Wait, what’s with Ho-oh’s wings?

Excellent question. It’s an oath, anonymous. Those who identify as Johtonian (that is, a member of the religion, not simply someone from Johto) consider oaths such as swearing on Ho-oh or Lugia’s wings—whichever of the two you place at the center of your beliefs—to be equivalent to, say, “as God as my witness” or similar statements the more human-centric followings would make. In other words, it’s perhaps the most serious oath one could make, reserved for promises a person intends on keeping or die trying. Personally, while I do believe that Ho-oh exists, that the story of the Tower is true, that one day, Ho-oh will return to Johto, and that after we die, our souls may be reincarnated, I don’t consider myself a religious fanatic but rather an agnostic open to all possibilities. Still, as much as I don’t believe swearing on Ho-oh’s wings would actually result in my burning should I fail to fulfill my promise (as the story goes), I do like how it adds a certain dramatic flair to vows I actually do intend on at least trying my hardest to keep.

Incidentally, for those who might have wondered about the other Johtonian phrase I’m rather fond of, “blazes” is similar. It’s short for “oh Ho-oh’s blazes” or simply “Ho-oh’s blazes,” which is either an expression of shock or exasperation, depending on context. That one, I admit, is more of a force of habit—not only for myself but many Johtonians as well. The phrase originally began as a sort of prayer, invocation of Ho-oh’s protection (by asking for its sacred flames, rather than Ho-oh itself), plea for purification (by asking Ho-oh and its sacred flames to show you mercy for your sins), or some combination of all three, and it disseminated into our regional vernacular over time, to the point where even the nonreligious say it. There is even a popular rumor that says you can tell whether or not someone was from certain parts of Johto if you surprise them, and they say this. (The truth: No.)

There is also “Ho-oh burn you” or “Lugia take you,” which are both expressions of anger that you say to sworn enemies, but I avoid using either. For one thing, I find such intense negativity towards another living being rather counterproductive, not to mention counter to my own personal beliefs. For another, it’s a bit of a taboo to ask either legendary to do anything serious on your behalf, even if it is simply an expression.

In case you’re wondering, there are no expressions for the legendary beasts, as they’re often seen as messengers of Ho-oh and thus don’t offer blessings or curses themselves. Celebi, on the other hand, gets “Celebi’s blessings,” which is said on holidays as a greeting … or after one sneezes. The latter has to do with the highly outdated belief that your soul escapes when you sneeze, so asking for Celebi’s blessings is meant to stop time and allow you to catch your soul so you don’t die.

why do the people of johto not ask ho-oh for blessings? is it a trickster?

Actually, it was more like our ancestors let three pokémon die in the blaze that engulfed the temple dedicated to Lugia, and then said ancestors reacted very badly to their resurrection via Ho-oh, despite their extreme despair over the death of these pokémon. So Ho-oh decided that the following generations don’t deserve its presence until humankind is capable of living in harmony with pokémon in general again, and it left the beasts behind to watch our progress.

In other words, we don’t ask Ho-oh for things because the last time we did that, we angered it so badly it flew away and hasn’t been seen in Johto since (except supposedly for one unusual circumstance, but quite honestly, I’m not entirely sure if the kimono girls were being literal there).

Of course, we still honor it with festivals, but that’s mostly a gesture of helplessly throwing offerings at it with the hope that this would placate it. Granted, it’s been four hundred years since Ho-oh was in Johto, but there’s always the hope that this year

Hey Bill, Diabetic Gardevoir Anon again. My and my Girl are going to be taking a day trip to Goldenrod City. There anything you can tell me about dining and Leisure activities we can both enjoy? I figure it’d be a nice treat for her good behaviour regarding the new routine for her diabetes. Also, thanks for the reccomendation. Erika was very helpful to the both of us.

Stay away from southwestern Goldenrod.

This isn’t a recommendation because it’s not particularly diabetic-friendly there. Or, well, the street food isn’t because it’s usually fried, coated in sugar, or both, but the restaurants often serve lighter, low-carb fare, and there are plenty of things to do and see on foot around the city. No, I’m mostly telling you to avoid southwestern Goldenrod because it’s generally not a pleasant place for tourists.

