#AMA Bill, Lanette (or any other devs who want to answer). What would your plan of action be if you found yourself abducted by an alien spacecraft? Happy holidays!

Happy holidays to you as well, anonymous!

BILL
Make friends with them, naturally. Imagine what we can learn from such a highly advanced race! We’d have knowledge of technology and worlds beyond our own star! So many opportunities to understand the very nature of our universe would open up instantly!

LH
Steal a piece of their technology, sabotage their transporter to transport me only, and beam myself back to Earth. Also naturally.

BEBE
Yeah, pretty much the same.

CASSIUS
That would be all of us, yeah. Except Bill.

AMANITA
I’d take a fuzzy alien pet if they have one and I knew it was benign, but then I’d run away to Earth.

BRIGETTE
Basically, what we’re all saying is that Bill’s the only one with weak enough self-preservation instincts to stay on board.

ALL, EXCEPT BILL
Basically.

#AMA. Are some of your answers as Bill/Lanette based on your personal opinions (hating milk, certain laws regarding relationships with pokemon…) or are they just things you believe would actually exist in the pokemon world.

{For the most part, I actually try to keep my personal opinions off the blog to avoid coloring posts with bias and whatnot. This is partially because I want to make what Bill says feel genuine (either genuinely his opinion or genuinely something that would happen in his world) and partly because I know that a lot of my opinions are unpopular ones in the fandom, lol.

I think the one thing that’s nearly based on my own personal opinions are the jokes Bill makes about Unova. I’m a New Englander transplant to New York, so part of Bill’s jokes are really me fulfilling my obligations as a self-respecting Bostonian at heart to make fun of New Yorkers. It helps that this version of Bill is the animeverse British one, so the other part of it is Bill fulfilling his obligation as a self-respecting British-descended foreigner to make fun of Americans. (We swear, we still love you. Bill’s just salty that you threw his tea into your harbor, and I’m just salty that a slightly more specific you believes the Yankees are better than the Red Sox.)

Other than that, most of the laws, culture, human-pokémon interactions, and even the science and other odds and ends are really the result of a lot of research, rather than my own opinions, and as such, they’re basically what I think is true about the pokémon world. Either that, or they’re really what I think Bill’s opinions would be about different pokémon or facets of his world.

But the milk thing? The milk thing is canon.}

Tapu KoKo entry please!

Why stop at just Tapu Koko?

Tapu Koko
The Land Spirit Pokémon
Type: Electric/Fairy
Official Registration #: 785
Entry: The guardian spirit of Alola’s Melemele Island. Supposedly the bravest of the four Alolan guardians, Tapu Koko is known for observing islanders and bestowing blessings upon worthy trainers. These trainers are then encouraged to undertake the island challenge, a type of journey specific to Alola, geared towards the training and selection of each element’s next kahuna. While Tapu Koko tends to be the most active tapu in selecting such individuals, it is also known for being the most capricious when it comes to deciding which among them actually becomes a kahuna. For this reason, trainers on Alola may start out on a journey to become strong enough to represent their island and elemental specialties, but they could very well find their lives veering off into an entirely different direction thanks to one of Tapu Koko’s sudden change of heart. Not that the author is complaining about such a process, of course. We did get Molayne out of such an arrangement. As well as a wealth of fantasy YA novels that seem to keep the editor happy.

Once again, Bill, I don’t judge you for your literary tastes. —LH

Tapu Lele
The Land Spirit Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 786
Entry: The guardian spirit of Alola’s Akala Island. It is said that this legendary pokémon scatters glittering scales as it moves and that these scales have the ability to restore one’s health upon physical contact. The latter is highly useful because as with all adorable, pink pokémon described on this blog, Tapu Lele is also infamous for being fantastically cruel and sadistic, and it’s both telepathic and capable of warping the fabric of space to create a strange and highly dangerous pocket dimension around its immediate area. In other words, you will very likely need these scales as Tapu Lele uses its psychic abilities to thoroughly destroy you.

