Sunkern and Sunflora

Sunkern
The Seed Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 191
Entry: The official pokédex’s claim that sunkern’s only form of defense is shaking its leaves at its enemy is wildly incorrect. Other forms of defense include dropping out of the sky onto its enemies’ heads and literally the most devastating grass-type attacks in existence. The only reason sunkern will typically begin a battle by shaking its leaves at attackers is to lead us all into a false sense of security.

Sunflora
The Sun Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 192
Entry: The evolved form of sunkern, by exposure to sun stone. Sunflora thrive on the energy they gather from sunlight, and as a result, they are constantly moving in search of the sunniest spots in order to “feed.” At the risk of making a pun, sunflora are not particularly the brightest pokémon in existence, as much of the time, they are far too focused on keeping track of sunlight than they are on where, specifically, they’re going. That is to say, sunflora have an unfortunate habit of running headlong into objects, which makes living close to sunflora fields rather uncomfortable for people not used to the constant sound of a sunflora smacking into the sides of their house. It has, however, been a delight for the Johtonians well-versed in the concept of schadenfreude.

Remoraid and Octillery

Remoraid
The Jet Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 223
Entry: Besides their symbiotic relationship with mantine, remoraid are most known for their ability to shoot strong jets of water that are capable of striking opponents more than 300 feet away. If you happen to be wondering how a 27-pound water-dwelling pokémon can shoot a jet of water that powerful without blasting themselves backwards as a result of basic physics, the answer is … they can’t.

Octillery
The Jet Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 224
Entry: The evolved form of remoraid, by battle experience. Most pokédex entries will go into either its use of ink to blind prey or its ability to use its strong tentacles and suction cups to trap its victims shortly before incapacitating them with its rock-hard head. However, this writer finds it far, far more interesting that this is an octopus that evolves from a fish, and his peers have simply accepted this to be perfectly logical.

The Jigglypuff Line

Igglybuff
The Balloon Pokémon
Type: Normal/Fairy
Official Registration #: 174
Entry: Igglybuff are known for their soft, pliable bodies that have a tendency to bounce continuously if made to roll. At this point, the writer would like to note that the field of pokémonology is both a fascinating and strange place, and the experiments that are implied to have been undertaken in order to find this out about igglybuff should be evidence of that fact.

Jigglypuff
The Balloon Pokémon
Type: Normal/Fairy
Official Registration #: 39
Entry: The evolved form of igglybuff, as a result of a heightened sense of happiness. According to the latest update of the pokédex, a jigglypuff’s vocal cords allow it to adjust the wavelengths of its lullabies to generate the precise tunes that would make their opponents the drowsiest. This theory, of course, conveniently does not take into consideration the possibility of multiple targets. Although that seems like a minor issue for anyone who is not a researcher, this became a bit of a problem during the Hoennian Jigglypuff Population Explosion of 2014, wherein hundreds of trainers relying on the pokédex found themselves waking up in fields a day later with jigglypuff pictograms scrawled across their faces with whatever writing implements they happened to unfortunately be carrying at the time.

Wigglytuff
The Balloon Pokémon
Type: Normal/Fairy
Official Registration #: 40
Entry: The evolved form of jigglypuff, by exposure to moon stone. Wigglytuff is a three-foot-tall rabbit-like pokémon with pink, velvety fur; large, watery eyes; a rubbery body that it inflates when threatened; and a singing voice known for lulling even the most hardcore night owls to sleep. Interestingly enough, this list of traits has made wigglytuff a popular pokémon among at least twelve different subcultures on the internet. Not that this writer would know anything about those kinds of subcultures.

Scyther and Scizor

Scyther
The Mantis Pokémon
Type: Bug/Flying
Official Registration #: 123
Entry: Contrary to popular belief, scyther are not inherently violent and easily enraged pokémon. They are, in actuality, extremely proud pokémon with a full range of emotions, including compassion. It just so happens that they have scythes for hands and the alien morality of an insectoid species, and these tend to get in the way of what human beings would define as “compassion.”

Scizor
The Pincer Pokémon
Type: Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 212
Entry: The evolved form of scyther, via trading if the subject has had a metal coat applied to it. Upon evolution, scyther’s signature blades metamorphose into scizor’s pincers. One would think that an absence of a cutting edge along with the maturation induced by evolution would render scizor a safer pokémon to handle than its preevolved counterpart, but in actuality, it uses its pincers—now reinforced with a steel-like exoskeleton—to violently hammer anything into the ground, be it an enemy pokémon, a piece of machinery, or an innocently bystanding researcher who in no way provoked said scizor.

Pikachu

Pichu
The Tiny Mouse Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 172
Entry: Trainers take caution—although cute and the first stage in a line of formidable battlers, pichu do not have a full mastery over their electrical powers until evolution. This is not to say that they aren’t that strong. On the contrary: they have the ability to generate voltages on par with their evolved forms. What they cannot do is avoid releasing said voltage when startled, happy, or simply standing in an empty room doing absolutely nothing, and suffice to say, this is why many of the reports of electrocution among Johtonians have to do with this very pokémon.

Pikachu
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 25
Entry: The evolved form of pichu, in response to closeness with its trainer. Due to its adorable appearance, its intelligence, and its penchant for doing tricks for treats, pikachu has become an extremely popular choice for a pet. However, should you wish to keep one, never forget that pikachu are still potentially dangerous electric rodents. This is not just a note concerning its ability to generate thousands of volts of electricity, nor is it simply a warning concerning its tendency to release electricity during thunderstorms or upon waking up each morning. It is also a note that this rodent can and will chew through wires if left unattended, and chargers compatible with Leppa-brand laptops run anywhere from ¥3500 to ¥9400 each.

