The Ralts Line

bills-pokedex:

As an apology for our delay in both the response to the last question and our entries as a whole, please accept this special, extra entry for the day. Thank you for your patience. —LH

Ralts
The Feeling Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 280
Entry: A childlike pokémon native to the quieter forests of Hoenn. Because of its ability to sense the emotions of others, it typically avoids contact with anything that is not of the ralts line and is, therefore, extremely rare and difficult to find. However, because of its timidity, its soft but cute cry, and its eagerness to please others (in order to neutralize any negativity that surrounds it), it is also a popular pokémon among children and young adults … which very likely does absolutely nothing to alleviate ralts’s aversion to drama and high doses of extreme emotion.

Kirlia
The Emotion Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 281
Entry: The evolved form of ralts, by battle experience. Although kirlia possesses more mastery over its psychic abilities than its predecessor, it is still prone to being highly affected by the emotions of its trainer. For example, trainers who experience incredible emotions of joy or pride may cause their kirlia to dance with happiness. Trainers suffering through negative emotions will find that their kirlia has become lethargic and depressed. And trainers in the vicinity of other humans they find incredibly attractive will cause their kirlia to ███████

Really, Bill? Really? —LH

Gardevoir
The Embrace Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 282
Entry: The evolved form of kirlia, by battle experience. Only the strongest trainers who form the closest, most loving bonds with their kirlia may see their pokémon evolve to their final, natural forms. Thus, a gardevoir is born out of strong feelings of loyalty, so it stands to reason that gardevoir in general are inherently extremely protective of their trainers. This is true; all observable tamed gardevoir have been known to go to extreme lengths to protect their trainers from any potential threat. Unfortunately for most people, “extreme lengths” may include creating a miniature black hole, and “potential threat” may include literally anyone within five feet of their trainers.

Gallade
The Blade Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fighting
Official Registration #: 475
Entry: The evolved form of male kirlia, by exposure to dawn stone. Although its sibling evolution results from the incredible bonds formed between a kirlia and another being, this does not mean gallade do not experience similarly intense urges to protect their trainers and loved ones. If anything, their ability to sense the emotions of potential foes, combined with the drive to battle inherent in all fighting-types and extreme fondness for using the swords hidden in their forearms, make them even more gung-ho about protecting the people and pokémon they value the most. Therefore, trainers should be extremely wary about teaching their gallade to attack only on command, rather than any time they sense danger. Well-meaning researchers who intend to give gallade to sisters with questionable tastes in men, however, are free to teach their pokémon whatever they wish.

They aren’t, but good try. —LH

Mega Gardevoir
The Embrace Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 282+
Entry: The advanced form of gardevoir, with gardevoirite. Due to this pokémon’s bridal appearance and strong associations with emotion, it’s said that those who manage to mega-evolve their gardevoir in tandem with a partner’s gallade are destined for one another. Unfortunately, the author has yet to verify these claims, as the only person he knows with a member of the ralts line has been a less-than-willing subject.

I’m not evolving my kirlia until he’s ready, just because you want to test the validity of old wives’ tales! Also, you don’t even have a gallade! —LH

Mega Gallade
The Blade Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fighting
Official Registration #: 475+
Entry: The advanced form of gallade, with galladite. Due to this pokémon’s noble, swordsman-like appearance and strong associations with protection, it’s said that those who manage to mega-evolve their gallade in tandem with a partner’s gardevoir are their partner’s destined protector. Unfortunately, the author has yet to verify these claims, as the only person he knows who could secure a galladite for testing has been forbidden (by the editor of this blog) from selling evolution stones of any sort to him without the reassurance that it’s not for science.

Stop telling Steven you’ve gotten my permission too! —LH

I am from Sootopolis, Hoenn and I recently took a vacation to Alola where I caught an alolan vulpix. Would she do alright living in Hoenn?

Yes, of course. Alola and Hoenn have very similar climates, and although Alolan Vulpix are specifically native to the colder, more mountainous parts of Alola, they fare just as well in the sunnier, more humid coastal areas. Moreover, as Sootopolis benefits from the shadows of the caldera it’s located in, your home may even be cooler than the Alolan coastlines many tamed Alolan vulpix grow up around. Just be sure she’s always hydrated, and brush her daily to keep her fur coat thinned and free from any heat-trapping debris. Otherwise, she should be fine.

What do you consider good outfit choices for a starting trainer in each region?

Are they aware of what your fashion sense is like? —LH

Excuse you. I have an impeccable fashion sense. Also, you’ve clearly been speaking to my older sister, and I would appreciate it if you’d stop. Or at least tell her to give me back my jacket. How am I supposed to exude the aura of a steampunk mad scientist without it? —Bill

Is that what you were doing? —LH

Always dress for practicality, anonymous. Remember that you’ll be spending much of your time hiking outdoors, so you’ll need outfits that fit the typical climate and terrain of the region.

