Drilbur and Excadrill

Drilbur
The Mole Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 529
Entry: A foot-tall mole-like pokémon native to the cave systems of Unova. An extremely skilled digger, drilbur can dig through even solid rock at speeds of up to thirty miles an hour. It can therefore give cars running aboveground a good race. This is a fact that has actually been published in the Unovan pokédex, which honestly says more about either Unovan cars or past-times than it does about drilbur.

Excadrill
The Subterrene Pokémon
Type: Ground/Steel
Official Registration #: 530
Entry: The evolved form of drilbur, by battle experience. Upon evolution, excadrill gains steel-tipped claws and a drill-tipped helmet, both of which enable it to burrow up to 300 feet into the ground and/or straight through iron plates. It creates elaborate tunnel systems for labours consisting of scores of drilbur and excadrill, but such systems have been known to inflict damage on human structures, specifically subway systems. Luckily—considering the fact that excadrill’s native Unova has only one tunnel system that loops beneath Nimbasa and Anville, neither of which are places where excadrill are known to live—the actual damage to human construction the average excadrill causes tends to be minimal at best.

Sandshrew and Sandslash

Sandshrew
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 27
Entry: A pangolin-like pokémon native to dry grasslands and deserts. This pokémon possesses a rough, sandy hide capable of soaking up moisture from the dirt around it as it digs its burrows. Because of the consistency of its hide—along with its unique, sponge-like ability—sandshrew don’t need to drink much water and, in fact, shy away from it in all its forms as much as possible. Except, of course, in Alola, where sandshrew have adapted to become ice and steel types for reasons that surely make sense in a region that hosts plenty of other habitats a sandshrew can congregate in.

Sandslash
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 28
Entry: The evolved form of sandshrew, by battle experience. This pokémon is covered in sharp spikes, which are actually hardened sections of its hide. These spikes serve a largely defensive purpose: when threatened, a sandshrew will curl into a ball, forcing its spikes to stand on end and discourage physical attacks. In rare cases, a sandslash may be able to spin and move while in this position, thus crashing into enemies and obstacles. Such sandslash have also been noted to be faster, slightly bluer, and somehow “cooler” than other members of its species.

Unova Legendaries, Part VI

Tornadus
The Cyclone Pokémon
Type: Flying
Official Registration #: 641
Entry: According to Unovan culture, Tornadus is the embodiment of severe winds. As such, this djinn-like pokémon is noted for flying through the air at speeds of over 250 miles per hour and creating hurricane-level winds wherever it goes. As a flying-type legendary, it is also gifted with powerful wind-based attacks, which it fires from its tail and which are capable of leveling a house in seconds. Given the fact that the author has just described a pokémon as being capable of generating powerful gusts of wind capable of destroying a house from its tail, he will now pause and allow his readers to get every remark they are most likely thinking about Tornadus out of their systems.

Thundurus
The Bolt Strike Pokémon
Type: Electric/Flying
Official Registration #: 642
Entry: According to Unovan culture, Thundurus is the embodiment of severe thunderstorms. As such, this djinn-like pokémon is noted for flying through the air at high speeds and striking the earth wherever it goes with powerful bolts of lightning. These random attacks have been known to cause intense forest fires throughout the region that devastate not only pokémon habitats but also human settlements. For this reason, although Thundurus is still respected as a legendary, it does not maintain a favorable reputation. On the other hand, it is said that a pokémon of equal strength may be sufficient enough to stop a rampaging Thundurus in its tracks, so in other words, there are times when only Mew can prevent forest fires.

Landorus
The Abundance Pokémon
Type: Ground/Flying
Official Registration #: 645
Entry: According to Unovan culture, Landorus is the embodiment of bounty and fertility. The actual reason why is because it apparently has the ability to bless the land and grant its inhabitants a good harvest, but given the fact that this bare-chested djinn fertilizes the soil by shooting energy from its tail, the author is just going to stop right here and allow readers to get every remark they are most likely thinking about Landorus out of their systems.

The Rhyhorn Line

Rhyhorn
The Spikes Pokémon
Type: Ground/Rock
Official Registration #: 111
Entry: This rhinoceros-like pokémon possesses a hefty body reinforced by a rock-like hide. Due to its weight and durability, the average rhyhorn is capable of inflicting a devastating amount of damage. However, this ability, combined with its bulk and relative lack of intelligence, mean stampedes of this pokémon can be incredibly dangerous or even deadly, as once it begins to charge, it finds it difficult to turn or prevent itself from plowing into and destroying anything in its path. So naturally, Kaloseans have developed rhyhorn racing, a sport in which human riders spur rhyhorn forward at each specimen’s topmost speed along a winding track, likely because when your culture is built upon centuries of war and death, your residents end up with unfortunate judgment.

