Volbeat and Illumise

Volbeat
The Firefly Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 313
Entry: A small, firefly-like pokémon originally discovered in the forests and near the lakes of Hoenn. Famous for its light displays, the light a volbeat emits actually serves two functions, depending on the age of the specimen. Among older volbeat, these light displays are indeed for mating purposes, as commonly thought, but younger volbeat that have not yet reached the correct age for mating still produce light and gather its fellow volbeat. In their case, it’s simply to ward off predators, so if you see a swarm of young volbeat using Double Team above you, this is not, as the author thought on his first night in Hoenn, a “fantastic display of romance within the pokémon kingdom” but instead a clear indicator that the observing human is about to be attacked by hundreds of Quick Attacks and Tackles all at once.

Illumise
The Firefly Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 314
Entry: A larger, firefly-like pokémon originally discovered in the forests and near the lakes of Hoenn. The popular opinion that illumise are the “partners” to volbeat is actually a misconception (as the editor of this blog is very quick to tell the author while he writes this), and it is a misconception for two reasons. First, that would be sexist. Second, although illumise do indeed emit both light and a sweet fragrance to draw volbeat into their elaborate, luminescent nightly dances, those same illumise do not necessarily do it for mating purposes. Rather, some subspecies of illumise may mimic other subspecies’ light and fragrance patterns to lure males in and then eat them.

Pinsir

Pinsir
The Stag Beetle Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 127
Entry: A large, beetle-like pokémon native to the dark forests of Kanto and Kalos. Pinsir attacks by gripping their prey within their giant, thorny pincers and pulling until their victims are torn in half. While this is a terrifying tactic indeed, it should be rather interesting to note that pinsir lack the strength to open their pincers again, which means this pokémon may be easily defeated simply by holding its pincers shut. This is about as comical on the battlefield as one would think, especially when basic-level grass-types with Vine Whip are involved.

Pineco and Forretress

Pineco
The Bagworm Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 204
Entry: This pokémon is famous for its strong resemblance to pine cones, which is not entirely helped by the fact that it dwells primarily in the coniferous forests of Johto. It remains largely motionless as it hangs from trees, moving only to gather bark for its protective coat. Once complete, this coat is sturdy and more than capable of defending its pineco from attacks, but it also weighs more, which tends to result in exhausted pineco falling from their trees. There, pineco can easily be mistaken for fallen pinecones, which causes them to be picked up by humans and used for a variety of purposes, including—unfortunately speaking—fuel for fire. On the other hand, being used for fuel may be a slightly more dignified fate than being coated with glue and glitter and hung from elementary school windows and holiday trees, which happens quite frequently in this pokémon’s native Johto.

Forretress
The Bagworm Pokémon
Type: Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 205
Entry: The evolved form of pineco, by battle experience. Famed for its hard armor and ability to use the technique Spikes, this nut-like pokémon attaches itself to a tree, where it only emerges in second-long bursts to catch prey. Otherwise, it spends the majority of its time within its impenetrable shell, shooting shell fragments from its outer coat whenever anyone draws near. It is thus valued not only by trainers as a formidable defense but also by recluses—such as this author—as the symbol of ideal living.

Shelmet and Accelgor

Shelmet
The Snail Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 616
Entry: This snail-like pokémon is protected by a steel-hard shell. When threatened, it retreats into this shell and spits a sticky, poisonous acid onto the aforementioned threat. Both of these are fortunate adaptations, considering the fact that its main predator is also its own evolutionary partner. In short, shelmet has, over countless generations, slowly adapted its ability to survive the one process most pokémon undergo naturally. Because nature is a kind and forgiving mistress.

