Hi, Bill. I really want to become a trainer, it’s been my dream since I was little kid, but… this is embarassing… I’m really scared of ghost type pokemon. The stories surrounding them, where they come from, it all gives me chills. Do you have any advice?

For the most part, it’s likely you won’t have to worry too much. Ghost-types dwell in very specific, very distinct habitats: abandoned buildings (typically the older the better), dark forests, very occasionally caves. The basic rule is that if you hear rumors that a place is haunted, it’s actually home to ghost-type pokémon.

Or in other words, ghost-types are easier to avoid than you might believe, so don’t worry.

Should you encounter one, though, stay calm. Most ghost-types feed on fear, and in any case, the more you panic, the less you’ll be able to navigate out of the situation. I realize that this may be difficult, especially if you’re dealing with a phobia, but doing everything you can to keep yourself from panicking is absolutely vital. Take a deep breath and find your center. Think of your body right where it is and concentrate more on feeling your weight than on the ghost-type in front of you.

Once you do this, identify an exit and make your way towards it. Try not to summon any additional pokémon, as that might provoke the ghost-type to engage with you.

If you’re cornered, however, try to remember that most ghost-types don’t actually want to kill humans unless you’ve invaded what’s very clearly their inner territory. Ghost-types are ultimately like any other pokémon in that the ones you’re more likely to see actually want to be around humans and form a bond with us in order to be trained. It’s just that some of them might be mischievous or liable to feed off your fear (which is less dangerous than it sounds, as the consumption of fear actually leaves you in a rather euphoric state or a state of mind in which you feel empty—the latter of which will fade and give way to other emotions over time). Just keep this in mind and, if you absolutely have to engage, try to form some kind of friendship. Rather than show fear, show interest. This may confuse a ghost-type enough to allow you to escape or to get it to leave you alone.

As a note, normally, I respond to asks about fear with advocating exposure therapy, and if you want to get over your fear of ghost-types, I wholeheartedly encourage you to try it too. Find a trainer you can trust who owns a ghost-type and ask them to help you by setting up times to meet their ghosts and spend time with/help take care of them. Start off with a little bit of time of exposure, then gradually increase your time until you can tolerate being around that ghost-type for long periods. This is also a great way to meet a potential traveling companion.

Best of luck, and congratulations on the beginning of your journey!

Hi, Bill. I’ve heard that some pokemon have their origins talked about as coming from non-egg sources, sometimes even in the pokedex, but these pokemon can still produce eggs and have offspring of the same species that way. Is it true that, for example, a phantump is the spirit of a dead child, or is it all hogwash?

Well, I’d hesitate to call it hogwash because I don’t want to offend Kaloseans.

But yes, it’s very unlikely that phantump are the lost souls of dead children. The same can be said for all ghost-types, actually.

Now, on the other hand, the thing about exeggutor dropping a “head” and having it grow into another exeggcute is actually true. Sort of. Those really are eggs, but they’re virtually indistinguishable from an exeggutor head. And yes, the exeggutor’s reproductive system is located in the head region, not lower down.

For those of you who could have gone your whole lives not knowing the alien mechanics of exeggutor reproduction … you’re welcome.

Do Ghost-type Pokemon like Halloween as much as humans do or is the correlation just because we consider them ghost-like

They do enjoy it, but not for the reason one might think. While they vaguely have a concept of Halloween, they don’t actually fully understand it now. They know, at least, that humans honor(ed) their dead on this day, and the gastly line (especially haunter and gengar) seem to know that long ago, humans once worshipped them on this day. They also know that humans enjoy being scared right around this time and that if they do so, they’ll earn free candy.

But mostly, they know that Halloween is that day when humans hang up fake ghost-type decorations, and they find this incredibly entertaining.

Are there any tips for finding out if any ghost type pokemon have made residence in your home? I live pretty close to a graveyard and keep finding things in places I was pretty sure I didn’t leave them in (And food eaten that I’m pretty sure I didn’t eat yet…) but none of the usual signs that a critter got in…

You can typically tell whether or not you have a ghost-type on your hands if all of the following are true:

You experience hints of poltergeist activity (objects appearing where they shouldn’t be, objects moving or floating of their own accord, objects flying at you specifically, objects breaking).
You feel a chill in a room for no discernible reason.
You have a constant sense of being watched.
During the night, you sometimes wake up to see, in your half-asleep state, a shadow in your room (or you dream that you do).
You’ve been having trouble remembering your dreams lately, and when you wake up, you feel more exhausted than usual.
Your pokémon are constantly looking at empty space. (Some may also attack this empty space, but usually, tamed pokémon will simply stare.)
You find random scorch marks on your walls (either narrow as if lightning struck it or circular as if an orb hit it).
In the case of a gastly infestation, your smoke detector goes off for no apparent reason. (Note: If your carbon monoxide detector goes off, then this may also indicate gastly activity, but you should likely vacate the premises and call your gas company/landlord/other party anyway, just in case. Don’t assume you have a gastly infestation until you rule out a carbon monoxide leak!)
You hear pokémon cries that are so soft you’re not quite sure you actually heard them.
You set up a camera, and they in the recording. (In all seriousness, this is usually the most effective albeit probably the most expensive way to find out whether or not you have a ghost pokémon on your hands.)