Bill … didn’t you grow up in southwestern Goldenrod? —LH

Yes and exactly. —Bill

In all seriousness, anonymous, Goldenrod prides itself in being not only the commercial capital of Johto but also possibly the capital for tourism and culture. (Ecruteak is the capital of historical culture, but if you want a taste of modern-day Johto, go to Goldenrod.) As such, there’s quite a list of places that one can visit, but it really depends on your preferences. Below the read more, you’ll find a quick guide to some of the top destinations in the city, separated into four categories: Training (for the usual stops a trainer typically makes), Tourism (top tourism destinations), Shopping, and Food.

Yes. Quick. Goldenrod is that large of a city.

Training

  • If you’re a trainer, chances are, you’re here for Goldenrod Gym. You’ll find it in the northwest corner of the city, and even if you’re not in Goldenrod for a badge, visitors are welcome to watch gym matches or spar against gym trainers. Be warned, though. Whitney can be quite a character, especially if she loses to you.
  • If you’re a coordinator, Goldenrod is also the home of Johto’s Grand Festival. You can find the Goldenrod Contest Hall in the northwest corner, right against Goldenrod Bay. Even if you don’t participate in contests yourself or watch them from the stands (the latter of which is free if you have a trainer’s ID), you can at least enjoy the stunning views of Goldenrod Bay and most of Goldenrod City’s skyline.
  • The Global Terminal, a place where you can access the GTS and trade with pokémon trainers and collectors around the world (or simply meet other enthusiasts such as yourself) is also located in that corner of the city, incidentally.
  • Although technically just outside of the city limits, the Pokéathlon Dome is a place where pokémon can compete in athletic events.
  • Also technically outside of the city limits, to the south, you’ll find the world-renowned Johto Day Care Center, a place where you can visit pokémon or, if you’re interested, add new ones to your team.
  • Finally (and admittedly a bit further away than the above two destinations), there’s the Johto National Park, which holds frequent bug-catching tournaments when it’s not used as a place where trainers meet and battle. Alternatively, Ilex Forest is to the south, although this isn’t considered part of the Goldenrod metro area.

