Krabby and Kingler

Krabby
The River Crab Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 98
Entry: A small, crab-like pokémon that thrives in clean rivers and on sandy, unpolluted seashores. Krabby is known for two things. First, that it is an aggressive, territorial pokémon that uses its large claws for self-defense, but these claws are also fairly easy to damage and remove at the socket. This aids humans in the second thing krabby is known for, which is sweet and juicy leg meat that goes great in salads, gumbo, or even by itself with just a bit of lemon or butter.

Kingler
The Pincer Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 99
Entry: The evolved form of krabby, by battle experience. As one can gather from its species designation, this giant, crab-like pokémon is best known for its massive pincers, which are capable of delivering fantastically devastating blows. However, as the pincer makes up more than a third of kingler’s body weight, it’s actually rather unwieldy to move, which means it’s fairly easy to flip kingler over and attack its weak point for massive damage.

Bill. It is 2016, not 2006. Honestly. —LH

The Hitmons!

Ah, a challenge, but one I’m certainly willing to oblige!

Tyrogue
The Scuffle Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 236
Entry: This small, childlike pokémon can be a challenge for many new trainers. It requires daily training to maintain its mental health, and if it is denied of its routine training period or if it feels that its trainer is ignoring it for any reason, it will immediately punch its human with as much force as it can muster. On the one hand, they say “no pain, no gain,” and tyrogue trainers tend to be incredibly fit by the time their partners are ready to evolve. On the other hand, they also say “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” and the author did say “tend to be” and not “most certainly are.”

Hitmonlee
The Kicking Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 106
Entry: The evolved form of tyrogue, by battle experience, if the subject is stronger offensively than defensively. Hitmonlee’s legs are quite literally pure muscle; it requires no real bone structure due to the tightly coiled mass of muscle serving as support instead. Because of this, hitmonlee’s legs are notoriously elastic and long, capable of uncoiling and stretching up to double or even triple their resting length. This allows hitmonlee to land devastatingly powerful kicks on distant foes … and to land some of the most lucrative modeling careers in the modeling industry.

Hitmonchan
The Punching Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 107
Entry: The evolved form of tyrogue, by battle experience, if the subject is stronger defensively than offensively. Both of hitmonchan’s fists are hard as rock and extremely dextrous, and because of this, it can punch through solid concrete with both hands, regardless of dominance. Additionally, it’s said that hitmonchan is infused with the spirit of a pro boxer who had been working towards a world championship. Whether or not this is true—and, if it is, which pro boxer—is difficult to say, but it is known that playing “Eye of the Tiger” in the presence of any member of this species will cause them to feel compelled to run up the steps of the nearest art museum.

Hitmontop
The Handstand Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 237
Entry: The evolved form of tyrogue, by battle experience, if the subject is equally strong in both offense and defense. Hitmontop is known for its graceful, dance-like kicks, which it launches by flipping itself upside-down and spinning around on its horn towards its enemy. One would think striking a solid object while spinning upside-down at high speeds on a fine point would only knock the attacker over, but pokémon are wonderful, magical beings, and it’s perhaps not worth it to question the physics of hitmontop when we share this world with thirteen-pound rodents that are capable of releasing 100,000 volts of electricity from their cheeks.

The Horsea Line

Horsea
The Dragon Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 116
Entry: A small seahorse pokémon first discovered in the seas of Kanto. This pokémon hunts by shooting jets of ink at flying insects. Its aim is actually impeccable, and it can strike even the smallest, fastest flying targets. However, its sight leaves something to be desired, as the transition between seawater and open air can blur its vision and make it difficult for horsea to distinguish between shapes. Consequently, at times, it can struggle to tell the difference between flying prey and the face of a completely innocent researcher standing on a nearby pier.

Seadra
The Dragon Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 117
Entry: The evolved form of horsea, by battle experience. Not too long ago, the discovery of a gene within seadra’s genetic code caused a minor uproar within the scientific community. This was because that single gene made seadra’s code differ ever so slightly from horsea, which in turn led to the discovery of the link between seadra and kingdra, a pokémon that had up until that point only been found in the wild. Naturally, this all had become a hot topic, not because scientists had been searching for years to find the aforementioned link but instead because the media did a fantastic job of ignoring the latter half of this concept, which in turn made all of us, the scientists of Johto, seem like complete idiots who didn’t know what evolution was. Thank you, news outlets.

