Hi there, could you give me some advice? Is there any way to alter the fragrance that my Bayleef gives off? It’s a nice enough smell but it makes my Aggron and Flareon quite antsy and I don’t think I can afford the repair costs they have another go at each other (there’s still a large section of missing and scorched wall that needs to be fixed). I don’t want to part with any of them but this is really not something I want to deal with too much longer

Unfortunately, anonymous, bayleef’s signature aroma comes from its leaves and thus can only be influenced by location and temperature at the time of their growth. However, it’s possible to slightly alter the biochemistry (and thus odor) of bayleef’s main body simply by changing its diet. Strong-tasting, pungent foods, such as those that contain tamato berries or garlic, are particularly recommended for this purpose, but be warned that this may result in an unappealing smell for you, as the smell from bayleef’s leaves may intermingle with its body. Additionally, these changes tend to be temporary unless you’re consistent with what you feed bayleef.

I wish you godspeed, anonymous.

My Elekid recently evolved into Electabuzz, and as such her appetite for electricity has increased. The problem is she’s been draining the neighbors’ houses of electricity and causing blackouts in the area. Do you have any recommendations to keep her fed without making the neighbors fed up?

Invest in a generator.

I realize this sounds like a flippant response, but it actually helps immensely to have at least one on hand. There are plenty of solar-powered generators on the market, all of which are capable of supplementing your electabuzz’s diet.

Alternatively, car batteries and electirizers are equally effective, particularly if your electabuzz is not overly voracious. However, it’s important to note that if you do consider this option, exposure to an electirizer is one of the requirements for electabuzz’s evolution into electivire. On the one hand, electivire generally tend to be more well-behaved than electabuzz (and thus will obey if you tell them not to consume from community resources), but on the other, electivire also require more electricity. Only use an electirizer as a backup if you’re certain you won’t soon fulfill the other requirement for evolution (that is, trading or owning a particularly old and battle-hardened electabuzz).

Have you already visited unova?

I have indeed. Several times, actually—first to select a system administrator and numerous times thereafter to assist Amanita. I must admit that while I am very fond of the regional administrator, Unovan culture goes against my largely Kantonian sensibilities. Culture is one of the few points other natives of my home region and I disagree upon. Johtonians find Unovan culture highly amusing. I find it a bit too much for my liking.

For example, why must all of you put cheese or milk in literally everything? How on Earth is milk even a preservative? Honestly.

I suppose to be fair, at the very least, Unovans understand the concept of lactose intolerance, and they do indeed provide alternatives for those who cannot or would rather not consume dairy. Kaloseans do not grasp this same concept, and it seems that the basis of their entire cuisine is a horrifying mixture of butter and cream. This is part of the reason why, despite the fact that eevee are native to the region, I have visited that particular region a grand total of once and why if any official business needs to be done there, it’s usually performed by my editor instead. She seems to like milk and Kalosean cuisine, but I forgive her for this.

Since I’ve been hearing a lot about Alola forms of Pokémon I was wondering, if we were to somehow check on the Alola Region in about thousands and thousands years from now (or however long it would take) would it be possible for Alola forms Pokémon to be completely different species? Like a split is forming right now and if we were to check in later they wouldn’t even be consider the same Pokémon. And are there any Pokémon species that something like that might have happened with in the past?

It’s entirely possible.

To be a bit more specific for the sake of clearing any confusion on the matter, when a pokémonologist refers to evolution, they could be referring to one of two things. There is, of course, metamorphic evolution, which is the process by which one pokémon transforms from a juvenile form to a more adult form—such as, for example, the transformation from a bulbasaur to its ivysaur stage.

However, there is also Darwinistic evolution, which is, of course, the transition from one species to another by way of millions of years of adaptation. Pokémon are the only beings on Earth capable of both, and as such, present-day pokémon are actually descended from long evolutionary trees dating back to prehistoric ancestors of completely different species. For example, every vulpix is actually related to growlithe, poochyena, and more by way of a common ancestor. (There are, of course, plenty of others. Even pokémon such as ponyta and rhyhorn, which one would think are not related at all, branched off a common ancestor in the very distant past.) Each species simply diverged from one another by way of differing adaptations according to their needs and habitats.

That’s why vulpix and other pokémon with “Alolan variations” are so fascinating to pokémonologists, actually. It stands to reason that, just as rockruff and growlithe diverged from a common ancestor, vulpix will someday diverge enough that its ice-and-fairy-type form and fire-type form will create entirely new species. This will perhaps not occur in thousands of years but rather millions, as Darwinistic evolution is slow, but it will happen someday.

So I suppose the final answer to all of your questions is … yes.

Hey, Leafeon use photosynthisis right? I’m starting to get worried because mine never wants to go outside and seems fairly determined to stay as far away from sunlight as possible. At first I thought he just had too much energy or was being stubborn but this has been going on for weeks and he doesn’t want to eat either. What do I do?

