The Tepig Line

Tepig
The Fire Pig Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 498
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Unova. Noted for its adorable appearance and equally adorable proclivity for exhaling fireballs from its distinctive nose when excited, tepig are not only a popular pet in Unova but also a popular subject in children’s books set in the Unovan countryside. However, because of its proclivity for exhaling fireballs from its distinctive nose when excited, attempting to make live action films of the aforementioned children’s book has frequently been met with disaster.

Pignite
The Fire Pig Pokémon
Type: Fire/Fighting
Official Registration #: 497
Entry: The evolved form of tepig, by battle experience. A hardy and aggressive pokémon, pignite is capable of launching devastating, full-body attacks. In order to fuel these attacks, pignite often consumes whatever is within reach, regardless of whether or not it is actually edible to most other pokémon. It should go without saying that it is a good idea to keep all hands, limbs, clothing, wallets, and valuable research equipment out of reach of this pokémon at all times.

Emboar
The Mega Fire Pig Pokémon
Type: Fire/Fighting
Official Registration #: 500
Entry: The evolved form of pignite, by battle experience. A master of hand-to-hand combat, emboar possess the power to set their chins ablaze with a full beard of fire. This beard can then be used to set its fists on fire for devastating punches and palm strikes, consume emboar’s body for flaming Rollouts, or any of a number of other incredible physical attacks. Yet the thing emboar is most known for is the fact that it is in the third starting pokémon of the fire and fighting elements to be announced in a region, as when it comes to pokémon research and training, repetitive elemental combinations take precedence over the individual qualities and behaviors of an evolutionary family.

The Chimchar Line

Chimchar
The Chimp Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 390
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Sinnoh. A small, agile monkey pokémon native to Sinnohan forests. Gases churn within its stomach and fuel the constant fires that sprout from its rear end … and someone wrote this fact in the Sinnohan pokédex and has in no way been embellished or edited by this writer.

Monferno
The Playful Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 391
Entry: The evolved form of chimchar, by battle experience. Using its unparalleled agility and the flames on its tail, a monferno can spring from sheer walls or high ceilings in order to launch vicious, fast-paced attacks. While the Sinnohan pokédex states that its flaming tail is its only weapon, this is not entirely true. Ember does not come from its tail, and given the entry left for its evolutionary predecessor and the fact that a monferno will typically learn this move as a chimchar, it is possibly best not to think too much about where Ember actually comes from.

Infernape
The Flame Pokémon
Type: Fire/Fighting
Official Registration #: 392
Entry: The evolved form of monferno, by battle experience. Using its crown of fire and the fire on its fists and legs, an infernape adds a flame element to its own unique style. The style itself is noteworthy, as for centuries, martial artists in China have attempted to adapt and emulate it for human use. The end result is a wild, aggressive, highly unpredictable form known as drunken monkey style, as it evokes the look of an infernape that had consumed fermented berries to the point where it will fight anything that moves within its line of sight. Interestingly enough, certain European cultures have a similar fighting style, but these were inspired by a drunk infernape of a more metaphorical nature and were therefore developed via perhaps less dignified means.

The Torchic Line

Torchic
The Chick Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 255
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Hoenn. A small, chick-like pokémon whose natural body temperature is so hot that the fireballs it launches during battle can reach temperatures in excess of 1800 degrees Fahrenheit. Thus, in Hoenn, it is said that torchic are very warm to cuddle, but given that these are the same people who live in a region that feature a desert, an active volcano, a dormant volcano, and a tropical jungle, outsiders should take torchic’s cuddliness with a grain of salt.

For your information, it is very cuddly, and someone who had the misfortune of being raised in a region where you don’t see sun for six months out of the year because of the constant rain should perhaps keep his opinions about Hoennians to himself. —LH

The reason why I poke fun at every other region but Hoenn, ladies and gentlemen. —Bill

Combusken
The Young Fowl Pokémon
Type: Fire/Fighting
Official Registration #: 256
Entry: The evolved form of torchic, by battle experience. A powerful and energetic pokémon, combusken is capable of delivering ten kicks per second, and each kick is capable of rending solid concrete in two. In Hoenn, this has made combusken a prized fighter ideal for taking on the rock- and steel-heavy Hoenn League. In Unova, however, combusken are noted for their muscular legs, which apparently taste wonderful to an Unovan when said legs are breaded, seasoned, and fried in whatever magical oils the local Floccesy Fried Chicken establishment uses.

Blaziken
The Blaze Pokémon
Type: Fire/Fighting
Official Registration #: 257
Entry: The evolved form of combusken, by battle experience. Upon evolution, blaziken gain the ability to jump thirty-story buildings, set their fists on fire via flame cuffs, breathe jets of flames, and endure hours of intense fighting. Upon mega evolution, it also gains the ability Speed Boost … because that’s exactly what you need a six-foot-tall chicken with fire powers and superhuman martial arts skills to do: gain speed boosts naturally.

The Ralts Line

As an apology for our delay in both the response to the last question and our entries as a whole, please accept this special, extra entry for the day. Thank you for your patience. —LH

Ralts
The Feeling Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 280
Entry: A childlike pokémon native to the quieter forests of Hoenn. Because of its ability to sense the emotions of others, it typically avoids contact with anything that is not of the ralts line and is, therefore, extremely rare and difficult to find. However, because of its timidity, its soft but cute cry, and its eagerness to please others (in order to neutralize any negativity that surrounds it), it is also a popular pokémon among children and young adults … which very likely does absolutely nothing to alleviate ralts’s aversion to drama and high doses of extreme emotion.