Tapu Bulu
The Land Spirit Pokémon
Type: Grass/Fairy
Official Registration #: 787
Entry: The guardian spirit of Alola’s Ula’ula Island. Supposedly, this pokémon is extraordinarily lazy. Rather than attack an opponent head-on, it simply wills the vegetation around it to grow and ensnare the challenger before it delivers a devastating, close-range blow itself. Honestly, though, the author is intrigued by the fact that some people of Alola consider this to be evidence of Tapu Bulu’s laziness. If anything, it’s a brilliant strategy, and given how much effort the author has put into trying to will plants to do his bidding, he can safely say Tapu Bulu’s battle strategy is really much harder than it looks.

Not a good harvest, Bill? —LH

Oh, the garden was perfectly fine this year. It’s a certain half-plant, half-toad starter with a penchant for eating my crops after I explicitly tell him not to that’s the problem. —Bill

Tapu Fini
The Land Spirit Pokémon
Type: Water/Fairy
Official Registration #: 788
Entry: The guardian spirit of Alola’s Poni Island. This mysterious island guardian is supposedly the most laid-back of the four tapu. Unlike the others, who either actively seek out humans to observe (Tapu Koko) or toy with (Tapu Lele) or who actively avoid human contact altogether (Tapu Bulu), Tapu Fini prefers allowing humanity to do whatever it likes and will often only reveal itself to the truly worthy as a result. This may seem like Tapu Fini is putting in extra effort to avoid being detected, but in actuality, given the fact that her shrine is located in the highly unrelenting environment that is Poni Island, the fact that it surrounds itself with a dense fog full of danger, and the fact that the aforementioned shrine is called Ruins of Hope for a reason, it may be safe to say that Tapu Fini allows the environment to do much of the work when it comes to protecting her—much more than Tapu Bulu does, anyway.

bill no. dont touch the tentacled abomination of nature. go touch buzzwoles abs instead HOW IS IT SO RIPPED

That is legitimately a good question. I’m tempted to say the reason why it’s so well-toned is the same reason why machamp are, but machamp train in naturally rugged environments. We know so little about the Ultra Beasts’ home dimension that I can’t rightly say that buzzwole’s physique can be credited entirely to it without knowing for certain what that terrain is like.

Hmm. Maybe I should create a portal to the other dimension, just to see.

Bill, there is a really good reason why this is a bad idea. Her name is Lusamine, and her very nice and somehow not traumatized daughter is staying in your laboratory-slash-cottage right now. —LH

Woah there Bill. It’s best not to go messing around with Nihilego. Their toxins don’t just cause odd behavior, they turn your wants and desires up to eleven, usually making you evil as a bonus. Under the influence of these toxins, you might create a PC system for people! You could become the leader of an evil team and force the other PC mods to help you take over the world! YOU COULD TURN YOURSELF INTO A CLEFABLE!!! These are all bad ideas. Listen to Lanette. Don’t mess with the ultra beasts.

Okay, but what if I found a way to turn myself into a clefable and back without any further assistance? Now that would be an interesting idea.

No, it wouldn’t. —LH

Hello Bill. I was under the impression that information on the UBs was classified by the international police. Do they know you’re doing dex entries on the ultra beasts?

Well, they didn’t have a problem with my entries on mewtwo or genesect. Nor did anyone else have a problem with my entries on the Elite Four and the Kanto and Johto gym leaders. Or the legendary pokémon.

…come to think of it, I do a lot of entries many people should be at minimum mildly upset about, haven’t I? I wonder why no one’s ever said anything.

I think it’s the same reason why you can go about your business without being kidnapped by the criminal organizations that keep coming into existence, despite the fact that you’ve built a matter-to-data converter, a method of storing physical objects and organisms on a cloud-based system, a literal teleporter, a device that merges and separates two completely different organisms, a handheld device that detects a trainer’s “battle-readiness” via technology that might as well be artificial telepathy, and a working time machine. —LH

To be fair, several of those things are actually the same invention. —Bill

…those people also run on the same kind of logic that drove you to think that was the point. —LH

Could you talk about any of the ultra beasts

I could talk about all of them, anonymous, but I suppose the most appropriate place to start with the ultra beasts would be with the first one ever documented:

Nihilego
The Parasite Pokémon
Type: Rock/Poison
Official Registration #: 793
Entry: One of the Ultra Beasts, or strange pokémon that had appeared from another dimension. This jellyfish-like pokémon possesses strange and not well-understood powers, including the ability to teleport, open portals, and influence the human mind. Those who were exposed to this creature’s neurotoxins have reported erratic and often fervent or obsessive behavior, usually culminating in extraordinary feats for the sake of ripping apart the space-time continuum in the name of science and pokémon. Incidentally, the above-mentioned symptoms also describe the effects of hard liquor on the author, which also incidentally is a state that led to the creation of the Time Capsule, so if there are no objections, the author would like to propose an experiment involving himself, a nihilego, and a bottle of whiskey.

