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tirien66 replied to your post “Meditite and Medicham”

better yet, make a extra pair of mechanical arms. im sure it would probably end with less disaster than the teleporter.

LH: Please don’t give Bill ideas. He’s read enough Spinarakman comics to know about “Doc Octillery,” but he hasn’t read enough, apparently, to know why emulating this character is a terrible idea.

The only reason why I know anything about this is because I’ve just had to destroy preliminary blueprints and several pages of rough essays on the plausibility of comic book science.

On the positive side, Lanette is now a little more open to my ideas concerning recreating the Steel Man suit. —Bill

Why can’t you just settle for recreating Captain Unova’s shield like most comic book fans? —LH

Wait. Captain Unova’s shield is bulletproof. Don’t make that. —LH

Too late! —Bill

Meditite and Medicham

bills-pokedex:

Meditite
The Meditate Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Psychic
Official Registration #: 307
Entry: In order to heighten its spiritual and physical strength, this monkey-like pokémon undergoes rigorous training in mountainous areas. This training involves extreme methods such as meditating for hours and consuming only one berry a day. It should be noted that this sort of exercise is extremely taxing on the body and should not be undertaken by any unprepared human trainers seeking to attain enlightenment alongside their meditite partners.

Are you speaking from experience, Bill? Because to be fair, there’s a difference between this and forgoing basic physical needs to write your senior thesis. —LH

What difference would that be? —Bill

Medicham
The Meditate Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Psychic
Official Registration #: 308
Entry: The evolved form of meditite, by battle experience. Through years of hardcore meditation and extended periods of near starvation, this pokémon is able to develop both telekinetic and aura-viewing powers. It is said that the closer it gets to spiritual enlightenment by denying itself earthly pleasures—including food—the easier it is for a medicham to view auras in the form of brilliantly colored lights.

Oh, much like you what you were experiencing by the end of finals week. I stand corrected. —LH

At least I passed. —Bill

According to our proctors, yes. According to the ER physician, no. —LH

Mega Medicham
The Meditate Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Psychic
Official Registration #: 308+
Entry: The advanced form of medicham, via medichamite. Thanks to the boost in power from mega evolution, combined with its years of intense training, mega medicham is able to achieve a form that grants it a set of spectral hands. These hands grow increasingly more corporeal the more meditation and training the medicham has had, until it gains at least two sets of perfectly functioning hands with which to fight or, well, work. That is to say, mega medicham is one of the few pokémon that become more efficient with a combination of sleep deprivation and lack of self-care, which is a feat that the author envies just a little.

If it makes you feel any better, the reason why Brigette and I dragged you to the hospital that one time was because you were so sleep-deprived you thought you actually had more than one set of hands… —LH

Fair point. But now that I think about it, I could probably achieve the same results as a mega medicham through more practical methods. —Bill

I really hope you’re not about to suggest something involving your teleporter and a sample of medicham DNA. —LH

I was actually thinking of machamp DNA, but if you’re going to be like that about it… —Bill

Hello. I was wondering? Has there been any Reliable way to identify a Zorua in Human Form if they don’t speak? I’m asking for a friend who’s starting his journey soon.

Luckily for the zorua, no. That is to say, the easiest method is to look closely at someone for any signs of zorua-like features. Maybe it’s red-tipped black hair (that naturally grows that way) or bright red fingers and toes. Maybe their ears or teeth are pointed, or maybe they forgot to disguise their tails. Or maybe they act a little fox-like (running on all fours, eating or drinking by plunging their faces in a dish, or so forth).

However, just because a method is easy doesn’t make it reliable. Experienced or well-trained zorua, especially those on the brink of evolution, are often much better at disguising themselves than younger zorua, and thus, they’re nearly impossible to detect unless you have a pokémon capable of seeing through illusions (such as those with Foresight) or a device specially made for such a purpose.

(Don’t worry, anonymous. Your secret should be safe.)

Poipole and Naganadel

Poipole
The Poison Pin Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 803
Entry: One of the Ultra Beasts, or strange pokémon that had appeared from another dimension. A native to a dimension populated by humans, poipole is the only Ultra Beast known to be popular enough to be used as a starter pokémon within its world, much like pikachu. It is also as capricious and mischievous as it is cute, and it’s known for attacking innocent researchers who approach it purely out of curiosity … also much like pikachu.