Tourism

  • While you can’t enter the recording studios (unless you’re a special guest, anyway), the Goldenrod Radio Tower is a popular tourist destination nonetheless. There, you can listen to radio programs in the lobby or catch a glimpse of a celebrity or two, such as DJ Mary or Professor Oak.
  • Long ago, Goldenrod City was once almost the imperial capital of Japan, and you can still find remnants of that era by telling off a local in a Saffron accent. For an experience that won’t start a fight, however, consider Castle Park, a beautiful spot of green in north central Goldenrod that’s home to (a reconstruction of) the castle of Hideyoshi, a prominent warrior-politician and one of the generals who eventually aligned himself with Nobunaga. It’s also not that far from Ubame Temple, one of the oldest temples in Johto and one of the few specifically Buddhist temples left in the region. If you’d still like more of our old culture, there’s also Tsubasa Taisha, which is a shrine dedicated to all three of our major legendaries. All three locations are quite beautiful, but it’s often better to visit the latter two with a local (to avoid disrespecting Johtonian customs).
  • If you’re more interested in something a bit more modern, there’s also the Goldenrod Aquarium, the largest aquarium in Japan. Inside, you’ll find not only a collection of aquatic pokémon but also marine animals in reconstructed marine habitats ranging from tropical coral reefs to the ice-filled Antarctic waters. (It’s also one of my favorite places to visit, just in case anyone’s curious.)
  • As I’ve said, Goldenrod tries to be Johto’s capital of modern-day culture, and as such, it has a whole host of museums, including but not limited to: the Regional Art Museum (dedicated to modern and post-war art), the Goldenrod Museum of Fine Art (for older works), the Museum of Science, and the Museum of History (which, contrary to the name, is actually more focused on the history of Johto, rather than general matters). For a more off-beat museum, you can also try the Museum of Ramen, which also doubles as a great place for lunch.
  • If you’re looking for something a bit more mainstream, Goldenrod is also home to Pokéstar Studios Japan, which is the closest thing to an actual theme park still in the city. Not too long ago, there was also Wonderland, which folded due to its inability to keep up with Pokéstar Studios and Celadon Disneyland. You can still go there if you’re enthusiastic about urban exploration, though, and truth be told, Wonderland is even more impressive now that it’s abandoned. However, keep in mind that some parts of it are dangerous, and trespassing is absolutely a fineable offense in Johto. (Not that I ever paid attention to either of these things when I was young.)
  • Of course, there is also the beaches, which locals don’t really name exactly, but they’re a nice place to go on a sunny day for a bit of relaxation or a pokémon battle. You’ll also find the Skylight Ferris Wheel there, which offers fantastic views of the city. If you’d prefer a more panoramic view of the city, though, go to the Plum Building in central Goldenrod, one of the tallest buildings (or, well, two, as it’s a pair of office buildings connected by a sky bridge) in the city and home to its own observatory.
  • Also, it’s difficult to put together a tourism guide to Goldenrod without mentioning either Central Street or Elenova, both of which are neon-lit shopping districts that are thought to be the crown jewels of Goldenrod according to tourism guides (apparently). They’re … fine, I suppose, if you’re interested in seeing neon advertisements lighting up both sides of the street. Go to Central Street at night, though; it’s far more impressive. Elenova, meanwhile, offers a Johtonian take on Unovan culture, so it’s just as entertaining during the day as it is at night. Which is to say, it’s hilarious.
  • Alternatively, if you’d prefer a bit more culture, Elizabethtown and Little Europe had been one of the few entry points into Japan for European immigrants during the 60s (when mass immigration due to the war occurred). As such, they’ve clung to a lot of European traditions, particularly those of the UK and France. Elizabethtown is also home to Queen’s Crossing, which is a hub for not only British culture (and shopping and dining) but also a minor countercultural movement. You’ll find a lot of street art and performances there, as well as art galleries and cultural centers. (Also, Elizabethtown is where those with that distinctive but stereotypical South Goldenrod accent are from, the famous Haircut Brothers included as well as myself, of course.) 
  • If you’d like to see a show, while our theaters aren’t quite as modern or varied as those in other regions (that is to say, we have no Broadway), we do have plenty of traditional Japanese theaters, including the Yamikarasu Theatre, which is renowned for its traditional kabuki performances.
  • If nothing else, though, there are plenty of themed tours, ranging from bus tours of the city and ferry tours of the shoreline to themed tours if you’re interested in Johtonian culture, food, or “haunted” places. (Note on that last one: Nothing in Goldenrod is famously haunted, yet these tours are still highly popular. I’m honestly not sure why.)

Shopping

  • There is, of course, the Goldenrod Galleria (otherwise known as the Goldenrod Department Store), the foremost shopping destination in Johto and one of the hallmarks of our skyline at that. It’s floor upon floor of practically everything you could ever need, from groceries to fine clothing and goods. (As a note, no, locals don’t trek all the way there for day-to-day shopping, but it’s a nice way to treat oneself and get high-end goods.) It’s also a go-to destination for trainers, as it features multiple floors dedicated to journey supplies, TMs, and more.
  • Alternatively, there’s also the Goldenrod Tunnel (not to be confused with the Goldenrod Underground, our subway and light rail transportation system), a literal underground shopping district that winds its way underneath the western half of the city. Prices here are quite cheaper than in the Galleria, but be warned that some areas are a bit more rundown and flooded with trainers (or pick-pockets). On the positive side, it’s also where you can find the Haircut Brothers’ salon, which in turn is famous for its pokémon haircuts (as well as some of the trendiest haircuts for humans in Japan).
  • As mentioned above, Elenova is one of Goldenrod’s premium shopping districts. So is Central Street, for that matter, but it’s really a question of whether you’re looking for electronics or Japanese goods or if you’re more in the mood for something more American (or stereotypically Unovan). Go to Central Street for the former and Elenova for the latter … and entertainment, honestly.
  • Alternatively, go to Elizabethtown if you’re looking for something a little more unusual.