Accelgor
The Shell Out Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 617
Entry: The evolved form of shelmet, if the subject is traded with or drains a sufficient amount of energy into a karrablast. Without its heavy shell, this ninja-like pokémon gains the dexterity and speed to attack with relentless, acrobatic movements. This, of course, would give it a natural edge to its main predator, escavalier, the exact pokémon who stole its shell and used it as armor for its own body. However, the fact of the matter is that none of accelgor’s techniques are effective against escavalier’s bug/steel elements, and thanks to its missing shell, accelgor lacks protection against escavalier’s bold and relentless fighting style. Because, again, nature is a kind and forgiving mistress.

Karrablast and Escavalier

Karrablast
The Clamping Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 588
Entry: Since the dawn of Western pokémonology, researchers have been baffled by this beetle-like pokémon’s ability to evolve when in proximity with shelmet. It certainly is a baffling mystery, considering the facts that karrablast eat snails, the species gains a shell that resembles its evolutionary partner’s upon evolution, and the act of evolving by using other pokémon or their body parts as a medium has been well recorded since the discovery of the mantyke and slowpoke lines. Yes, this is indeed a mystery that no one will ever solve.

Escavalier
The Cavalry Pokémon
Type: Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 589
Entry: The evolved form of karrablast, if the subject is traded with or hit with a sufficient amount of energy from a shelmet. Upon evolution, it steals shelmet’s shell and uses it as armor. This new armor allows it to defend itself, which is a grave necessity due to this beetle-like pokémon’s tendency to fly around at high speeds and face opponents stronger than itself with an impulsive brand of bravery. Should all of this seem odd considering the fact that it strongly resembles a knight, one should only look towards historical records to know that knights were not as noble as fantasy depicts them as. In truth, there is only one confusing point to escavalier’s existence, and that is the fact that researchers acknowledge that its theft of shelmet’s extremely sturdy shell is a key part of its evolution, yet they are still baffled by how karrablast evolves.

Larvesta and Volcarona

Larvesta
The Torch Pokémon
Type: Bug/Fire
Official Registration #: 636
Entry: This rare larval pokémon possesses a great affinity for the fire type. It is most comfortable in deserts and at the base of volcanoes, it spews fire from its flame-colored horns, and it wraps itself in a cocoon of pure fire upon evolution. In fact, larvesta has such a strong affinity for fire that it was once said among the native Unovan population that its entire kind was born from the sun and flung to Earth and that the solar surface is still covered in similar larva-like fire creatures … which, in this author’s opinion, says a number of disconcerting things about the Unovan concept of the sun.

Volcarona
The Sun Pokémon
Type: Bug/Fire
Official Registration #: 637
Entry: The evolved form of larvesta, by battle experience. Volcarona emits flames from its brightly colored, bioluminescent wings, and even the slightest flap of these sends a dazzling rain of embers towards the ground. Although not a legendary-level pokémon, volcarona is said to be the embodiment of the sun. The reason why is because, supposedly, centuries ago, when Unova was covered with volcanic ash, a swarm of volcarona appeared and served as a replacement for the sun itself. This is a great story, of course, especially given the fact that, as mentioned in a previous entry, Unova isn’t a volcanic region.

Unova Legendaries, Part V

Genesect
The Paleozoic Pokémon
Type: Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 649
Entry: This insectoid pokémon had once been an apex predator in the dense forests of Unova during the, appropriately enough, Paleozoic era. Eons later, however, reports have surfaced that it had been resurrected from a fossil and modified to possess both steel armor and modern weaponry by Team Plasma … because nothing says “I care about pokémon freedom and welfare” like forcibly resurrecting one and welding a cannon to its back.

The Burmy Line

Burmy
The Bagworm Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 412
Entry: A small, larval pokémon native to Sinnohan forests. Burmy’s actual body is small and fragile, so it covers itself with anything within reach to create a cloak capable of softening blows against it as well as camouflaging it in its immediate environment. Additionally, “within reach” does, in fact, mean within reach, so burmy that find themselves in urban environments frequently use trash to cover themselves. It is possibly for this reason that this small, fragile creature known for burying itself in trash has become a symbol for the users of certain social media platforms on the internet.