Kingdra
The Dragon Pokémon
Type: Water/Dragon
Official Registration #: 230
Entry: The evolved form of seadra, via trading if the subject has had a dragon scale applied to it. Rare and highly destructive, these seahorse pokémon can use their incredibly potent mastery over the water to generate fantastically strong whirlpools simply by yawning. They are also known to tolerate extreme levels of darkness and water pressure, as they make their homes in the depths of the ocean where no other pokémon can survive. In other words, these pokémon are terrifying, doubly so when their abilities are turned against a human on the orders of the single creature whose rage is far more frightening than even the mightiest kingdra: Clair, the absolutely flawless and majestic dragon master. ~~(Please don’t hurt me.)~~

The Magnemite Line

Magnemite
The Magnet Pokémon
Type: Electric/Steel
Official Registration #: 81
Entry: This small, magnet-like pokémon subsists entirely on electricity, and as such, it thrives best in urban environments, where it moves in groups from one power station to another. Additionally, it moves by using its electromagnetism to repel off the ground, meaning it’s silent as it moves but is very likely to disrupt electronic equipment (such as a computer, a cell phone, or a television set) as it passes. On occasion, it will glide power lines to residential areas for food, so if your electronics glitch shortly before you experience a blackout, it’s advised that you should check your breaker box, as a large congregation of magnemite may have been attracted to your home. Also, it should be noted that magnemite are capable of learning both Thunder Wave and Electroball prior to evolution, so should you find a large congregation of magnemite attached to your breaker box, it is also advised that you consider moving.

Magneton
The Magnet Pokémon
Type: Electric/Steel
Official Registration #: 82
Entry: The evolved form of magnemite, by battle experience. Yes, magneton is technically three magnemite linked together magnetically, combining their abilities to generate more powerful magnetic fields and techniques. Yes, each magnemite is capable of detaching itself and performing complex tasks for its magneton cluster. Yes, this is considered to be a separate pokémon. No, the author cannot explain the Pokémon Symposium’s reasoning either.

Magnezone
The Magnet Area Pokémon
Type: Electric/Steel
Official Registration #: 462
Entry: The evolved form of magneton, by battle experience, if trained in areas rich with the mineral magnetite. There is a popular theory within the scientific community that magnezone is capable of further evolution. However, experiments launched into finding the requirements of such an evolution have so far failed. As for why scientists believe the magnemite line is capable of a third permanent, non-mega evolution, it could be because magnezone’s abilities have been known to be volatile and capable of being boosted further by exposure to powerful magnetic fields. Alternatively, it could be because it evolves from a pokémon consisting of three magnemite stuck together, and even other members of the Symposium have difficulty believing this is an actual, separate pokémon.

Koffing and Weezing

Koffing
The Poison Gas Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 109
Entry: The body of this balloon-like pokémon consists primarily of gas bladders. These bladders are filled with a number of different gases, primarily hydrogen and sulfur dioxide, all of which are used in koffing’s various gas-based techniques. Due to koffing’s high hydrogen content, the pokémon’s body is extremely volatile and very prone to exploding at the slightest disturbance. On the positive side, its high sulfur dioxide content also means one can smell it from a mile away, rendering koffing’s explosive accidents perfectly avoidable … except for those who are audacious enough to train a literal ball of poisonous, explosive gases.

Weezing
The Poison Gas Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 110
Entry: The evolved form of koffing, by battle experience. In areas of high toxic pollution, koffing that feed in close proximity can merge to form systems of weezing. Although the norm is for two koffing to perform this feat, in areas with particularly high concentrations of toxic waste, triplet or even quadruplet weezing may occur. Yet despite this, they are still considered to be rare pokémon in the first region to have given birth to sentient garbage bags.

Cubone and Marowak please!

Strange that I’ve never covered this line. They’re truly fascinating pokémon. As they say, coming right up, anonymous!

Cubone
The Lonely Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 104
Entry: Because young cubone are both weak and the favored prey of many pokémon in its native mountains and cave systems, its marowak mother will almost always sacrifice herself to protect her child early in life. As part of its mourning process, the orphaned cubone, sometimes with the help of the rest of its community, will give its mother a funeral, complete with the ritualistic extraction of her skull and one of her femurs. These bones will then become the cubone’s armor and will serve to protect it throughout its life. Either because of the fact that it always carries around a reminder of its mother or because the experience of losing her early in life has scarred it for life, the cubone will never fully heal from the trauma. In fact, the lines that appear to be cracks along the eye sockets of its skull helmet are not cracks but rather stains left by the tears it constantly sheds. The author really has nothing else to add to this entry; he just wanted to inform his readers that those are tear tracks. You’re welcome.

Marowak
The Bone Keeper Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 105
Entry: The evolved form of cubone, by battle experience. Even after evolution, marowak do not find relief from the traumas they had experienced. Instead, evolution brings about the boost in power and confidence that they need to train harder and master the use of bones as melee weapons. Once mastering their style, they collect more bones to add to their armory. No one is quite certain where marowak gets these bones. Some say they excavate them from marowak graveyards. Others who are well aware of the fact that marowak evolve from cubone who had been forced to bury their mothers simply stare at the first group of people in quiet, unbelieving horror while silently praying that marowak just happen upon the remains of other dead pokémon.

The Geodude Line

Geodude
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 74
Entry: A stony pokémon native to mountainous areas, particularly those of the Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh regions. At rest, geodude look exactly like ordinary boulders, to the point where it’s not uncommon for even the most careful hikers to trip over them. It should be noted that not only will geodude become violently angry if you trip over them or their brethren, but also, geodude are extremely common pokémon to the aforementioned mountainous regions. To any trainers currently journeying through the mountains, the author wishes you godspeed.

