Kalos Legendaries, Part II

Hoopa
The Mischief Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Ghost
Official Registration #: 720
Entry: This legendary, djinn-like pokémon is known for being unfathomably powerful in its true form, but even in its “bound” state, it possesses incredible abilities. Namely, using its mystical gold ring, it has the ability to connect its present location with a mysterious, secret location. Using this power, it frequently gathers the things it likes to store it in said location, thus building up a collection of incredible treasures. Given all of this information—including its affinity for collecting things, its ability to transport objects across space and time, and its incredible amounts of power in its unbound state—this pokémon may be considered basically the author if the author had a “pokésona,” as the internet calls them.

You wish, Bill. —LH

Sinnoh Legendaries, Part VII

Giratina
The Renegade Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Dragon
Official Registration #: 487
Entry: A strange and mysterious legendary dragon whose power rivals that of Dialga and Palkia. It is said that Giratina was banished from this world eons ago for its violence, and now, it rules over a dimension on the reverse side of ours known as the Distortion World. Naturally, one might ask what violent act it may have committed to get itself banished completely from reality. The simple answer was that it was created to embody the nothingness and antimatter opposite to the creations of Dialga and Palkia, and thus, there must have been a war between Giratina and the two deities of space and time. But more than likely, knowing Sinnoh legends and given the fact that Giratina is known as the Renegade Pokémon, it’s probable that it was simply the loser of an epic rap battle among the ancient deities.

Bill, no. —LH

So I think a ghost Pokémon is reaching out to my friend. He says whenever he crosses a specific bridge he tastes wheat and peaches in his mouth and the wind blows really fast. What should he do about that Pokémon??

Well, anonymous, the first thing you should do is verify that your friend is encountering a ghost pokémon. It’s entirely possible that the bridge is over a windy area, and your friend just really likes peach-flavored oatmeal.

To determine whether or not this is a haunting, take a pokémon that knows Foresight to the bridge. Have that pokémon scan the area, and if a ghost pokémon appears, have your friend connect with it. If it hasn’t stolen your friend’s soul by now, then it’s likely that it’s not entirely malevolent. If your friend is willing to capture it, encourage him to do so and communicate with it later. If he isn’t willing to catch it, ask it what it wants. It may help to use a psychic-type or another ghost-type to serve as a liaison. Once you figure out why it’s haunting your friend (or the bridge, whichever the case may be), you may be able to figure out what to do from there—or whether or not you should do it.

Additionally, should you have no desire to interact with this ghost as soon as you uncover it, it would be wise to get your friend a cleanse tag to protect him as he crosses the bridge. Either that, or encourage your friend to find an alternate route to avoid the bridge altogether.

If, however, there is no ghost … talk to your friend about his love of peach-flavored oatmeal. There are just far better flavors of oatmeal out there.

How do Ghost Type Pokemon breed? Some of them are supposed to be spirits of the dead so how do they make more dead spirits?

Think of them less like ghosts from traditional ghost stories and more like reincarnations, anonymous. While, yes, in some cases, they are spirits inhabiting tangible bodies (shuppet and banette, for example), many more have actual bodies with real organs—including, well, reproductive organs. They’re simply imbued with a spiritual energy and the memories of their most recent lives (as well as, in some cases, the ability to become intangible), so they’re not literally ghosts.

So yes, ghosts simply reproduce the way most other pokémon do. In the cases of shuppet, banette, or any other pokémon possessing a body, they do this by manifesting the organs they need to perform. Putting it another way, the bodies that shuppet and banette inhabit didn’t originally look the way they do as pokémon. Rather, the spirits that control them change them to suit their needs—including reproduction.

Should you be wondering, yes, this also means that pokémon such as yamask or phantump (those that are very clearly spirits of the dead, in other words) are indeed born from eggs that are laid by other spirits of the dead. In truth, these pokémon have … interesting reproductive cycles and social structures. Yamask, for example, hatch from eggs, masks and all. Scientists aren’t quite sure how; there are, after all, plenty of mysteries surrounding this world, including and especially what exactly happens when we die. It’s just known that yamask don’t acknowledge their yamask “parents” as their true parents. In fact, yamask tend to be independent after birth, and while they sometimes congregate into groups, they largely begin taking care of themselves after birth, save for a period in which the parent yamask console the newly reborn and help them embrace their new forms.

Phantump, meanwhile, reproduce two ways. The first occurs exactly how you’re told it occurs: when a child dies in the woods, its spirit possesses a stump and becomes a phantump. However, the other way occurs when phantump in general grow old enough to be trained or mature on a mental level. Once a phantump reaches adulthood (in this body, anyway), it becomes capable of mating. As with shuppet and banette, phantump also have the ability to change their bodies and manifest whatever they need to function so long as they remain, ultimately, spirits in a stump. This includes reproductive organs capable of laying eggs. (It’s thought that phantump choose this method of reproduction because they understand that pokémon lay eggs but might not understand … well, how humans do things.)