Raichu
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 26
Entry: The evolved form of pikachu, by exposure to thunder stone. A raichu’s tail acts as its grounding wire. When a raichu stores too much electricity in its electrical sacs, it plants its tail and discharges electricity directly into the ground. This is vital to the well-being of an individual raichu, as not only do they gather electricity from their surroundings, but they also grow increasingly aggressive as their electrical stores grow. In that sense, a raichu is much like a drunken relative on Christmas, the sort who gets increasingly offensive the more alcohol he consumes until he needs to be escorted to a safe room to discharge a long and barely intelligible rant. …Not that this writer has seen his father do any of this at any point in his life.

The Zubat Line

Zubat
The Bat Pokémon
Type: Poison/Flying
Official Registration #: 41
Entry: A two-foot-tall eyeless, cave-dwelling bat known for detecting its prey using echolocation and, upon alighting on said prey, latching onto it with inch-long fangs and draining its very life force from its body. Also, given the prevalence of tunnels and caves in every region, at least half of the reason why this writer neither envies trainers nor desires to be one ever again.

Golbat
The Bat Pokémon
Type: Poison/Flying
Official Registration #: 42
Entry: The evolved form of zubat, by battle experience. Travel to deeper caves with larger zubat nests, and you may encounter its evolution, which is little more than a flying mouth full of void and fangs. Those of you who plan on traveling through the Kantonian league circuit should rest assured that golbat only feed on blood until absolutely full, and at that point, they become too lethargic to continue chasing down prey. Also, they are the third most common cave-dwelling pokémon in Kanto, right behind their pre-evolved forms and living boulders.

Crobat
The Bat Pokémon
Type: Poison/Flying
Official Registration #: 169
Entry: The evolved form of golbat, in response to closeness with its trainer. Arguably one of the easier evolutions-by-closeness to achieve, as zubat and golbat, when caught, are typically both astounded and thrilled to find themselves not simply electrocuted or buried under a pile of boulders on a cave floor. As such, despite the fact that it is not exactly famous for it, crobat are notably loyal and protective of their trainers. Which, really, is a good thing, as evolution gives them an extra pair of wings and a growth spurt that enable them to become one of the fastest, stealthiest, and largest flying predators in the pokémon kingdom, and its healthy diet of blood, naturally, never changes.

The Clefairy Line

Cleffa
The Star Shape Pokémon
Type: Fairy
Official Registration #: 173
Entry: Because of its star shape and tendency to appear during meteor showers, it is said that cleffa and its evolved forms originated from either the moon or elsewhere in space. In order to determine if this claim has any grain of truth to it, tests have been proposed by numerous scientists throughout history to determine whether or not cleffa can withstand the extreme conditions of space. However, no test has ever gotten past the proposal stage for two reasons. First, cleffa are listed on the endangered wild pokémon list, making testing with them virtually impossible. Second, shooting a pokémon into the vacuum of space is generally frowned upon by ethics boards.

Clefairy
The Fairy Pokémon
Type: Fairy
Official Registration #: 35
Entry: The evolved form of cleffa, via happiness. Little-known fact about clefairy—they secrete a sticky substance from the backs of their throats that hardens into a crystalline form upon exposure to air. Additionally, their tendency to dance under the light of the full moon is actually an irresistible drive, not simply a behavior some of them enjoy if given an appropriate amount of time and space. Both of these facts make life as a clefairy rather awkward, but on the positive side, their fur is about as soft as velvet, and the ability to hear even the most subtle sounds is a plus. …Not that the writer would know anything about either, of course.

Clefable
The Fairy Pokémon
Type: Fairy
Official Registration #: 36
Entry: The evolved form of clefairy, by exposure to moon stone. Although its pink fur, its rabbit-like ears, and its bouncing gait make it an adorable choice for a pet, this pokémon is not to be underestimated. In truth, clefable possess enough fairy magic to bring down a rampaging hydreigon, and this combined with its extremely acute hearing and its disarmingly soft and cute look make it a vicious predator of dragon-type pokémon. Entire hordes of clefable have been known to take down wandering dragons. Whether this is to feed their expansive clefairy colonies or simply because they enjoy hunting for sport is still a matter of debate.

Girafarig

Girafarig
The Long Neck Pokémon
Type: Normal/Psychic
Official Registration #: 203
Entry: It is said that the bulb at the end of a girafarig’s tail contains its own brain and can function on its own. This is entirely true, and it is highly, highly not recommended to test the validity of this statement, especially by sticking your fingers anywhere near the tail’s “mouth.” Or, for that matter, its hind legs. Actually, come to think of it, when pokémon are concerned, it’s generally a good idea to keep in mind that if it has eyes and teeth and legs, it can and will see you and then proceed to bite you, kick you, or do both at the same time.

Shuckle

Shuckle
The Mold Pokémon
Type: Bug/Rock
Official Registration #: 213
Entry: Shuckle store berries in its shell, where the digestive enzymes excreted by its skin turn these food stores into a thick, syrupy juice. This juice can then be collected and used in a variety of medicines, but if consumed raw, the substance has strongly psychoactive properties and is traditionally used as an aphrodisiac by Johtonians. (As an aside, the writer would also like to state for the record that, no, he does not know this from experience. Even if the administrator of Sinnoh’s storage system insists otherwise.)