Bill … what did you do to pikachu? —LH

It was a pikachu, and literally nothing! —Bill

Somehow, I find that hard to believe… —LH

Naganadel
The Poison Pin Pokémon
Type: Poison/Dragon
Official Registration #: 804
Entry: One of the Ultra Beasts, or strange pokémon that had appeared from another dimension. Also the evolved form of poipole, by battle experience, if the subject knows Dragon Pulse. This massive, syringe-like dragon is known for storing gallons of toxic, highly adhesive fluids in its bulbous torso and spraying it from its giant stinger as a self-defense mechanism. The author would make a joke about any of this, but frankly, he’s above that.

Exeggcute and Exeggutor

bills-pokedex:

Exeggcute
The Egg Pokémon
Type: Grass/Psychic
Official Registration #: 102
Entry: An egg-like pokémon gifted with incredible telekinetic and telepathic powers. When one egg is separated from the bunch, it can use these wondrous abilities to locate and rejoin its group. Of course, given the fact that this means each egg clearly demonstrates autonomy, one must ask why researchers never classify an individual exeggcute component as being its own pokémon. And the answer, dear reader, is pokémon is wonderful, aren’t they?

Exeggutor
The Coconut Pokémon
Type: Grass/Psychic
Official Registration #: 103
Entry: The evolved form of exeggcute, by exposure to leaf stone. This palm tree-like pokémon originated in the tropics, and much of its behavior reflects this. It perks up most during sunny weather, when it’s able to collect sunlight in its coconut heads and grow. Such growth tends to be steady everywhere but Alola, where the abundant sun causes the energy somehow mutates exeggutor into long-necked dragon-type creatures. One may be wondering how it gains the dragon-type of all possible elements, never mind why it mutates in the region of Alola only, but the answer to this, dear reader, is that pokémon are indeed wonderful, majestic beings.

Exeggutor (Alola form)
The Coconut Pokémon
Type: Grass/Dragon
Official Registration #: 103
Entry: The evolved form of exeggcute, by exposure to leaf stone within the region of Alola. It’s said that exposure to the bright Alolan sun allows this pokémon to evolve into its true form, the towering, dragon-type exeggutor. This, of course, implies that the exeggcute family originated in Alola and that migration to other, less suitable environments have stunted exeggutor’s growth and forced it to adopt an entirely different skillset to survive. While this is generally accepted as true, the actual mystery lies in how exeggcute migrated in the first place. As of this writing, leading scientists support one main theory: that they were carried elsewhere by pairs of swellow using strands of creeper held under the dorsal guiding feathers.

Hey Bill! A few days ago, my Sylveon got loose, long story short, he’s home safe now, but one of his ribbons got scratched and now it has a nasty infection. I took him to see my local Nurse Joy, and she said it would be best to amputate the infected area, but I’m afraid this will affect his battling and contest performances. Should I go through with it?

It’s important to remember that your sylveon’s health is more important than his performance, anonymous.

That having been said, I would recommend getting a second opinion as quickly as possible. Modern medicine has reduced our need for amputation considerably; it’s only ever used as a last resort (namely, if the limb is completely unsalvagable due to extreme damage). Most infections from minor injuries can easily be handled with antibiotics.

However, you should act quickly, and if amputation really is your only option, put your sylveon’s well being first. With the right physical therapy and training, you can work with a disability and figure out how to help your sylveon succeed despite his amputated ribbon. At the risk of putting it too bluntly, you can’t do the same if he’s dead.

Buneary and Lopunny

bills-pokedex:

Buneary
The Rabbit Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 427
Entry: A foot-tall, rabbit-like pokémon native to temperate forests. It’s easy to determine the mood of a buneary by its body language, particularly regarding its ears. If its ears are relaxed and extended (particularly if this is coupled with a “flop,” or an act in which the buneary dramatically flips onto its side), then the buneary feels safe, loved, and relaxed, and it’s fine to engage with it. If, however, the buneary is tense, drawing its entire body up into a ball, and curling its ears, then it feels threatened, and a human should approach with caution. Certainly, it may seem odd that the author would advise caution when approaching anything so small and adorable, but it’s worth it to note that buneary are capable of extending their ears in lightning-fast punches capable of shattering boulders … and that the human nose and jaw are far, far less resilient than a boulder.

