s wishing you in your dreams may begin to affect your waking life. Offer her treats or gifts, apologize for anything you may have done to her, and ask her if there’s anything you can do to make things right with her—then do exactly as she says. If this doesn’t work, regardless of what you may be tempted to do, do not force her out of your bedroom through cleansing rituals or cleanse tags. This will only anger her and lead her to curse you in your waking life. Rather, sleep with a cleanse tag under your pillow and continue to work with her during the day to figure out what it is that’s troubling her. It could really be any number of things, so I apologize for my vagueness in this advice.

Best of luck, anonymous.

Any tips on raising ghost Pokémon? I hear a lot of bad things about them but I recently met a very sweet driftloon who I fell in love with and adopted as soon as I met

Well, it depends on the ghost, anonymous, as each ghost is its own species with its own requirements. I’m a little concerned about the sweetness of this drifloon, however, as drifloon are rather notorious for acting sweet until you grab hold of their strings, at which point they try to carry you away to parts unknown. Of course, the likelihood of it succeeding is slim (as drifloon can’t even lift a toddler on their own), but still, be wary of possible ulterior motives when it comes to wild ghosts.

If the drifloon actually wants to live with you for reasons that have nothing to do with your soul, then I do admit that ghosts are generally easier to take care of than most other pokémon. Mostly incorporeal ghosts such as the gastly and drifloon line are clean in that they don’t need baths, nor do they relieve themselves, thus eliminating two of the less desirable aspects of raising pokémon. They still may make a bit of a mess (as they’re far more mischievous in general than most other types), but this would be limited to typical poltergeist activity. This kind of behavior is difficult to train out of a ghost-type until you bond with it to the point where it takes your requests (for it to stop tossing your possessions about) seriously. Try to occupy it with soft toys instead—anything you wouldn’t mind allowing it to throw about.

By and large, while most ghosts are nocturnal, this is not the case for drifloon, whose normal hunting habits require it to be awake during the day, when its typical prey (small children) are awake. Thus, don’t be surprised if your drifloon keeps the same sleep schedule you do. Additionally, when they sleep, most ghosts prefer to take on incorporeal/invisible forms, to float in an unreachable corner, or to simply rest on a shelf where they can’t be bothered, depending on the pokémon and their usual mode of self-defense. The drifloon family prefers the second method, which means the usual beds I would recommend are not necessary in its case. However, be sure that your drifloon rests in a room without a ceiling fan or uncovered vent, as your drifloon won’t be consciously monitoring where it floats as it sleeps.

Normally, a drifloon’s diet consists of … well, let’s just say there is absolutely no way you can procure what a drifloon normally eats without being arrested. Luckily, drifloon will happily take most human food and poké-kibble as a replacement. As a general rule, ghosts (with the exception of sableye) are omnivores, but most, drifloon included, lean more towards a carnivorous lifestyle than a herbivorous. However, while scientists have argued for decades over the subject of what, exactly, the more incorporeal ghost-types get out of eating (as they don’t seem to need any particular set of nutrients), it’s always worth it to feed them a variety of foods, rather than feeding them exclusively meat. Granted, you could also get away with not feeding them at all, but this may encourage drifloon to go out and hunt your neighbor’s children instead.

As for activities, your drifloon won’t actually need much exercise, and ghosts by-and-large already have a full mastery of their powers by the time they make themselves known to humans. When the two of you get closer, your drifloon may allow you to hold one of its strings, at which point, it’s fine to take it outside and get it some air. Try to avoid taking it outside before it allows you to hold onto it, however. A stiff breeze may separate the two of you, and that would be rather unfortunate.

If you happen to be a trainer, however, it’s worth it to note that most ghosts can learn a variety of moves, and they tend to be eager students. Drifloon is no exception to this. What I mean to say is that it’s worthwhile for trainers to capture ghost-types, as these are quite easy to train (once you get past their mischievous streaks) and quite capable of being rather flexible on the battlefield.

But most importantly, anonymous, keep your drifloon away from small children. Technically, the child won’t be in danger because, again, drifloon can’t carry off a toddler on its own, but it will be just the worst for drifloon’s self-confidence.

Good luck, anonymous!

