Bill, I understand your mother used to be a Kimono Girl. Would you know any pokémon good in traditional, slower dance that aren’t part of the Eevee line?

One thing to keep in mind about this question is that there are several types of Johtonian traditional dances that encompass a pretty large spectrum of purposes, traditions, and tones. While one might assume that “slower” would narrow down the field a bit, in truth, what’s more important to traditional dance is the intent, rather than the reputation of the pokémon involved; it’s possible, for example, to teach a scizor, a pokémon known for its speed, a slower dance if that’s necessary.

Just about the only true, consistent rule among all Johtonian dances is that the pokémon involved must have been obtainable among the entertainment and religious classes during our feudal era. That of course doesn’t restrict dancers to just pokémon listed in the Johto Regional Dex; rather, it restricts them to what was actually either native or easily imported at the time. (Eevee had been a common domestic pokémon since recorded history. The going theory is that they arrived here with merchants back when we traded with China, before our isolationist period.) Well, that and the pokémon must fit and dance on a stage in the first place, which means gyarados and members of the onix line are right out, as are some of the less nimble pokémon, such as forretress and meganium. Chikorita and bayleef are still fine, however.

With that lengthy preamble in mind, I’ll just quickly say that practically every pokémon has been used within the entertainment classes—that is, within the Jouto kabuki and Noh theaters. Of the two, Jouto Noh tended (and still tends) to employ more humanoid pokémon such as jynx, as the dance style of Noh theater requires participants to move in very precise, often synchronized fashions. Jouto kabuki, by contrast, is a little less rigid in nature (not saying that Noh is unenjoyable to watch, of course), and as such, there’s more creative freedom when it comes to choreography.

There is, of course, a third general type of dance for entertainment purposes—the Jouto buyo—which differs from the above in that whereas Noh and kabuki use dance to tell a story, the point of Jouto buyo is entertainment derived from the dance itself. (To give you a better idea of what this is, it’s often the form of dance foreigners associate with our form of geisha. Kimono girls, when not participating in ritualistic dance, often perform this as well.) Nonetheless, there is often a point or underlying meaning to each dance, usually associated with nature, and a dancer will often choose a pokémon that closely relates to such a meaning. For example, one of the most famous of these dances, the Sakura Dance, is often performed with bellossom, vileplume, or sunflora, due to their abilities to use Petal Dance and Petal Blizzard to enhance the performance while still keeping up with the dancer herself.

Outside the theater, though, dance takes on an entirely different and perhaps far more intimate meaning to Johtonian culture. You see, a lot of our art is derived from our belief system, and by extent, dance and music is often considered our means of communication with our gods, the spirits, the natural world, or some combination thereof. In other words, most Johtonian dances have meanings to them, and what message you wish to convey to the natural or spiritual worlds will often dictate which pokémon you can incorporate into your routine.

For example, the reason why the kimono girls of Ecruteak City, my mother included, relied on eevee and its evolutions is because those pokémon are closely tied with Ho-oh. It’s said that eevee can evolve into “a different color of the rainbow” (that is, a form that matches Ho-oh’s seven colors), so dances meant to communicate directly to Ho-oh are either done by eevee trainers or performed alongside eevee and its evolutions to evoke Ho-oh’s rainbow—and only by either of these. (There are other rules, of course. For example, men can’t perform the dance because it’s said men angered the gods enough to drive them to destroy Lugia’s roost and chase both birds from Ecruteak City, so if you’re male and you don’t have an eevee … you’ll have to be content with prayers at a shrine.)

The other gods, of course, are less strict about what you can and can’t use. For example, dances meant to honor or pray to Celebi can be performed with any pokémon that can normally be caught in Ilex Forest, although butterfree, beedrill, and golduck tend to be the most popular for their grace. Additionally, Celebi is said to be fond of “baby” pokémon, so some dancers employ pichu, smoochum, or togepi instead. As another example, dances dedicated to the legendary trio are often done with pokémon of matching elements to the specific legendary being honored (water-types such as starmie for Suicune, fire-types such as magmar for Entei, and electric-types such as ampharos for Raikou—with those three being particularly popular), and Lugia is often honored with dances that incorporate flying-type pokémon’s wind-based techniques (with many dancers choosing noctowl or xatu as partners).

Our festivals, too, often involve pokémon dancers that are closely linked to the dance’s purpose. Take our agricultural festivals, for example. (That is, take any one of them. Many Johtonian cities have more than one, with the exception being the coastal cities of Goldenrod, Cianwood, and Olivine, all of which were originally merchant or fishing settlements closely tied to seafaring festivals.) The agricultural festivals were often designed to either pray for rain and fertile grounds or give thanks for bountiful harvest thanks to these two things, so dances often called for either water- or ground-type pokémon—often both. As such, members of the wooper line are often vital to the more agricultural cities of Johto. Some towns also use grass-types, such as and especially bellossom and bellsprout, to encourage healthy crops. Poison-types are absolutely never used (with the exception of bellsprout, of course)—even if they’re partially grass-types—nor are fire-types, as using either is said to curse the crop to either never grow or to grow withered and inedible.

