Hi Bill! Is shedding skin painful for Pokémon? My Arbok is usually chill, but lately he seems rather uncomfortable and a bit snappy. I’ve noticed him rubbing his body against anything from my desk, door frames, walls and even trees outside. I’m worried that something might be wrong with him… How can I help?

Not entirely painful, no. It’s simply uncomfortable because the skin beneath is tender, and the displeasure is meant to encourage an arbok to shed. Still, the vulnerability that a pokémon experiences as they shed their skin, as well as the tenderness of their new skin, is very much liable to make them irritable and defensive. However, rest assured this is perfectly natural. All you need to do is keep an eye on your arbok and make sure he’s in a comfortable environment (that is, his normal requirements, plus perhaps a rock or rough surface to rub against). Pay particular attention to how much water he has; it’s vital that an arbok remain hydrated throughout the shedding process.

Also, check in with him regularly to see how his shedding is going. If it seems like he’s struggling to remove some part of his skin, you may help him by gently rubbing that skin towards the tail with a damp paper towel until it falls off. Just be sure that your arbok will allow you to do this first, of course. You may wish to communicate clearly (by telling him) what you intend on doing, just to avoid startling him.

Best of luck!

If you had to, or could, rename any Pokémon, what would it/they be?

Either dragalge or dhelmise. The both of them would get far, far simpler names like “inchor” or some sort of ghost and anchor pun for the latter and, I’m not sure, perhaps “algon” or some other portmanteau of “dragon” and “kelp” or “algae” for the former. Regardless, they both have ridiculously difficult names to spell, and I’m not simply saying this because spelling is not my strong suit. I’m saying this especially because spelling is not my strong suit, and thank the gods I have someone who’s willing to read my papers before they’re published, else I wouldn’t have much of a career.

Bill, in the course of doing some research, I realized there are naturally occurring populations of the Magnemite line in every known region. To the best of my knowledge, they’re the only species to have this. So I had two questions, a) do you know why this is? And b) why Magnemite of all things? Magnemite’s ecological niche is so narrow, I’m surprised that more adaptive pokemon wouldn’t have spread farther afield.

You’d be surprised. In truth, magnemite breed anywhere there’s human settlement. They feed off of electricity and trash, so anywhere there is urban development—especially abandoned urban development—magnemite and/or its evolutions will be there. A bit like cockroaches, actually, only if cockroaches were larger, made of steel, and liable to electrocute you. They might not seem all that likely to adapt, but then again, they don’t exactly need to. Their specific food sources are plentiful enough that they quite simply don’t have to struggle for survival. All they have to do is breed enough in their chosen environments and perhaps resist most things that try to kill them.

In other words, to answer both of your questions at once, magnemite aren’t entirely numerous or adaptive; they’re more likely to form small communities in urban areas, as they’re attracted to high concentrations of electricity. Of course, it’s impossible to say for certain how every single magnemite population came to be, although the going theory is that they simply come attached to heavy construction equipment or other shipments from foreign areas, then detach, seek out an appropriate nesting area, and begin developing a population.

So … once again, very much like cockroaches, only if cockroaches were larger, made of steel, and liable to electrocute you.

(As for why few other species are quite as successful … that is a bit of a mystery too, admittedly, although it may have something to do with how excellent magnemite are at stowing away and allowing humans to carry them, even inadvertently, from one habitat to another.

Lanette! I was wondering, what’s your favorite contest category?

It’s a tie between tough and cute, actually! I’ve always loved watching cute contests, even now, as an adult. Who can say no to a parade of adorable pokémon, right? Every single cute contest is just a whole hoard of cute pokémon like skitty or clefairy doing their absolute best to show off through tricks and a lot of pink, and who can say no to any of that? Imagine a solid afternoon of nothing but cat videos, and you’ll have a cute contest.

As for tough contests, that comes more from my background as a coordinator. I have a lot of fond memories preparing for those because they’re not just a bunch of musclebound pokémon flexing for the judges, contrary to popular belief. No, there’s a certain level of creativity and skill to it: you need to know how to use the stage, your pokémon’s strength, and your entire arsenal of moves in the perfect combination to show off your pokémon’s physical abilities. What that means varies from pokémon to pokémon too. While some may excel in showing off fighting techniques and breaking entire slabs of concrete with precision strikes, others may be better suited to lifting boulders and tossing them across the stage with ease. You needed to incorporate everything into your contest strategy, and once you get on stage and face opponents who also have come armed with brilliant contest strategies … let’s just say it’s like being in a well-choreographed kung-fu movie. (Of course, kung-fu movies aren’t really my favorites, and I can’t say I enjoy watching a tough contest as much as I enjoy participating in one, but at least being in them was a lot of fun.)

