Shellder and Cloyster

Shellder
The Bivalve Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 90
Entry: A scallop-like pokémon native to the waters of Kanto and Johto. Although it is most known for resting on the sandy bottom of the shallower parts of the sea, shellder is actually a highly mobile pokémon. It swims by clamping its shell open and closed and steering with its tongue, thus bobbing up and down and “dancing” through the ocean currents. There really is no joke here; the author just wishes to leave you with the mental image of a shellder swimming. It is, indeed, quite a fantastic sight to behold.

Cloyster
The Bivalve Pokémon
Type: Water/Ice
Official Registration #: 91
Entry: The evolved form of shellder, by exposure to water stone. Protected by a rock-hard shell, this clam-like pokémon is capable of withstanding even the toughest blasts. Nothing can penetrate it unless it opens up for the purpose of attacking by thrusting itself forward and jamming its opponent with the short spike adorning its pearl-like head. Given the shape of this pokémon, it is important to note that this is also not a euphemism, regardless of what anyone says, Bebe.

Lapras

Lapras
The Transport Pokémon
Type: Water/Ice
Official Registration #: 131
Entry: An elusive but gentle sea monster pokémon. In ages past, lapras had been herded because their firm shells and hardiness, along with their docile personalities, made them ideal pokémon for ferrying people across large bodies of water. However, their friendliness towards humans have also made them easy to capture en masse—which, of course, humans did. Thus, lapras has become the physical embodiment of that age-old saying, “And this is why we can’t have nice things.”

The Swinub Line

Swinub
The Pig Pokémon
Type: Ice/Ground
Official Registration #: 220
Entry: A small, pig-like pokémon known for its sensitive nose. This nose can detect practically anything from quite a distance away, including truffles, treasure, and buried hot springs. It runs headlong towards any scent it finds interesting and, upon locating its source, instantly digs in an attempt to unbury it. This is unfortunate, not only because of its tendency to run into anything standing between it and its goal but also because of the part where it, a ground-type, sometimes finds buried hot springs.

Piloswine
The Swine Pokémon
Type: Ice/Ground
Official Registration #: 221
Entry: The evolved form of swinub, by battle experience. Led by its incredibly sensitive nose, this pokémon runs headlong towards odors it finds interesting, just as its pre-evolved form does. However, given the fact that this is a four-foot-tall, 123-pound pig with fur that obscures its eyes and foot-long tusks, the act of running headlong into the things between it and its goal becomes more unfortunate for anything in its way, rather than for the piloswine itself.

Mamoswine
The Twin Tusk Pokémon
Type: Ice/Ground
Official Registration #: 473
Entry: The evolved form of piloswine, by battle experience if the piloswine knows Ancient Power. Fossil evidence has shown that mamoswine has existed on the planet for over ten thousand years. However, mamoswine do not occur in the wild; they only exist as the evolved form of specially trained piloswine. There are two theories as to why this is. First and more scientific, temperatures rose over ten thousand years ago, resulting in a climate far too warm for mamoswine to exist. Second and less scientific, one only has to look at swinub and piloswine’s shared habits to hazard a really good guess involving mamoswine’s bulk, its unlikelihood to be adept at stopping, and the numbers of sharp glacial cliffs during its time.

Smoochum and Jynx

Smoochum
The Kiss Pokémon
Type: Ice/Psychic
Official Registration #: 238
Entry: A childlike pokémon noted for its extremely sensitive lips. Smoochum possess a high number of nerve endings in their lips, which they use to sense their environments. Much of their behavior revolves around getting close to things that they wish to inspect and giving them a kiss, an act that allows smoochum to take in touch, taste, and smell all at once. This act is also rather unfortunate because smoochum also use their lips to perform the attacks Lick, Sweet Kiss, Lovely Kiss, and Heart Stamp, and as baby pokémon, they have very little control over when their powers are activated.

Jynx
The Human Shape Pokémon
Type: Ice/Psychic
Official Registration #: 124
Entry: The evolved form of smoochum, by battle experience. Jynx are humanoid pokémon whose communicative patterns strongly resemble a combination of the spoken language and interpretive dances of human beings. Because of this, it is thought that jynx may be the first pokémon with whom humanity may one day establish verbal communications. However, all attempts to decipher the jynx language has been rather fruitless for the most part, as most translations of any given recording seem to be strings of expletives concerning “stupid humans on our burial grounds” … which surely must be a mistranslation of some kind.

Cryogonal

Cryogonal
The Crystallizing Pokémon
Type: Ice
Official Registration #: 615
Entry: A giant snowflake pokémon equipped with cryokinetic chains. This pokémon’s body is made of pure ice and is, therefore, susceptible to temperature changes. When its body temperature rises, cryogonal dissolves into steam and vanishes. When the ambient temperature drops, cryogonal returns to ice. What happens to cryogonal if a warm-blooded being inhales parts of it in its steam form is both unpleasant and best left to the imagination for the sake of good taste.

