Pikachu

bills-pokedex:

Pichu
The Tiny Mouse Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 172
Entry: Trainers take caution—although cute and the first stage in a line of formidable battlers, pichu do not have a full mastery over their electrical powers until evolution. This is not to say that they aren’t that strong. On the contrary: they have the ability to generate voltages on par with their evolved forms. What they cannot do is avoid releasing said voltage when startled, happy, or simply standing in an empty room doing absolutely nothing, and suffice to say, this is why many of the reports of electrocution among Johtonians have to do with this very pokémon.

Pikachu
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 25
Entry: The evolved form of pichu, in response to closeness with its trainer. Due to its adorable appearance, its intelligence, and its penchant for doing tricks for treats, pikachu has become an extremely popular choice for a pet. However, should you wish to keep one, never forget that pikachu are still potentially dangerous electric rodents. This is not just a note concerning its ability to generate thousands of volts of electricity, nor is it simply a warning concerning its tendency to release electricity during thunderstorms or upon waking up each morning. It is also a note that this rodent can and will chew through wires if left unattended, and chargers compatible with Leppa-brand laptops run anywhere from ¥3500 to ¥9400 each.

Raichu
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 26
Entry: The evolved form of pikachu, by exposure to thunder stone. A raichu’s tail acts as its grounding wire. When a raichu stores too much electricity in its electrical sacs, it plants its tail and discharges electricity directly into the ground. This is vital to the well-being of an individual raichu, as not only do they gather electricity from their surroundings, but they also grow increasingly aggressive as their electrical stores grow. In that sense, a raichu is much like a drunken relative on Christmas, the sort who gets increasingly offensive the more alcohol he consumes until he needs to be escorted to a safe room to discharge a long and barely intelligible rant. …Not that this writer has seen his father do any of this at any point in his life.

Raichu (Alola form)
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Electric/Psychic
Official Registration #: 26
Entry: The evolved form of pikachu, by exposure to thunder stone within the region of Alola. It’s said that the catalyst that enables a pikachu to attain this rounder, more spiritually-inclined form upon evolution is the consumption of Alolan pancakes, which are fluffier and spicier than any other pancake in the world. If this seems at all ridiculous to you, reader, then clearly, you have yet to try Alolan pancakes. They are, in the author’s opinion, an experience.

For the record, Bill is referring to literal pancakes. —LH

Of course. The figurative sort of pancake people from Goldenrod know about is the Unovan pancake, which, I assure you, I have never tried. —Bill

Well, that’s shocking. —LH

…no pun intended, oh my God, Bill. —LH

Zeraora

Zeraora
The Thunderclap Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 807
Entry: Although it isn’t actually the god or guardian of anything, unlike many other legendary beings, it is still renowned for both its power and viciousness. It is known for lunging at opponents from seemingly nowhere at blinding speeds, wreathed in lightning, to utterly eviscerate its targets with a combination of lightning-fast hand-to-hand combat techniques, mystical powers, and sheer brute force. Yet despite the amount of violence it displays, it still has gained a mass of devoted fans throughout the world, seemingly overnight.

Now that the author has gotten that lengthy and unsolicited tangent about half the cast of Rayquazaball Z off his chest, Zeraora is an aggressive, cat-like mythical pokémon supposedly native to the region of Alola.

I was doing my Island Challenge, but when Illima asked if I was ready, I said “Yes Ma’am” and then the assistant (they guys in the light blue that also guard the gates.) whispered to me that Illima was actually a guy. I got nervous and ran away. I haven’t talked to her in a week. That pink hair fooled me! How was I supposed to know he was a guy? How should I apologize?

Apologize, use Illima’s preferred pronouns, and move on.

I admit that I don’t know whether or not Illima is cis (I don’t know any of the trial captains that well, barring Sophocles), but if Illima isn’t, then making a show of it, for lack of a better term, may actually make things worse, even if you have good intentions. It can be embarrassing or even traumatic, and it most certainly calls more attention to someone’s gender than one would feel comfortable with. Meanwhile, if he’s actually cis, making a show of it won’t exactly be uncomfortable for the same reasons, but it will still be extremely awkward to call attention to how a person presents themselves.

So the best course of action in this case is to simply make an effort to refer to Illima with the pronouns he prefers (or they prefer, perhaps) and proceed normally. Perhaps also apologize for running off as well but don’t go too deeply into why. Just say that it was rude of you and that you’d like to have another go at his trial. And, well, refer to him with “sir” this time if that’s what Illima would like you to do.

