Tag: from the editor

“Hello there, Bill. I have a Weavile whom I rescued in the Orre region after she was illegally captured and relocated. She seemed very antsy at first, and after some bonding time, my Gardevoir telepathically told me she had an abusive trainer in the past, hence her unease. Since then I have worked to give her a loving home, and shown that I am not an abusive trainer myself. Yet on occasion, she seems to suffer bouts of PTSD. Through my own pokemon, our combined actions, and even her mate, we seem to help, but the bouts continue to come. We do what we’re able to in order to keep her happy. Do you have anything to suggest that may help as well? Thank you.”

– Jett Onarius

Terribly sorry for the confusion, @pinkhairedgardie! I’m afraid I was under the impression that your previous ask was referring to what we still had in our queue or inbox. In actuality, we had received a question from you not that long ago. My partner’s response is here, and we hope it’s useful to you.

— LH

pinkhairedgardie replied to your post “(hi, LH? I believe that’s the mod. I know the queue must be loaded,…”

(Greeeat… Yeah you’re right in the fact that Tumblr’s pretty lousy at times. Alright, I’ll try once more. It’ll be via submission, as it’s a bit of a long inquiry. Is that alright?)

Certainly! I’ll see to it that Bill handles your submission as soon as possible. Thank you for understanding, @pinkhairedgardie. —LH

(hi, LH? I believe that’s the mod. I know the queue must be loaded, but I sent an ask a couple weeks ago, back when tumblr’s mobile app was causing me trouble. I’m just curious if you received anything from me aside from the recent reply to an earlier post.)

Hmm. It seems that all of the asks Bill has yet to answer, queued or not, were sent by anonymous users. I do apologize, @pinkhairedgardie. If you can recall what the ask was about, please feel free to send it again.

We also apologize for the inadequacy of this blogging platform. Normally, we would use something far, far more reliable, such as a platform we’ve coded ourselves, but I’m afraid that it was my partner’s idea to get a Tumblr, because not only would this help him connect with our target userbase but also because he thoroughly enjoys memes, skitty videos, and questionably ironic “aesthetic” posts.

—LH

Thus, we come to the end of our impromptu Hoenn Week, which I should hope was sufficient enough to please my edi—I mean, please those of you out there who may have been inquiring as to why we don’t do more Hoenn-based entries.

It didn’t on either count, but good try, Bill. Furthermore, you are still not allowed out of the shame box for the last entry. —LH

Yo Lanette, you should totally make a robotic version of Bill. You never know when this companion will come in handy, like when Unova needs to be saved… again.

Hmm. That’s not a terrible idea. Or better yet: a robotic version of Bill specially programmed to be my butler and personal assistant. I wouldn’t mind being waited on hand and foot by Bill for once. You know. As opposed to being teased for … certain less organized habits of mine. —LH

He would add a touch of class to this place. —Brigette

what. —Bill

I’m a hoennian and i’m soon going on a trip to Unova. Is there anything I should know about unovan culture and costume?

Certainly!

The first thing you should do when you get to Unova is go to the nearest travel kiosk, exchange your money, and then book a ticket to Alola and go there instead.

LH: My apologies, anonymous. Bill is kidding. Unova is a nice place, and we both thoroughly enjoy our time there when we go.

Even though certain Unovans have threatened repeatedly to throw tea into my pond while flying the Unovan flag… —Bill

LH: Ignoring that, it’s important to keep in mind that Unova is a bustling, crowded place with a high volume of tourists per year. At first glance, it may seem that Unovans are rude and cold, but many of them are simply tough and proud of their region. So while it’s difficult to ask for directions, if you seem like you’re from Unova or interested in the locals’ perspective of it, then you’ll be treated less like a tourist and more like a friend. In truth, once you get to know them, Unovans are some of the most passionate, friendly people you can meet.

Of course, the passion might seem a little intimidating as well. Unovans are not at all afraid to speak their minds, so if something is bothering them, they’ll let you know. On the other hand, if they’re excited about something, they’re very open about it, and that excitement can get rather infectious. They’re also a highly competitive bunch, so if you’re a trainer, be prepared to battle a lot. They won’t go easy on you in that region, which is why so many tourists flock there. Nowhere else has a league of gym leaders or a community of trainers who battle as hard as Unova’s do, and pushing each other to be the very best is a regional past time. So in short, be prepared.

As for costume, Unova is famous for its fashion and second only to Kalos in terms of trendiness. However, while Kalos boasts European taste and old-fashioned elegance, style in Unova is far more modern. Thus, Unova styles change yearly, and it’s best to do as the Romans do, so to speak. But unlike Kalos, which goes for muted colors, pastels, and stately bolds, Unova is always brightly colored, sometimes with a tastefully distressed pair of jeans. The last time I was there, though, I recall that the latest trends leaned towards hipster chic: a lot of flannel, high-waisted jeans, scarves, hats, sweaters, and old-style glasses. It may have been the only time I’ve felt trendier than my sister, come to think of it.