Kricketot and Kricketune

Kricketot
The Cricket Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 401
Entry: A small, cricket-like pokémon first discovered in the forests of Sinnoh. Kricketot’s bulbous antennae are actually hollow but configured in just the right way that when struck together, they create the xylophone sound the species is known for. As kricketot are most active in the late summer and early fall, this melodious, xylophone-like sound is considered to be the sign that autumn (or “fall” in the Sinnohan dialect) is quickly approaching. When walking through the forests of Sinnoh in early autumn, pay particularly close attention to the way the melody sounds. If it’s smooth and deliberate, with consistently timed tones, then you may be overhearing two or more kricketot conversing with one another. If, however, the sound is chaotic, loud, and ends abruptly, it could be that the unfortunately short kricketot had stumbled over its own stubby legs and struck its antennae together by sheer accident as it fell. It’s interesting to note that one of these types of sounds tends to be more frequent than the other, and suffice to say, there is very likely a reason why Sinnohans call autumn “fall,” other than because of their leaves.

Kricketune
The Cricket Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 402
Entry: The evolved form of kricketot, by battle experience. Kricketune is just as famous for its melodies as its pre-evolved form, but unlike its pre-evolved form, a kricketune produces its tones by rubbing its knife-like front legs together across its violin-like chest. The end result is a rapid, surprisingly variable sound related directly to their emotions. In other words, kricketune have the ability to convey their emotions through differences in their sound patterns. Tamed kricketune have a tendency to “sing” with quick, energetic waltz that indicates their happiness or contentment. Kricketune that have been separated from their mates or trainers will “sing” in slow, dark minuets or sonatas—sometimes even a dirge. Finally, wild kricketune that have just been startled usually respond with an avant garde “deleleleWHOOOP” … shortly before executing X-Scissor into the hapless researcher’s back as it leaps unexpectedly from the nearby tall grasses.

In a few weeks I’ll be looking after my sister’s clefairy while she’s busy moving. Do you have any advice for looking after a clefairy?

Well, first and foremost, never let a clefairy anywhere near your research equipment.

(I … what? —LH

It’s valid advice! —Bill)

In all seriousness, it’s important to know first how your sister cares for her clefairy normally and stick to those routines. Clefairy are highly intelligent, extremely curious, and slightly mischievous pokémon, and if you deviate from their routine and pamper them in the slightest, they’ll attempt to take advantage of that. Write down everything your sister tells you and stick as closely to that as possible. Most importantly, never let your guard down. Clefairy are cute, they know this, and they will take the first opportunity they can get to disappear on you if you take your eyes off them for a moment.

That having been said, remember that clefairy are heavily influenced by the moon. If your sister’s clefairy is staying with you for more than a month, be prepared to allow it outside for its monthly moon ritual (an energetic dance beneath the light of the full moon). If you have any other pokémon or soft toys, it’s important to have them ready, as clefairy often seek warm, soft things to cuddle next to after it wears itself out from its dancing. Otherwise, a soft bed—preferably one with plenty of blankets it can burrow into—will do just fine to make it feel comfortable.

Additionally, clefairy are predominantly cave pokémon, so they can be kept occupied with boxes or special “clefairy trees,” or scratching posts with multiple branches. If you don’t wish to buy a clefairy tree just for this stay (which is understandable), be sure to keep an eye on your sister’s clefairy to keep it from climbing your furniture and burrowing into your laundry piles. If you can get a few cardboard boxes your sister won’t need for packing, this should be enough to keep her clefairy in line. You likely won’t need to trim your clefairy’s nails (which is an ordeal), but definitely be warned that some clefairy will claw at furniture. Supply your sister’s with soft toys to keep it from doing this. Finally, jingling toys and shiny, crinkling objects are also excellent ways to keep a clefairy occupied, but ask your sister for her clefairy’s preferences.

On a temporary basis, pokémon in general can be fed kibble, but should you wish to give your sister’s clefairy a treat at all, give it nuts or berries. Don’t feed it fairy cakes. It’s a misconception that they like those, and in any case, you very likely don’t want the resulting sugar rush. Of course, also keep a dish of clean water available for it as well.

In terms of waste elimination, most house clefairy relieve themselves in covered litter boxes, but some have been trained to use toilets. If your sister’s uses a litter box, you should change this daily if possible. If your sister’s is toilet-trained, just be warned that toilet training does not include teaching them how to flush. Be aware that an accident may happen because clefairy, normally timid pokémon, may be alarmed by any change of scenery. Just have patience and let your sister’s know where its litter box (or the toilet) is.