If, however, the following happens (sometimes in addition to the above), then you do not have a ghost pokémon on your hands:

The walls bleed.
You hear human crying or human voices.
Your pokémon appear extremely agitated or are physically picked up and thrown.
Objects combust for no apparent reason.
You find objects, especially dolls, standing or sitting in places you most definitely did not leave them, and their eyes are always on you.
You find random scratch marks, usually in ominous messages, across your walls.
During the night, you wake up to find a presence looming over you. It’s humanlike, but you can’t make out a face.
You wake up with scratches or other injuries.
You can remember your dreams, but they’re always of you dying.
Your roommate seems unusually pleasant lately, although you can also hear them whisper things about Hell when you turn your back on them.
During the night, you wake up to find your roommate looming over you.

To clarify, the above points mean you actually have the other sort of ghost on your hands, and you may wish to call a priest.

Best of luck!

Cubone and Marowak please!

bills-pokedex:

Strange that I’ve never covered this line. They’re truly fascinating pokémon. As they say, coming right up, anonymous!

Cubone
The Lonely Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 104
Entry: Because young cubone are both weak and the favored prey of many pokémon in its native mountains and cave systems, its marowak mother will almost always sacrifice herself to protect her child early in life. As part of its mourning process, the orphaned cubone, sometimes with the help of the rest of its community, will give its mother a funeral, complete with the ritualistic extraction of her skull and one of her femurs. These bones will then become the cubone’s armor and will serve to protect it throughout its life. Either because of the fact that it always carries around a reminder of its mother or because the experience of losing her early in life has scarred it for life, the cubone will never fully heal from the trauma. In fact, the lines that appear to be cracks along the eye sockets of its skull helmet are not cracks but rather stains left by the tears it constantly sheds. The author really has nothing else to add to this entry; he just wanted to inform his readers that those are tear tracks. You’re welcome.

Marowak
The Bone Keeper Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 105
Entry: The evolved form of cubone, by battle experience. Even after evolution, marowak do not find relief from the traumas they had experienced. Instead, evolution brings about the boost in power and confidence that they need to train harder and master the use of bones as melee weapons. Once mastering their style, they collect more bones to add to their armory. No one is quite certain where marowak gets these bones. Some say they excavate them from marowak graveyards. Others who are well aware of the fact that marowak evolve from cubone who had been forced to bury their mothers simply stare at the first group of people in quiet, unbelieving horror while silently praying that marowak just happen upon the remains of other dead pokémon.

Marowak (Alola form)
The Bone Keeper Pokémon
Type: Fire/Ghost
Official Registration #: 105
Entry: The evolved form of cubone, by battle experience, at night, in the Alolan climate. Due to the abundance of its natural predators (that is, grass-types or pokémon that can learn grass-type moves) in Alola, cubone that evolve there take on an affinity for the fire type. Meanwhile, due to the spiritual energies associated with their bone clubs (which are said to not only have come from their mothers but also be possessed by their mothers’ vengeful spirits), they also gain an affinity for the ghost type, resulting in the distinctive fire/ghost Alolan marowak. In other words, with these two origins combined, Alolan marowak is one of the few evolutions to exist that was absolutely, completely born out of raw spite.

Sableye

bills-pokedex:

Sableye
The Darkness Pokémon
Type: Dark/Ghost
Official Registration #: 302
Entry: A small, imp-like pokémon first discovered in the cave systems of Hoenn. In the wild, this pokémon subsists entirely on the jewels and precious stones found in its native habitat. It consumes so many of these on a daily basis that parts of its body have crystalized into gem-like forms. This includes its eyes; at birth, wild sableye actually possess two completely organic eyeballs. It’s just that these eyes harden into a diamond-like substance over time. Domestically bred sableye, however, possess these diamond eyes from the start, due to the fact that trainers and breeders wishing to hatch sableye are extremely careful in maintaining a high mineral content not only in the parents’ diet but also in the incubator holding the egg. And this is done because wild newborn sableye typically look like this:

Mega Sableye
The Darkness Pokémon
Type: Dark/Ghost
Official Registration #: 302+
Entry: The advanced form of sableye, via sablenite. The surge of power from mega evolution causes this pokémon’s jewel to burst from its chest and expand to a size that’s both taller and ten times heavier than the host sableye, which enables it to be used as a shield (albeit one too heavy and unwieldy for the sableye to move).