On the other hand, fishing and seafaring dances (as you would see in Cianwood, for example) may employ flying-type pokémon (such as noctowl again) to pray for good winds, water-type pokémon (usually golduck or starmie) for smooth sailing and bountiful seas, or simply normal-types (such as meowth) for luck. It’s taboo in those cases to use ground-, grass-, or rock-type pokémon, as these are thought to instill bad luck on a village’s fleet (because using these pokémon is asking for a ship to be “sent to the earth”—or, in other words, to sink).

With both types of dances, fighting- and psychic-types are often also employed to represent either humans (the fighting-types) or Lugia and Celebi (the psychics). Fairy-types are rarely if ever used because it’s said their fairy magic is volatile and unpredictable and thus could interfere with the meaning of the dance. They are used, however, in winter festivals, festivals to honor children, or festivals that are, in general, meant to celebrate life or bless a village with good luck. (Thus, they’re especially popular during new year festivals. Togepi and clefairy especially so, due to their supposed abilities to grant happiness upon those who see or care for them.)

Otherwise, many of the other festivals employ a vast array of different pokémon. Ice-types such as jynx and sneasel for winter dances (although dark-types are never used during the new year festivals to avoid inviting bad luck or evil spirits to a settlement), electric-types for summer dances, and so on and so forth. Just about the only type that’s universally considered to be taboo to use is the ghost-type, as these are only to be used for funerals and in festivals dedicated to the dead (because dancing with ghost-types traditionally represents dancing with actual spirits). It should be noted, of course, that for us, this isn’t exactly a somber event; rather, honoring our ancestors or the spirits of the dead in general is considered to be a celebration due to our culture’s emphasis on celebrating the good things done in life and the meaning of life itself. Thus, these dances can be a bit more colorful than Westerners may imagine, and the pokémon themselves tend to feel honored to participate.

So in short, it really depends on which dance you’re referring to or what you need to convey through dance. For the most part, pretty much anything that’s small enough to fit on stage and nimble enough to keep up with a dancer is fair game.

Bill, I’m in an interesting situation. My Espeon is a Pokemon a befriended the “old fashioned” way. She doesn’t have a pokeball, basically. I scheduled an appointment to have her spayed, and on the day of, she escaped! We located Her a few weeks later and immediately went for that appointment… only to find she has a litter on the way now! What do I do with a litter of eevees I wasn’t expecting?!

Well, anonymous, you can do what I always do and offload them onto your friends and trustworthy-looking trainers.

Edit: My editor has informed me that this is a terrible idea, but I respectfully counter with the fact that all of those eevee, as far as I’m aware, are still alive and happy with the people I’ve given them to.

Should any of us tell him we offloaded his eevee onto other trainers? —Bebe

No, let him live his life. Just add in a note about considering humane pokémon shelters or leaving them with pokémon centers in the tags or something. —LH

My chimchar, Hestia, has a bad habit of forgetting the fire on her back is lit and climbing on things and setting them on fire. How can I help her remember to be more mindful? She’s only a baby right now

Baby fire-types are always a bit of a challenge, anonymous, but in the case of chimchar, it may be manageable. You see, chimchar, as a primate pokémon, possesses a decent level of intelligence, so if you try to teach Hestia something simple, she may have an easier time grasping it than, say, a cyndaquil.

Or in other words, when she lights something on fire, turn her around and show her. Have her help you put out the fire and explain to her that the fire came from her. Train her a bit as well so she understands how to consciously use her flames, and teach her why she can’t simply set everything on fire in the same way you might teach a small child why they can’t do something dangerous.

Sometimes, trainers also find it helpful to give their chimchar a pokémon doll to carry around when they’re young. If their chimchar succeed in carrying it around without setting it on fire, they’re given a small treat during meals. If not, they have to put it out (and if they do this on their own, they might get a treat, although this might also encourage some chimchar to set it on fire in the first place). But by giving a chimchar something tangible and theirs to care for throughout the day, they gain a better grasp on their abilities and learn a bit quicker to control their back fires.

Most of all, though, be patient. As a baby, she’s prone to get into mischief, but by always guiding her with a gentle but firm tone, she’ll learn, little by little, as she grows.

Best of luck, anonymous!

Does Keckleon’s ability to change type rapidly make it more valuable for scientists researching how certain types of Pokémon react to stimuli?