First and foremost, this post may be alarming to you on some level, but the important thing is that you refrain from panicking. Your leafeon will improve one way or another, but it will require a bit of effort and observation on your part.

That having been said, there may be a number of things that are preventing your leafeon from maintaining his diet of either sunlight or actual food, but the first thing you should do to rule out a few possibilities is take him to your local pokémon center. Sometimes, these behaviors indicate an illness, an injury, or a digestive blockage, any of which can be resolved by a well-trained Nurse Joy. She can also give you a customized meal plan or routine to help your leafeon get back on track, so to speak.

If the problem is more psychological in nature, then consider the following:

Your leafeon may be under stress due to a new environment. This is especially true if you’ve recently moved to an urban environment. Most grass-types (except those who are also of the poison element) do not do as well in urban environments as they do in more rural areas due to increased air pollution or fewer available spots with an optimal amount of sunlight. If this is the case, find the nearest park to your home and make it a point to take your leafeon there for at least an hour every day. This should be done in addition to feeding your leafeon solid food, as the exposure to sunlight “jumpstarts” his appetite and lifts his morale enough to encourage him to eat.
Alternatively, as an extension to the above, your leafeon may be experiencing stress due to the new environment itself. Increase the amount of time you spend with your leafeon and try to make his new home as happy and comfortable as possible in order to reassure him that he’s safe in your new location. If you have any other pokémon that you’ve raised alongside your leafeon, keep them close to him, including during mealtimes, in order to give him support.
Conversely, if you have new pokémon and you’ve made it a habit to release all of your pokémon from their poké balls at once so they may eat (or photosynthesize, in the case of your leafeon) together, feed your leafeon separately from this pokémon. It’s very likely that your leafeon is uncomfortable with the new addition to your family. When it’s not feeding time, try your best to get your pokémon acclimated to one another before trying to reintegrate your leafeon with your usual feeding routine.
If you don’t normally keep your leafeon in his ball, observe him carefully and be sure he isn’t eating between meals. If your leafeon is eating extra meals, this will cause him to avoid sunlight, as even though it’s true photosynthesis is an entirely different process from heterotrophic nutrition, if your leafeon eats his fill, his stomach will send a signal to his brain that tells him that he no longer needs to gather energy—and thus, doesn’t need to photosynthesize. Observing your leafeon’s behavior will also allow you to monitor whether or not he’s exuding wastes, so it is, in general, a good idea in your case.
If your leafeon is simply picky (that is, he actively refuses sunlight or food by choice), switch his diet. Put him on a different food or kibble until you can find one he likes, never feed him from the table, and try giving him bites of his own food between meals as a reward for tricks or battles well fought. Most importantly, establish a routine and be consistent about it. If your leafeon is simply consciously picky, then that means getting him to eat is a matter of training, just as you would train him for battle. But if you’re consistent about what you do and strict about what you feed him, he’ll eventually learn to eat what you give him when you give it to him. Or he’ll be so weary of you that he’ll go back to photosynthesizing.

That having been said, anonymous, I wish you the best of luck, and may your leafeon get well soon.

Can pokemon eat people food? My Zorua loves to steal my waffles and loves chocolate especially. I’m just wondering if it’s okay for her

Unlike animals, many pokémon are indeed capable of consuming a diet very similar to that of humans, which means many things that would be toxic to their “animal counterparts” are actually not toxic to them. Chocolate is probably the most noteworthy example; while it may be extremely dangerous for canine animals to consume, it’s perfectly harmless for the riolu line, the zorua line, and many others.

Of course, just because a pokémon species can eat it doesn’t mean it should or that every member of the species can. Zorua, for example, are primarily carnivores, so while waffles are fine as an occasional treat, they need a healthy diet of meat and leaner grains and vegetables to survive. If one consumes nothing but waffles for several of its meals a week, it won’t necessarily kill them, but it will be the equivalent of a human being surviving on nothing but candy and instant ramen—which, no, one cannot do. I may or may not know this from experience.

Likewise, while many species have no problems mixing human food into their diets, other species absolutely cannot. These tend to be the more delicate species or species that rely on diets of items that aren’t edible to a human at all. Sableye, many rock-types, most steel-types, and the sunkern line, for example.

Additionally, it’s entirely possible for members of certain species to acquire the inability to consume certain foods. Cat-like pokémon, for example, may become lactose intolerant after weaning (contrary to popular belief). Not all cat-like pokémon become incapable of consuming dairy, however, so knowing whether or not yours can requires keen observation on your part.

That is perhaps the main thing to keep in mind concerning pokémon nutrition, actually: always observe your team members and take note of their habits, their physiology, and their pokédex entries. While it’s true that larvitar may not consume entire mountains, it’s still sound advice to feed yours a diet rich in minerals. The more you study your own pokémon and information about their species, the better armed you’ll be when it comes to taking care of them.

