Hey Bill, I have a problem with my Absol, she was my starter and is a wonderful sweetie. Anyway, while in a battle she mega evolved, but a while later in the same fight she just, devolved. She looked alot more tired than usual, she’s incredibly lethargic, and her mega stone shattered. Should I just remove her from battles until she’s feeling better, or take it to Nurse Joy? Is this a sign of old age, or did she just push herself a bit too hard?

Given the fact that her mega stone shattered, that’s definitely a sign that she’s pushed herself too hard. Taking her out of rotation (and perhaps listing her temporarily as a companion instead of a battle-ready pokémon) would be an excellent idea. Give her some time to rest. Then, when she’s more up for it, wean her slowly back into battling. Treat this as you would a physical injury and urge her not to push too hard to get back onto the battlefield.

Best of luck with this, by the way, and may she get well soon.

Dear LH, do you know anything about what an Absol is judged on in the Kennel Club shows or if i can even get my Absol into said Show as an Absol Aficionado? Also, I need some pointers on Ponyta/Rapidash Care and Biology to disabuse a niece of mine of her belief of some of the stuff she watches in My Little Ponyta. downside of living with pokemon: Cartoons are harder to prove as impossible.

Oh! Yes! Canine pokémon shows judge absol and all other participants on a list of criteria based on ideals of each species and breed. Generally speaking, that means things like the quality of the pelt, balance, height, weight, teeth and strength of bite, the way the tail arches, etc. Absol are judged on these too, as well as a few extra criteria: the quality/strength/curve of the horn and the thickness and sharpness of the claws. Also, there’s usually a second round where participants are tested for obedience and the strength of basic attacks. In all, canine shows are very much like pokémon contests, but they focus more on the natural qualities and capabilities of each pokémon, rather than advanced style or strength.

Also, for the most part, most shows will consider absol to be canine pokémon as well, but there are a few that think of them as too different to count. It’s worth it to look at the rules for each show you’re interested in, although the largest ones (including the Camphrier Kennel Club, probably the most famous) will accept absol entrants.


Well, the important thing to know about ponyta and rapidash is that they don’t live indoors, contrary to what the cartoon will have you believe. They’re field pokémon, so therefore, a trainer should give them plenty of space to roam and exercise. A field filled with wild grass would work best. Contrary to popular belief, neither ponyta nor rapidash would set a grassy field on fire so long as they’re calm; rather, that’s what they eat and relieve themselves in, so in all, a large, grassy field is just home for them.

Of course, they can also live in a stable for short periods of time, and it’s a good idea to have one ready for them during rainy or other inclement weather. These stables should have stalls large enough for a rapidash to move comfortably from side to side—rapidash, not ponyta, because you never know if you’ll have an evolution on your hands. These stalls should be cleaned daily and stocked with fresh water and food (fodder, or hay and oats—rarely carrots and apples and never sugar cubes because these are all loaded with sugar that can disrupt the bacterial ecosystem of their digestive tracts). Also, if the weather is cold, give your ponyta or rapidash a blanket to stay warm. So no, they don’t live in libraries or wear dresses either. They do wear shoes, of course, but not the sort you see in the cartoon. They’re simply those bands of metal that a human needs to fix onto a horse’s hoof. (They also require daily maintenance.)

Ponyta and rapidash don’t have wings, so they pegasus type of ponyta unfortunately don’t exist. As for the unicorn type, those do in a way, as rapidash technically has a horn, but it can’t simply perform any kind of magic. It’s more that they can shoot beams of concentrated light, and even then, only if you use the TM system. Their fire attacks, on the other hand, actually come from the mouth because the fire gland for ponyta and rapidash is located in the throat (as it is for most fire-types), not the horn. Really, the horn of a rapidash is used more for impaling or jabbing than channeling attacks, so it’s much less … glittery than you would see in the show.