For example, Kanto and Johto are similar in terms of terrain and climate in that both are temperate areas with four seasons and plenty of mountainous terrain. (Johto is, incidentally, slightly more mountainous than Kanto.) What outfit you’ll need depends on the season, then, but always have a decent pair of walking shoes or hiking boots to navigate the more mountainous routes. Pants—regardless of what certain younger trainers will tell you—tend to be better choices than shorts shirts due to the prevalence of tall grasses in Kanto and ground-dwelling poison-, grass-, and bug-types in the forests of Johto.

Hoenn is far warmer and more tropical (despite being not that far from Kanto and Johto), and it’s far, far wetter. Shorts and short-sleeved shirts are best here to help keep one cool, and sneakers or waterproof shoes will help a new trainer navigate the sandier and muddier terrains. Keep in mind also that part of your journey through Hoenn will take you past volcanic areas and through an actual desert, so be sure to wear sunscreen and hydrate yourself.

Sinnoh, by contrast, is a far cooler region. Some areas are perpetually covered with snow, and the southernmost parts of Sinnoh rarely reach temperatures above 70 degrees Fahrenheit. Jackets, long-sleeved shirts, and pants are highly recommended, and consider bringing a warm coat if you plan on fully exploring Mt. Coronet and other northerly points. Additionally, some parts of Sinnoh are wetter than others. While traversing these, keep in mind that denim retains moister far better than other materials, so jeans are ill-advised (as wearing wet jeans can cool your body temperature to dangerous degrees, especially as you sleep in the cooler Sinnohan wilderness).

Unova is similar to Kanto and Johto in that it also experiences four seasons, but it tends to be somewhat warmer and dryer (and dustier…) than the others. Part of this is due to the giant desert taking up a large portion of the region, and other parts are due to the fact that Castelia and Nimbasa have the very strange ability of leaving anyone who passes through them with the distinct feeling of being covered in film. Long sleeves, pants, and walking shoes that are suitable for a large amount of use on concrete are ideal. (Yes, even through the Unovan desert. There are sandstorms there, and as such, you will likely regret leaving any part of you unprotected. On that note, pack goggles if traveling to this part of the region.) Also, be aware that the outer edges of the region are swampier and full of more coastline than Central Unova, so bring an extra pair of socks.

Kalos likewise is a more temperate region, but it shares many similarities with Sinnoh. Parts of it (namely Snowbelle and the areas surrounding Dendemille) are perpetually covered with snow, but other than that, Kalos is full of coastline, marshland, and forests, while the average temperature may be comparable to a sunny autumn day. Long sleeves and pants are likewise advisable, and a coat is essential for the more wintry areas (especially Route 17).

Finally, Alola is a highly tropical region and famous for being such. Its key attractions for trainers include lush rainforests, volcanoes, seaside caves, and plenty of coastline, as well as the perpetually snowy Mount Lanakila. Additionally, while most days are sunny, it’s not unusual to be caught up in a heavy tropical downpour, especially during the monsoon season. Wear clothing that will keep you cool but always keep a poncho close at hand. A coat is advisable if scaling Mount Lanakila, but it’s better to keep this in storage until you absolutely need it, as the rest of the region tends to be blistering hot. (Well, if you’re used to Johtonian temperatures, anyway.)

Otherwise, be sure to do your research into the region you’re visiting. Many trainers keep travel blogs to help newer crowds decide things such as what to pack, so it may be worth it to run a search on the region you’re considering.

Best of luck, new trainers!

The Whismur Line

Whismur
The Whisper Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 293
Entry: A small, rabbit-like pokémon first discovered in the cave systems of Hoenn. It prefers quiet, difficult-to-reach places, as it is notoriously timid and easy-to-startle. While normally a soft-spoken pokémon, it is fully capable of releasing cries at ear-splitting volumes, and it does in fact do just that whenever startled or scared. Unfortunately, because it’s often unused to its voice, it can also startle itself or those around it, thus building up not only the volume but also the number of whismur cries in a given area. Yet very likely, despite the fact that the resulting sounds can likely destroy sensitive equipment as well as the human eardrum, a cave full of whismur is still objectively more desirable to listen to than a toddler on an airplane.

Loudred
The Big Voice Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 294
Entry: The evolved form of whismur, by battle experience. As tempting as it may be, it is actually a terrible idea to use this pokémon as an alarm clock. While, yes, a loudred shout could wake you up from the deepest of slumbers, that is just one end of the spectrum. The other end of the spectrum involves permanent hearing loss and structural damage, and few loudred understand how to discern which end of the spectrum is appropriate to use when.

Exploud
The Loud Noise Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 295
Entry: The evolved form of loudred, by battle experience. A shout from a single exploud is loud enough to be heard up to six miles away and destructive enough to shatter every single window of a house it’s occupying at any given moment. Simultaneous shouts from a full team of six exploud, however, is a transcendent experience.