Best of luck!

Rockruff and Lycanroc

bills-pokedex:

Rockruff
The Puppy Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 744
Entry: Thought to be the cousin of growlithe, this small, puppy-like pokémon possesses very much the same disposition. It is highly loyal, and it’s very fond of humans. As such, it’s considered one of the easier pokémon for beginning trainers to start off with, as its loyal and agreeable disposition make it easy to teach rockruff new tricks. For this reason, rockruff is also generally considered to be a Good Dog.

Lycanroc (Midday Form)
The Wolf Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 745
Entry: The evolved form of rockruff, by battle experience, if trained during the day. Exposing rockruff to sunlight during its evolution causes it to evolve into a quadrupedal form of lycanroc. This form retains a lot of the same loyalty and agreeable disposition as its preevolved form, and as such, this pokémon is considered to be a stalwart battler and excellent companion. However, be warned: while it normally uses the sharp rocks around its collar as weapons, some retain the tendency to rub these rocks against their trainers as a form of affection. Considering the fact that these rocks can grow to be a foot long and roughly as sharp as knives, this may result in unfortunate mishaps. Nonetheless, this form of lycanroc is still generally considered to be a Good Dog.

Lycanroc (Midnight Form)
The Wolf Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 745
Entry: The evolved form of rockruff, by battle experience, if trained during the night. Allowing rockruff to evolve under the cover of night causes it to assume a more violent, impulsive form. While this form of lycanroc loses its rocky collar, it gains a hard head, which it uses to smash its opponents into submission after it goads them into attacking. Well aware of its boots in power, midnight lycanroc actively seeks opponents and will attack without being ordered to, rendering this form of lycanroc highly difficult to tame and train. However, despite the comparative difficulties of training this form (as opposed to rockruff or midday lycanroc), midnight lycanroc is not considered to be a Bad Dog but rather a Not Quite Great But Still Pretty All Right Dog.

Lycanroc (Dusk Form)
The Wolf Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 745
Entry: The evolved form of rockruff, by battle experience, if trained at dusk (if the subject’s ability is Own Tempo). When exposed to the fading light of dusk, some rockruff may evolve into a quadrupedal form that is, in many ways, the midpoint between midnight and midday lycanroc. Not only is it physically very much like a midpoint between these two forms (quadrupedal like the midday form but also covered with spikes similar to midnight’s), but also, its disposition is a rather unpredictable mix of midday’s calmness and midnight’s aggression. Yet despite this, lycanroc’s dusk form is not known for being a Good Dog or a Bad Dog or even a Not Quite Great But Still Pretty All Right Dog. Instead, it’s known for being a Cheeto Dog … because of its orange pelt. Because that’s just how the internet works.

Why do so many Alolan forms of Pokemon gain a secondary Dark typing? I would think a bright and sunny place like Alola would do the opposite of giving Pokemon an affinity for the dark.

Not necessarily, anonymous. In some cases, primarily when it comes to the rattata and grimer lines, these pokémon had to hide beneath buildings until nightfall to avoid extermination by humans or hunting by other pokémon. Thus, they adapted to the darkness of Alolan nights, rather than the brightness of Alolan days.

The meowth line, meanwhile … no one’s quite sure how selective breeding managed to give it an affinity for the dark type, to be honest. But given how adept standard meowth are at conning their owners into giving them more treats or affection, it’s perhaps not surprising…

UB Burst: Blacephalon

Blacephalon
The Fireworks Pokémon
Type: Fire/Ghost
Official Registration #: 806
Entry: One of the Ultra Beasts, or strange pokémon that had appeared from another dimension. This clown-like Ultra Beast is known for slithering up to opponents and, once within extremely close range, detonates its own head in an explosion designed to stun a victim, if not do incredible damage to them. Although one would think its colorful and eccentric appearance would make it difficult for a blacephalon to engage in any manner of stealth, in truth, it more than makes up for it through its lankiness, flexibility, and general agility. These three things, in conjunction with its colorful and eccentric appearance, also apparently make it popular among certain crowds on certain social media websites for reasons that aren’t entirely lost on the author, though he would appreciate any moment in which he wouldn’t have to think about them.