Wormadam
The Bagworm Pokémon
Type: Bug/Grass or Bug/Ground or Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 413
Entry: The evolved form of female burmy, by battle experience. Somehow, the process of evolution fuses a newly formed female burmy to her coat, resulting in a wormadam that is permanently covered in leaves, stones, or other conveniently placed debris. Thus, there are indeed wormadam permanently fused to a coat of trash, which some users on the aforementioned social media platform have said makes this pokémon even more relatable.

Mothim
The Moth Pokémon
Type: Bug/Flying
Official Registration #: 414
Entry: The evolved form of male burmy, by battle experience. Upon evolution, male burmy break free from their cloaks and fly on gigantic wings across the region. This act of breaking free then allows mothim the utmost maneuverability, which in turn gives him the ability to steal honey from combee, chase down and mate with any wormadam he comes across, and make his home anywhere without needing to build a nest. It is for all three reasons that some users on the aforementioned social media platforms believe that “mothim’s trash cloak is on the inside.”

The Scatterbug Line

Scatterbug
The Scatterdust Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 664
Entry: A worm-like pokémon native to forests across the world. When threatened, it ejects a dust from its exoskeleton that is capable of paralyzing creatures on contact. However, this powder is also important for the regulation of its body temperature, and the loss of this extra coat may result in a scatterbug freezing to the point of being unable to move, thus providing a rather inconvenient downside to its primary defense mechanism against predators.

Spewpa
The Scatterdust Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 665
Entry: The evolved form of scatterbug, by battle experience. The bristles of this pokémon, in combination with the line’s paralyzing dust, provide extra protection against the beaks and claws of bird-like predators. So do, incidentally, the shards of reinforced, sharpened chitin which, when launched due to the raising of its bristles, can be thrown like shuriken directly into innocent bystanders. Trainers and researchers traveling through darker parts of the forest should be warned against this behavior, as spewpa have a tendency to hide in the shadows, coupled with an inability to discern a predator about to step on them from a passing human who has no idea that the spewpa is there.

Vivillon
The Scale Pokémon
Type: Bug/Flying
Official Registration #: 666
Entry: The evolved form of spewpa, by battle experience. Vivillon are famous for their wing patterns, which vary in color and design, based on the region its scatterbug form had originally been from. There are avid collectors all over the world who dedicate their lives to obtaining every form of vivillon in existence, to the point where entire conventions have been created for vivillon trading. As a note to the curious from an experienced collector, conventions for pokémon fanatics are both wondrous and alarming. On the one hand, they enable fans across the globe to connect with one another and to allow trainers from distant regions to meet and befriend pokémon they wouldn’t normally encounter. On the other, rare forms of vivillon have been known to cause fist fights between particularly enthusiastic fans.

To be fair, you were involved with three of the ones you’re referring to. —LH

At least I didn’t start them. —Bill

Heatmor and Durant

Heatmor
The Anteater Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 631
Entry: An anteater pokémon that lives in caves. Using its narrow snout and its flame-spewing abilities, heatmor is able to reach into the burrows of its primary food source and kill off massive amounts of durant at one time using just one Flamethrower. Unfortunately, seeing as this move would kill entire durant nests before any of heatmor’s prey moved close enough to the opening of their burrows and seeing as heatmor can’t actually learn any moves it can use to excavate its meals, this narrow snout, combined with literal fire powers, may not be the wisest adaptation for heatmor to have.

Durant
The Iron Ant Pokémon
Type: Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 632
Entry: An ant-like pokémon that lives in caves. Using its durable pincers, durant carves twisting nests deep into rock walls. This, combined with its ability to reinforce its metal armor and its tendency to band together in massive waves, helps it to protect itself and its young from its only natural predator, heatmor. Unfortunately, heatmor have the ability to exhale streams of fire that can follow these narrow corridors right to the heart of durant colonies, which is to say that perhaps these were not the wisest survival adaptations for durant to have.