Makuhita and Hariyama

Makuhita
The Guts Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 296
Entry: While it’s true that Symposium makes an effort to choose designations that fit their respective pokémon, makuhita’s designation is especially apt due to its bravery and tenacity. No matter what is thrown at a makuhita, it either endures it or gets back up shortly afterwards. Some even throw themselves right back into the fray in the exact same way that had gotten them knocked down in the first place.

Bill, I swear to both of our pantheons that if you reference yet another somewhat popular 90s pop song that only a fraction of our readers remember… —LH

Well, I wasn’t going to, but if you’re going to tempt me, okay. —Bill

Makuhita gets knocked down, but it gets back up again. You aren’t ever going to keep it down. It does not, however, piss the night away, as alcohol is generally toxic to pokémon.

Hariyama
The Arm Thrust Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 297
Entry: The evolved form of makuhita, by battle experience. Incidentally, yes, high fives with this pokémon end just about as well as one would think they would.

The Bagon Line

Bagon
The Rock Head Pokémon
Type: Dragon
Official Registration #: 371
Entry: A small, dragon-like pokémon first discovered in the cave systems of Hoenn. The most notable fact about this dragon-like pokémon is its passion for learning how to fly. Indeed, it believes it can fly. It believes it can touch the sky. It thinks about it every night and day: spreading its wings and flying away.

I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that you know that song in the first place or the fact that you’re not above quoting it in lieu of a proper entry. —LH

Shelgon
The Endurance Pokémon
Type: Dragon
Official Registration #: 372
Entry: The evolved form of bagon, by battle experience. Shelgon is essentially the ultimate middle evolution. It represents the crossroads between the ever idealistic bagon with its dreams of flying and the high-flying salamence. However, in the process, shelgon is also literally a chrysalis, a stage in which a member of the bagon family slowly turns into a flight-capable pokémon, cell by cell. As such, shelgon possesses a hard, armor-like shell that fully protects it from any physical assault during its transformation. Although such a shell is rock-hard, it’s also extremely cumbersome, and because of this, most shelgon are slow and sluggish. This, of course, is a good thing—not because its slow pace allows it to focus on bracing for impact and more because it allows the average researcher to test exactly how durable this shell and then run away before enduring a Bite themselves.

Salamence
The Dragon Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Flying
Official Registration #: 373
Entry: The evolved form of shelgon, by battle experience. Also: a large, dragon-like pokémon that is roughly the size and shape of a winged wailmer. According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way this pokémon should be able to fly. Its wings are too awkwardly shaped to get its hefty body off the ground. The salamence, of course, flies anyway because it doesn’t care what humans think is impossible.

Okay, now you’re just being lazy. It’s not even a bee. —LH

To be fair, it’s a dragon-type, dragon-like pokémon the Symposium saw fit to call “the dragon pokémon.” I firmly believe I’m the least lazy person involved with distributing information about it. —Bill

Feebas and Milotic

Feebas
The Fish Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 349
Entry: Because of its rather plain appearance, many trainers and researchers overlook this pokémon in favor of the far more wondrous-looking creatures that cohabit its native freshwater streams. It’s a shame, really, as all feebas have the potential to be fascinating subjects. For example, it’s fascinating that feebas can eat quite literally anything in its path. It’s fascinating that they’re so resilient and tenacious that they can thrive in even the most polluted environments. It’s fascinating that feebas are not rare at all but rather congregate only in the warmest parts of a river, often packing themselves tightly into a square foot of water just to remain in that spot. It’s fascinating that despite the apparent elusiveness of this pokémon, they are also apparently extremely easy to catch, as they will latch onto baited hooks over and over again, sometimes even immediately after being thrown back into a river by the exact same trainer. Or, in short, it’s fascinating that feebas are absolutely, fantastically, and uncannily human-like.

Milotic
The Tender Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 350
Entry: The evolved form of feebas, via trading if the subject has been given a prism scale. Said to be the most beautiful pokémon in existence (and certainly the most soothing to look at), milotic has been, for countless generations, a sort of muse to humankind—an inspiration to countless works of art, music, literature, and so forth. Because of the fact that it evolves from such a plain-looking pokémon, it is also said to be a bit of a metaphor, specifically for the idea that inner beauty is far more important than outer. However, considering the fact that both feebas and milotic are judged based on their looks and the fact that some milotic are extraordinarily vain pokémon liable to turn a Hydro Pump on any trainer who fails to polish their iridescent scales in just the right way, the author is inclined to believe that whoever insists milotic is a metaphor has very likely missed a rather important point here.