I have objections. I have a lot of objections to this plan. —LH

#AMA Bill and Lanette, favourite colours? Please go into full detail. This is important.

BILL
I fluctuate between red and purple. Both have always been bold, striking colors to me, but from a scientific perspective, being on the very edges of the visible spectrum, they’re also rather fascinating

LH
Green. No reason, really. I just like that color. Pink as well, actually, which either is why or explains how most of my favorite pokémon are that color.

#AMA for both of you. Pancakes or waffles? (The mun may answer too, whoever that may be…)

BILL
That depends. Are we referring to lactose-free pancakes and/or waffles? Because if not, then both would make me rather ill, but if we are referring to lactose-free variations, then I really have no preference. And no, colleagues, it has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t eat breakfast to begin with.

LH
Waffles. There’s something satisfying about using a waffle iron … and then topping your creation with an abundance of whipped cream and chocolate syrup.

Again, why do you like dessert for breakfast so much? —Bill

Because unlike some people, I understand that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so you might as well make it thoroughly enjoyable. —LH

{MUN
Pancakes! :D}

What are different care methods for alolan vulpix compared to normal vulpix?

There are actually a lot of similarities, anonymous. As both are vulpine pokémon, both require the same diet (meat, if not kibble), the same spaces (outdoors to relieve themselves and wide-open areas to run about indoors), and even the same toys (canine chew toys, balls, and soft toys, depending on preference). Moreover, both forms of vulpix share requirements with growlithe, houndour, rockruff, and other dog-like cousins; the difference is that vulpix, being foxes, are a little bit harder to housebreak and leash train. They can be, of course, but it takes a bit more time and patience due to their wilder natures.

The differences between an Alolan and standard vulpix lie in their tolerances to water and heat.

For example, the standard vulpix is partially a fire-type, and like most fire-types, it’s uncomfortable when exposed to high volumes of water. While, like its aforementioned canine cousins, the standard vulpix can be trained to endure water and thus handle a bath, it much prefers to self-groom or have a dry bath consisting of sand and a thorough brushing from its trainer. Additionally, its fire typing means it prefers warmer environments and will often breathe small balls of flame to warm itself up. As such, a trainer needs to be wary of allowing it anywhere near anything flammable, and it’s recommended that they keep their home above 65 degrees Fahrenheit.

By contrast, the Alolan vulpix, being an ice-type, has no problems handling water at all and should be bathed regularly to maintain the cleanliness of its cloud-like tails. However, Alolan vulpix also grow heavily uncomfortable in the heat and thus should be kept cool at all times, even in the summer. If it’s too warm, it may create ice shards around itself to cool itself off, which provide an entirely different domestic hazard for an unwary trainer.

Also, keep in mind that the standard and Alolan vulpix have different types of coats due to the fact that they adapted to different types of environments. The standard vulpix is a short-haired variety that rarely sheds, but it’s very proud of the way its coat shines. It’s necessary, then, for a trainer to brush their vulpix daily to maintain both the smoothness and the shine of this coat; otherwise, the coat becomes dull and matted rather quickly, leading to an irritable vulpix.

Alolan vulpix, meanwhile, are less demanding in terms of personality and more demanding in terms of practicality. As mentioned above, Alolan vulpix have cloud-like tails and manes, which means it’s necessary to brush them to keep their thicker, curlier fur free of dirt and other debris. Additionally, although Alolan vulpix don’t fare well in warmer months, they still have both a summer coat and a winter coat and will shed their fur to cycle through both. It’s not unusual to wake up one autumn morning to find much of your home covered in fluffy, white clouds of fur quite literally everywhere, so invest in a good vacuum cleaner and an equally good pet pokémon brush.