If Bill were here, I’m sure he’d have something aggravatingly witty to say about how this is one of the biggest questions plaguing all scientists.
But seeing as he’s not here, I can preemptively cut him off by saying I’m as real as you are, as far as I know.
Edit: Oh. Another text.
It reads, “wwww aggravatingly witty.”
…
Oh, that explains the popularity of sylveon in the furry community. I always assumed that it was because it’s cute…!
I’m sorry if I sound a little bit … uneducated about these things, readers. I’ve never thought to look into the furry community beyond the snippets I know about through Bill. It seems like the furry subculture is a lot more creative and thoughtful than I’d initially assumed, though, so clearly, I need to dig a bit deeper.
Although Bill has questioned his gender identity before, he hasn’t gotten that far with it.
Or, well. Do furries sometimes create fursonas with impossible gender expressions? As in, could you have a male salazzle fursona? Or a male chansey, female hitmonchan, etc.?
I’d look this up myself, but I know better than to run a search for certain things.
On the Origin of the Kantonian Ponyta: Actually, fossil evidence suggests that the reverse is true. Or, well, sort of. From what we can tell, ponyta and rapidash as we know them emerged on the Eurasian continent, which Kalos is part of. Eventually, those pokémon migrated eastward. Some managed to get to Kanto to develop an ancient regional variant, but this variant actually wound up going extinct, either on its own or through assimilation into the more common variant. The common or continental variant, on the other hand, arrived in Kanto and the rest of Japan from China and Korea sometime in the fourth century. Meanwhile, the Kalosean variety is descended directly from the first ponyta that appeared on the Eurasian continent, and it was domesticated by the Kalosean people long before Kanto had seen them.
On Armor: It’s possible, only in the sense that anyone would be uncomfortable if they had to dress up in full costume every single day. But joking aside, the armor you see in a renaissance faire is often crafted specifically for both historical accuracy and the comfort of the pokémon wearing it, so while it might be heavy, it’s usually not uncomfortable for a rapidash to wear it so long as it’s taken off between bouts.
Also, the armor has some level of practical use too: even though renaissance faires probably don’t use weapons that are actually designed to kill a person, getting struck with it while running at a full rapidash’s gallop will still hurt, but the armor helps take the brunt of the strike, at least.
On Stripes: Pigmentation can be a funny thing sometimes, so actually, yes! You may be looking at faint stripes. Either that, or it may be uneven brush strokes or an uneven trim, depending on where you’re noticing the stripes and how you groom your ponyta.
Partially.
The interesting thing about knowing Bill for so long is you learn pretty quickly that he’s just as human as anyone else, no matter what the media says and no matter how hard he tries to act like he’s not. So with that said, he can sometimes get a little jealous.
Whether he’s jealous of A) Steven in general, B) Steven because I pay a little more attention to him than to Bill when we’re all in the same room, or C) me because Steven pays more attention to me when we’re all in the same room is something I’ve never been able to figure out. I could ask him, but … you’ve seen how he acts whenever you ask him about his interests. It’s just as bad behind closed doors.
Edit: Really, Bill? This is what gets you to text me?
Thank you, anonymous! You’re valid too. ♥
No, sorry to say. I always thought the idea was a little nice, actually. Strange parts of the fandom aside, furries are so creative, and the idea of having an animal that describes who you are is a little … comforting. But I’ve never been able to feel strongly enough about a pokémon to see it as a representation of me. I just can’t get past seeing myself as anything other than human.
I know it sounds weird to be so forlorn about it, but besides the creativity, there’s also the empathy. It’s impossible for humans to think exactly like pokémon, but because furries already identify with something non-human, they can probably come close. That’s why I don’t think Bill’s research costumes would work for anyone but him. Even if I wore one, I wouldn’t be able to turn off the human part of my brain and let myself imagine what it’s really like to be a pokémon; I’d still keep thinking on a subconscious level, “I’m human, and this is silly.” Bill, on the other hand, turns that part of him off for a hobby, so it’s almost second-nature for him to put on a costume and let himself slip into the mindset of a pokémon for research. So I envy him a little.