Lopunny
The Rabbit Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 428
Entry: The evolved form of buneary, as a result of a heightened sense of happiness. This tall, slender rabbit pokémon has delicate, sensitive ears and long, powerful legs. If one touches their ears, lopunny will lash out with strong kicks. Additionally, these pokémon are cautious to the extreme, and they will often hide behind their long, elegant ears when they sense danger. Between the length of their legs and the sensuous poses they need to strike in order to hide themselves behind their ears, the author would like to take this particular moment to remind his readers that lopunny are rabbit-like pokémon and that if this doesn’t change the thought processes of those of you who know who they are, the author would prefer it if you didn’t tell him.

Mega Lopunny
The Rabbit Pokémon
Type: Normal/Fighting
Official Registration #: 428+
Entry: The advanced form of lopunny, via lopunnite. Mega evolution doesn’t just imbue lopunny with an affinity for the fighting element; it also causes lopunny’s personality to change drastically. Whereas lopunny’s base form tends to be shy and docile unless cornered, mega lopunny is extremely combative and aggressive, known for beating any opponent within reach with either its long, whip-like ears or its equally long, extremely strong legs. There are a number of theories as to why mega evolution causes lopunny’s personality to change in this manner, but frankly, the author is particularly fond of the one that has to do with the entry for its base form listed above.

Riolu and Lucario

bills-pokedex:

Riolu
The Emanation Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 447
Entry: Riolu have the ability to read the emotions of others as well as communicate its own emotions via aura. Yet it is a fighting-type, the single most likely type to engage in physical combat and thus the most likely type to endure great physical injury. For this reason, the riolu’s empathic abilities may be among the most counterproductive powers among the pokémon kingdom. However, at the very least, it should be a comfort for riolu trainers to know that the state will typically pay for any service a Nurse Joy provides, including mental counseling as a result of being in close proximity to a fighting-type that translates its pain into horrific light patterns.

Lucario
The Aura Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Steel
Official Registration #: 448
Entry: The evolved form of riolu, in response to both levels of sunlight and closeness with its trainer. Well-trained lucario have the abilities to sense the aura of all living things, understand human speech, read the thoughts and emotions of those whose auras they sense, channel aura into projectiles and weapons, execute extraordinary feats of physical prowess, and roll over and play dead for biscuits. This is why lucario are the second most popular pokémon on any given video sharing website, next to the members of the skitty line.

Mega Lucario
The Aura Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Steel
Official Registration #: 448+
Entry: The advanced form of lucario, via lucarionite. Upon mega evolution, lucario’s aura-based powers increase in potency. In proportion to this, this pokémon’s aura-sensing appendages on either side of its head increase in length, separate, and move seemingly at will in ways that many people liken to tentacles. Consequently, with the combination of its tentacle-like, aura-sensing appendages and its bipedal, dog-like form, mega lucario has become popular in many internet-based fan circles … namely because it’s even more amusing when it rolls over and plays dead for biscuits. (Honestly, readers, what were you thinking I was referring to?)

Which Pokémon do you think would be good for a treasure hunting scuba diver? I can’t swim or anything so it’s not for me, but I’m interested in what you’d think. Personally I think Lanturn could help because of the light they give. Suicune could purify the water, but of course, catching legends is morally and ethically and generally Not Good.

Lanturn is indeed an excellent choice, particularly if trained to light up when it finds something. Because its light is so intense, it’s possible to use a team of lanturn to minimize the amount of time a human needs to dive (or fish) by having them do all the hunting and signal to the surface when they find something. Starmie can be used for the same purpose, but in both cases, be sure that their abilities aren’t Illuminate. The last thing you want is to attract more pokémon during their hunt.

Alternatively, strangely enough, magikarp might be handy in this case. Most water-dwelling pokémon leave them alone (either because they aren’t worthy prey or because they often evolve into gyarados mid-hunt), and magikarp are hardy enough to survive in the roughest territory—including anywhere treasure might be.

If your treasure-hunting friend is interested in accompanying their pokémon on a dive, use literally any pokémon that can use Dive. Mantine tend to be popular in Johto for this, as are dewgong and many starters. You may also wish to consider something capable of battling (such as bruxish or gyarados) to protect yourself from wild water pokémon.

Legendaries, of course, aren’t particularly recommended, not because they shouldn’t be caught but instead because many of them possess abilities that will be useless for treasure hunting at best. At worst, they might actually inadvertently kill you.