In other words, it’s very simple, anonymous. Ghost-types reproduce, by and large, by laying eggs just like those laid by any other type of pokémon. Some ghost-types simply need to take a few extra steps before getting to that point.

Hi Bill, I was wondering if you could help clear something up for me? My family and I moved from Mahogany town to Canalave city a few years ago and since then me and my brother have been getting a lot of odd looks and seem to be being treated differently than most of the other people our age. The only reason I’ve been able to see is that I’m a dark type specialist and my brother’s a specialist in ghost types. I was hoping you might know if this has anything to do with it.

Admittedly, the people of Johto and the people of Sinnoh have had a bit of a rivalry going on for ages over our respective customs. Namely, Johtonians typically honor the twin guardians Ho-oh and Lugia above all other legendary pokémon, whereas Sinnohans follow a hierarchy centered around Arceus and the guardians of time, space, and states of being. It doesn’t help, of course, that the last time our two regions did anything collaborative, the Sinnohans put an altar to Arceus in it. Johtonians, being Johtonians (even back when we worshipped the unown, which was before we worshipped Ho-oh and Lugia), responded by sealing off all entrances to said shrine except for the one going through what’s currently the Ruins of Alph. Because we Johtonians take pride in the fact that we had perfected the art of being petty long before we had a proper word for it.

Also, Johtonians in general have … a bit of a reputation about them in other regions that isn’t exactly flattering. Some regions find us funny, outspoken, or emotional. Others find us brash, loud, overly ambitious, and (if you’re from certain parts of Goldenrod or Olivine) possibly some kind of delinquent. 

If I recall correctly, Mahogany Town is a bit more removed from the regional customs than many other cities and towns in Johto—including Goldenrod—and as such, the regional rivalry with Sinnoh isn’t quite as lively there as it is elsewhere. Conversely, Canalave City, being the entryway into the Sinnoh region as well as one of its many cultural centers (thanks to the Canalave Library), is also home to those who are very, very dedicated to Sinnohan customs, including maintaining a rather … welcoming attitude towards anyone who speaks with one of the Johtonian dialects.

Granted, yes, it’s also true that Sinnohans “worship” a dark-type legendary and a ghost-type legendary (in that they fear them—greatly), but for that reason, any researcher or expert who wishes to study them tends to be higher respected than one would think. There’s a reason why Canalave has a library, after all: knowledge is power in Sinnoh.

So in other words, it’s probably less because of your type specialties and more because, well, you may obviously be from Johto. This isn’t to say you absolutely must change yourselves to fit in. Speaking as someone who had left Johto to live in Kanto (a region home to even more colorful opinions of Johtonians than anything that’s crossed a Sinnohan’s mind), it’s possible to get along just fine within a region that customarily thinks you’re hilarious and quaint. In your case, I would recommend establishing yourselves as serious experts of your types. Help other Sinnohans overcome their fear of dark- or ghost-types and teach them the proper way to care for ordinary pokémon of your respective elements. The more you can serve as a teacher to others, the easier it will be to get people to feel comfortable with you … or at least take you seriously.

And because I’m certain at least one of my colleagues is just waiting to make a comment about that last part, I would like to remind all of you that I am, in fact, well-respected within the Pokémon Association and that one of you who I’m sure would love to imply otherwise also speaks with a Goldenrod accent, Bebe.

Pumpkaboo and Gourgeist

Pumpkaboo
The Pumpkin Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Grass
Official Registration #: 710
Entry: This pokémon’s body consists of a pumpkin inhabited by a spirit. According to Kalosean folklore, the spirit awakens at sunset and maneuvers its pumpkin across fields and forests to locate wandering spirits and help them to cross over into the spiritual realm. According to Kalosean custom, meanwhile, the pumpkin makes an excellent pie, but seeing as the author is lactose intolerant and therefore cannot eat a pie whose secondary ingredients include butter and evaporated milk, he will just have to take his Kalosean colleagues’ word for it.

Gourgeist
The Pumpkin Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Grass
Official Registration #: 711
Entry: The evolved form of pumpkaboo, via trading. This willowy, pumpkin-like pokémon is known for its hair-like arms, which it uses to ensnare prey. Once prey is ensnared, gourgeist sings to them, instilling on them horrific visions of shadows and demons. Unlike most ghost-types, gourgeist does not do this to feed on a human’s fear; rather, they do it because they’re entertained by human pain and suffering. Also entertained by human pain and suffering: the trainer of a certain gourgeist, who thought it would be more appropriate to film a video of his mentor being subdued by his gourgeist and then share it with many of the other storage system administrators, all of whom were equally as entertained and disinclined to untangle the poor, helpless researcher who did nothing wrong to that gourgeist.