Bill, your home region’s culture was built upon centuries of war and death. —LH

Yes, well, look at Johto’s reputation. —Bill

Okay, fair point. —LH

Rhydon
The Drill Pokémon
Type: Ground/Rock
Official Registration #: 112
Entry: The evolved form of rhyhorn, by battle experience. Upon evolution, this pokémon rises to its hind feet. This gives it the ability to use its hands for stability, allowing it to brace itself against walls or its opponent as it drills. Additionally, the drill on its head is said to be harder than diamond and capable of punching holes into virtually anything, including solid bedrock. It should be noted that although the horns of male rhyhorn are longer than those of the female, they are not phallic objects either, Bebe.

Rhyperior
The Drill Pokémon
Type: Ground/Rock
Official Registration #: 464
Entry: The evolved form of rhydon, via trading if the subject has had a protector applied to it. This tank-like pokémon can withstand the heat and force of a volcanic eruption, and its cannon-like arms are capable of shooting rocks the size of geodude. These rocks are not produced by the rhyperior (unlike the rocks of many other rock-types’ attacks) but are, rather, picked up from the ground and inserted into the holes in its palms. In rare cases, rhyperior may pick up actual geodude and use them as ammunition. Given the image of a pokémon inserting a living or otherwise foreign object into a hole within its body, it should be noted that this is neither a euphemism, nor is it particularly pleasant for the geodude involved.

Onix and Steelix

Onix
The Rock Snake Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 96
Entry: A giant serpentine pokémon native to the cave systems of Kanto and Johto. As it grows, onix’s stone body hardens until its skin resembles diamond, which protects it as it burrows at high speeds in search of sustenance … all of which is not an extended euphemism, contrary to the opinions of the Sinnohan storage system administrator.

Steelix
The Iron Snake Pokémon
Type: Steel/Ground
Official Registration #: 208
Entry: The evolved form of onix, most easily via trading if the subject has had a metal coat applied to it. As this snake-like pokémon ages, it burrows deeper into the ground, where the pressure of the earth itself and the heat from the planet’s core tempers its steel skin. While tamed steelix may have this coat artificially applied to it before trading, it is possible for steelix to evolve from wild onix. Using this process, steelix initially have a rocky hide but form their coats from the minerals it consumes as it burrows. A sheath begins to form on its face first (as this is the first thing that burrows into the ground) but gradually slides backwards until it coats the entire length of the specimen. Friction compacts and hardens this coat until the aforementioned process of tempering (via pressure from the earth and heat from the planetary core) may occur. And no, this is still not an extended euphemism, Bebe.

The Burmy Line

Burmy
The Bagworm Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 412
Entry: A small, larval pokémon native to Sinnohan forests. Burmy’s actual body is small and fragile, so it covers itself with anything within reach to create a cloak capable of softening blows against it as well as camouflaging it in its immediate environment. Additionally, “within reach” does, in fact, mean within reach, so burmy that find themselves in urban environments frequently use trash to cover themselves. It is possibly for this reason that this small, fragile creature known for burying itself in trash has become a symbol for the users of certain social media platforms on the internet.

Wormadam
The Bagworm Pokémon
Type: Bug/Grass or Bug/Ground or Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 413
Entry: The evolved form of female burmy, by battle experience. Somehow, the process of evolution fuses a newly formed female burmy to her coat, resulting in a wormadam that is permanently covered in leaves, stones, or other conveniently placed debris. Thus, there are indeed wormadam permanently fused to a coat of trash, which some users on the aforementioned social media platform have said makes this pokémon even more relatable.

Mothim
The Moth Pokémon
Type: Bug/Flying
Official Registration #: 414
Entry: The evolved form of male burmy, by battle experience. Upon evolution, male burmy break free from their cloaks and fly on gigantic wings across the region. This act of breaking free then allows mothim the utmost maneuverability, which in turn gives him the ability to steal honey from combee, chase down and mate with any wormadam he comes across, and make his home anywhere without needing to build a nest. It is for all three reasons that some users on the aforementioned social media platforms believe that “mothim’s trash cloak is on the inside.”

The Turtwig Line

Turtwig
The Tiny Leaf Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 387
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Sinnoh. A small tortoise pokémon native to Sinnohan forests, turtwig is known for its soil-packed shell and its ability to photosynthesize, as well as the misconception that, as a small, shelled reptile, it is in any way related to squirtle or tirtouga. In actuality, turtwig occupy a completely different family from either of these pokémon. One can easily tell the difference by adaptations: whereas squirtle and tirtouga fare perfectly well in water, throwing a turtwig into the ocean produces far grimmer results.

Grotle
The Grove Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 388
Entry: The evolved form of turtwig, by battle experience. All grotle possess the ability to dowse, or to locate sources of pure water based on innate sense alone. Its hardened shell has developed into a smooth, comfortable seat, and using both its dowsing ability and its developed shell, it ferries pokémon that had once been larger than it to these water sources … typically to throw them in as petty revenge for all the times that they had thrown it in when it was a turtwig.