As for your zorua, in the end, it’s all right to feed her waffles now and then but don’t make it a habit unless you’d like a pudgy zorua with a whole list of regrets.

So Xerneas creates life, and Yveltal destroys it, but what is their purpose? Pokemon are born and can die without their help, so what exactly do they do? Also, surely there must be a law or something that stops Xerneas from just randomly bringing things to life, and Yveltal from killing people it doesn’t like.

Well, I would imagine that being forced to sleep for a thousand years at a time is a good enough law.

On a serious level, anonymous, it’s difficult to say. If you believe in the Kalosean teachings, Xerneas and Yveltal are embodiments or guardians of their respective concepts, just as Suicune is the embodiment of the North Wind or Ho-oh is the guardian of the sun and reincarnation cycle according to Johtonian teachings. Thus, while birth and death do indeed happen regardless of whether or not either legendary is directly involved, they both are needed in order to maintain the balance and natural order of both.

Alternatively, their roles as the guardians of life and death are merely metaphors, and the actual pokémon merely possess abilities that coincide with those concepts. It would be akin to how arcanine was once worshipped as guardians of Heaven and wards against evil spirits thanks to their ability to use Roar against attacking pokémon. The difference is, of course, that all legendaries are significantly stronger than most ordinary pokémon, arcanine included, so if they are metaphors, they are such because their abilities are far more effective than anything out of “mortal” pokémon. Any dark-type can kill, for example, but Yveltal’s Oblivion Wing can do it the most effectively.

Finally, either way, it would still be difficult to say on the basis of how vague the concept of a purpose actually is. While I firmly believe that every creature has a purpose of one sort or another, it’s an intimate concept. It’s impossible for others to know what your own purpose is; only you can discover that for yourself. In much the same way, any legendary-class pokémon knows why it was created and what it was meant to do. We can only guess using our own culture, history, and personal beliefs. So perhaps Yveltal really is the guardian of death, Xerneas the guardian of life, and Ho-oh the guardian of the reincarnation cycle. Perhaps not. That would be for them to know for certain. The ultimate question is: what do you believe, all things considered?

Why don’t some people name their pokemon? No one gets a cat or a dog and then just calls them cat/dog. Am I the only one who thinks that’s weird?

I’m afraid I can’t speak for everyone, anonymous, but I do know that there are a few popular reasons.

First and foremost, calling a pokémon by its species name discourages some trainers from catching more than one. You can’t very well keep multiple raticate and call them all raticate, after all.

Second—and sometimes in addition to the first—other trainers view giving pokémon names as being equivalent to treating them like pets. Obviously, not everyone shares this viewpoint (either because they don’t feel that a nickname reduces a pokémon to being a pet or because pokémon are pets for some people), but to the trainers who fall under this school of thought, naming something not only marks that pokémon as property but also implies that the pokémon is not sentient enough to choose a name for itself.

Third (or perhaps an extension of the second), some people believe that pokémon are perfectly capable of choosing their own names—and, in fact, have in their own languages—but they prefer for us to refer to them by their species name, rather than their true names. This seems to be the case with some psychic-types and humanoid pokémon.

Fourth and finally, some trainers are fully aware of the fact that they’re not particularly good at naming things.

As for myself, I choose not to name my pokémon because I agree with the third school of thought. Out of respect to them, I’ve chosen to allow them to name themselves, and they’ve opted to stick with their species names.

I’m hesitant to tell you this, but from what your kadabra has told my sister’s claydol, it’s because they believe you’re in the fourth category of trainer. —LH

They think I’m terrible at naming things? What would give them that idea? —Bill

Considering the fact that you live in a cottage by the sea called the Sea Cottage, you’ve invented a machine that teleports things that you call the teleporter, and your first major invention was a means to store pokémon digitally that you call the storage system, I haven’t the faintest idea. —LH

Bill, why is it that trainers can access their pokemon from your PC in pokemon centers but but not from our own PCs at home?

They can, but most people don’t have the hardware for it. Specifically, every pokémon center has a pokémon transport unit consisting of a miniature teleporter hooked up to one or more PCs. Without that unit and a PC capable of connecting to it, there’s no link between the digital cloud and the physical world. It’s possible to have one of these units in your home as well, but unfortunately, teleporters tend to be ridiculously expensive.

And for that, I have to apologize. I wish it wasn’t like that, but there are costs involved. As in, it’s entirely possible to create open source box management software; the tools needed to do so are largely free or things I would own anyway. It’s far more complicated to create something tangible, and thus, I admit I had to seek funding via the Pokémon Cutting-Edge Technology Research Center. Thus, because the hardware was technically built on their premises and funded by their research facility, they own the patent, and I’m only allowed to produce it by consenting to a rather inconvenient clause stating any hardware I invent must be mass-produced on a for-profit basis.