The author admits that there is no punchline to this entry. He’s simply delighted to have another opportunity to share the above image with all of you again.

UB Burst: Blacephalon

Blacephalon
The Fireworks Pokémon
Type: Fire/Ghost
Official Registration #: 806
Entry: One of the Ultra Beasts, or strange pokémon that had appeared from another dimension. This clown-like Ultra Beast is known for slithering up to opponents and, once within extremely close range, detonates its own head in an explosion designed to stun a victim, if not do incredible damage to them. Although one would think its colorful and eccentric appearance would make it difficult for a blacephalon to engage in any manner of stealth, in truth, it more than makes up for it through its lankiness, flexibility, and general agility. These three things, in conjunction with its colorful and eccentric appearance, also apparently make it popular among certain crowds on certain social media websites for reasons that aren’t entirely lost on the author, though he would appreciate any moment in which he wouldn’t have to think about them.

The Gastly Line

bills-pokedex:

Gastly
The Gas Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Poison
Official Registration #: 92
Entry: A spectral pokémon most prevalent in graveyards and pokémon burial sites throughout Kanto, Johto, and Sinnoh. Contrary to popular belief, gastly are not the souls of deceased pokémon. Rather, they spawn naturally through either breeding or, in sites that host high volumes of cremation, a mixture of smoke, ash, the noxious gases of decomposition, and a pokémon’s final burst of auric energy. The gases that comprise a gastly’s body are, as mentioned a moment ago, highly noxious to a human and may induce a state of lightheadedness and euphoria shortly before suffocation. Some humans keep gastly who are trained to envelope a human but release them the moment they arrive at the edge of unconsciousness, all expressly for the high induced by this pokémon … not that the author would know anything about this, of course.

Haunter
The Gas Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Poison
Official Registration #: 93
Entry: The evolved form of gastly, by battle experience. Like its evolutionary predecessor, haunter’s body is comprised entirely of concentrated, noxious gases. However, these gases are compressed to the point where they hover just at the edge of their liquid state, enabling haunter to have a more tangible form than gastly. Additionally, as the inner materials of its form are compressed to the point where they begin to condense, haunter also has the ability to “touch,” as well as the ability to inflict the paralytic effects of its composition by touch. Thus, when the pokédex informs you that being touched by this pokémon’s hand causes a victim to experience unrelenting shuddering or that being licked by this pokémon’s gaseous tongue results in a full-body paralysis, rest assured that there is an entirely scientific explanation behind all of this which is rooted in equally comforting levels of chemistry.

Gengar
The Shadow Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Poison
Official Registration #: 94
Entry: The evolved form of haunter, via trading. This spectral pokémon possesses the ability to pass into the shadows of living beings, where it waits until nightfall to suck away their life energies and body heat. Not much else is known about gengar, unfortunately, except for one other note: should you ever attempt to study this with the two most capable researchers you know short of Professor Oak, never attempt to study it by inviting it to perform any of its other abilities unless you have not, within the past half an hour, consumed more whiskey than is reasonable for a professional. It apparently also has the ability to possess humans and the tendency to be creative in its interpretations of requests.

Mega Gengar
The Shadow Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Poison
Official Registration #: 94+
Entry: The advanced form of gengar, via gengarite. Rest assured that the Alolan dex entry concerning this pokémon’s tendency to curse everyone it encounters, even its own trainer, is not true. It will curse everyone except its trainer. Unless its trainer is a terrible person. Then it will curse everyone.

The Snorunt Line

bills-pokedex:

Snorunt
The Snow Hat Pokémon
Type: Ice
Official Registration #: 361
Entry: Despite the fact that this childlike pokémon is much more comfortable in regions with heavy snow, it was curiously first discovered in the Hoenn region, specifically in the lower chambers of Shoal Cave. Given the general warmth of the seawater in that region, the presence of snorunt—and, in fact, the frigid environment of the cavern it lives in—has baffled researchers since its initial discovery. However, the author would also like to remind the research community that this is the same region whose legendary pantheon includes a giant sentient block of never-melt ice, so honestly, the fact that there is a chamber that has been iced over and sealed off from the outside world for centuries should come as a surprise to absolutely no one.