You would think so, but kecleon’s often capricious nature makes them rather difficult subjects. Furthermore, triggering its special ability requires constant bombardment with attacks of the target element, as this is the best way to expose kecleon to an element thoroughly enough for it to change its alignment. It’s simply more reliable to use a pokémon whose type is verified to be the target on a consistent basis. 

That and constantly attacking a pokémon repeatedly before subjecting it to further testing tends to be frowned upon by most ethics committees.

I’m training in MMA, and I’ve been thinking of having a Fighting-type Pokémon train alongside me! Does that sound like a good idea? If so, what kind of Fighting-type Pokémon would be recommended for younger trainers (around 13 y.o.) in specific?

If you’re careful, it could be a good idea. More specifically, if you do this, be careful about which pokémon you choose. Quite a few fighting-types may be too eager or too rough for a human to train with, while some can tone it down (so to speak) to match the limits of their partners.

In particular, starters are very attuned to human partners and thus can adjust their power fairly easily. The downside, of course, is that no “official” starter line is part fighting in their most basic stages, so whichever you choose will need a bit of training before it can begin mastering fighting techniques. That said, of the three (technically four, if one counts chesnaught, although that requires more rigorous training than the others), the torchic line tends to be the most popular due to its flexible fighting style and the fact that it’s neither too fast to keep up with (as in the case of monferno and infernape) or nearly too bulky to train with (as with pignite and emboar). But really, any of them may make excellent choices.

Alternatively, if you can’t obtain a starter, machop tends to be both easy to obtain and easy-going in personality, and as such, it can make for a patient sparring partner. Meditite as well, particularly if you’re looking for a less aggressive approach. Members of the makuhita line are popular among fighters due to their bulk; they can take hits as well as show their human partners how to perform formidable punches of their own. Conversely, hawlucha and members of the riolu line are often sought-after as training partners due to their eagerness to train; it’s fairly easy to learn along with these pokémon as a result.

Whatever you choose, anonymous, always remember that training your pokémon is as important as training yourself. Be sure your pokémon understand your limitations and boundaries before engaging in any sort of training with a fighting-type.

Good luck, anonymous! Your journey sounds like it will be quite interesting, although I admit I don’t entirely know what MMA means exactly. I imagine it’s something like judo?


EDIT: After having discussed this entry with my editor, looked it up, discussed this entry again with my editor, and then discussed it with the lawyer who handles many of the issues surrounding my work, I am now obligated to add that I am not an expert in human sports or health and that neither I nor the editor are liable for whatever happens as a result of my advice concerning either of those particular subjects. I am also obligated to phrase that as “as a result of my advice, however ridiculously terrible it may be” for reasons I’ve been told I’m not allowed to question.

Bill, I’ve recently caught a Shiinotic. Do you have any tips on caring for him and making him as comfortable as possible?

Allow me to answer this for both morelull and shiinotic, as they’re both extremely similar in terms of needs.

The morelull is fairly easy to care for, but it’s also a bit of a challenge due to its behaviors. You see, both pokémon are strictly nocturnal. While it’s possible to train them during the day, they won’t thrive all that well unless you allow them to rest for at least part of the time that the sun is up. Some trainers find it easiest to train their morelull and shiinotic right at the early hours of the night (and then allow their mushrooms the rest of the time to do as they please), but others find it even easier to simply invert their own sleep patterns. Do whatever will be the most comfortable and convenient to you.

Beyond that, morelull and shiinotic need moist environments, preferably outdoors with a tree nearby. Give it a patch of moist soil underneath a tree in a yard if you can, but if you can’t, simply giving them a large pot with some herbs will do just as nicely. Shiinotic and morelull feed primarily by draining nutrients out of nearby plant matter, so it may be a bit of a challenge to keep enough plants on hand unless you have a yard. Otherwise, a shiinotic or morelull’s diet can be supplemented with kibble (so long as it’s soaked in water first) or overripe berries, but it’s still a good idea to give them a moist, dark place to rest during the day.

Both morelull and shiinotic aren’t that difficult to take care of beyond those two major points, as they’re easy-going pokémon that aren’t particularly demanding when it comes to enrichment or companions. Simply let them do their own thing during the night, and they’ll find ways to amuse themselves. However, in the morning, be sure to clean up your home or their enclosure. Vacuum or mop up—do not sweep—any glowing spores you come across. These aren’t exactly toxic to humans, but they are powerful sleep inducers and may lull new trainers to sleep within seconds. While you can build tolerance to your shiinotic’s spores over time, exposing yourself to his spores may still be an unpleasant experience, even then, and it certainly won’t be for guests. I would advise handling these spores while wearing a mask and gloves as well.

As for hygiene, just give a morelull or shiinotic a light spray with a water bottle every few days to clean off excess spores. Also do this while wearing gloves and a mask.

Other than that, as I’ve said, they’re rather easy to care for. Just be wary of their mischievous sides, as they are part-fairy.

