Hey bill I’m an exclusive water type trainer and my boyfriends parents came to me about getting a starter for their daughter. Considering they live in sootopolis, Hoenn they figured a water type would be best. While I agree, I’m Not quite sure which of my Pokémon to breed for her. I have a starmie, Dewgong, dragonair, azumarill, Lapras, and milotic. What do you think?

I can tell you right now that lapras, feebas, and seel may be a bit difficult. While Hoenn is indeed a heavily aquatic region, much of the gym circuit takes you inland—up a volcano, no less. Even if your boyfriend’s sister plans on keeping her starter in its poké ball for much of her journey, the dryness of Mt. Chimney, Lavaridge, and the Hoennian desert may make it difficult for training pokémon not well-adapted to land.

Of the remaining three, dratini may be the most difficult to train. It doesn’t learn powerful moves right off the bat, and it’s slower to raise and evolve than the other two, even considering the fact that one of them can only evolve via exposure to a water stone. However, it is the most powerful option in the long-run, so it really comes down to how much patience your boyfriend’s sister is willing to exercise.

Meanwhile, staryu and marill (or azurill, depending on whether or not you plan on giving your azumarill sea incense before breeding it) are both perfectly fine choices. Both are fully capable of traveling on land, both are equally easy to raise, and both learn moves rather quickly (compared to dratini). Staryu may be a little more challenging to bond with because it’s not as expressive as marill, nor is it quite as affectionate, but on the other hand, marill’s secondary fairy typing instills in it a natural mischievousness that may be a challenge to a trainer who’s not quite expecting it. Additionally, marill may be easier to raise (and certainly easier to evolve), in part due to its ability to bond with its trainer and in part because its defensive capabilities make it more difficult to defeat, but on the other hand, staryu and starmie learn a wider variety of moves and have generally better offensive capabilities.

In the end, I would recommend either a marill or staryu, as those two may be the easiest for your boyfriend’s sister to train. Between the two of them, you would have to ask yourself if she would prefer a more defensive, more affectionate pokémon or a mysterious pokémon that’s a bit faster and can hit harder by default.

Of course, as always, be sure to ask the new trainer what she would like as well. She may even be willing to train a dratini if she has her heart set on something a bit more mystical.

But … try to steer her away from the idea of raising a seel, feebas, or lapras in the heart of the Hoennian mainland. Just … just trust me on that.

The Marill Line

Azurill
The Polka Dot Pokémon
Type: Normal/Fairy
Official Registration #: 298
Entry: This small, mouse-like pokémon is actually best known for its ability to bounce about on its rubbery, nutrient-filled tail. However, it’s actually considered to be scientifically interesting because the phenomenon in which some female azurill evolve into male marill. There are a few theories as to why this is, including the idea that azurill’s gender shifts in response to environmental changes in combination with the boost in energy caused by evolution. Of course, a more practical theory is that male and female azurill are nearly indistinguishable from one another and that many male azurill are mistakenly classified as female due to inadequate gendering methods for the species. A study could be launched to see if the latter is the case—and, if it is, to rectify the situation—but frankly put, it’s either correcting a system of classification the azurill themselves have no concept of or finding a cure to azurill tail cancer.

Marill
The Aqua Mouse Pokémon
Type: Water/Fairy
Official Registration #: 183
Entry: The evolved form of azurill, as a result of a heightened sense of happiness. Marill possess a water-repellant tail and coat of fur, which in conjunction with each other, make it impossible for marill to drown. In the wild, this allows marill to forage for food even in the swiftest of currents without having to worry about being dragged under, but in captivity, some trainers see it as an opportunity. Tamed marill are frequently used by novice trainers to ferry themselves across the water using Surf, Whirlpool, Waterfall, or all three moves in combination. However, it’s worth it to note that the author has just specified novice trainers, as experienced trainers have quickly learned that a foot-tall mouse with aqua-repellant fur may be able to keep themselves from drowning, but keeping a five-foot-tall, 100+-pound human from doing the same is an entirely different story.

Azumarill
The Aqua Rabbit Pokémon
Type: Water/Fairy
Official Registration #: 184
Entry: The evolved form of marill, by battle experience. This rabbit-like pokémon is known for its long ears and bubble pattern. The bubble pattern gives it camouflage in the water, and its long ears are excellent sensors that allow it to detect even the most minute prey. Using both in combination allow it to glide through the water undetected until it comes across and pounces on its next meal. One may wonder why azumarill, a pokémon that strongly resembles an exclusively herbivorous animal, has the carnivorous tendency of hunting for and pouncing on food, to which the author responds with, “Azumarill are native to Johto. Have you ever seen the aquatic plants of Johto? I thought not. They’re vicious, chief. They will eat your arm right off if you’re not careful around them.”

Is it unusual that my zangoose and seviper are being friends despite what pokedex says?

Not at all, actually! While it’s true that wild zangoose and seviper are blood enemies, once tamed and given proper homes (with properly established feeding routines), you can actually eliminate any need for either of them to fight. It’s much like how most people believe that growlithe, meowth, and marill are all mortal enemies, but in actuality, all three lines can get along just fine if introduced to a loving home … and, well, taught not to attack each other.

It’s wonderful to hear that your pokémon are getting along splendidly, though, anonymous, so may their relationship thrive for years to come!