Food

  • Perhaps the trickiest category if you have food restrictions, I’m afraid. If there’s one thing Goldenrod is famous for when it comes to food, it’s literally deep-frying and/or applying sugar to everything. Maple leaves, for example. (Actually, I would say those are better than they sound, but I’m also from Goldenrod and therefore biased.) Just note that a good portion of our street food is fried, so eat it in moderation if you must have the full Goldenrod experience. If this is the case, you’ll want to visit Central Street for the best of it.
  • Incidentally, Central Street is home to some of our finest restaurants as well, including Hakuryu, which serves the best steak in the city. Of course, be warned that some of the Central Street restaurants can be a bit on the expensive side, and you may need to book ahead (as you do with Hakuryu).
  • Alternatively, for a fresher experience, go to Nuoh Market, Goldenrod’s foremost food market, where many of the chefs around the city come to buy their ingredients. More importantly, though, you’ll find more than one food stall there, including some of the best places for sushi (which is fine in moderation) or barbecue skewers in the region.
  • However, if you’d like something a little less tourist-heavy, go off the main streets and wander a bit. Some of the best establishments for traditional Johtonian cuisine (including, yes, ramen) are found in places you can only really get to by accidentally stumbling upon them while wandering through the city. For example, Aoi, whose soba is famous among locals? Mere blocks from Miracle Cycle, in the labyrinthine southeastern part of the city. Bring a map or a local with you if you plan on wandering the city for food, however.
  • Also, our convenience stores often carry fresh food or quality prepared food, which can be a lifesaver for university students and lost tourists.

In short, there are plenty of things to see and do for both humans and pokémon throughout the city. Just about the only famous location I’d recommend avoiding at all costs is actually the Game Corner, and that’s for two reasons. First, yes, the yakuza actually does own that. (They own quite a bit of southwest Goldenrod, actually, except for Elizabethtown and Little Europe for one reason or another.) Second, it’s especially dangerous if you have a pokémon with you, as there’s a washed up pokémon professor there who will con you out of thousands of pokédollars in exchange for teaching your pokémon moves, when it would be far cheaper and less enabling to just buy TMs for the same moves at the Galleria.

Bill … isn’t that washed up pokémon professor your father? —LH

Yes and exactly. —Bill

Onix and Steelix

bills-pokedex:

Onix
The Rock Snake Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 96
Entry: A giant serpentine pokémon native to the cave systems of Kanto and Johto. As it grows, onix’s stone body hardens until its skin resembles diamond, which protects it as it burrows at high speeds in search of sustenance … all of which is not an extended euphemism, contrary to the opinions of the Sinnohan storage system administrator.

Steelix
The Iron Snake Pokémon
Type: Steel/Ground
Official Registration #: 208
Entry: The evolved form of onix, most easily via trading if the subject has had a metal coat applied to it. As this snake-like pokémon ages, it burrows deeper into the ground, where the pressure of the earth itself and the heat from the planet’s core tempers its steel skin. While tamed steelix may have this coat artificially applied to it before trading, it is possible for steelix to evolve from wild onix. Using this process, steelix initially have a rocky hide but form their coats from the minerals it consumes as it burrows. A sheath begins to form on its face first (as this is the first thing that burrows into the ground) but gradually slides backwards until it coats the entire length of the specimen. Friction compacts and hardens this coat until the aforementioned process of tempering (via pressure from the earth and heat from the planetary core) may occur. And no, this is still not an extended euphemism, Bebe.

Mega Steelix
The Iron Snake Pokémon
Type: Steel/Ground
Official Registration #: 208+
Entry: The advanced form of steelix, via steelixite. As the result of mega evolution, this long, snake-like pokémon gains a considerable amount of power and mass. In fact, during its transformation, it not only grows in length, but its sheath hardens considerably, until excess matter is blown off the base of its head, and the author has decided that he is entirely unable to continue this entry because he can hear his Sinnohan counterpart cackling like a thirteen-year-old from all the way over here.