As for cleaning it, clefairy can self-groom, but once a week or if it gets into anything particularly vile, you can give your clefairy a bath in a sink using pokémon soap available at most pokémarts. Some clefairy are also trained to brush their teeth on their own; your sister will likely have a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste specially made for hers that’s part of its routine. If it isn’t, don’t worry about it; clefairy teeth can go for a week without being brushed.

A few notes on some common behaviors: clefairy can largely entertain themselves (especially if you give it boxes), but they also enjoy being petted. If your sister’s nibbles at you, that’s usually a sign that it trusts you, and if it butts its curl against you, that means it likes you enough to mark it as its own. (The curl contains scent glands, much like a cat’s cheeks.) Meanwhile, another common sign to look out for is an uncurled tail, usually in conjunction with paler fur. This is usually a sign that your sister’s clefairy is getting sick, so it’s important to take it to the pokémon center as soon as possible. Finally, if your sister’s clefairy starts vocalizing frequently at night, that’s a good sign that the full moon is approaching or that it’s already here. Let it outside and keep a close eye on it for dancing.

Finally, a warning: a clefairy that gets too comfortable in its new habitat will usually try to nest. That doesn’t mean it’s trying to mate. Rather, it means that the clefairy will assemble materials to fashion for itself a nest—materials that usually include soft objects, such as clothing. Every clefairy has the ability to generate a strong adhesive in the backs of their throats that harden into a crystalline substance when in contact with air. These clefairy then use this substance to glue together materials to form that nest—which is to say that if you start noticing your sister’s clefairy gathering your personal items into a pile, it’s a good idea to keep it from spitting on them and gluing them together. If you can’t stop it from doing this, all pokémarts sell cleaners that can neutralize this substance, but it will still be a bit of a challenge to clean. Don’t lose your temper at your sister’s clefairy (for this or anything else), however. Yelling at a clefairy is a great way to scare it, which then may drive it to hide somewhere in your home or even run away—neither of which will end well for something as small as a clefairy.

But most importantly, never let one anywhere near your electronics. Just … just trust me on that.

Best of luck, anonymous!

Is it ethical to bring fossils back to life? (Ecologically and for the sake of the pokemon’s sanity)

First, it’s important to keep in mind that when we say fossils are revived, what we really mean is a specimen was built using a copy of a genetic sample. It doesn’t mean that the pokémon is literally revived from the dead, memories and all. The pokémon’s sanity is typically fine, as it was born in this time period and has no memory of its species’ prehistoric lives or habitats.

The problem, of course, is in the ecological side of things. Fossil pokémon can’t be reintroduced into the wild, for example, because time has progressed to the point where the ecosystem has stabilized without them. Thus, reintroduction would actually be considered the introduction of an invasive species, which could be disastrous for some regions. (Hoenn, for example, as one of its registered fossil pokémon was an apex predator.)

That and a fossil’s survival rate may be questionable at best, given that it may be difficult to find adequate habitats or alternative food sources for them. For example, the archen line lived in the jungles of Unova and fed primarily on the fruit of the archen tree. However, due to climate changes and tectonic shift, Unova is no longer blanketed with tropical rain forest expanses, and the archen tree itself is completely extinct. While it may be possible for archen to at least survive in a comparable climate (the Amazon, for example), the question is whether or not it will adapt to modern local fruits on its own, what with the fact that archen fruit supposedly comprised much of its diet. (This can be a bit of a challenge, even in domesticated settings.)

Thus, if fossils are revived en masse, rather than occasionally for research purposes, the resulting pokémon can only be kept in captivity—except for kabuto, which can be introduced to wild kabuto populations, but that’s a different story. In all other cases, it’s a bit too risky.

In light of all of this, you could say that the question of whether or not it’s ethical at all is still up for debate. Naturally, scientists would take the best possible care of captive fossil pokémon, and contrary to popular belief, most respectable scientists are concerned enough about ethics to revitalize fossils responsibly. (The idea that we would create a specimen capable of thought, study it, and then cull it without a second thought is a gross misrepresentation of modern pokémonology.) Still, whether or not we should revitalize fossils is a bit problematic, as a life in captivity, or for the sole purpose of captivity, is not much of a life at all, according to some people.

I suppose this is one of the rare instances where I leave the question up to you, readers. Officially, there are rules that ensure the process is done responsibly, but there really is no word on whether or not creating life is truly ethical. It’s a problem scientists have faced with artificially created pokémon—such as porygon and voltorb—as well.

