Tag: bold text

Do you ever look at a pokemon and wonder why it evolves in “that” way? Also what’s the first pokemon that came to mind when you thought about the previous question?

Octillery.

What? It’s an octopus-like pokémon that evolves from a remora-like pokémon! Their ecological niches are entirely different, and they don’t even share remotely the same sets of adaptations. There is literally no reason why these two should be related in any way, yet they are. And the worst part of it is I can’t even explain it without perhaps squinting at them both and saying something about how remoraid’s specialty in gun-like shooting attacks somehow causes it to evolve into the tank-like octillery, but that doesn’t even make sense! It’s just baffling! It’s one of the biggest puzzles to pokémon science right now, and on Ho-oh’s wings, I will solve it one day.

I can’t tell whether you’re excited or angry right now. —LH

Both! —Bill

What’s your opinion on Professor Kukui? I’m not sure if you’d consider someone who gets research grants to play with his dog to be shameful or a genius.

Professor Kukui is absolutely a genius. Why can’t I get research grants to play with a dog?

In case you’ve forgotten, you got one to summon a mythical pokémon with strobe lights. —LH

And another one to “study the behaviors of extinct pokémon through the application of full-scale tactile immersion techniques.” —LH

Then the Pokémon Cutting-Edge Technology Research Center gave you one to “study the calming effects of slowpoke,” which is to say they literally gave you a grant to sleep on the job, and they’re a tech company. —LH

I am thoroughly convinced that if you walked up to anyone and asked for a grant, there is a very good chance that you’d get it. Not that I’m encouraging you to do what Kukui does, as he is also known for encouraging his dog to use him as a punching bag for reasons that I’ve once asked Burnet about but still didn’t fully understand. I mean, yes, Kukui’s methods may be questionable at best, but they actually do produce valuable results concerning the power of pokémon attacks. Sure, your research is valuable too; don’t get me wrong. But the point is, given Kukui’s methods, I don’t think you need the encouragement to use yourself as a test subject (again) as Kukui often does. —LH

Actually, the first one was paid for entirely with my own funds. —Bill

That’s what you object to? —LH

Hi Bill, I have an Excadril whose dream is to be a world champion Pokeathlete in the jumping events. What are some training regimens that will help him pierce the heavens?

Just tell your excadrill to believe in his trainer who believes in him. Go beyond the impossible and kick reason to the curb! Row, row, fight the power!

Bill. If you cram in one more outdated anime reference… —LH

Who the heck do you think I am?! —Bill

[BILL has been temporarily banned until [DATE], [TIME] for: We’ve talked about this, sir.]

Hello Bill! I’m going to move to an apartment soon. Due to the building’s code, I’ve had to make the decision to leave my longtime Noivern companion with my family. I was wondering if you had any suggestions for a loyal and friendly Pokémon, maybe even a guard, under 60 pounds (who’d melt a nasty landlord’s heart?) I’ve never owned an Eevee/-lution before — are they a good place to start? I’m also worried about “surprise evolution”, so I’d prefer not to go with anything that becomes too big.

I was wondering if you had any suggestions for a loyal and friendly Pokémon, maybe even a guard, under 60 pounds (who’d melt a nasty landlord’s heart?)

Eevee.

I’ve never owned an Eevee/-lution before — are they a good place to start?

Absolutely.

I’m also worried about “surprise evolution”, so I’d prefer not to go with anything that becomes too big.

Yes, get an eevee. 🙂

Bill. We talked about this. —LH

What? Eevee is a great companion for all your needs! —Bill

And there are an untold number of other pokémon to recommend too. —LH

But it’s cute, fluffy, easy to care for, and doesn’t shed! AND it takes effort to evolve one, so wins all around! —Bill

…fine. But just this once. —LH

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 —Bill

Brigette has been voted world’s hottest Pokémon Storage System developer!

Actually, you wouldn’t be wrong. There are polls about this. —LH

Okay, first of all… —Bill

And second of all… —Bebe

Bebe, you don’t even go here. But if it makes you feel any better, you’re third place. Behind Cassius. —LH

Oh, that’s fair. —Bebe

Where do I place on this list?! —Bill

Lanette, come on! I can see you’re still online! —Bill