Kirlia
The Emotion Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 281
Entry: The evolved form of ralts, by battle experience. Although kirlia possesses more mastery over its psychic abilities than its predecessor, it is still prone to being highly affected by the emotions of its trainer. For example, trainers who experience incredible emotions of joy or pride may cause their kirlia to dance with happiness. Trainers suffering through negative emotions will find that their kirlia has become lethargic and depressed. And trainers in the vicinity of other humans they find incredibly attractive will cause their kirlia to ███████

Really, Bill? Really? —LH

Gardevoir
The Embrace Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 282
Entry: The evolved form of kirlia, by battle experience. Only the strongest trainers who form the closest, most loving bonds with their kirlia may see their pokémon evolve to their final, natural forms. Thus, a gardevoir is born out of strong feelings of loyalty, so it stands to reason that gardevoir in general are inherently extremely protective of their trainers. This is true; all observable tamed gardevoir have been known to go to extreme lengths to protect their trainers from any potential threat. Unfortunately for most people, “extreme lengths” may include creating a miniature black hole, and “potential threat” may include literally anyone within five feet of their trainers.

Gallade
The Blade Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fighting
Official Registration #: 475
Entry: The evolved form of male kirlia, by exposure to dawn stone. Although its sibling evolution results from the incredible bonds formed between a kirlia and another being, this does not mean gallade do not experience similarly intense urges to protect their trainers and loved ones. If anything, their ability to sense the emotions of potential foes, combined with the drive to battle inherent in all fighting-types and extreme fondness for using the swords hidden in their forearms, make them even more gung-ho about protecting the people and pokémon they value the most. Therefore, trainers should be extremely wary about teaching their gallade to attack only on command, rather than any time they sense danger. Well-meaning researchers who intend to give gallade to sisters with questionable tastes in men, however, are free to teach their pokémon whatever they wish.

They aren’t, but good try. —LH

Mankey and Primeape

Mankey
The Pig Monkey Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 56
Entry: This primate-like pokémon lives in the treetops of Kanto in large colonies. Renowned for both its sociability and its hot temper, mankey will fly into a blinding rage over anything from a lack of food to a strange glance sent in its general direction. Because of the suddenness of these tantrums, no one, not even its own friends and family, are safe from its violent rampages, and thus, when a mankey flies into a fit of rage, it will instantly drive away anyone who is not within arm’s reach. Yet strangely enough, because of its sociability, it will also fly into a rage out of loneliness if members of its colony ignore it, which is to say mankey will often resort to massive amounts of personal and property damage until it finally exhausts itself.

Primeape
The Pig Monkey Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 57
Entry: The evolved form of mankey, by battle experience. Although known for being just as destructive and violent as its pre-evolved form, in actuality, this behavior is only displayed when primeape is in the presence of others. When it believes to be completely alone, it reverts to a more passive, docile personality. Although this is very rarely observed, scientists have discovered that in this state, primeape enjoy gathering and arranging flowers, tea, cookies, complex literature, classical music, and the subtle but intelligent humor of British television.

Hawlucha

Hawlucha
The Wrestling Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Flying
Official Registration #: 701
Entry: Despite its small size (of about 2.5 feet), hawlucha is a master of physical combat and can hold its own even against larger, bulkier opponents such as hariyama. However, most of the reason why it can hold its own has nothing to do with brute strength or raw power and everything to do with its tendency to attack from above and behind, which in this writer’s opinion is just as effective and honorable a strategy as any when going up against opponents far stronger and tougher than you. Like the patrons of the Goldenrod City Game Corner … as an off-hand example that the writer has never experienced personally.

Pancham and Pangoro

{This and the following four entries are by request of @the-firebrand. Thanks! 😀 —The Mod}

Pancham
The Playful Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 674
Entry: This two-foot-tall panda pokémon will do anything it can to make its enemies take it seriously. Thus, it frequently adopts a confident swagger on the battlefield while chewing on a leaf to make it look tougher than it actually is. In truth, this is a cuddly pokémon that can be easily distracted with petting, although this is rarely recommended, not because it can pack a powerful punch (although it certainly can) but instead because this embarrasses it immensely.

Pangoro
The Daunting Pokémon
Type: Dark/Fighting
Official Registration #: 675
Entry: The evolved form of pancham, by battle experience if raised alongside a dark-type pokémon. Unlike its previous form, pangoro are notorious for being seven-foot-tall, 300-pound mountains of muscle, claws, and rage. If confronted with anything that even slightly resembles bullying, it will charge the offender and smash them with their giant paws, which are strong enough to snap telephone poles in half. Incidentally, this reaction also applies to anyone who subjected them to humiliation as pancham, so to those of you who had a habit of cuddling your pancham because they were fuzzy and adorable … never evolve your pancham. Ever.

Riolu and Lucario

Riolu
The Emanation Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 447
Entry: Riolu have the ability to read the emotions of others as well as communicate its own emotions via aura. Yet it is a fighting-type, the single most likely type to engage in physical combat and thus the most likely type to endure great physical injury. For this reason, the riolu’s empathic abilities may be among the most counterproductive powers among the pokémon kingdom. However, at the very least, it should be a comfort for riolu trainers to know that the state will typically pay for any service a Nurse Joy provides, including mental counseling as a result of being in close proximity to a fighting-type that translates its pain into horrific light patterns.

Lucario
The Aura Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Steel
Official Registration #: 448
Entry: The evolved form of riolu, in response to both levels of sunlight and closeness with its trainer. Well-trained lucario have the abilities to sense the aura of all living things, understand human speech, read the thoughts and emotions of those whose auras they sense, channel aura into projectiles and weapons, execute extraordinary feats of physical prowess, and roll over and play dead for biscuits. This is why lucario are the second most popular pokémon on any given video sharing website, next to the members of the skitty line.