Any advice for someone converting religions from Johtonian to Unovian

Don’t. 🙂

On a serious note (as I can see that my editor is logging into my account to queue up a few episodes of Binaclebob Trapezoidpants as we speak), unlike Johto, Unova doesn’t actually have a regional religion attached to its legendaries. This is largely due to culture: Johtonians view their legends to be highly powerful kami (god-like spirits), whereas Unovans merely see their legendaries as highly powerful pokémon attached to very human bits of folklore. To most Unovans, worshipping the dragons or the Swords of Justice would be like worshipping pikachu.

There is, of course, an exception in the form of the Kami Trio (that is, Landorus, Thundurus, and Tornadus), which are worshipped by certain groups of native Unovans, and thus, it may be harder to convert to such a religion. Some groups absolutely would not allow you to do so. Others may allow it if you married a member of their culture.

Otherwise, Unova is a melting pot of cultures, so despite what their government may have you believe, there really isn’t any one religion. Some Unovans worship pokémon, others humanoid gods, and some a mix of both. I admit, then, that this would be a rather broad subject to cover, and I might not know enough about each religion to adequately answer. Your best bet would be to find a church or a very patient follower who’s willing to share their way of life with you and work from there.

Of course, you could also be referring to Neopaganism, in which one may adopt figures of power as parts of their pantheons, regardless of whether or not those figures were ever worshipped as gods to begin with, but if that’s the case, I quite literally know nothing about that other than the fact that one can do that, which I admit is just a bit cooler than worshipping a rainbow fire bird. (I say this with the utmost affection, being a worshipper of said fire bird.)

At which point … carry on.

Houndour and Houndoom

bills-pokedex:

Houndour
The Dark Pokémon
Type: Dark/Fire
Official Registration #: 228
Entry: A small, dog-like pokémon native to thick, dark forests. Interestingly, although this pokémon is part of the Johtonian Regional Pokédex, it was first discovered in Kanto and cannot, in truth, be found at all in Johto outside of the Johtonian Safari Zone Nature Preserve. The reason behind this discrepancy is actually quite simple. Houndour hunt in massive packs through the darkness of their native forests, where their pelts can blend in with forest shadows as they corner prey, and Kantonian researchers possess far stronger self-preservation instincts than their Johtonian counterparts.

Houndoom
The Dark Pokémon
Type: Dark/Fire
Official Registration #: 229
Entry: The evolved form of houndour, by battle experience. This dog-like pokémon is capable of exhaling a jet of fire and a spray of incendiary, highly caustic, toxic chemicals at the same time. The effect of these two mechanisms in combination leaves not only second-degree thermal burns (at the minimum) but severe chemical burns as well. According to folklore, anyone unfortunate enough to receive these burns will never fully recover; the burn will essentially be painful forever. However, this is not necessarily true. With proper care, the pain will typically subside within a week, and the resulting scar will fade within a year. On the other hand, not necessarily true isn’t the same thing as entirely false. First, one must remember that centuries ago, back when people first began to think this about houndoom burns, treatments for burns that complex or severe didn’t exist. Second, psychological pain is never a thing that heals easily, and some survivors of houndoom attacks may acquire a fear of houndoom thereafter. Third, either way, being burned by a houndoom feels just about as delightful as being attacked by a swarm of angry magikarp, and based on personal experience alone, the author would not recommend it.

Mega Houndoom
The Dark Pokémon
Type: Dark/Fire
Official Registration #: 229+
Entry: The advanced form of houndoom, via houndoominite. This pokémon is actually a “good fire doggo.” The internet was surprisingly correct about this one, and there’s not much more to say concerning it beyond that.

Scyther and Scizor

bills-pokedex:

Scyther
The Mantis Pokémon
Type: Bug/Flying
Official Registration #: 123
Entry: Contrary to popular belief, scyther are not inherently violent and easily enraged pokémon. They are, in actuality, extremely proud pokémon with a full range of emotions, including compassion. It just so happens that they have scythes for hands and the alien morality of an insectoid species, and these tend to get in the way of what human beings would define as “compassion.”

