Wait, do people make biopics of Champions? Don’t they tend to change over every few years?

Oh, they make biopics of everyone they consider interesting these days. It doesn’t cover everything, mind you. Just interesting parts of their lives. Sometimes even only single events. Cynthia just happens to be a particularly interesting figure, being one of the first female champions of the Sinnoh League, and when I say that little tidbit of hers was a regional headline, I mean it was a regional headline.

So it was only natural that filmmakers jumped at the chance of making a movie about it because, well, that’s how the film industry is, from what I understand. It just so happened that a sensitive screenwriter got behind it and actually worked with Cynthia to produce it, and Cynthia herself apparently didn’t mind.

As for changing, champions actually change more frequently than a few years. You’d be lucky to hold onto the title for more than a month. Still, Cynthia’s managed to hold onto it for quite some time, and even then, how long you’re champion is irrelevant compared to whether or not you did anything remarkable before/during/after that point. If how long you’ve been in office were the only criteria for getting a movie made about you, we certainly wouldn’t have many films about American politics, would we? 

But yes, if you’re an interesting enough figure in the public sphere, there’s a good chance that someone will try to make a movie about you, even if you’re: A) still alive and B) not nearly old enough for it. And on that note, may I just say Pirates of Saffron City is wildly inaccurate? You should still see it because it’s hilarious, but don’t go into it thinking you’re watching something educational.

Bill, you’re literally the only person I know who would describe a film about his own life as a “must see because it’s hilarious.” —LH

Well, the only person who’s actually had one made, anyway. —Bill

Hello! I’m a farmer with a pet charjabug named Bubble. However, recently I took her to the city for the first time and she got odd looks. After looking into it, I found out that not all charjabugs don’t have a grey tint! Is there a reason why she’s grey? She isn’t sick, she’s always healthier than I am! Thanks a bunch!

If she hasn’t always been gray and you’re noticing now that she’s a bit of a grayish-green, there’s a possibility that she’s very close to molting, actually. For insect pokémon, molting can be a long process that can take months (as they’re larger than most things that molt and thus require a lot of energy to do so), and in some cases, the process can change a pokémon’s color slightly as the exoskeleton begins to separate from its body. If this is the case (and you’ll know if you can recall a time when your charjabug was more vibrant and maybe a bit perkier), then your next step is simply to make sure she has plenty of food, water, and soft bedding and … wait. It’s likely that Bubble will begin breaking free from her exoskeleton within a week.

If she hasn’t always been gray and you’re noticing now that she’s a bit of a cross between gray, green, and blue, then it’s also possible that she was exposed to a source of high magnetism or electricity and is attempting to evolve. If this is the case, you’ll need to make sure she actually wants to evolve. If yes, hook her up to a source of electricity (it won’t hurt her, I assure you) and allow her to draw as much as she needs to complete the process. If no, then you’ll likely have nothing to worry about, but keep her away from high-powered magnets and indoors during thunderstorms.

Finally, if she’s always been that color, there’s a possibility that it’s simply genetic. Off-colored pokémon are rare but normal, and it may be that you’re lucky enough to own something on a far end of the color spectrum for what a charjabug looks like. Congratulations, anonymous!

Regardless of the cause, rest assured that Bubble is indeed very likely happy and perfectly healthy.

Brigette has been voted world’s hottest Pokémon Storage System developer!

Actually, you wouldn’t be wrong. There are polls about this. —LH

Okay, first of all… —Bill

And second of all… —Bebe

Bebe, you don’t even go here. But if it makes you feel any better, you’re third place. Behind Cassius. —LH

Oh, that’s fair. —Bebe

Where do I place on this list?! —Bill

Lanette, come on! I can see you’re still online! —Bill