UB Assembly: Stakataka

Stakataka
The Rampart Pokémon
Type: Rock/Steel
Official Registration #: 805
Entry: One of the Ultra Beasts, or strange pokémon that had appeared from another dimension. Although scientists consider it to be the heaviest known rock-type, it’s actually a colonial organism consisting of dozens if not hundreds of individual brick-like creatures stacked one on top of the other. However, the specific configuration they create maximizes their defensive potential, allowing them to withstand the toughest of blows and still stand tall and strong. For this reason, the author is told, it is often paired with gumshoos … although the relevance of any of this to gumshoos is, frankly, lost on the author.

Bill. Give it to me straight… How accurate is the pokedex system? Is there someone just making these entries up, because I am about to throw my dex off a cliff with how ridiculous these things can get. (Not literally, but still) I prefer the Alola dexes entries, because at least those look like they have research backing it up.

That depends. In most regions, dex entries are vetted by a researcher before submission to the Pokémon Symposium.

In Alola, however, pokédexes are possessed by notoriously mischievous yet knowledgeable ghost-type pokémon, so it’s anyone’s guess, honestly.

What are the different religions in each region?

Well … this is a bit complicated, anonymous, because every region hosts a varied population, which means you’ll often see a wide variety of beliefs upheld among its people. While it’s true that many regions also have a regional religion tied to local legendaries, these are often only one of many possible, and in some cases, they’re not even the predominant religion of the region.

Take Kanto, for example. Contrary to popular belief, while it’s true that Kantonians generally believe that the legendary birds are actual embodiments of their respective elements, they don’t actually worship them. Rather, the legends tied to the birds are more or less folklore on the same level as local yokai. Instead, the predominant religion of Kanto is actually Shinto, with sizable percentages of the remaining population dedicated to Buddhism and Christianity. Only a small subset of people worship the legendaries themselves, and many of them place Mew at the center of their beliefs—hence the traditional name, Myuu-no-michi (Way of Mew). The beliefs upheld by the followers of Myuu-no-michi are often animistic in nature; that is, they essentially believe that peace can be found if a person becomes one with nature.

Johto, on the other hand, exists on the other end of the spectrum. While there are many followers of Shinto and Buddhism in Johto, it’s more common to find followers of Ho-oh, Lugia, or Celebi (or all three) there. This religion is commonly called Ubame-no-michi (Way of Ilex), although it’s also called Johtoism in Common. I could go into the finer details of what this religion means (I myself am a follower of the sect that worships all three legendaries and would be more than happy to elaborate on its teachings and traditions), but to simplify it as much as possible for the sake of this post, it borrows quite a bit from Shinto, including and especially the respect for kami (which are not necessarily just the legendaries but also the essences of nature in general). Johtonian belief states that all beings have their own essences, and thus, all beings have power and purpose, which in turn means that all living creatures should be respected. Of course, there are exceptions, but generally speaking, yes, Johtoism centers around respecting nature and doing as many good works as one can within their lifetime … or, essentially, it’s Shinto, except we also worship rainbow phoenixes, ocean birds, and/or woodland pixies. (We also believe that there are three beasts who will roam the world until humans are collectively ready as a species to receive Ho-oh again, and seeing as they’re still roaming, I feel completely at ease with referring to the major kami as “rainbow phoenixes, ocean birds, and/or woodland pixies.”)

Most other regional religions fall somewhere in between. Hoennians worship Kyogre, Groudon, and Rayquaza primarily, but their religion (Hoennism) follows the same basic tenets as Johtoism, just with the legends swapped out. (Contrary to popular belief, they do not worship the golems, the lati twins, or Jirachi; these are merely elements of their regional folklore.) By contrast, Unovans and Kaloseans, like Kantonians, don’t follow a regional religion. Rather, Christianity is the primary religion of Kalos (Catholicism, specifically), although I’ve been told more and more Kaloseans describe themselves as non-religious or Muslim. Judaism is also on the rise there as well. (And yes, a few also worship Xerneas, Yveltal, and Zygarde, but these people form a very small sliver of the population. Christians happened to be very charismatic people right around the Middle Ages, and in any case, the Kalosean religion somewhat lost favor thanks to the bit about a weapon devastating a large part of the pokémon population.) As for Unova, it’s more of a melting pot, so while a large number of Unovans describe themselves as Christian (Protestant, especially), practically every religion in the world is represented in some form or another there. However, there is no religion centering around its regional legendaries; this is merely folklore to the Unovans, not an actual faith.

