Tag: Machoke

Dear LH, My uncle recently got seriously injured and asked me to help on his ranch where he mainly raises Beef Tauros, or so he says. His ranch hands are Machoke, and i’m worried that me being so lanky and thin, that they wont respect me enough to listen to me supervise. any Tips, and is my uncle joking about the Tauros being raised for their beef? Also, my Aunt makes this ice cream out of Custap Berries because of their sweetnes. Do i need to fear health problems from eating such a sweet berry?

I wouldn’t worry too much about it, actually. So long as your uncle makes it clear to his machoke that they’re supposed to listen to you because you’re his relative, you should be fine. If they do show any attitude, be firm and speak with an authoritative voice. Don’t let yourself lose control of your temper, especially thanks to the fact that you’re dealing with fighting-types. With all pokémon, if you’re firm and in control without shouting or showing aggression in any way, they’ll instinctually follow your orders.

When it comes to tauros meat, I have to say that I’m … not actually sure. Tauros meat is a delicacy in many regions, so it’s possible that he’s not joking. Otherwise, the only other reason to keep tauros is to breed them for work or training. You’d be able to tell the difference through whether or not they’re branded. If they’re branded, they’re meat tauros because they won’t be trading owners; if they only have a tag fixed to their horns or ears, then they’re work or training tauros.

As for custap berries, actually, no! Although custap berries are very sweet, they’re still not as high in fructose as added sugars. You still shouldn’t eat a lot of custap ice cream, but that’s true with every food. Keep your diet healthy otherwise and stay active, and you’ll be fine!

The Machop Line

Machop
The Superpower Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 66
Entry: A short, humanoid pokémon native to the mountains of Kanto, Johto, and Hoenn. Although machop is small and slight, do not be deceived: it possesses super strength and trains itself by lifting multiple geodude for hours each day. Moreover, it is a natural at martial arts and is capable of mastering multiple forms shortly after hatching. All of this, of course, is exactly what researchers tell one another to reassure themselves that getting beaten into a broken pulp by a pokémon the size and stature of a toddler is perfectly explainable by science and has absolutely nothing to do with the researcher’s own physical prowess.

Machoke
The Superpower Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 67
Entry: The evolved form of machop, by battle experience. Machoke are, in general, highly proud of their muscles, which are toned to the point where each one possesses the hardness of steel. The average machoke enjoys showing off these muscles and the strength associated with them, and as such, machoke are happiest when performing any job that requires manual labor around humans or other pokémon. Given that this is a well-toned, humanoid creature that may be captured and tamed by humans for the express purpose of lifting things, it should be worth it to note that its desire to show off is completely innocent and has nothing to do with whatever the Sinnohan administrator may be thinking. Furthermore, it is worth it to remind her that pokémon-human relations are generally frowned upon in most cultures for a reason.

Machamp
The Superpower Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 68
Entry: The evolved form of machoke, via trading. A master of every form of martial arts in existence, machamp possesses four arms that are capable of firing over 1000 punches in two seconds, lift passenger jets with ease, and throw an adult man over the horizon. According to the Sinnohan administrator, machamp is also “pretty bara for a pokémon.” The author is not entirely sure what this means, but given the other things the Sinnohan storage system administrator has said about pokémon lately, he is inclined to say no, it is not.