Can magnemite evolve to magneton on their own, or do they always need other magnemite to fuse with? Same goes for beldum and metang– do I have to worry about my beldum going out and fusing with another trainer’s beldum? (And, if so, who gets ownership of the pokemon?)

In the wild, yes, beldum and magnemite (and diglett, for that matter) need fellow pokémon to evolve. This is largely because these pokémon don’t naturally gain enough energy on their own, but they can gather this energy by pooling their resources together. When tamed, though, trainers will usually develop their pokémon’s abilities, which in turn allows them to develop the energy reserves needed to evolve on their own. Thus, these pokémon essentially undergo a form of budding that allows them to create clones of themselves in order to evolve. This may sound disturbing, but because evolution is often spontaneous, most trainers are fortunate enough not to see this process happening.

Slowpoke undergoes a similar transformation, by the way. The only difference is that in the wild, they simply force innocent shellder to merge with them, rather than members of their own species. Slowpoke are, truth be told, extremely terrifying once one gets past their slowness and innocuous appearances.

Regarding object-mimic pokemon– which comes first, the pokemon or the object? For example, did people model leis after comfey, or did comfey evolve to look like leis?

It depends. For the most part, the two are actually unrelated. Comfey, for example, simply likes to collect flowers and does so in the way that’s most efficient for its species. Leis, meanwhile, come from a rich cultural background that has less to do with comfey and more to do with the tapu.

On the other hand, sometimes, objects are indeed tied to pokémon or vice-versa. For example, punching bags were absolutely inspired by the wobbuffet line (right down to their general shape), and if you believe in certain ancient legends, many languages were based on unown shapes. (The modern-day language of Common also based its writing system on unown markings, which is why many of our letters seem blocky and thick.) Conversely, sometimes, objects come before the pokémon, especially in the case of many ghost-types, which tend to inhabit objects. (Banette, the honedge line, and dhelmise are all examples of this.) Then of course, you have the voltorb line, which looks the way it does because of an object, but it’s more because an accident or other strange happening involving said object led to the creation of the pokémon.

Alternatively, some pokémon appeared much later in time, and scientists theorize that these pokémon actually adapted themselves to look like inanimate objects in order to better interact with humans. The drifloon line, for example. Or the trubbish line for an example that doesn’t involve consuming the souls of the living.

i’m suing, bill

Oh, please do. For whatever reason, both the Pokémon Cutting-Edge Technology Research Center and the Pokémon Association have teams of lawyers they’ve hired to cover the things I do and say, so I might as well get their money’s worth.

Bill, they’re not your personal lawyers… —LH

Let’s be honest with each other, Lanette. There is literally no difference between my private and professional lives at this point, so close enough. —Bill

Hey Bill. My new Dragalge and I were surfing recently when I got caught by a riptide; luckily he was there to save me, but he may or may not have scratched me in doing so. There aren’t any noticeable marks or localized pain, but I’ve been running a fever all week with headaches, general stomach issues, and fatigue. I’m a poison-type trainer, this isn’t my first rodeo getting pricked, but I’m not as versed in Kalosian Pokémon as I might be. Is it possible he accidentally poisoned me?

There’s a very good chance, I’m afraid, as both of dragalge’s primary natural abilities can cause poisoning upon contact. It wouldn’t hurt to consume pecha berry extract or administer a general antidote just in case, but if the fever persists after that, consider taking yourself to the doctor to run a few tests on waterborne illnesses instead.

Hey Bill? Do you follow any sport teams? like the Electabuzz baseball team?

To the surprise of perhaps absolutely no one, I don’t consider myself much of a sports fan. I like some sports (or at least the ones whose rules I can actually understand, such as baseball and soccer), but I don’t avidly follow any particular sports teams.

If anything, I generally root for Goldenrod-based teams, if only because I feel obligated to do so. So that would mean the Goldenrod Tauros, not the New Bark Electabuzz. This also means the Moltres basketball team and, if I absolutely must root for someone when it comes to soccer … the Cerulean Kingdra. Because Goldenrod Meganium fans are unsettlingly aggressive, and I refuse to associate with them.