Scizor
The Pincer Pokémon
Type: Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 212
Entry: The evolved form of scyther, via trading if the subject has had a metal coat applied to it. Upon evolution, scyther’s signature blades metamorphose into scizor’s pincers. One would think that an absence of a cutting edge along with the maturation induced by evolution would render scizor a safer pokémon to handle than its preevolved counterpart, but in actuality, it uses its pincers—now reinforced with a steel-like exoskeleton—to violently hammer anything into the ground, be it an enemy pokémon, a piece of machinery, or an innocently bystanding researcher who in no way provoked said scizor.

Mega Scizor
The Pincer Pokémon
Type: Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 212+
Entry: The advanced form of scizor, via scizorite. Mega scizor is a subject of interest to scientists due to its fantastic levels of instability in combat. To pokémonologists, the fact that it is virtually incapable of holding a mega evolution for extended periods of time without doing damage to itself points to the idea that it may answer the age-old question of why some pokémon can mega evolve while others cannot. To sociologists, the fact that it is virtually incapable of holding a mega evolution for extended periods of time without doing damage to itself points to the idea that it may answer the age-old question of why some trainers are fantastically terrible people who insist on using mega scizor anyway.

Heracross

bills-pokedex:

Heracross
The Single Horn Pokémon
Type: Bug/Fighting
Official Registration #: 214
Entry: A massive, beetle-like pokémon first discovered in the Johto region. Known for its massive horn, heracross are capable of valiantly defending their territories and beloved honey trees by slipping said horn beneath an enemy and flinging them away. However, despite this habit, heracross are normally docile pokémon; it’s only when eating honey—its favored food—that a trainer should beware of being attacked. Interestingly enough, despite its absolute love for honey, it is not a good idea to offer it some in an attempt to establish a rapport with it. Rather, this is an excellent way to guarantee that the heracross you’re attempting to befriend will slam its horn into your stomach, lift you up, and throw you directly into a tree before taking the entire pot of honey for itself.

Mega Heracross
The Single Horn Pokémon
Type: Bug/Fighting
Official Registration #: 214+
Entry: The advanced form of heracross, via heracronite. As it turns out, the above-mentioned strategy for befriending heracross does not benefit from the bonds between trainer and pokémon required to activate mega evolution. Rather, what does benefit from a heracross’s mega evolution is its strength, which means that, should you offer a mega heracross in Johto a pot of honey, it is very likely you will wake up a day later in Kanto.

Bill, I understand your mother used to be a Kimono Girl. Would you know any pokémon good in traditional, slower dance that aren’t part of the Eevee line?

One thing to keep in mind about this question is that there are several types of Johtonian traditional dances that encompass a pretty large spectrum of purposes, traditions, and tones. While one might assume that “slower” would narrow down the field a bit, in truth, what’s more important to traditional dance is the intent, rather than the reputation of the pokémon involved; it’s possible, for example, to teach a scizor, a pokémon known for its speed, a slower dance if that’s necessary.

Just about the only true, consistent rule among all Johtonian dances is that the pokémon involved must have been obtainable among the entertainment and religious classes during our feudal era. That of course doesn’t restrict dancers to just pokémon listed in the Johto Regional Dex; rather, it restricts them to what was actually either native or easily imported at the time. (Eevee had been a common domestic pokémon since recorded history. The going theory is that they arrived here with merchants back when we traded with China, before our isolationist period.) Well, that and the pokémon must fit and dance on a stage in the first place, which means gyarados and members of the onix line are right out, as are some of the less nimble pokémon, such as forretress and meganium. Chikorita and bayleef are still fine, however.