In terms of culture as in art or philosophy, Unova is again only second to Kalos in terms of that (regardless of what my partner has to say about how much culture his home region boasts). For example, Nacrene City is an entire city full of nothing but artists, and you can find blocks upon blocks of art galleries full of both modern and classical art, and its natural and cultural history museum is not to be missed, either. If you’re more interested in either music or film, Virbank City is home to Pokéstar Studios, as well as a lively underground rock scene thanks to its gym leader, Roxie. Of course, every other city has its own charm or fascinating point of interest as well. Unova is, in other words, a place that has a little something for everyone.

On behalf of Bill and myself, we hope you enjoy the Unova region! It’s not half as bad as Bill ever makes it out to be. He’s just a little too proud of his own region.

Achievement Unlocked!

And with that … horrifying carnival of puns, Bill has successfully completed the Kanto regional dex. Thanks go out to all of you who have requested or supported our endeavors so far! Stay tuned next, as throughout the coming week, we’ll be posting entries focusing on the Johto pokémon, to give Bill a boost towards completing that dex as well. As always, if you’d like to see Bill describe a pokémon in his own words, please feel free to send in an ask!

—LH

Lanette, can you confirm or deny the natural sableye eyes Bill just inflicted upon us?

While it’s true that wild sableye start out with organic eyes that harden into a diamond form, they look nothing like that image. In fact, they’re barely noticeable, as they’re small and the same color as sableye’s skin. (I’ll spare you an image, unlike some people.)

I’m not entirely sure where Bill got that image, but I suspect he made it himself in lieu of doing something far more productive. Rest assured that he will be reprimanded for it. — LH

Reprimanded? Blazes, Lanette! What if Amanita is reading this? —Bill

You’re getting reprimanded for that too. —LH

Is it cruel to keep pokemon in pokeballs or even in a PC? They obviously need to eat and do other things to live so it seems like they’d need to be let out at some point. What goes on inside there?

image

My apologies, anonymous. This is LH.

You’ve apparently hit upon the one question that my partner has received so often that it reduces him to a state in which he finds it difficult to communicate outside of memes.

(Oh, I can communicate just fine, Lanette. Whether or not you would want me to, however, is an entirely different matter. —Bill)

So rather than take the risk of allowing Bill to say something he would regret—which he would—

(Hey! —Bill)

—allow me to answer this one for him.

Pokémon are perfectly safe, both within the poké ball and inside the storage system. Both technologies take advantage of a pokémon’s ability to change form. Even pokémon incapable of evolving, such as farfetch’d and the like, have this ability encoded in unused portions of their DNA. The poké ball simply triggers this ability and directs it to convert the pokémon’s body into a electrical-digital format. So while it’s not true suspended animation, as a contained pokémon is typically perfectly aware of what goes on outside of its ball, it is a state in which a pokémon no longer needs to eat, sleep, or perform any other function necessary for maintaining their physical forms. This also halts aging and the progress of most ailments, but strangely enough, it does not halt the affects of poisoning or poké rus. This is likely because such conditions are inadvertently converted into patches of corruption, one form of which “corrects” itself over time as the pokémon adapts and heals itself. (Poisoning is a far more difficult condition to self-heal from.)

Additionally, it’s true that most pokémon are initially aware of their surroundings at first, but it’s possible for pokémon to enter extended sleep states while inside their poké balls, especially if contained for long periods of time. This is why it’s important to allow your pokémon time outside their poké balls now and then. Otherwise, according to psychic scans, when stored in a poké ball, a pokémon simply watches what goes on outside of its capture device. This is contrary to popular belief, which is, of course, the idea that pokémon get their own miniature habitats within each ball.

The storage system functions via the same principle, although for it, pokémon enter a true form of suspended animation due to the recursive nature of the process. You are, essentially, nesting a captured pokémon within a capture device within a capture device. Also according to psychic scans, pokémon who have been through the system are not at all aware of entering, nor are they aware of any time spent in storage. They simply, well, sleep.

Granted, some pokémon have shown a vague level of awareness of their surroundings, and for them, we’ve designed wallpapers meant to make pokémon more comfortable. But the main point is, your pokémon are not at all harmed by being stored, so on a technical level, if used as recommended, neither poké balls nor the storage system are cruel.

Nonetheless, yes, we do recommend that you withdraw your pokémon once in a while for psychological reasons. I’m sure you wouldn’t like waking up to know that ten years have passed either, after all.

There, Bill. Was that so hard? —LH

For you, perhaps. You’ve only been asked once. —Bill