Then, of course, you have the Alolans and the Sinnohans.

While Alola is just as much of a melting pot as Unova (although, as a place where many Johtonian and Kantonian immigrants have settled, it’s more common to see representations of Japanese religions there than western ones), there’s a hardy population of native islanders who worship the local Tapu. Like Johtoism, Alola is heavily focused on respecting nature, but for the Alolans, it has little to do with essences. Rather, nature itself is everything to them. It’s a powerful force in itself, yes, but it’s also a living entity that we humans are merely privileged to be a part of. As such, the local Alolan religion (it has no real name, as it’s tied heavily to Alolan culture) is steeped heavily in traditions, celebrations, and rituals that center around the respect and worship of nature, including its guardians, the Tapu.

Sinnohans, by contrast, follow a unique belief system that centers heavily on the worship of their entire pantheon. Every one of their legendaries is considered a deity to them, but this is especially true for Arceus (their main deity) as well as Palkia and Dialga (the gods of space and time, respectively). In a way, it can be thought of as a very western tradition in that the worship of the gods supersedes the worship of nature (whereas in religions like Johtoism, it’s the other way around), although that’s not to say that the Sinnohans disregard nature at all. It just means that a lot of their beliefs and traditions focus on acknowledging their gods as the creators of all existence and thus not merely a part of it but rather masters of it. (There are also followers of Shinto, Buddhism, and Christianity in the Sinnoh region, but honestly, they’re far fewer in number to the Sinnohans.)

Of course, this just describes the National Dex regions. There are many other regions out there with their own pantheons of legendaries (which themselves have varying degrees of importance to their people). Likewise, there are many other human-based religions out there, including Hinduism (one of the most worshipped religions in existence), Confucianism, Neopaganism, and so on and so forth. It all really goes to show how complex human existence really is. We each have our own ways of thinking and of living our lives, even within each individual region, and even if we share our world with such beings as Arceus, Palkia, and Giratina, we humans still have a lot of questions about who we are, where we came from, or what our purpose in this universe is—questions that we seek to answer through our vastly different faiths and belief systems. Or, well, through our inquisitive natures, of course.

What are the main advantages of living in each region?

Well, that’s an unusual question, anonymous. There are quite a lot of regions out there, and each one has its own unique benefits and drawbacks, depending on what you need and what your preferences are. Even Orre, which is a desert nearly completely devoid of wild pokémon, has fascinating spots of greenery, urban oases, and its own unique analog to the Pokémon League. Conversely, regions such as Kalos, which are highly regarded as popular tourist destinations, has an incredibly high cost of living, never mind how crowded many of its urban areas are. So, really, this is a bit complicated because it really depends on what you’re looking for, and in certain cases, a region that may be seen as paradise to some might be … well, less than ideal for others.

I suppose, though, you’re referring to each of the major regions included in the National Dex, as these tend to be where the highest concentration of trainers tend to go. If that’s the case, then:

Kanto: Kanto is a highly diverse region with plenty to see and do. It has peaceful rural landscapes, plus the modern, urban meccas that are Celadon and Saffron Cities. It’s also proud of its reputation as one of the most technologically advanced and ecologically aware regions in the world, largely thanks to a combination of the efforts of major Saffron-based tech giants such as Silph and the green programs put in place by the Japanese government to protect the nation’s environment. As a result, it’s often seen as the best place for trainers to begin their journeys, as they’re often equipped with the latest pokémon tech, and they have massive expanses of peaceful, pokémon-filled rural areas to explore. It helps, of course, that Professor Oak is the regional pokémon expert, so you quite literally can’t start anywhere better. If, however, you don’t have children who might consider leaving on journeys of their own, then the main advantage of living here would most definitely be its peace. It’s not that difficult to find completely safe neighborhoods full of friendly people who watch out for each other (if you prefer populated areas) or quiet, secluded areas far from civilization (if you’re like me and … don’t prefer populated areas). Additionally, although it’s true that Kanto is technically one of the main centers of Rocket activity, at the very least, our criminal organization hasn’t yet tried to destroy the world using legendary pokémon.