I know. It’s not as exciting as multicolored emissaries of friendship and love, but ponyta and rapidash are easy-going pokémon in their own right. While I wouldn’t recommend getting her a ponyta if she’s only seen the cartoon, maybe having her learn more about them through children’s books or by seeing one in person on a farm or at a breeding center might help her understand what real ponies are like. One of the great things about cartoons like My Little Ponyta is that they’re often the first step for young girls to gain an interest in pokémon; it’s just that they need the right materials and experiences to take the next step of learning what those pokémon are really like.

But if it makes things any easier, you can tell her that ponyta and rapidash do make wonderful friends.

Hey bill. My folks decided i needed to learn responsibility while living on my own, and got me an Absol cub from a Breeder. What can you tell me about absol care in general and if there’re any Shows i can enter her in in the American regions? are there any pokemon i should Avoid letting my absol interact with for her own safety?

Allow me to start with the easiest question here: There are quite a few that you could try, including ones for canine pokémon (which absol is considered to be), for dark-types, for pokémon in general … you would really have to be more specific about where in the United States you’d like to go and what sorts of shows you’re considering.

If you mean shows as in contests (that is, you’re considering becoming a coordinator), each region actually has its own circuit, but many of these are much smaller than the ones you would find here in Japan. The two biggest circuits, that of Unova in the northeast corner of the United States and Cielo in the southwest, tend to be difficult to get into and maintain a place in for three reasons. First, it’s extremely competitive, as Americans tend to be rather vicious when placed in competition with each other. Second, there is a preliminary audition for both regions before you enter the circuit proper. This is because of the third reason: contests in the United States are filmed and treated much like any other sort of reality television. For this reason, American organizers tend to be particular about who gets to be on stage in the first place.

Of the two, though, the Unovan contest circuit tends to be easier to get into because there’s a little less competition. While the Cielo contests have no real rivals (aside from the film industry itself), the Unova contests are often overshadowed by pokémon musicals.

On that note, the second easiest question to answer: your absol will likely get along with practically any pokémon. When putting together a team, it’s more important to pay attention to the pokémon as an individual, rather than its species. Occasionally, you may have to handle a pokémon with type biases or known rivalries (obviously, never stick a zangoose with a seviper or a red basculin with a blue), but these are rare occasions. Otherwise, you’d be surprised what can get along with what.

Finally, the third easiest: care.

To start things off, it’s a myth that all dark-types are nocturnal. Absol especially are active in the day or whenever their trainer is. This is because their danger sense compels them to be awake and alert whenever their “charges” are. (Sometimes, that charge is an entire village. Other times, it’s just their trainer.) With that in mind, absol can sleep pretty much anywhere, and they often prefer a hard floor to a bed. You’re welcome to provide one, as well as anything to make your absol more comfortable, but all it will really need is a safe place to sleep indoors.

Grooming is likely the most challenging aspect of owning an absol (other than, obviously, dealing with its precognitive abilities), as it not only has thick fur but also a horn that needs to be well-maintained. Brush your absol daily, and be sure to wash it at least once a month with shampoo designed for dog-like pokémon. (It’s okay to wash your absol between your regular session if it gets into something particularly unpleasant.) Be sure to dry your absol off thoroughly, especially around its mane; it can grow mold if you’re not careful. 

When it comes to horn care, your absol will often prefer to maintain its sharpness by grinding it on a rock, so be sure to provide one outside. Brick or a scratching post (normally designed for cat-like pokémon) work just as well. You may also wish to polish your absol’s horn if you’re considering entering it into shows, but be warned that not all absol will allow you to do this. If yours does, use horn polish (generic works just as well) and a soft cloth. Use firm but gentle movements. Don’t pull too roughly, or your absol will protest by bashing you with its horn.

Finally in terms of grooming, be sure to file your absol’s claws every couple of weeks, and clean its teeth daily. This will not only maintain its physical health but also its mental health. Also, some shows may judge your absol based on these traits especially, as claws and fangs are hallmarks of the dark type.