Torterra
The Continent Pokémon
Type: Grass/Ground
Official Registration #: 389
Entry: The evolved form of grotle, by battle experience. After evolution, torterra and their trees continue to grow, and their shells continue to harden. As a result, they grow more lethargic as time goes on, making them slow and large enough for small pokémon to create nests on its back. In ancient times, certain cultures looked to this behavior and concluded that the entire world must actually be on the back of a giant torterra … which is preposterous, as everyone knows that the world is actually supported by four donphan riding on the back of a massive carracosta.

The Mudkip Line

Mudkip
The Mud Fish Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 258
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Hoenn. A small, amphibious pokémon native to Hoennian rivers. It uses its large head fin to sense the flow of water and its large back fin to propel itself through turbulent currents with surprising power for its size. Likewise, the large gills on its cheek allow it to breathe even in the murkiest, muddiest depths, and its physical strength alone allows it to pick up and push boulders along river bottoms. In general, mudkip is a fascinating pokémon, and this is because the species itself carries a number of interesting qualities, not because someone “herd u liek it.”

Marshtomp
The Mud Fish Pokémon
Type: Water/Ground
Official Registration #: 259
Entry: The evolved form of mudkip, by battle experience. An amphibious pokémon primarily native to rivers and banks, marshtomp had to develop strong, bulky legs to compensate for the fact that its habitat lacks stable footing. Thus, marshtomp is capable of literally standing through even the fiercest earthquakes, the likes of which routinely plague its volcanic home region of Hoenn. A less composed young researcher would likely say that marshtomp has had the foresight to “not skip leg day,” but luckily, the writer is not the storage system administrator of Sinnoh.

Swampert
The Mud Fish Pokémon
Type: Water/Ground
Official Registration #: 260
Entry: The evolved form of marshtomp, by battle experience. Never let its seemingly cute species name fool you. In actuality, swampert is a four-foot-tall mass of pure, sea-tempered muscle. It is powerful enough to tow ships to shore, rend boulders in two with one swipe of its bulky arms, swim against the current of stormy waves, dive to the depths of the Hoennian sea, and spew jets of water that can tear holes in the hull of the ships it had towed to shore at the beginning of this list. About the only thing cute about it is the fact that it still wears a perpetual grin and enjoys belly rubs and literally sucking down insect prey, just like its ancestral cousin, quagsire.

Shellos and Gastrodon

Shellos
The Sea Slug Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 422
Entry: A colorful gastropod pokémon that live in a wide variety of warm, shallow seas. Shellos colors vary from sea to sea, depending on the composition and temperature of the sea itself, as well as other factors, such as the primary species of local coral. Contrary to popular belief, shellos are not the pokémon that possess the ability to expel their stomachs as a defense mechanism and unique digestive technique. Rather, they are the pokémon that possess brightly-colored stinging cells armed with toxic venom that is capable of paralyzing predators that attempt to grasp its slippery body too roughly … a fact that, conveniently, is conveyed through a warning in the form of shellos’s brilliant coloration.

Gastrodon
The Sea Slug Pokémon
Type: Water/Ground
Official Registration #: 423
Entry: The evolved form of shellos, by battle experience. A large, sea hare pokémon, gastrodon are herbivorous, docile creatures that roam the beds of shallow seas, hunting for seaweed. They are most notable for their defense mechanism: the ability to spray a cloud of purple ooze that is somehow more viscous and difficult to handle than even octillery ink. Studies show that gastrodon once had a rock-hard shell as well, but to be frank, when you evolve the ability to blind unwitting bystanders, such as an admittedly overzealous researcher, in waters you share with tentacruel and sharpedo, a shell would be somewhat excessive.

Golett and Golurk

Golett
The Automaton Pokémon
Type: Ground/Ghost
Official Registration #: 622
Entry: A short, robotic pokémon that mainly inhabits the ruins of Unova and Kalos. Born from clay, this automaton pokémon is said to be an ancient form of technology whose power source is still not yet well-understood by modern researchers. As a word of advice, it is extremely unwise to attempt to harness this energy source, either as a battery or for research purposes. It’s not so much because this pokémon naturally learns a variety of punching moves that can easily render an offending human hospitalized as it is because there is only one place on a golett a person may be able to plug in a cord, and to make a long and very awkward story short, the ancient peoples of Unova and Kalos had similarly horrifying senses of humor.

Golurk
The Automaton Pokémon
Type: Ground/Ghost
Official Registration #: 623
Entry: The evolved form of golett, by battle experience. Everything about golett had been specifically designed, including all of the details concerning its evolution. Thus, it was possible for the ancient people of Unova and Kalos to begin by raising and gaining the loyalty of their golett, only to have it grow into a bulkier, far more powerful golurk that was specially designed to serve as their protector. Golurk by itself is gifted with a wide variety of powers, including the ability to fly at mach speeds, despite its design and bulk. Yet should anyone be inclined to question how golurk is capable of that kind of flight, the author would like to take the time to point out the lack of forum threads concerning whether or not Gligarman’s abilities according to the comic series make sense. (Spoiler alert? They do not. Fight me, Glifan823.)