Tag: about the author

Hey Bill! Instinct, Mystic, or Valor?

Ah, are you referring to Professor Willow and his assistants’ unconventional research techniques? If so, it’s a fascinating subject. Professor Willow must be a wonderful mentor, allowing his students to split up and research what excites their passions the most.

Among them, I must say it’s difficult to choose. Of the three, I admit I’m less interested in Candela’s research, not that her work is at all uninteresting. It’s simply focused more on the mechanics of battling and training, which I also admit I’m not in the least bit adept at.

Of the remaining two assistants, in theory, I would agree the most with Blanche, who in turn believes in understanding pokémon through wisdom and knowledge. That is the core essence of what it means to be a researcher, so it’s difficult to say I disagree.

On the other hand, having spoken with Spark, it’s difficult to disagree with him in practice. After all, not only are his philosophies focused on seeing the inherent talents of every pokémon, but also, Spark himself is rather … persuasive, to put it in a way.

Bill has a type. It’s “literally anyone who’s enthusiastic about pokémon.” —LH

If you’re implying what I think you’re implying, I respect Spark on a strictly professional level. —Bill

Which is why whenever he’s around, you make the exact same face as you do whenever someone mentions that girl in the Goldenrod Flower Shop. —LH

Yes! It’s a face of respect! —Bill

bird-nerd-the-third mentioned you in a post

@ bills-pokedex Just wondering… who’s that brown-haired fellow and why does he look like you so much?

Ah yes, I do believe that would be Todd Snap, the world-famous pokémon photographer. I’ve always wanted to meet the fellow. He’s managed to photograph some of the rarest pokémon in the world, including both legendaries and those thought to have been extinct. It would be incredible to ask him what it was like to see such incredible pokémon!

Odd that these photos would surface of him, though. They’re taken at such odd angles that they can’t simply be candids.

In any case, I don’t entirely see the resemblance, but I do admit that certain hairstyles were very fashionable in Johto a few years ago. Perhaps he has also been acquainted with the Haircut Brothers of Goldenrod City?

Have you already visited unova?

I have indeed. Several times, actually—first to select a system administrator and numerous times thereafter to assist Amanita. I must admit that while I am very fond of the regional administrator, Unovan culture goes against my largely Kantonian sensibilities. Culture is one of the few points other natives of my home region and I disagree upon. Johtonians find Unovan culture highly amusing. I find it a bit too much for my liking.

For example, why must all of you put cheese or milk in literally everything? How on Earth is milk even a preservative? Honestly.

I suppose to be fair, at the very least, Unovans understand the concept of lactose intolerance, and they do indeed provide alternatives for those who cannot or would rather not consume dairy. Kaloseans do not grasp this same concept, and it seems that the basis of their entire cuisine is a horrifying mixture of butter and cream. This is part of the reason why, despite the fact that eevee are native to the region, I have visited that particular region a grand total of once and why if any official business needs to be done there, it’s usually performed by my editor instead. She seems to like milk and Kalosean cuisine, but I forgive her for this.

Does anyone ever call you Billbo Baggins? No really, I’m legitimately curious.

Some people did. I can’t imagine why.

The pun aside, it may have something to do with the fact that you were short and prone to running around the field barefoot during your undergraduate years. —LH

Of course I was short. I was twelve. And don’t tell me it wasn’t useful to go about barefoot. Pokémon never wear shoes! —Bill

…I’m going to pretend that statement really did make about as much sense as you think it did. —LH

Are you planning on visting the Alola region? If so, what do you hope to discover there?

Absolutely, anonymous! The Alola Pokémon League has requested its own storage system, so as part of that, it’s my duty to evaluate locations for a base of operations, set up and test equipment, and select and acclimate an administrator.

Of course, I’m more than happy to go. Seeing new regions full of pokémon I’ve never met is always quite exciting! Most of all, though, I would love to see if the regional professors have discovered any new eevee evolutions. The environment of Alola is sure to be just unique enough to trigger something new. I’m sure of it!

No one break his heart. —LH

Does the author desire to know about the effects of dream smoke firsthand, though?

For science, yes.

Unfortunately for him, we have strict rules about what he can and can’t do for science. Namely, if he considers doing something for science, chances are very good that he isn’t actually allowed to do it. Taking mind-altering substances is somewhere on that list. —LH

Okay, but what if I did it out of personal curiosity and not science? —Bill

… That is still science, Bill. —LH

I once read somewhere that long ago, people and Pokémon could marry. Is this true? What are your thoughts?

I’m afraid it’s merely a legend, anonymous. There aren’t any solid records of this actually happening.

As for my opinion concerning it, my explanation of poképhilia in modern times aside, it would certainly be interesting. I say “interesting” because it could indicate one of three things:

1. Pokémon were far more intelligent then than they are now and were capable of both communicating and understanding humans fully.

2. Pokémon and humans were far, far more alike than they are now (which itself could imply that humans had been a sort of pokémon or very close relatives to them before evolving away from that state).

3. This says more about humans and human morality than about pokémon.

Either way, the point is, it would be either anthropologically or ethologically fascinating to study.

What is your opinion on Human/Pokémon relationships (meaning romantic and.. everything that comes with it)?

Well, considering the fact that it’s both illegal and taboo within virtually every country and culture on this planet, I don’t particularly condone it.

However, I do admit it’s a subject that deserves more discussion than that.

To play devil’s advocate, one of the issues brought up against poképhilia is the idea that pokémon can’t truly give consent. While this is true for many of the more animalistic pokémon, humanoid pokémon and those that possess superior intelligence such as jynx, alakazam, froslass, and so forth are all perfectly capable of comprehending the human concepts of love, sexuality, and communication and can therefore actually give consent if they wanted to.

That having been said, on the other hand, there are several unfortunate implications involved with such a relationship, including and mainly the fact that you technically do own your pokémon. I don’t particularly like to phrase it as such, but the human-pokémon relationship is that of master and pet. Thus, although a pokémon can clearly give a form of consent, it’s questionable as to whether it actually is full consent or instead a byproduct of that default relationship, as instilled by the poké ball.

Furthermore, pokémon possess far different concepts of love and sexuality for themselves than humans do. It should be kept in mind that as sapient and intelligent some pokémon seem to be, they are still of a different species and culture than our own. Thus, while some pokémon may understand what love and sexuality is to us, how that applies to them is completely different.

Lastly, there are simply biological differences. Many pokémon, such as alakazam actually, possess powers that could very well kill a human if the user loses control (such as during moments of excitement). And even then, even if a pokémon seems like it would be completely safe to have … a relationship with, some pokémon actually possess rather dangerous organs with which to mate. For example, did you know that a male golduck possesses a corkscrew [CENSORED] that is capable of [CENSORED] at possibly the highest velocity for [CENSORED—REALLY BILL?!]?

In short, in my personal opinion, it’s best to maintain a strictly platonic relationship with a pokémon. This is the best way to ensure that both sides are happy and that the human, at the end of the day, does not end up dead.