Bill. Buddy. Isn’t the moonblast thing is illegal?

Technically, yes. Also technically, so is what the suitor in question tried to do.

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That was pretty much the entire story. He was a terrible human being; I used Moonblast to politely ask him to keep his hands to himself, get off my property, and honor Misty’s wish to not be contacted again unless he would like me to track him down and throw him into the sea.

Fun fact: “Throw one into the sea” is Goldenrod slang for ruining a person’s future prospects.

And also literally throwing a person into the sea.

I meant both.

Hey bill, there’s rumors that your front yard is a famous date spot for local teens from cerulean city, some even say that gym leader misty was seen there with someone, have you noticed this or has it caused any problems for you?

I’ve noticed.

Much of the time, I really try to ignore the happy couples. Luckily, they tend to stay away from my home and garden, likely to avoid being watched, and those ones often quickly realize that the beach is full of krabby that are rather intolerant to any human who isn’t me. However, yes, there are a few instances now and then of bolder teens who seem to think I care about their exploits, and only then is it really a bother. (I’ve had to put a fence around said garden to safeguard my, er, collection of herbs. It and my venusaur have been highly effective of keeping trespassers off my property for the most part.)

Just about the only case I actually do look out for is Misty herself, partly to discourage her from advertising my front yard as a romantic getaway and partly because she has the absolute worst taste in men, and I frankly worry about her sometimes. (To make a very long story short, it’s made our friendship quite fascinating. We meet for coffee once a month to talk about men and complain about our respective sisters. All because I had my clefairy use Moonblast on a particularly terrible suitor.)

You’re not human if you don’t find Steven Stone attractive.

One could argue that you don’t have to be fully human to find Steven attractive. —LH

Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?! —Bill

You know, contrary to popular rumor, the cell separation system was a complete success. —Bill

…that was not the part I should have objected to, was it? —Bill

I wasn’t implying anything about you, but go on. I’m sure you can fit more of your foot into your own mouth for our readers. —LH

Bill, I don’t want to be the one to ask this, but I lost the coin toss. Why… Why does Nuzleaf have/appear to have nipples. (I assumed that since a) it’s at least partly grass type and b) it hatches from an egg, they’re not… they’re not actually. Y’know.)

Those are wood knots. Perfectly natural. You may even notice that no two nuzleaf wood knots are alike if you lean in and look close enough … which understandably, not many people would want to do. Largely to avoid being on the receiving end of a Bullet Seed.