Thus, for perhaps obvious reasons, this contract also stipulates that I’m barred from informing you that if one emails Cassius Cassine, the Kalos administrator, he can provide you with a link through which you can download a PDF of full and clear instructions on building a safe teleporter using cheaper materials than the ones used in the construction of mass-produced transportation units. I am also not allowed to specify that this PDF also includes thorough notes on maintaining such a unit, as home-built units are naturally less durable than mass-produced ones. Likewise, I cannot say that an easy way to get hired as a storage system administrator is showing me proof that you’ve successfully built and maintained for at least a year one such unit. Because pirating is bad, and I am a responsible, law-abiding scientist. Do not email Cassius. You cannot find his email address by Googling it, either.

Which Eeveelution would you recommend a trainer beginning their journey in Sinnoh should aim for? I’m sure some are easier for beginners than others.

All of them. Just get a full team of eeveelutions. Rotate out a couple as needed, but just put together a full assortment of eeveelutions. You will regret nothing.

Edit: I have just been informed by my editor that this is “an inadequate response” and that I should “take legitimate questions seriously, Bill,” so allow me to revise the above statement.

Let’s assume that you’re either starting with an eeveelution of your choice or that you’re starting with an eevee that you have the option of evolving using any means possible soon after you receive it. (We can also assume that “any means possible” includes the method needed to obtain a sylveon, which evolves via a technique most easily performed in Kalos.) Let’s also assume that you intend on tackling the traditional order of the Sinnoh League circuit, which begins in Oreburgh and ends in Sunyshore.

That all said, which you choose depends entirely on your battling style and what the rest of your team will be by the time you reach Eterna. If you’re the sort who battles according to type advantages, the very first gym in the circuit is run by Roark, who is a rock-type specialist. Therefore, the easiest eeveelutions to have with you would be vaporeon, leafeon, or possibly glaceon, whereas the most challenging eeveelutions to have would be flareon and jolteon. However, the second gym is run by grass-type specialist Gardenia, which means glaceon will have the overall best advantage for the first two gyms, followed by leafeon (which has a defensive advantage against its own type).

By the time you clear these gyms, you should gather together enough pokémon that the rest of the circuit will depend less on what type your eevee has become, although it certainly doesn’t hurt to take these into consideration. Which is to say after the second gym, glaceon may struggle with Maylene unless you’ve obtained support in the form of a psychic- or flying-type (of which there are numerous options in Sinnoh), as well as Byron (who should really be approached with fighting-types anyway). Vaporeon will face far more struggles thanks to Pastoria’s water-type gym and Sunyshore’s electric-type gym, and leafeon should be brought nowhere near Snowpoint’s ice-type gym. Again, though, all of these have counters in the form of Sinnoh’s native pokémon.

On the other hand, if we consider average battling capabilities, espeon has an excellent distribution of speed, offensive, and defensive abilities, making it one of the easier eeveelutions to train. Taking into consideration the fact that its type is neutral to the first two gyms and effective against the third, espeon may be your best choice, but you’ll encounter difficulties against ghost-type specialist Fantina, as well as against Elite Four members Lucian and Aaron. Alternatively, there’s jolteon, which is slightly faster than espeon, but it’s slightly weaker, it lacks physical defenses, and it will run into trouble with not only Roark’s partial-ground-types but also Byron’s, as well as Volkner’s electric-types.

In my personal opinion, however, it’s much better to go with a more defensive pokémon if you’re starting out than one that can hit quicker and faster, which means either flareon or umbreon would be ideal choices. It should be noted, though, that although flareon excels in defending against special attacks, it does not do so well in defending against physical ones, which is a problem when going up against Roark’s gym. However, if trained well, it would be an effective team member, especially in light of the fact that fire-types are rare in the Sinnoh region, whereas many of the obstacles you may face might require the assistance of one. Meanwhile, while umbreon has the best overall defenses of any of the eeveelutions (never mind type advantages against both Fantina and Lucian), it’s also the slowest and weakest offensively. However, umbreon’s defenses are so impressive that the trick with training it is simply to chip away at an opponent while they struggle to defeat you.

As for sylveon, it’s not exactly a terrible choice at all, but it should be noted that a fairy-type would struggle against Byron, Flint, and part of Aaron’s team. On the other hand, it would excel against Maylene, and it boasts decent—but not necessarily excellent—offensive and defensive capabilities (but rather unimpressive speed).

In short, for a beginner, it depends. If you focus on type advantages, leafeon may be the best choice, all things considered. Espeon and flareon are the best for those interested in offensive pokémon, and umbreon is the best in terms of defensive trainers. Get a jolteon if you wish for something speedy.

But really, all of them are excellent choices.