With that lengthy preamble in mind, I’ll just quickly say that practically every pokémon has been used within the entertainment classes—that is, within the Jouto kabuki and Noh theaters. Of the two, Jouto Noh tended (and still tends) to employ more humanoid pokémon such as jynx, as the dance style of Noh theater requires participants to move in very precise, often synchronized fashions. Jouto kabuki, by contrast, is a little less rigid in nature (not saying that Noh is unenjoyable to watch, of course), and as such, there’s more creative freedom when it comes to choreography.

There is, of course, a third general type of dance for entertainment purposes—the Jouto buyo—which differs from the above in that whereas Noh and kabuki use dance to tell a story, the point of Jouto buyo is entertainment derived from the dance itself. (To give you a better idea of what this is, it’s often the form of dance foreigners associate with our form of geisha. Kimono girls, when not participating in ritualistic dance, often perform this as well.) Nonetheless, there is often a point or underlying meaning to each dance, usually associated with nature, and a dancer will often choose a pokémon that closely relates to such a meaning. For example, one of the most famous of these dances, the Sakura Dance, is often performed with bellossom, vileplume, or sunflora, due to their abilities to use Petal Dance and Petal Blizzard to enhance the performance while still keeping up with the dancer herself.

Outside the theater, though, dance takes on an entirely different and perhaps far more intimate meaning to Johtonian culture. You see, a lot of our art is derived from our belief system, and by extent, dance and music is often considered our means of communication with our gods, the spirits, the natural world, or some combination thereof. In other words, most Johtonian dances have meanings to them, and what message you wish to convey to the natural or spiritual worlds will often dictate which pokémon you can incorporate into your routine.

For example, the reason why the kimono girls of Ecruteak City, my mother included, relied on eevee and its evolutions is because those pokémon are closely tied with Ho-oh. It’s said that eevee can evolve into “a different color of the rainbow” (that is, a form that matches Ho-oh’s seven colors), so dances meant to communicate directly to Ho-oh are either done by eevee trainers or performed alongside eevee and its evolutions to evoke Ho-oh’s rainbow—and only by either of these. (There are other rules, of course. For example, men can’t perform the dance because it’s said men angered the gods enough to drive them to destroy Lugia’s roost and chase both birds from Ecruteak City, so if you’re male and you don’t have an eevee … you’ll have to be content with prayers at a shrine.)

The other gods, of course, are less strict about what you can and can’t use. For example, dances meant to honor or pray to Celebi can be performed with any pokémon that can normally be caught in Ilex Forest, although butterfree, beedrill, and golduck tend to be the most popular for their grace. Additionally, Celebi is said to be fond of “baby” pokémon, so some dancers employ pichu, smoochum, or togepi instead. As another example, dances dedicated to the legendary trio are often done with pokémon of matching elements to the specific legendary being honored (water-types such as starmie for Suicune, fire-types such as magmar for Entei, and electric-types such as ampharos for Raikou—with those three being particularly popular), and Lugia is often honored with dances that incorporate flying-type pokémon’s wind-based techniques (with many dancers choosing noctowl or xatu as partners).

Our festivals, too, often involve pokémon dancers that are closely linked to the dance’s purpose. Take our agricultural festivals, for example. (That is, take any one of them. Many Johtonian cities have more than one, with the exception being the coastal cities of Goldenrod, Cianwood, and Olivine, all of which were originally merchant or fishing settlements closely tied to seafaring festivals.) The agricultural festivals were often designed to either pray for rain and fertile grounds or give thanks for bountiful harvest thanks to these two things, so dances often called for either water- or ground-type pokémon—often both. As such, members of the wooper line are often vital to the more agricultural cities of Johto. Some towns also use grass-types, such as and especially bellossom and bellsprout, to encourage healthy crops. Poison-types are absolutely never used (with the exception of bellsprout, of course)—even if they’re partially grass-types—nor are fire-types, as using either is said to curse the crop to either never grow or to grow withered and inedible.

On the other hand, fishing and seafaring dances (as you would see in Cianwood, for example) may employ flying-type pokémon (such as noctowl again) to pray for good winds, water-type pokémon (usually golduck or starmie) for smooth sailing and bountiful seas, or simply normal-types (such as meowth) for luck. It’s taboo in those cases to use ground-, grass-, or rock-type pokémon, as these are thought to instill bad luck on a village’s fleet (because using these pokémon is asking for a ship to be “sent to the earth”—or, in other words, to sink).