In case anyone’s wondering, I can also answer what my least favorite contest is: smart. You may think that’s odd, given that I’m, well, of a certain subculture that enjoys things generally associated with intellectuals, but really, proving that your pokémon is smart is neither fun to do nor exciting to watch. What’s more, the participants in such contests can be … more than a little obnoxious, especially the male coordinators towards female competitors. I’m sorry, gentlemen, but I know what I’m talking about when it comes to pokémon. And anyway, I only have enough room in my life for one passionate and intelligent gentleman who won’t shut up if you paid him once you got him started, and I make an exception with him because he also respects me, treats me like an equal, and hits my soft spot for cute things by having the innocence and enthusiasm of an overexcited eevee.

Well, I hope to meet this gentleman someday. —Bill

I live in a pretty isolated area and we don’t often see Pokemon, much less crossbreeds, around but I recently came across Watt’s handbook on crossbreeds and the pictures are beautiful! Are hybrids more common as products of human intervention, or do they appear often in the wild as well? All the people living in my city have purebred (wild-caught or not) Pokemon; I’ve really only seen pictures of crossbreeds!

I’m afraid that the crossbreeds you’re referring to are purely hypothetical, anonymous. The truth of the matter is that all pokémon end up as one species or the other when two pokémon of different species mate. Additionally, traits of the species that isn’t presented are usually too subtle to be noticeable and typically don’t affect the pokémon in question. For example, if you have a pikachu mother and a clefairy father, the hatchling would be undeniably a pikachu—one that would look nearly indistinguishable from any other pikachu. If any of its clefairy heritage presented, it might do so in the form of slightly paler fur, pinker cheeks, or fur that tended to curl if allowed to grow out. It wouldn’t present itself as something as drastic as star-shaped cheeks or a clefairy body type.

Still, this isn’t to say the concept of hybrid pokémon isn’t fascinating. The idea of merging two pokémon together to get something new and different, with the abilities of both (or more) sources has captured the imaginations of human beings ever since we first encountered pokémon. And now with social media, it’s possible to share those ideas and what-ifs with a wider audience, which means the concept has, in my opinion at least, gotten far more creative than it has ever been.

Also, I quite agree that the art is quite lovely.

Hey Bill and Lanette, Diabteic Gardevoir Anon here again. She and I LOVE Goldenrod City! We’re thinking of taking a proper Vacation next, in Hoenn! I was Wondering if i could get a few Recommendations on where to stay and what to see over a 1 week period? and Could someone put me in contact with Bebe for Sinnoh Recommendations, or Cassius in Kalos, Amanita in Unova or Molayne in Alola? I’m so excited to go globtrotting further than Johto! We started a Change Jug to help with some of th expenses!

Excellent to hear from you again, anonymous! I’m afraid that’s quite a tall order for one post, though, especially given the fact that each region is a large place with many cities and landmarks to visit. My advice would be to do some cursory research into each city and pick out which ones would interest you the most based on your preferences. Each city and town has its own atmosphere, after all, with places like Lilycove City appealing to entirely different people than Fortree or Mauville. If we knew more about you, we may be able to narrow down the list and talk about one city at a time, as I had with Goldenrod.

Also, I must admit certain developers might perhaps not be the best people to ask. Cassius, for example, is a wonderful person, but the places he typically frequents are a bit more … intense and underground than most people would enjoy. Amanita, meanwhile, is a bit too young to have a diverse set of experiences with her home region (and she hasn’t lived in Castelia for that long). Finally, Bebe … well. She’s enthusiastic, but there are times when she, too, comes up with suggestions that … perhaps should not be followed. Molayne is quite possibly the only one I can imagine would give sound advice on the matter (aside from Lanette, of course); I would have to see if he’s willing, should you be interested in any of the Alolan islands in particular.

Re: anon who is concerned about their local guardian: for legendary pokémon, the grieving process can last considerably longer than what seems healthy to us. keep in mind that they often live for hundreds (or thousands!) of years, so their perception of time is different from ours. That said, it probably wouldn’t hurt to remind her that the people of her city are happy to lend their support should she want it! Do be very careful to follow the traditional customs if you plan to contact her though

Excellent suggestion as well—thank you, anonymous!