Johto: At the risk of sounding quite biased, Johto is home to a rich cultural history, and it’s quite proud of it too. Every city in Johto possesses its own unique identity, founded on hundreds if not thousands of years of tradition. This isn’t to say that the region is backwards or stuck in the past, either. In fact, it’s just as advanced as Kanto, and Goldenrod City, one of the region’s crowned jewels (okay, perhaps I’m a little biased), rivals the likes of Castelia, Lumiose, and its sister city Saffron in terms of cutting-edge technology. We simply make our history a part of our everyday lives, as Johtonian tradition emphasizes learning from the past in order to better our present. And to top it all off, Johtonians are extremely friendly, largely because they’re very eager to share their culture with outsiders. It’s very easy to feel welcome when moving to Johto, even if you’re by no means a native Johtonian yourself.

Hoenn: Next to Alola, Hoenn is quite possibly the most ecologically beautiful regions one can journey through. While it’s not necessarily as remote as Alola (it is a part of the Japanese archipelago, after all), it’s home to over 100 unique species of pokémon, all of which live in abundance within Hoenn’s equally unique habitats. If you’re hoping for a bit of a tropical vacation in addition to your journey, Hoenn is an excellent choice, as it hosts miles of pristine beaches, a lush rainforest, challenging mountains to climb (including one volcano to traverse), and even its very own desert. Moreover, Hoennians are just as friendly as Johtonians, and they’re often more than happy to share their love of the rural peacefulness of their region. It is, in other words, a place where one can go to get a breath of fresh air and feel one with nature (or with other people living in it).

Sinnoh: If you’re interested in the legendary pokémon, it’s practically imperative that you make at least one journey to (and through) Sinnoh. Sinnoh is a mysterious region, home to vast expanses of rough terrain to travel through, which makes it difficult for many trainers to traverse. However, it’s more than worth it for legendary enthusiasts, as Sinnoh’s cultural identity is thousands of years older than even Johto’s and sports strong ties to the legendaries said to have woven the fabric of the universe itself. As such, there are countless ancient sites dedicated to the legends or to ancient Sinnohans, which means there is a wealth of information for the budding archaeologist or pokémonologist to explore. Otherwise, it’s also a highly mysterious region in itself, home to a number of smaller villages and secluded mountain spots, so if you’re longing for peace and quiet, Sinnoh’s an excellent choice.

Unova: On the other hand, if modern conveniences are of more interest to you, Unova is a constantly growing, constantly developing metropolis. Think of it like every city in Johto and Kanto combined; whereas both Johto and Kanto have smaller, quieter spots, most cities in Unova are exciting and full of people. It’s also a melting pot of culture, with people from all over the world coming together to add their identities to each neighborhood. For example, Unova is one of the few places where you can get Kantonian sushi, take in a Kalosean movie (in the original Kalosean language), and buy authentic Alolan statuettes essentially in the same city block. In short, you will likely never be bored in Unova. (Just … keep an eye on your wallet if you travel through Castelia.)

Kalos: Kalos calls itself the home of high fashion and art, and quite frankly, it’s difficult to argue. The region itself is home to some of the most beautiful rural landscapes outside of Alola and Hoenn, coupled with cities hosting some of the most fascinating architecture one can find. Not only that, but also, the cultural attractions located in Lumiose and Camphrier are second to none when it comes to western art, and most fashion and food trends tend to start in Kalos, thanks to the high concentration of fashion designers based in Laverre and chefs based in the very heart of Lumiose. In short, if you want a dose of western culture on weekends (or if you’re looking for awe-inspiring landscapes), look no further than Kalos. Just … be aware that rent is by no means cheap here.

Alola: Although Alola is remote yet also home to a diverse population of pokémon (meaning the species there aren’t necessarily unique to the region), it’s also one of the most fascinating to travel through. At the moment, it boasts not a gym circuit but instead an island challenge, which is a journey stocked with not only traditional battles but also challenging trials. Additionally, each island hosts its own unique habitat, ranging from tropical paradises to lofty, snow-capped mountains, and each island hosts its own unique ecosystem with separate populations of pokémon. Finally and most importantly, the people of Alola are among the most laid-back one can find among the seven regions of the National Dex. They’re extremely friendly (far friendlier than even Johtonians and Hoennians), and they’re often eager to share their unique culture with others. It’s a fantastic choice for anyone wishing for something different. Just … be aware that rent is even worse here than in Kalos.

I’m shocked that you made it through an entire post about various regions without badmouthing Unova once. —LH

I’ve sworn not to do it anymore. Apparently, it makes Amanita feel bad. —Bill

Oh. Well, in that case, allow me to give you a belated you monster. —LH

I deserve every syllable of that. —Bill