With both types of dances, fighting- and psychic-types are often also employed to represent either humans (the fighting-types) or Lugia and Celebi (the psychics). Fairy-types are rarely if ever used because it’s said their fairy magic is volatile and unpredictable and thus could interfere with the meaning of the dance. They are used, however, in winter festivals, festivals to honor children, or festivals that are, in general, meant to celebrate life or bless a village with good luck. (Thus, they’re especially popular during new year festivals. Togepi and clefairy especially so, due to their supposed abilities to grant happiness upon those who see or care for them.)

Otherwise, many of the other festivals employ a vast array of different pokémon. Ice-types such as jynx and sneasel for winter dances (although dark-types are never used during the new year festivals to avoid inviting bad luck or evil spirits to a settlement), electric-types for summer dances, and so on and so forth. Just about the only type that’s universally considered to be taboo to use is the ghost-type, as these are only to be used for funerals and in festivals dedicated to the dead (because dancing with ghost-types traditionally represents dancing with actual spirits). It should be noted, of course, that for us, this isn’t exactly a somber event; rather, honoring our ancestors or the spirits of the dead in general is considered to be a celebration due to our culture’s emphasis on celebrating the good things done in life and the meaning of life itself. Thus, these dances can be a bit more colorful than Westerners may imagine, and the pokémon themselves tend to feel honored to participate.

So in short, it really depends on which dance you’re referring to or what you need to convey through dance. For the most part, pretty much anything that’s small enough to fit on stage and nimble enough to keep up with a dancer is fair game.

The Larvitar Line

bills-pokedex:

Larvitar
The Rock Skin Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 246
Entry: A two-foot-tall, dinosaur-like pokémon native to mountainous regions. Although it’s true that larvitar are born underground and eat soil and rocks until they tunnel to the surface, the idea that they eat entire mountains before evolution is entirely false. It just feels as if they do, as larvitar are, on average, almost 160 pounds, and they have a tendency to leap at their unsuspecting trainers when overwhelmed with the need to shower them with affection via a tackling hug.

Pupitar
The Hard Shell Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 247
Entry: The evolved form of larvitar, by battle experience. During evolution, larvitar encase themselves in a cocoon of rock. This stone shell is as hard and solid as bedrock, so while it fully protects the larvitar inside from any damage, it also constricts its limb movements. However, this doesn’t mean it’s entirely immobile, as pupitar possesses vents all over its body, which allow the highly compressed gases it creates within itself to escape in the form of powerful jets. In fact, these jets can be so powerful that they can propel pupitar wherever it needs to be faster than a number of other pokémon. This is, of course, doubly unfortunate for its trainer, as not only can pupitar launch itself like a rocket in any direction, but it’s also a 335-pound tank of pure destruction … that still enjoys showering its trainers with affection by throwing itself at them.

Tyranitar
The Armor Pokémon
Type: Rock/Dark
Official Registration #: 248
Entry: The evolved form of pupitar, by battle experience. On the positive side, tyranitar do not shower their trainers with affection by throwing themselves at them. On the negative side, tyranitar are highly destructive and aggressive pokémon who possess the ability to flatten miles of forest in seconds and who are constantly on the lookout for new opponents to fight, and tamed tyranitar consider doing both of these things (committing incredible amounts of property damage and fighting literally anything it can find) to be perfectly acceptable methods of showing affection towards their trainers.

Mega Tyranitar
The Armor Pokémon
Type: Rock/Dark
Official Registration #: 248+
Entry: The advanced form of tyranitar, via tyranitarite. On the positive side, achieving mega evolution with a tyranitar is proof that it and its trainer have formed an unbreakable, everlasting bond of friendship between each other. On the negative side, mega tyranitar are significantly faster, bulkier, and more powerful than their un-mega evolved forms, and the point about their generally highly aggressive nature still stands. Best of luck, trainers!