Category: Uncategorized

Hello, dear readers—

We’ve gotten a few more stories of pokémon interacting with technology, and while Bill is excited to see you all, it’s admittedly … a distraction.

Which is to say he may be constructing that survey.

While I try to convince Bill that he doesn’t have the time or funding (mostly funding) to launch yet another research project at the moment, please enjoy the stories you’ve sent in with the next few posts.

Thank you!

—LH

Okay, but surely you’re a little curious… —Bill

But a full-scale project, Bill? —LH

Is it too late to use “for science”? —Bill

Always. Nice try, though. —LH

Vulpix and Ninetales

bills-pokedex:

Vulpix
The Fox Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 37
Entry: A small, fox-like pokémon known for its beautiful tails, of which it has six when fully grown. While young, this pokémon’s fire abilities are mediocre at best, and its strongest move, Fire Blast, is roughly as potent as a charmeleon’s Flamethrower. However, in rare cases, vulpix may be born with the passive ability Drought, which allows it to subconsciously call down intense sunlight to strengthen any fire-type move used in its presence. Incidentally, this small, fox-like creature shares the aforementioned ability with the legendary behemoth of the earth, Groudon, a beast known for nearly destroying the world beneath the unrelenting sunlight it called forth. …Which is to say that the pokémon world is a bizarre and terrifying thing sometimes.

Ninetales
The Fox Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 38
Entry: The evolved form of vulpix, via exposure to fire stone. The legend that a ninetales will lay a thousand-year curse on you if you touch one of its tails is exactly that: a legend and therefore not true. What is true, however, is the fact that ninetales are generally sensitive about their tails and will set you on fire if you so much as accidentally brush up against one.

Vulpix (Alola form)
The Fox Pokémon
Type: Ice
Official Registration #: 37
Entry: This adorable cousin to the common vulpix, known by native Alolans as keokeo, is popular in the region not only for its cute appearance but also its practicality. When the weather is warmer than it likes, Alolan vulpix will fan its cloud-like tails and create ice crystals from them, effectively serving as a living air conditioner for its immediate surroundings. However, although it may be tempting to venture into its native habitat on the slopes of Mount Lanakila to catch one, a trainer should be warned that this is a dangerous idea, largely because of the vulpix themselves. Attempting to catch an Alolan vulpix may incur the wrath of other vulpix (which typically freeze intruders solid) but also the ninetales that always lurks near vulpix kits (which will freeze intruders solid before throwing them off the mountain). On the positive side, if your goal was to catch a vulpix in order to cool yourself off on hot Alolan summer afternoons, at least you’ll have that.

Ninetales (Alola form)
The Fox Pokémon
Type: Ice/Fairy
Official Registration #: 38
Entry: The evolved form of Alolan vulpix, by exposure to ice stone. This beautiful Alolan cousin to the common ninetales was once worshipped by native Alolans due to its rarity, ethereal nature, and tendency to dwell only on the peak of Mount Lanakila, the tallest and most sacred site in all of Alola. To this day, it acts as a guardian of Mount Lanakila by guiding wayward souls down the snowy slopes … purely because that’s the only way to get them to leave faster. In other words, this is yet another pokémon after the author’s own heart.

Hey Bill! I’m a lucario that goes by the name of Raine. I’m very well versed in com[uters, and I use them everyday. I have a few problems using keyboards as while I have extra fingers on my hands, they are very short and i’ve made at least a dozen tupos while typing this memo and i’ve probably missed some. – Raine

Hmm. Well, this certainly is something I’ll take into consideration while developing that keyboard. Thank you, Raine!

(I’m a little tempted to create a survey now. I simply have far too many questions to ask all of the pokémon reading out there…!)

Do you believe that certain species of Pokemon in the distant past may have given Live birth and simply evolved to be oviparous?

Actually, current fossil evidence suggests that pokémon had always been oviparous. Even mammalian ones seemed to have evolved from monotreme-like pokémon, rather than from ones that gave live birth.

Of course, this also begs the questions of how Mew gives birth and whether or not Mew is indeed the ancestor of all modern pokémon as is thought by some questionably scientific circles. Personally, I believe that if and only if the story concerning Mew is true, then it’s entirely possible that there was at least one pokémon that gave live birth, but by and large, all pokémon we know about, past and present, laid eggs.

My ditto loves to watch documentaries, to mimic stuff good! Since you were wondering. -Signed, Keyboard Ditto’s trainer

Now that is very adorable. If you’d like a recommendation for documentaries you can show your ditto, I highly recommend any of Professor Birch’s, which are available for free on his personal channel. Professor Oak also does regular Pokémon Talks, although these are always filmed in his lab, whereas Birch films pokémon in the wild. (Both are very informative for a trainer, however!)

The Geodude Line

bills-pokedex:

Geodude
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 74
Entry: A stony pokémon native to mountainous areas, particularly those of the Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh regions. At rest, geodude look exactly like ordinary boulders, to the point where it’s not uncommon for even the most careful hikers to trip over them. It should be noted that not only will geodude become violently angry if you trip over them or their brethren, but also, geodude are extremely common pokémon to the aforementioned mountainous regions. To any trainers currently journeying through the mountains, the author wishes you godspeed.

Graveler
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 75
Entry: The evolved form of geodude, by battle experience. Wild graveler subsist entirely on rocks. It will consume at least a ton of these on a daily basis, usually while on the move from the peak of its native mountains to the base and back again. Unfortunately, graveler are not particularly careful pokémon, and they, too, have difficulty distinguishing ordinary rocks from the surrounding geodude. On the positive side, graveler are capable of managing geodude populations singlehandedly, so at the very least, geodude overpopulation has never been nor will ever be an issue to the human race.

Golem
The Megaton Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 76
Entry: The evolved form of graveler, via trading. This boulder-like pokémon’s shell is so hard it can withstand high-powered blasts, including the ones it generates itself. For this reason, it prefers traveling in this manner, propelling itself from mountainside to mountainside through the force generated by Explosion. A golem falling from the sky is not an uncommon occurrence in the harsh environment of the Johtonian mountains, so to any trainers currently journeying through that particular region, the author wishes you godspeed especially.

Geodude (Alola form)
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Electric
Official Registration #: 74
Entry: A rock-like pokémon native to the rugged, desert-like terrains of Ula’ula Island. If you accidentally step on an Alolan geodude sleeping on the ground, you’ll hear a crunching sound and feel a shock ripple through your entire body. Followed by, of course, something considerably worse, as you would have stepped on a live geodude.

Graveler (Alola form)
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Electric
Official Registration #: 75
Entry: The evolved form of Alolan geodude, by battle experience. When two Alolan graveler fight each other, it fills their surroundings with flashes of light and sound. Some people call this display the “fireworks of the earth.” Other, far more sensible people call it “oh gods oh gods we’re all going to die.”

Golem (Alola form)
The Megaton Pokémon
Type: Rock/Electric
Official Registration #: 76
Entry: The evolved form of Alolan graveler, via trading. An ornery pokémon, the Alolan golem is known to fire boulders charged with electricity to drive intruders on its territory away. If no boulders in its general vicinity can be found, it may switch to Alolan geodude. Either way, no pokémon says “[EXPLETIVE DELETED] you” to flying-types and vulnerable sacks of meat (such as and especially humans) more enthusiastically than the Alolan golem, apparently.