Graveler
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 75
Entry: The evolved form of geodude, by battle experience. Wild graveler subsist entirely on rocks. It will consume at least a ton of these on a daily basis, usually while on the move from the peak of its native mountains to the base and back again. Unfortunately, graveler are not particularly careful pokémon, and they, too, have difficulty distinguishing ordinary rocks from the surrounding geodude. On the positive side, graveler are capable of managing geodude populations singlehandedly, so at the very least, geodude overpopulation has never been nor will ever be an issue to the human race.

Golem
The Megaton Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 76
Entry: The evolved form of graveler, via trading. This boulder-like pokémon’s shell is so hard it can withstand high-powered blasts, including the ones it generates itself. For this reason, it prefers traveling in this manner, propelling itself from mountainside to mountainside through the force generated by Explosion. A golem falling from the sky is not an uncommon occurrence in the harsh environment of the Johtonian mountains, so to any trainers currently journeying through that particular region, the author wishes you godspeed especially.

Paras and Parasect

Paras
The Mushroom Pokémon
Type: Bug/Grass
Official Registration #: 46
Entry: The mushrooms that grow on the backs of these small, mite-like pokémon are called tochukaso (not to be confused with caterpillar fungus, which is also known as tochukaso among the people of Johto, Kanto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh). In East Asian medicine—particularly in the Tibetan, Indian, and Chinese traditions—tochukaso that are gathered and dried may be powdered and included in pastes, teas, and other recipes that either cure or alleviate a wide variety of ailments. (This process does not harm the paras, and in fact, the mycelium of their mushroom system is usually left intact, meaning the fruiting bodies may regrow within a few days.) Contrary to popular belief, despite its status as a keystone for traditional medicine, tochukaso is not a psychedelic. It is, however, mildly poisonous when consumed raw and may lead to acute stomach pains, nausea, and vomiting. Also contrary to popular belief, the author does not know this from experience.

Parasect
The Mushroom Pokémon
Type: Bug/Grass
Official Registration #: 47
Entry: The evolved form of paras, by battle experience. Upon evolution, the paras mite’s mind is wholly suppressed by the mushroom growing on its back. If left to its own devices, the mushroom will puppeteer its mite host from one food source to another, typically the sap-rich trees of the Safari Zone or the mineral-rich salt deposits within the cave systems of Johto and Kanto. If tamed, however, the mushroom may be placated with pokémon kibble, but it will likely prefer virtually anything that can rot, from old food to gym socks. Trainers should note, however, that using your pokémon as garbage disposals is not exactly harmful but still not a habit that the author particularly recommends.

Venonat and Venomoth

Venonat
The Insect Pokémon
Type: Bug/Poison
Official Registration #: 48
Entry: A large, mite-like pokémon native to dark forests. Its massive, red eyes function like radar devices and are capable of seeing through the densest fog and the darkest nights to locate the smallest prey. Likewise, its long antennae are capable of registering even the slightest hints of heat and vibration around it. Moreover, its thick, purple hair is coated with a potent venom capable of paralyzing prey on contact, and its fangs are sharp enough to deliver a killing blow and draw out blood instantly. And for the umpteenth time, despite the fact that it’s a purple bug-type with red eyes and long antennae, it is not in any way related to butterfree.

Venomoth
The Poison Moth Pokémon
Type: Bug/Poison
Official Registration #: 49
Entry: The evolved form of venonat, by battle experience. Also a highly aptly named pokémon, as with every flap of its wings, it lets loose a storm of poisonous dust that’s not only potent but also extremely difficult to remove. The color of its wings indicate what type of poison venomoth carries—be it caustic, a neurotoxin, or something else—but from the author’s personal experiences, he feels it’s safe to say that all of its possible colors indicate the fact that standing beneath a venomoth is a horrendous idea.

Grimer and Muk

Grimer
The Sludge Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 88
Entry: Born from polluted rivers, this pokémon’s body consists entirely of highly toxic sludge. It consequently thrives on pollution, and as such, it flocks to polluted waterways, where it has been known to clog up entire sewer systems in its zeal to consume raw waste. Despite all of this, grimer populations are considered to be the most prevalent in Kanto and Hoenn, home to two of the most aggressive green campaigns in the world, despite the fact that other regions historically had difficulties with pollution, are centers of mining and manufacturing, and are currently so polluted that their environment has given birth to sentient garbage bags.

Muk
The Sludge Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 89
Entry: The evolved form of grimer, by battle experience. Like its preevolved form, a muk’s body also consists entirely of a highly toxic sludge. However, due to its increase in mass, power, and age with evolution, muk is able to cultivate highly powerful strains of bacteria and viruses that infest every inch of its skin. Physical contact with this pokémon can kill plants and smaller or weaker animals on contact … which should speak volumes about the resilience of pokémon researchers and their assistants as a whole, considering the fact that certain muk express affection via alarmingly frequent tackling.