Glalie
The Face Pokémon
Type: Ice
Official Registration #: 362
Entry: The evolved form of snorunt, by battle experience. Through the process of evolution, a snorunt gains a shell of rock, which in turn collects a thick hide of ice thanks to the instantaneous freezing of the moisture in the air immediately surrounding it. The resulting pokémon is a creature that not only has the ability to instantly freeze anything surrounding it but also appears to be a giant, floating, disembodied head. Yet despite its intimidating powers and appearance, it’s actually quite gentle, largely because it retains the shyness of its pre-evolved form. Despite this, it is still not recommended to come into physical contact with a glalie, largely because—thanks to its ability to instantaneously freeze anything within immediate vicinity of it—skin-to-shell contact has the same effect as licking a metal pole in the dead of winter (not that the author has done either).

Froslass
The Snow Land Pokémon
Type: Ice/Ghost
Official Registration #: 478
Entry: The evolved form of female snorunt, by exposure to dawn stone. Sinnohan legends warn about froslass. According to regional folklore, travelers lost on snowy mountains may encounter what appears to be a beautiful woman beckoning to them. If one goes to this woman, they will quickly find a wild froslass instead, who will immediately freeze them and drag them to her lair. Whether or not this is true is still a matter of debate, but it is known that tamed froslass do have a habit of staring at their trainers oddly and growing unsettlingly quiet whenever it snows. The author reassures his readers, however, that there have been no cases of a tamed froslass kidnapping their trainers and stealing them away to frozen wastelands … that he knows of, anyway.

Stop scaring the readers. You know that only happened six times in recorded history. —LH

Mega Glalie
The Face Pokémon
Type: Ice
Official Registration #: 362+
Entry: The advanced form of glalie, via glalitite. The most common question the author has ever gotten concerning this mega evolution is whether or not it’s ethical to use, considering the fact that the mere act of mega evolving does actual, bodily harm to the pokémon. While the author has no adequate answer on the subject (as it’s a bit of an internal debate among pokémon researchers), if it makes readers feel any better, when the subject is a giant, sentient ball of ice that barely possesses a nervous system of any sort undergoing a temporary physical change that completely restores a pokémon’s form upon wearing off as if nothing had ever happened, bodily harm tends to be somewhat irrelevant. Also, seeing as glalie seem to enjoy it for reasons that are not entirely beyond comprehension if you have any experience with certain parts of the internet, it is perhaps best not to think about this question at all.

Shuppet and Banette

bills-pokedex:

Shuppet
The Puppet Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 353
Entry: This handkerchief-like pokémon floats through the air at night, feeding off negative emotions. It’s particularly attracted to overwhelming feelings of jealousy, vindictiveness, or general anger, and it will congregate with many other shuppet under the eaves of houses where someone is experiencing particularly strong variations of these emotions. For that reason, if you see entire flocks of these pokémon nestled along the gutters of a house, it’s very likely that inside resides a murderer, a scorned lover, or a teenager going through the Hoennian public high school system.

I’m going to assume you’re not thinking of anyone in particular. —LH

…I’ve tried for the past half an hour to come up with something witty to say in response, but I’ve realized saying any one of the things that came to mind would result in terrible, terrible consequences. —Bill

Good boy. —LH

Banette
The Marionette Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 354
Entry: The evolved form of shuppet, by battle experience. This doll-like pokémon is said to have been the reanimated remnants of a discarded toy, given new life by cursed energies trapped within it. Powered by its need for either vengeance or closure, it moves at night, supposedly to seek out its former owner. Typically, when presented with a name that reminds him of one of his colleagues, the author would make a witty comment involving that pokémon and said colleague, but seeing as only one system administrator has a name that rhymes with “banette” and seeing as the author realizes going down this route would be a terrible idea, he’s just going to leave the entry at that. It is a cursed doll pokémon and nothing more, and there is absolutely nothing funny to point out about it. Yes.

Okay, now you’re pushing it. —LH

Mega Banette
The Marionette Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 354+
Entry: The advanced form of banette, via banettite. Upon mega evolution, banette gains a considerable boost in its ability to command spiritual energies. Unfortunately, the sheer amount of spiritual power that floods this pokémon can be overwhelming to banette new to mega evolution, and the result may involve an outpour of negative energy that may inadvertently curse those around it. Thus, although tamed banette can be sweet and loyal pokémon who would go to the ends of the earth to protect their partners, many think of its advanced form as a terrifying creature of the night. Much like certain other people the author knows whose names might just rhyme with “banette.”

Flattery gets you nowhere, Bill. Certainly not misaimed flattery. —LH

Well, you can’t blame a guy for trying. —Bill

I’m not sure you did… —LH