…
Oh. So this is why he keeps going on for pages whenever he answers asks. Who knew it would be this easy to just talk…
Shockingly, it’s neither eevee nor clefairy, although he’s tried identifying as both at one point or another.
I would tell you what it’s been for the past few years, but I respect Bill too much to sacrifice a bit of his private life. All I can tell you is he’s lying when he says he doesn’t know what “scalie” means.
Oh! Yes! Canine pokémon shows judge absol and all other participants on a list of criteria based on ideals of each species and breed. Generally speaking, that means things like the quality of the pelt, balance, height, weight, teeth and strength of bite, the way the tail arches, etc. Absol are judged on these too, as well as a few extra criteria: the quality/strength/curve of the horn and the thickness and sharpness of the claws. Also, there’s usually a second round where participants are tested for obedience and the strength of basic attacks. In all, canine shows are very much like pokémon contests, but they focus more on the natural qualities and capabilities of each pokémon, rather than advanced style or strength.
Also, for the most part, most shows will consider absol to be canine pokémon as well, but there are a few that think of them as too different to count. It’s worth it to look at the rules for each show you’re interested in, although the largest ones (including the Camphrier Kennel Club, probably the most famous) will accept absol entrants.
Well, the important thing to know about ponyta and rapidash is that they don’t live indoors, contrary to what the cartoon will have you believe. They’re field pokémon, so therefore, a trainer should give them plenty of space to roam and exercise. A field filled with wild grass would work best. Contrary to popular belief, neither ponyta nor rapidash would set a grassy field on fire so long as they’re calm; rather, that’s what they eat and relieve themselves in, so in all, a large, grassy field is just home for them.
Of course, they can also live in a stable for short periods of time, and it’s a good idea to have one ready for them during rainy or other inclement weather. These stables should have stalls large enough for a rapidash to move comfortably from side to side—rapidash, not ponyta, because you never know if you’ll have an evolution on your hands. These stalls should be cleaned daily and stocked with fresh water and food (fodder, or hay and oats—rarely carrots and apples and never sugar cubes because these are all loaded with sugar that can disrupt the bacterial ecosystem of their digestive tracts). Also, if the weather is cold, give your ponyta or rapidash a blanket to stay warm. So no, they don’t live in libraries or wear dresses either. They do wear shoes, of course, but not the sort you see in the cartoon. They’re simply those bands of metal that a human needs to fix onto a horse’s hoof. (They also require daily maintenance.)
Ponyta and rapidash don’t have wings, so they pegasus type of ponyta unfortunately don’t exist. As for the unicorn type, those do in a way, as rapidash technically has a horn, but it can’t simply perform any kind of magic. It’s more that they can shoot beams of concentrated light, and even then, only if you use the TM system. Their fire attacks, on the other hand, actually come from the mouth because the fire gland for ponyta and rapidash is located in the throat (as it is for most fire-types), not the horn. Really, the horn of a rapidash is used more for impaling or jabbing than channeling attacks, so it’s much less … glittery than you would see in the show.
I know. It’s not as exciting as multicolored emissaries of friendship and love, but ponyta and rapidash are easy-going pokémon in their own right. While I wouldn’t recommend getting her a ponyta if she’s only seen the cartoon, maybe having her learn more about them through children’s books or by seeing one in person on a farm or at a breeding center might help her understand what real ponies are like. One of the great things about cartoons like My Little Ponyta is that they’re often the first step for young girls to gain an interest in pokémon; it’s just that they need the right materials and experiences to take the next step of learning what those pokémon are really like.
But if it makes things any easier, you can tell her that ponyta and rapidash do make wonderful friends.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, readers. I enjoy working with Bill; it’s just that sometimes, he can get a bit … difficult when it comes to things that he’s not doing professionally.
I have an idea, though. Because Bill is going to be unavailable to answer your questions until he agrees to behave, I’d be happy to answer questions on my own for the next couple of days. If you’d like to get my perspective on things, just address your asks to LH, and I’ll get to them as soon as I can.
Regular asks—including older ones—will resume on Monday.
—LH
The Pokédex According to Bill 