Do all mimikyu choose to look like pikachu, or are there some that disguise themselves as other pokemon?

For whatever reason, mimikyu fixate on pikachu and pikachu alone (likely due to pikachu’s popularity as a mascot, actually, but that’s a subject for another ask). While it’s possible to give a mimikyu another costume and while it’s possible for a mimikyu to temporarily don another costume of a popular pokémon (such as clefairy) in order to attain that level of popularity, they’ll generally go back to their pikachu costumes rather quickly, I’m afraid.

If someone were to crossbreed two differently-colored vivillon, would the offspring simply look like one parent or the other, or do the wing colors have incomplete dominance and the child would end up with a mix?

Actually, wing color depends entirely on environment, rather than solid genetics. More specifically, the temperature and general weather that the egg is exposed to upon being laid will dictate what type of vivillon wing pattern the hatchling will have later in life. So for example, even if you had a tundra vivillon mating with a sun vivillon, if the environment that they’ve nested in is temperate and home to an abundance of trees native to Japan (ideal conditions for elegant or meadow vivillon), then the resulting hatchling will end up being either elegant or meadow in variation, rather than either tundra or snow. Scientists believe this is a sort of evolutionary survival technique in which the vivillon have essentially managed to adapt traits that enable its offspring to survive, even when displaced or born during the vivillon’s life-long migrations.

Hey Bill~ So a very long story short, my Eevee that I was planning to evolve into a Jolteon got into a spot of trouble and ended up a Vaporeon! He’s not unhappy about it and the rest of my team have had no issue adjusting to the change either, but the problem is that all my other pokemon are electric types!! What’s the best way that I can keep training Vaporeon along with the rest of them given the type difference? I don’t want him to get hurt but I don’t want him to feel left out either~

If you’ve got a pokémon with the special ability Lightning Rod, ensure your vaporeon sticks to them as much as possible. That should keep him safe, regardless of what happens during training. Additionally, take this as a blessing in disguise of sorts: use your vaporeon’s newfound strengths to your advantage. (That is to say, partner your vaporeon up with your other electric-types on the battlefield, as electric’s biggest weakness, ground, is no match to your vaporeon’s water-based abilities.) Finally, if possible, obtain and grow wacan berries, as these can decrease the effectiveness of electric-type attacks. Your vaporeon may benefit from holding them during training sessions as extra protection.

Otherwise, the only advice I can offer is be extra vigilant about keeping an eye on your team and ensuring that their abilities are kept in check. I know that’s not particularly helpful advice, but it’s probably the most practical for this situation, I’m afraid—terribly sorry about this!

Best of luck, anonymous!

Is it possible to spay a bird pokemon? I have a female pidgey who has become close friends with a wild taillow who keeps coming into our backyard who happens to be male. I’d like to keep their friendship going but I’m not sure if I’d be prepared to take care of any eggs or hatchlings they might have. If it isnt possible, do I just need to supervise them all the time?

While it’s possible to spay a bird pokémon, it’s extremely difficult and could lead to complications that, in short, means it’s not worth trying unless the pokémon’s life is somehow jeopardized by being intact. That having been said, I’m afraid that’s about all you can do, anonymous, other than training your pidgey to ward off unwanted advances on her own and to avoid mating if at all possible. The only other suggestion I can make for this is to look into options for rehoming eggs in a humane manner, just in case.

Dearest Bill, I have come into contact with a somewhat injured Pokemon, but I as of right now do not know what this Pokemon is. It was too hurt to move to the pokemon center, but I have managed to bring it to stable levels, and it is resting, as of now. Forgive me for being a little out of the loop, as I moved from Sinnoh, but, pray tell…. Do you know the proper methods for taking care of a pokemon known as “Thundurus?”

As a matter of fact, I do!

The first thing you should do when taking care of Thundurus is nurse him back to peak physical health. I would advise having a Nurse Joy perform a house call in order to get the best advice for this situation.

Then, when Thundurus has recovered enough to fly and hold his own in battle, release him back into the wild—honestly why are so many of you intent on seeing the catastrophic destruction of our world?!