Delibird

Delibird
The Delivery Pokémon
Type: Ice/Flying
Official Registration #: 225
Entry: A short, penguin-like pokémon known for keeping food in its tail and for its signature move, Present. Present is a volatile move, capable of both bestowing healing gifts on allies and inflicting explosive “blessings” on enemies. Because of this signature move, some Johtonian folktales involve delibird visiting children on winter nights to give them presents. According to such tales, the children who have behaved all year receive small toys or sweets, but the children who have misbehaved receive the explosive variety of Present. Interestingly enough, this is the least violent myth commonly told to small children about what would happen to them if they misbehave, which should tell one quite a bit about Johtonian children, Johtonian parenting techniques, or the excellence of non-Johtonian therapists. The author is not quite sure which.

Kanto Legendaries, Part I

Articuno
The Freeze Pokémon
Type: Ice/Flying
Official Registration #: 144
Entry: The Kantonian spirit of ice and winter winds. According to legend, Articuno appears before lost travelers on snowy mountains to guide them to safety. Other legends refer to its ability to conjure strong blizzards and freeze entire bodies of water with each flap of its translucent wings. And still others have put two and two together and come up with the fact that it’s rather suspicious that you have a bird who can conjure blizzards by flapping its wings appearing before travelers who are lost on icy mountains thanks to blizzards. But that is, as the saying goes, none of this writer’s business.

Zapdos
The Electric Pokémon
Type: Electric/Flying
Official Registration #: 145
Entry: The Kantonian spirit of lightning and thunderstorms. According to legend, Zapdos once lived in the mountains of eastern Kanto, where it called down the thunder to spark forest fires and bring about the spark of rebirth. Nowadays, it lives in the Cerulean Power Plant, and workers there are perfectly fine with this because who wants to be the one to tell the ornery embodiment of thunderstorms that it can’t roost wherever it merry well pleases?

Moltres
The Flame Pokémon
Type: Fire/Flying
Official Registration #: 146
Entry: The Kantonian spirit of fire and spring zephyrs. According to Kantonian legend, Moltres flew on a pair of dazzling wings that conjured incredible bursts of flames with every flap. These same legends state that Moltres would dive into volcanoes and use lava to repair its injuries, that it could control blazing infernos, and that its mere presence can quell a raging blizzard. And meanwhile, in Kanto’s neighbor to the west, Johtonian legend states it flies south for the winter like a common swellow and comes back to make our crops grow. This may or may not be one of the many reasons why Kantonians are a little judgmental towards their western neighbors.

Please do Sneasel and Weavile, Bill.

Certainly!

Sneasel
The Sharp Claw Pokémon
Type: Dark/Ice
Official Registration #: 215
Entry: In Johtonian folklore, there is a creature called the kamaitachi, which was originally depicted as an invisible beast or whirlwind that lacerated hapless wanderers, leaving deep but painless wounds. Later research uncovered the fact that these demons were actually teams of sneasel that used Icy Wind to startle victims shortly before sneaking up on them to take them down. It goes without saying that this is yet another reason why Johtonians inherently possess an innate urge to set fire to everything within reach.

Weavile
The Sharp Claw Pokémon
Type: Dark/Ice
Official Registration #: 461
Entry: The evolved form of sneasel, by battle experience if holding a razor claw at night. Upon evolution, weavile become far more intelligent. Not only they have the ability to communicate through written language (which they carve on boulders in their territory to communicate with other weavile), but they also have the ability to coordinate and strategize, which they do in small but lethal groups. This would be unfortunate for Johtonians, except we had the foresight to gather all of our razor claws and export them to Sinnoh under the guise of a diplomatic gift. This, as expected, did not improve Johtonian-Sinnohian relations, and because we have subsequently recognized this as a jerk move, Johtonians as a whole didn’t put up much of a fight when Sinnoh built the Battle Frontier and exported to our region something worse than weavile: tourists.

If I’m allowed another shot then. Amaura (&Aurorus)? I love the little ice-dino.

Ah, reader, you may request as many pokémon as you wish!

Amaura
The Tundra Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ice
Official Registration #: 698
Entry: This gentle pokémon lived in the northernmost regions of the planet roughly 100 million years ago. However, evidence shows that amaura actually originated from warmer climates and migrated northward due to encroaching tyrunt and tyrantrum over a period of millennia. The gradual movement of these pokémon allowed it to adapt to colder weather and develop both its affinity with the ice element and its ability to use officially normal-type moves as if they were of the ice type instead. And we know all of this partly due to the skills developed by paleontologists over the past couple of centuries and partly because certain inventors have taken to reviving amaura from fossils alongside its only predator as if there is absolutely nothing wrong with that idea.

Aurorus
The Tundra Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ice
Official Registration #: 699
Entry: The evolved form of amaura, at night and by battle experience. Aurorus has apparently gained every adaptation possible for defending itself from its tyrantrum predators. Not only has it become adept at using ice-type moves (including those it improvises as being ice-type), but it is also capable of forging a wall of unbreakable ice, breathing gusts of air that reach temperatures of -240 degrees Fahrenheit, and, if all else fails, bringing attention to itself by projecting auras into the sky. Why might that last adaptation be its last resort, you ask? Because aurorus have been known to travel in large herds, and every individual aurorus is on average 496 pounds. Factor in the fact that tyrantrum were not known for hunting in packs, and you have possibly the most effective predatory deterrent short of any water-type pokémon using wailord as a shield.