Any video games you really like to play, Bill?

Bill: Admittedly, unlike Molayne, I haven’t quite figured out how to balance work and gaming—which is to say, after work, social media, and basic self care, I don’t really have much time to play video games.

Still, I find sim games like Groundcraft (both alone and with others) and Minior Valley very soothing, as is Pokémon Crossing. I also like a few MMO and co-op games like Battlecraft (which is how Lanette and I met Molayne, actually) and Overheat, but only if Lanette and/or Molayne are also playing. I’m the one who usually mains healers, incidentally, largely because Molayne plays tanks, Sophocles (who is always online alongside Molayne) is very fond of rogues and stealth-based characters, and Lanette plays anything that can kill an entire map full of enemies the fastest. Sometimes Bebe joins us so we can have parties of five; she and Molayne take turns tanking.

I also occasionally play Don’t Faint with Bebe, but I’ve been barred from ever using the one character who starts off with a lighter because I “wouldn’t take the game seriously.”

Meaning I might have burned down the forest we set up camp in.

Repeatedly.

hiphoppip replied to your post “Hi, Bill. I’ve heard that some pokemon have their origins talked about…”

Damn, how strong are those eggs? To survive being dropped from any height takes good strength and impact distribution! Have we made hardhats out of those shells yet?

Oh, don’t worry. They’re only as thick and durable as coconuts, really, so they’re not exactly indestructible (or recommended as materials to make hard hats). If a particularly tall Alolan exeggutor attempted to drop one of its eggs, then it would very likely break, so the mother may need assistance or some coaxing to bend over a bit.

Hi, Bill. I’ve heard that some pokemon have their origins talked about as coming from non-egg sources, sometimes even in the pokedex, but these pokemon can still produce eggs and have offspring of the same species that way. Is it true that, for example, a phantump is the spirit of a dead child, or is it all hogwash?

Well, I’d hesitate to call it hogwash because I don’t want to offend Kaloseans.

But yes, it’s very unlikely that phantump are the lost souls of dead children. The same can be said for all ghost-types, actually.

Now, on the other hand, the thing about exeggutor dropping a “head” and having it grow into another exeggcute is actually true. Sort of. Those really are eggs, but they’re virtually indistinguishable from an exeggutor head. And yes, the exeggutor’s reproductive system is located in the head region, not lower down.

For those of you who could have gone your whole lives not knowing the alien mechanics of exeggutor reproduction … you’re welcome.

Bill I’ve got an odd problem. My Lucario and Greninja seem to be fighting for my Gardevoir’s attention despite none of them being in the same egg group?

Get the gardevoir a mate of her choosing. That usually works.

In all seriousness, this sometimes happens with male pokémon, and there are several ways you can resolve this. You can get the gardevoir a mate as noted above, you can neuter your lucario and greninja (although this can be trickier for the latter), you can mediate, or you can simply train your pokémon to refocus their anger towards more a productive means (such as battling) while also teaching them to resolve their differences peacefully. The most extreme solution is to get a mate for everyone, as not only does this double the size of your team and thus double its needs, but also, this could encourage them to, ah, set aside their differences, so to speak. Which could be worse. So only use this method if the above several don’t seem to resolve things, anonymous.

You may be wondering why I’m not addressing the egg group issue. The truth is, simply, egg groups only refer to the logistics of both the act of mating and the production of a viable egg. Pokémon themselves, at the risk of putting things crudely, don’t care about group boundaries and may attempt to copulate with anything that they consider to be an attractive pokémon.

You’re welcome.

Why are some eeveelutions more canine, some more feline, some more vulpine, etc.? It’s certainly more interesting than having them all be the same but recolored for type, but why did nature do that one?

In most cases, it’s a product of adaptive evolution. Each eeveelution possesses the traits it has because those better equip it for the specific niche it serves. For example, the more “feline” vaporeon looks the way it does because it’s meant to have a certain sense of agility as it glides through the water and chases after fish. By contrast, the more “canine” jolteon possesses dog-like traits because their hunting-style is more dog-like (and also because their thinner muzzle makes it easier for them to sniff out and dig out the eggs that form a staple of their diets). Additionally, the more “vulpine” flareon actually looks the way it does for a combination of both: as it hunts for small rodents on its own, it needs both agility and sharper senses. That and its puffier coat, which some say also make it look vulpine, is better at keeping its body from overheating, as strange as that is to say. 

Alternatively, in certain cases, certain traits were simply bred into the species—meaning, breeders carefully controlled the parentage of eevee to ensure that they possess certain traits upon evolution, as in the case of the more cat-like espeon, the more dog-and-rabbit-like sylveon, and the more fox-like umbreon. (Of course, it’s worth it to note that fox-like adaptations have always benefited umbreon in the wild as well, so breeders didn’t exactly have to do much to get a more vulpine umbreon.)

As for leafeon and glaceon, they’re a bit of both too. They’re both vulpine, yes, but leafeon was bred to be that way, whereas glaceon essentially adapted to be that way on its own (as their fox-like characteristics make it easier for them to fish).

Hello Mister Bill! I’m the anon from quite a while ago with the problem hugging my affectionate Gengar, Noir. I’m happy to say that I’ve built up enough of a tolerance to hug him for a whole three minutes at a time now! What you suggested with the pecha extract worked great, so from the bottom of our hearts, me and Noir thank you for your help!

You’re very welcome, anonymous! Glad it helped and that you’re able to a hug a very deserving pokémon.

My Mimikyu, Sprite, was recently prescribed glasses by our local Nurse Joy, but I’m having some trouble convincing her to wear them properly. She wants to wear them over the eyes she’s drawn on her costume, not her actual eyes, even though she keeps bumping into things without them. She won’t wear them under her costume either, I’ve tried but she’s not having any of it. What do I do? I just want her to be able to see where she’s going properly but she’s being very stubborn. Help?

One thing you can do is get her a pair of costume glasses for her, well, costume. If you give her a pair that she considers to be more fun or stylish than her actual glasses, she may be more willing to wear her prescription glasses over her actual eyes. Additionally, she may be more accepting if you gave her costume glasses and her actual eyes contact lenses meant for pokémon (if she can wear them). This way, your mimikyu will get the corrective lenses she needs, while her costume will get the frames she wants to give it. It’s all about appearance, really. Mimikyu generally identify as their costumes, so if you need to give a mimikyu anything it’s supposed to wear on its actual body, you need to make sure you have a second or “cuter” version of it for the costume as well. (Hold items, luckily, can simply be worn on the costume and still take effect. Glasses, of course, are a different story.)

As a final note, if you have her wear contacts and she’s a battle-ready mimikyu, be sure to wet her eyes with eyedrops between each match to prevent her contacts from popping out mid-battle. Just as a tip.

Best of luck!