As for extremely basic care, absol are largely carnivorous, just like most canine pokémon. If you aren’t feeding yours specially designed kibble or wet food for its species, make sure that at least half of its diet consists of meat—the leaner, the better. Poultry is ideal, particularly dark meat if you can find enough of it, and eggs are great as your absol grows older. The rest of its diet can consist of a mixture of berries and starchy or colorful vegetables. Avoid fats and fatty foods whenever possible, as well as foods that are typically poisonous to dog-like pokémon (including chocolate, grapes, and so forth). Grains should also be avoided, less because it would kill your absol and more because not a lot of absol can tolerate grains.

In terms of enrichment, an absol doesn’t require much beyond attention, but many enjoy the same types of toys any other dog-like pokémon loves, including balls, ropes, and chew toys. Absol are especially fond of squeak toys, although researchers have yet to figure out why.

As for exercise, all absol should be let out at least once a day (because, well, many are house-trained, so this is how they’ll relieve themselves), so plan for a walk at the minimum. They should also be trained for at least an hour a day, as per usual for any pokémon. Targets are especially valuable when training your absol, as many of its abilities involve its horn, which is, strangely enough, not a thing most absol innately know how to aim with. On that note, always stand upwind from your absol when training it.

Speaking of abilities, the donphan in the room: its “disaster sense.” For the most part, if you treat your absol well, you won’t have to worry about its precognitive ability. Most trainers live their entire lives without their absol’s danger sense triggering because, well, most of us raise our pokémon in fairly safe environments. That said, this is an ability that absol innately know how to use, so very little training is required from it. However, if your absol stops in its tracks for several moments and then bursts into an unusual amount of activity and agitation for seemingly no reason, drop what you’re doing and follow it. That is what its disaster sense looks like, which means that whatever it foresaw, you very likely do not want to be in the vicinity any time thereafter.

It may be worth it to note that if you did want to train your absol to control these visions or to increase its reach into the future, you could pair it with a psychic (either of the human or pokémon variety) for further teaching. Oftentimes, though, it isn’t worth it unless you work with disasters (say, as an EMT, a firefighter, or an insurance salesman).

Best of luck, anonymous!

Hello bill, concerned citizen here. I was walking yesterday and saw this man with an absol, but the odd thing was that this absol’s horn had a Scalloped edge. the man said it grew that way, but i noticed faint grooves in the horn. i think he bound the absol’s horn while it was growing to make the dips in the horn. Is this enough for me to call officer Jenny on him? I know that an absol’s horn is a major sensory device and worry for it, and am also concerned as to what happens if the horn breaks.

It’s worth it to know that there are genetic conditions that may affect the way an absol’s horn grows, so there’s a possibility that this trainer is right in that regard. Alternatively, the absol could be a rescue whose previous owner was abusive, and its current owner simply doesn’t want to talk about it. If you suspect abuse, it’s important to look for other signs, including malnourishment, fresh injuries, or strange (anxious, aggressive, etc.) behavior. Making an incorrect call on such a matter could put an owner and a pokémon through quite a lot, some of which can be highly traumatic for a rescue.

Still, it’s good to hear that you’re concerned for a pokémon’s well being! Please continue to care as deeply for pokémon as you do.

Absol

bills-pokedex:

[[Writer’s Note: In light of yesterday’s entry, I have been informed by my editor, partner, and dearest friend L.H. that I am not funny and that I am to apologize and write a proper entry in response to my equally dear follower, @anonabsolxwolf. Thus, I present to you, my readers, the entry for the day and my sincerest pleas for forgiveness. Bill]]

Absol
The Disaster Pokémon
Type: Dark
Official Registration #: 359
Entry: A mountain-dwelling pokémon with the ability to foretell disasters. In ancient legend, absol—then referred to as the hakutaku—foretold that a deadly plague would sweep across the Hoenn region and that only a very specific herb found on the side of Mt. Pyre would be able to cure it. For this reason, Hoennians worshipped absol as a guardian spirit of herbal medicine for several centuries until modern Western medicine was introduced to the region. Absol’s prophecies for various natural disasters are still accurate, of course, but humanity has an unfortunate tendency to ignore voices of reason during times of desperation. In short, absol has gone from being a guardian spirit of herbal medicine to the patron saint of underappreciated minds whose reasonable advice goes unheeded by the Pokémon Association.