Dear LH, Are there any Certified Pokemon Psychiatrists? I live in the town of Alto Mare. I’m sure you’ve heard of the disaster brought upon us by Team Rocket? Can you recommend anyone or give advice for consoling a Grieving Pokemon? I and the rest of the town Worry for our Guardian.

LH: I’m sorry, anonymous, but the truth is … trainers are therapists for most pokémon. We’re supposed to be the ones to help pokémon heal from their past traumas through a combination of emotional support and raw love and patience. When it happens to a wild pokémon, there isn’t much help. This all is because although pokémon are largely sentient, they’re still in many ways animals, so the resources available to take care of them are very similar if not the same as the resources available to take care of our animal pets.

There is one option you might try, though: Nurse Joy. Unlike a vet for animals, Nurse Joys receive training in a pretty wide variety of fields, including some emotional therapy, and they’re open to making house visits to wild pokémon too. If someone hasn’t already, maybe ask your local Nurse Joy to go out to your guardian and give them a check-up and maybe a consultation.

Hoping the best for your guardian!

Wait, what’s with Ho-oh’s wings?

Excellent question. It’s an oath, anonymous. Those who identify as Johtonian (that is, a member of the religion, not simply someone from Johto) consider oaths such as swearing on Ho-oh or Lugia’s wings—whichever of the two you place at the center of your beliefs—to be equivalent to, say, “as God as my witness” or similar statements the more human-centric followings would make. In other words, it’s perhaps the most serious oath one could make, reserved for promises a person intends on keeping or die trying. Personally, while I do believe that Ho-oh exists, that the story of the Tower is true, that one day, Ho-oh will return to Johto, and that after we die, our souls may be reincarnated, I don’t consider myself a religious fanatic but rather an agnostic open to all possibilities. Still, as much as I don’t believe swearing on Ho-oh’s wings would actually result in my burning should I fail to fulfill my promise (as the story goes), I do like how it adds a certain dramatic flair to vows I actually do intend on at least trying my hardest to keep.

Incidentally, for those who might have wondered about the other Johtonian phrase I’m rather fond of, “blazes” is similar. It’s short for “oh Ho-oh’s blazes” or simply “Ho-oh’s blazes,” which is either an expression of shock or exasperation, depending on context. That one, I admit, is more of a force of habit—not only for myself but many Johtonians as well. The phrase originally began as a sort of prayer, invocation of Ho-oh’s protection (by asking for its sacred flames, rather than Ho-oh itself), plea for purification (by asking Ho-oh and its sacred flames to show you mercy for your sins), or some combination of all three, and it disseminated into our regional vernacular over time, to the point where even the nonreligious say it. There is even a popular rumor that says you can tell whether or not someone was from certain parts of Johto if you surprise them, and they say this. (The truth: No.)

There is also “Ho-oh burn you” or “Lugia take you,” which are both expressions of anger that you say to sworn enemies, but I avoid using either. For one thing, I find such intense negativity towards another living being rather counterproductive, not to mention counter to my own personal beliefs. For another, it’s a bit of a taboo to ask either legendary to do anything serious on your behalf, even if it is simply an expression.

In case you’re wondering, there are no expressions for the legendary beasts, as they’re often seen as messengers of Ho-oh and thus don’t offer blessings or curses themselves. Celebi, on the other hand, gets “Celebi’s blessings,” which is said on holidays as a greeting … or after one sneezes. The latter has to do with the highly outdated belief that your soul escapes when you sneeze, so asking for Celebi’s blessings is meant to stop time and allow you to catch your soul so you don’t die.

Wait, does that mean that in practical terms there’s a finite number of active evolution stones in existence? Can we run out??

Yes, I’m afraid. Like all natural resources, there is a risk that evolution stones will one day run out. However, because known veins of evolution stones are numerous at the moment and because there are limits on how much humans can mine at one time (not only for practical reasons but also safety), it’s doubtful that we’ll run out anytime soon.

Also, as I’ve said in my previous post, there are ways for discarded or “replanted” stones to be recharged, although this will take thousands of years. Still, in a way, that’s like any other natural resource as well. As much as humanity takes from nature, nature will likely find ways to right itself and heal over the damage done to it. The catch is that it always happens long after humans leave it alone.

That’s rather … bleak, don’t you think, Bill? —LH

Bleak but true. —Bill