Shroomish and Breloom

Shroomish
The Mushroom Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 285
Entry: Contrary to popular belief, this mushroom-like pokémon is not hallucinogenic. You cannot, as the urban legend claims, snort its powdery spores in order to experience transcendental visions. Rather, its spores are actually toxic and will simply cause paralysis and full-body pain when inhaled. Also contrary to popular belief, the author does not know this from experience; he simply went to college with several gullible gentlemen and a girl who had a shroomish and a strong dislike for college first-years who would hit on her then-fifteen-year-old sister.

Breloom
The Mushroom Pokémon
Type: Grass/Fighting
Official Registration #: 286
Entry: The evolved form of shroomish, by battle experience. It’s never easy to figure out whether one should be more wary of the front end of the back end of a breloom. On the one hand (no pun intended), breloom are famous for their lightning-fast punches and kicks, facilitated by the elasticity of their claw-tipped limbs. On the other, they also possess hollow rattles on their tails—seeds containing highly toxic spores capable of inducing horrendous stomach aches when ingested. Should anyone wonder exactly how the dangers of ingesting breloom seeds are relevant to its battling style, please note that breloom can learn no fewer than four different seed-based attacks, two of which come naturally. And yes, this is something the author knows from first-hand experience.

Baltoy and Claydol

Baltoy
The Clay Doll Pokémon
Type: Ground/Psychic
Official Registration #: 343
Entry: In the decades following its discovery deep within the ancient desert ruins of Hoenn, multiple experiments have been conducted by the topmost researchers in the field of pokémology to study the limitations of baltoy’s balance. Baltoy have been subjected to everything from rain to earthquakes to being forced to balance on quicksand, yet no matter what terrain or conditions it’s put through, baltoy never falters or wavers as it spins about on a single foot. It does, however, get rather angry when one attempts to throw it off-balance—specifically, the sort of angry that leads to Self-Destruct.

Claydol
The Clay Doll Pokémon
Type: Ground/Psychic
Official Registration #: 344
Entry: The evolved form of baltoy, by battle experience. According to anthropologists, paintings on the temple walls of a variety of ancient civilizations indicate that baltoy had been created for either religious or magical purposes. Some cultures used them to “absorb” illnesses, while others used them as effigies of fertility goddesses. Whatever the reason for baltoy’s creation may have been, one thing is consistent among all accounts: the more a baltoy was used, the stronger it became until it evolved at last into a larger, more potent form. From what anthropologists can gather, resulting claydol were often revered within ancient societies, as the increase in both size and power were seen by primitive humans as the gods’ attempts at literally embodying the idols that had been crafted for them. …Of course, the fact that all claydol are telekinetic and capable of shooting destructive beams from both hands likely helped this perception too.

The Snorunt Line

Snorunt
The Snow Hat Pokémon
Type: Ice
Official Registration #: 361
Entry: Despite the fact that this childlike pokémon is much more comfortable in regions with heavy snow, it was curiously first discovered in the Hoenn region, specifically in the lower chambers of Shoal Cave. Given the general warmth of the seawater in that region, the presence of snorunt—and, in fact, the frigid environment of the cavern it lives in—has baffled researchers since its initial discovery. However, the author would also like to remind the research community that this is the same region whose legendary pantheon includes a giant sentient block of never-melt ice, so honestly, the fact that there is a chamber that has been iced over and sealed off from the outside world for centuries should come as a surprise to absolutely no one.

Glalie
The Face Pokémon
Type: Ice
Official Registration #: 362
Entry: The evolved form of snorunt, by battle experience. Through the process of evolution, a snorunt gains a shell of rock, which in turn collects a thick hide of ice thanks to the instantaneous freezing of the moisture in the air immediately surrounding it. The resulting pokémon is a creature that not only has the ability to instantly freeze anything surrounding it but also appears to be a giant, floating, disembodied head. Yet despite its intimidating powers and appearance, it’s actually quite gentle, largely because it retains the shyness of its pre-evolved form. Despite this, it is still not recommended to come into physical contact with a glalie, largely because—thanks to its ability to instantaneously freeze anything within immediate vicinity of it—skin-to-shell contact has the same effect as licking a metal pole in the dead of winter (not that the author has done either).

Froslass
The Snow Land Pokémon
Type: Ice/Ghost
Official Registration #: 478
Entry: The evolved form of female snorunt, by exposure to dawn stone. Sinnohan legends warn about froslass. According to regional folklore, travelers lost on snowy mountains may encounter what appears to be a beautiful woman beckoning to them. If one goes to this woman, they will quickly find a wild froslass instead, who will immediately freeze them and drag them to her lair. Whether or not this is true is still a matter of debate, but it is known that tamed froslass do have a habit of staring at their trainers oddly and growing unsettlingly quiet whenever it snows. The author reassures his readers, however, that there have been no cases of a tamed froslass kidnapping their trainers and stealing them away to frozen wastelands … that he knows of, anyway.

Stop scaring the readers. You know that only happened six times in recorded history. —LH