[[Editor’s Note: You are still not funny, Bill. —LH]]

Mega Absol
The Disaster Pokémon
Type: Dark
Official Registration #: 359+
Entry: The advanced form of absol, via absolite. Thanks to mega evolution, absol’s spiritual abilities are heightened considerably, making its ability to predict disaster particularly accurate. Strangely, while these heightened abilities do indeed make it a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield, not too long ago, absol had found even more popularity among a certain other subculture fond of dark creatures with (admittedly non-functional in this case) angel wings, demon horns, and the ability to foresee dark events. In other words, in a sense, absol has become the patron saint of gothic lolitas and online fanfiction authors circa 2006.

I recently got out of a very abusive relationship and have physical and emotional scars to show what I’ve been through. My absol went through similar issues due to my ex now has a very strong fear and anger of men and stands between me and any man that tries to get near me, will growl as a warning but I believe he won’t hesitate to attack if someone were to be near me. What can we both do to heal our emotional wounds?

Recovery will always take time, anonymous, including and especially for emotional wounds. It’s important, for both you and your absol, to take it slow and take it easy. It might also be an excellent idea to talk to someone—Nurse Joys can provide such a service for both you and your partner if need be, if not suggest someone else who can.

In the meantime, outside of professional help, form bonds with others. Seek out a support group (both in literal terms and in the sense of a solid base of friends or family) who can help rebuild both your and your absol’s trust in humans in general. Once that trust is rebuilt, you may be able to move on and work on getting comfortable with men again, but again, don’t rush too much. It’s not unusual for some hurt to linger well past traumatic events, and pushing yourself when you’re not ready may open up old wounds.

If, however, you mean what should you do if your absol tries to attack a man on the street, again, training is of the utmost importance. As difficult as this may be, teach your absol the difference between a threat and a non-threat. Have him learn how to trust his instincts again too. His abilities are his best means of figuring out what is and isn’t a danger to you, but he’s become so fixated on what has already happened (perhaps through his guilt of being unable to prevent it) that he seems to be relying on the past as his means of judgment, not his ability to read the future. Speaking with a professional, comforting him, and retraining him, in combination, should be able to help him heal enough to learn how to use his species’ inherent powers again.

Best of luck, anonymous!

Help! I think my Absol is becoming homicidal! A few weeks ago, he slaughtered an opponents Pichu in a battle. Since then, he’s done the same to 4 other Pokémon, and the other day he attacked another trainer. I love my Absol, but I don’t know how to stop this behavior. What do I do?

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Please excuse the highlighting. We forgot to close our search after we located these asks. —LH

Pokémon are rarely (practically never) aggressive for no reason, especially if they previously weren’t, readers. Before anything, it’s imperative to figure out why your pokémon are suddenly displaying the behaviors you’ve described, then work to correct the problem from the root. Observe your pokémon to see if you can find any possible triggers. Communicate with them if you can. Consider taking them to a pokémon center to see if their changes in behavior have physiological roots or to receive more personalized care.

Without knowing that root cause, it’s difficult to offer advice, as each of the possible causes come with wildly different solutions, including avoiding certain situations or places (if your pokémon are precognitive, as absol may be—or if they’re simply reading emotions in the case of gardevoir or remembering past traumas in the above ninetales’s case), more rigorous training (if it’s a simple behavioral problem in one or more of the above cases), or even antibiotics or surgery (if the problem is physical in nature). Thus, all I can say is consult your local pokémon center for treatment options, but also, be vigilant in your observations and keep your pokémon’s poké balls on hand at all times. 

Lastly, of course, if your pokémon are suicidal, please also be as supportive as possible. Get them the help they need, yes, but also make sure they understand you care deeply for them and will do anything you can to help them.

Best of luck, everyone!