The Seedot Line

Seedot
The Acorn Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 273
Entry: A small, acorn-like pokémon native to dense forests. It hangs from trees, where it’s often indistinguishable from ordinary seeds or apricorns. There, it waits until a human or another pokémon comes close, at which point it suddenly shakes violently to scare its target. There is literally no reason for this; seedot simply enjoys scaring people because that’s how it goes. As an added bonus, any attempt made by its victims to retaliate against this scaring is usually met with Bide. Because you can never be too much of a delightful sentient being.

Nuzleaf
The Wily Pokémon
Type: Grass/Dark
Official Registration #: 274
Entry: The evolved form of seedot, by battle experience. This childlike pokémon has the ability to play a grass flute, which tends to make passing humans feel uneasy. It also has the ability to drive trainers to capture only one pokémon whenever they enter new areas and abandon any pokémon that has fainted in the heat of battle, but whether or not this has anything to do with the actual flute playing is still up for debate.

Shiftry
The Wicked Pokémon
Type: Grass/Dark
Official Registration #: 275
Entry: The evolved form of nuzleaf, by exposure to leaf stone. This mysterious pokémon is said to be a forest guardian. When humans venture into its sanctum within the deepest, darkest parts of the forest, it uses the giant, leafy fans it has on its hands to whip up winds of up to 100 miles per hour to blow the foe away. Given this description, it may seem odd that shiftry would be designated the wicked pokémon, but this perhaps says quite a bit about humanity’s relationship with nature up until recently.

For once, it’s me delivering a note to you, readers, but my editor is a bit busy preparing a few things on her end, seeing as the end of the month is nearly upon us. I’m not one for lengthy housekeeping notes myself, so I’ll keep this brief.

Throughout the month of November, our ask box will be closed. I know. I apologize, dear readers, but this is for a number of reasons. First, there is the fact that the Alola Regional Dex is due to be released in the middle of the month, and I plan on doing a special series of entries just on Alola pokémon a few days afterwards. However, some of you may consider these to be “spoilers,” as you plan your own journeys through Alola and would prefer to be surprised by what pokémon you find there. Thus, in anticipation for the excitement you may be experiencing, we’d like to wait a week or two before opening the ask box, just in case we receive asks concerning Alola pokémon. (Yes, we also realize that some Alola pokémon have already been “spoiled” in previous asks, to which we apologize sincerely.)

Second and more importantly, my editor will not be available to check my responses, so all material you’ll be seeing throughout the month of November will be prepared entries and ask responses. We will, in other words, still be accepting asks up until October 31, and we will still post responses to those asks throughout the next month.

What will my editor be doing in the meantime? Well, readers, glad you asked! From what I understand, she will be participating in National Novel Writing Month, during which she will be writing slash fanfiction between the Professor and the Maestro, the titular lead and the main villain of the science-fiction crime drama, The Professor Evolves Eight Times. She tells me she has no intention of posting said fanfiction, to which I apologize. But rest assured, she will definitely be busy writing slash fanfiction.

It is not slash fanfiction. It is a long-form transformative literary piece exploring the interactions between canonical subtext and current sociopolitical issues while at the same time highlighting the structure and function of quasi-healthy interpersonal relationships between two consenting adults. —LH

Yes. Slash fanfiction. That’s what I said. —Bill

The ask box will be opened again in December, readers, and I promise you Bill will be well-behaved and ready for it. —LH

Can I read your slash fanfiction when you’re done? —Bill

No. —LH

Joltik and Galvantula

Joltik
The Attaching Pokémon
Type: Bug/Electric
Official Registration #: 595
Entry: A tiny, arachnid-like pokémon first discovered in the magnetic caves of Unova. Joltik’s small, furry body is incapable of generating electricity, so instead, it latches onto larger beings and picks up static electricity from them. It’s important for trainers to check themselves after leaving caves because of this. Although joltik normally latch onto pokémon, they can’t always tell the difference between pokémon and humans, and their tiny size often makes it easy to overlook them. One good way of detecting joltik is by wearing dark clothing when you travel through caves, as their neon-yellow bodies will often stand out against dark backgrounds. Another way, of course, is waiting until you’re randomly electrocuted. At that point, there’s usually a very good chance that you’re unknowingly carrying a joltik.