Best of luck!

Bill, for some reason when I just read the ask about Ditto making good parents I thought it was asking if Ditto would make a good parent for human children. So now I gotta ask, would a Ditto make a good parent for a human child? Could I have a Ditto babysit human children?

The thing with ditto is that because they’re pokémon and not humans, they don’t fully understand human needs or society. (Granted, there’s always a possibility that there’s a ditto out there who does, but those are very likely extremely, extremely rare. And there certainly hasn’t been any documented case of such … probably for good reason, but that’s a tangent.)

So would they make good parents? Not really, no. They can provide basic care, but it’s unlikely they’d be able to provide the emotional support and general wisdom a human needs growing up and learning how to navigate our part of the world.

As babysitters, however, yes, most ditto have some level of baseline judgment skills that would allow them to keep human children out of trouble for short periods of time. Some might even be better babysitters than humans.

(Granted, why people leave small children in the care of teenagers is beyond me. Some of them can barely take care of pokémon.)

Bill. Remind me again how old you were when you moved out to the middle of nowhere on your own and became the storage system administrator of two heavily populated regions? —LH

Yes, but let’s be perfectly honest with each other, Lanette. Would you trust me with small, human children? —Bill

Fair point. —LH

I recently got out of a very abusive relationship and have physical and emotional scars to show what I’ve been through. My absol went through similar issues due to my ex now has a very strong fear and anger of men and stands between me and any man that tries to get near me, will growl as a warning but I believe he won’t hesitate to attack if someone were to be near me. What can we both do to heal our emotional wounds?

Recovery will always take time, anonymous, including and especially for emotional wounds. It’s important, for both you and your absol, to take it slow and take it easy. It might also be an excellent idea to talk to someone—Nurse Joys can provide such a service for both you and your partner if need be, if not suggest someone else who can.

In the meantime, outside of professional help, form bonds with others. Seek out a support group (both in literal terms and in the sense of a solid base of friends or family) who can help rebuild both your and your absol’s trust in humans in general. Once that trust is rebuilt, you may be able to move on and work on getting comfortable with men again, but again, don’t rush too much. It’s not unusual for some hurt to linger well past traumatic events, and pushing yourself when you’re not ready may open up old wounds.

If, however, you mean what should you do if your absol tries to attack a man on the street, again, training is of the utmost importance. As difficult as this may be, teach your absol the difference between a threat and a non-threat. Have him learn how to trust his instincts again too. His abilities are his best means of figuring out what is and isn’t a danger to you, but he’s become so fixated on what has already happened (perhaps through his guilt of being unable to prevent it) that he seems to be relying on the past as his means of judgment, not his ability to read the future. Speaking with a professional, comforting him, and retraining him, in combination, should be able to help him heal enough to learn how to use his species’ inherent powers again.

Best of luck, anonymous!

Hey Bill: I was reading my Pokedex on Aerodactyl, and Mega Aerodactyl, and then I read your entry about it, and other fossils and I noticed you didn’t have any information about Mega Aerodactyl. Are what scientist say about Mega Aerodactyl being it’s true appearance a widely accepted thing, and does it have any truth in it? I am extremely interested in this flying fossil friend and/or foe.

Ah yes. I should get to those mega evolution entries someday.

[Yes. Yes, you should. As you’ve said more than a year ago. —LH

Patience, Lanette. Good things take time to produce. —Bill

You designed the storage system in a month. —LH

…touché. —Bill]


On a serious note, anonymous, that’s actually a point of contention within the scientific community. Some scholars say that mega aerodactyl is what the species had looked like in ancient times, yes, but others say there’s actually no fossilized evidence that this is the case. If you look at the rock surrounding an aerodactyl fossil, the type of stone surrounding the skeletal structure is often uniform in nature, meaning the stone protrusions the pokédex claims were originally there are, well, not. Moreover, aerodactyl is traditionally revived through samples of old amber, which preserves the structure of tissue much better than fossilization does (for, well, obvious reasons included in the definition of “fossilization” itself). Yet no sample of old amber exists with any such stone fragment, not even in the famous sample of old amber found recently that successfully preserved a considerable amount of ancient aerodactyl tail. For that reason, I’m personally skeptical about the pokédex entries myself, as much as it pains me to admit that I disagree with reports vetted by a distinguished member of the Pokémon Symposium.

As for whether or not mega aerodactyl’s violence can be attributed to the strain its physical form places on it, I’m admittedly just as skeptical. It’s uncommon but not unusual for a pokémon to undergo some level of personality change when mega evolving, just as they do when simply evolving, and aerodactyl is a notoriously difficult to tame pokémon to begin with. It’s likely that the violence mega aerodactyl displays is merely the result of the freedom it gets from its boost in power, rather than specifically due to the form it’s forced to take or the process itself.