Shuppet and Banette

Shuppet
The Puppet Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 353
Entry: This handkerchief-like pokémon floats through the air at night, feeding off negative emotions. It’s particularly attracted to overwhelming feelings of jealousy, vindictiveness, or general anger, and it will congregate with many other shuppet under the eaves of houses where someone is experiencing particularly strong variations of these emotions. For that reason, if you see entire flocks of these pokémon nestled along the gutters of a house, it’s very likely that inside resides a murderer, a scorned lover, or a teenager going through the Hoennian public high school system.

I’m going to assume you’re not thinking of anyone in particular. —LH

…I’ve tried for the past half an hour to come up with something witty to say in response, but I’ve realized saying any one of the things that came to mind would result in terrible, terrible consequences. —Bill

Good boy. —LH

Banette
The Marionette Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 354
Entry: The evolved form of shuppet, by battle experience. This doll-like pokémon is said to have been the reanimated remnants of a discarded toy, given new life by cursed energies trapped within it. Powered by its need for either vengeance or closure, it moves at night, supposedly to seek out its former owner. Typically, when presented with a name that reminds him of one of his colleagues, the author would make a witty comment involving that pokémon and said colleague, but seeing as only one system administrator has a name that rhymes with “banette” and seeing as the author realizes going down this route would be a terrible idea, he’s just going to leave the entry at that. It is a cursed doll pokémon and nothing more, and there is absolutely nothing funny to point out about it. Yes.

Okay, now you’re pushing it. —LH

Phantump and Trevenant

Phantump
The Stump Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Grass
Official Registration #: 708
Entry: This small spirit pokémon is actually a stump possessed by the soul of a child who died while lost in a forest. In light of this, the author once attempted to convince the Pokémon Association to ban the use of this pokémon in battles … until it was found out that in many cases, this is a dream come true for the child-turned-phantump, and to make a long story short, the author spent the next few weeks questioning his life decisions and the world as a whole.

Trevenant
The Elder Tree Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Grass
Official Registration #: 709
Entry: The evolved form of phantump, via trading. Using its roots as a nervous system, trevenant has the power to tap into and manipulate the trees around it. It most often uses this ability to trap those who harm the forest, but every so often, it traps and confuses children as well, who subsequently die and become phantump. Because no one is more brutal towards children than the spirits of other children, apparently.

The Duskull Line

Duskull
The Requiem Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 355
Entry: A small, reaper-like pokémon native to mountainous regions. This pokémon is quite fond of small children, and it’s known to appear suddenly before crying ones in particular. After that, researchers aren’t entirely sure what happens, but according to Hoennian folklore, it whisks the noisiest ones away in the middle of the night to a strange and wondrous place. The story doesn’t entirely go into what a duskull would do with a child after that point, but the author has no doubt that this pokémon fully intends on making friends with them and feeding them candy.

No, Bill. Just … no. —LH

Dusclops
The Beckon Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 356
Entry: The evolved form of duskull, by battle experience. Dusclops’s body is completely hollow, save for an unending void which is said to suck out one’s soul when they gaze deep into it. How do researchers know that dusclops is hollow save for an unending void that we can’t even directly observe? Well, readers, the author isn’t at liberty to say himself, but it certainly did not involve a stick, three expendable aides, a length of rope, a blindfold, and the distant hope that there would be candy inside.

Dusknoir
The Gripping Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 477
Entry: The evolved form of dusclops, via trading, if the subject is wearing a reaper cloth. The golden disk on this pokémon’s head is actually an antenna through which it receives commands from the spirit world to recapture wandering spirits. Unable to do anything else but comply, dusknoir may stop what it’s doing and seek out a lost spirit. When it finds one, it stuffs the spirit into its pliant body and drags them back to the spirit world. The author also realizes that this satisfies the tastes of at least three different questionably moral internet subcultures, so he’ll end the entry right about here.

Sableye

Sableye
The Darkness Pokémon
Type: Dark/Ghost
Official Registration #: 302
Entry: A small, imp-like pokémon first discovered in the cave systems of Hoenn. In the wild, this pokémon subsists entirely on the jewels and precious stones found in its native habitat. It consumes so many of these on a daily basis that parts of its body have crystalized into gem-like forms. This includes its eyes; at birth, wild sableye actually possess two completely organic eyeballs. It’s just that these eyes harden into a diamond-like substance over time. Domestically bred sableye, however, possess these diamond eyes from the start, due to the fact that trainers and breeders wishing to hatch sableye are extremely careful in maintaining a high mineral content not only in the parents’ diet but also in the incubator holding the egg. And this is done because wild newborn sableye typically look like this:

image