Galvantula
The EleSpider Pokémon
Type: Bug/Electric
Official Registration #: 596
Entry: The evolved form of joltik, by battle experience. This large, tarantula-like pokémon hunts by weaving an electrically-charged web in its domain. When prey stumbles into this web, the charge instantly paralyzes them long enough for the galvantula to crawl down, bind them in an electrically-charged cocoon, and bite them to liquefy their organs enough for later consumption. Needless to say, this is a brilliant hunting strategy in the wild. When tamed, however … not so much.

My boyfriend just recently got a job at a casino, and I was wondering what kind of Pokémon would be allowed out by patrons? I figure ghost and psychic types would be considered a no go due to cheating. And would blackjack or other card dealers have pokemon with them to ensure cheating wasn’t occurring?

Psychics and ghosts, as well as any pokémon with precognitive abilities (namely absol, which can predict when their owners will lose disastrously and thus warn them from placing certain bets) are the ones that are typically banned from most establishments, yes. However, there are other pokémon that are barred, depending on the game and region in question. For example, chatot’s exemplary memory means it’s generally banned from blackjack tables due to their ability to count cards. Likewise, anything capable of learning Psychic (or telekinetic moves in general), regardless of whether or not they actually are psychic-types are also barred from roulette tables, slot machines, and pachinko parlors. Because that last quality covers an extensive list of pokémon due to the TM system, pokémon in general are barred from Sinnohan casinos, many of which rely on slot machines.

Additionally, most regions prohibit trainers from releasing members of the chansey line, members of the togepi line, and anything that evolves by happiness or affection, as these may attack game machines or dealers if they sense any sort of unhappiness in their trainer, including mild forms stemming from particularly long losing streaks.

Also, wailord, onix and steelix, and any large or lethal-to-the-touch pokémon are barred, but this is less because of casino rules and more because releasing any of these pokémon indoors, within crowded places, is generally considered to be rude.

Most other pokémon are perfectly fine to keep with you, however.

As for your question concerning what blackjack owners may be given, many casinos employ telepaths to ensure that no one is even thinking about cheating, yes. However, other houses may prefer to use intimidation tactics by employing tyranitar, aggron, machamp, or other large pokémon capable of reaching over the table and breaking a player’s arm at a moment’s notice. You’ll especially see these pokémon in the Johto region, where many casinos are quite literally run by the yakuza.

Of course, cheating can sometimes be a difficult thing to prevent, even with these precautions, as some players can be tenacious and clever enough to figure out how to do so with practically any pokémon in existence. And on that note, if anyone is curious as to why I know any of this, it’s because a wise man once told me that one must know the customs thoroughly in order to break the rules, and I’m pretty sure the reason why the Goldenrod yakuza has not broken this wise man’s legs yet or banned him from their game corner is because they’re still thoroughly impressed that he had figured out how to cheat a card flip table using only a metapod.

My mother, however, has always been somewhat less impressed.

Hey Bill! Is there anyway that emotional based eeveelutions could transform into two different forms at the same time? What if say- during the night, your eevee has max friendship and love ? Could it turn into a Sylbreon?

As exciting as that might be, anonymous, unfortunately no. Evolution is a full-on transformation into a set form: there is no such thing as a hybrid evolution (in this sense, anyway—some people argue that slowbro and slowking are hybrid evolutions, but that’s another story) for the same reason hybrid hatchlings don’t exist. They’re two separate genetic entities, in other words, defined by very specific criteria. Think of it like a light switch, in other words, wherein the conditions for the state of being “on” are completely different from those of being “off.”

That having been said, an eevee in this scenario would evolve based on which emotion is stronger. If they feel generally happier, they’ll evolve into either espeon or umbreon, depending on the time of day. (Eevee will evolve into espeon if they’re exposed to any form of sunlight, including the little amount they get at sunrise and sunset, incidentally.) If they feel a stronger sense of belonging and physical comfort, they’ll be sylveon instead. Usually, one emotion is stronger than the other (either happiness for their trainer or pack or the feeling of being loved by their trainer or pack), but if the feeling is exactly equal, they’ll remain as eevee until one emotion outweighs the other.

Unless, of course, the eevee has chosen its particular form. If an eevee at equilibrium actually wants to be an umbreon instead of a sylveon or vice-versa, then they’ll will themselves towards that form.

This is, of course, also not taking into consideration environmental factors (such as proximity to a moss-covered rock), but seeing as you’ve specified emotion-based evolutions for eevee, I’ll keep it at this.