Bunnelby and Diggersby

Bunnelby
The Digging Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 659
Entry: Because of bunnelby’s cute appearance and prevalence in the grassy fields throughout Kalos, Kalosean artists and cartoonists have used this rabbit-like pokémon as a basis for cartoon characters for decades. Most notable of these characters is Barnaby Bunnelby, cultural icon and star of Silly Symphonies cartoons since the 1940s. Since the rise of Barnaby’s popularity, bunnelby has become one of the most sought-after pets for children in western regions such as Kalos and Unova. While this is certainly good news for bunnelby (who were previously often only kept to be raised as food), the bad news is that the Barnaby Bunnelby cartoons have also introduced the misconception that bunnelby enjoy eating carrots, based on Barnaby’s own habit. Unfortunately, real bunnelby do not eat carrots at all … and, in fact, the sugar content of said carrots have been the leading contributor to tooth decay in tame bunnelby since, well, the 1940s.

Diggersby
The Digging Pokémon
Type: Normal/Ground
Official Registration #: 660
Entry: The evolved form of bunnelby, by battle experience. Although small (just over three feet in height and only 94 pounds at that), diggersby is capable of heavy-duty work, including lifting loads of up to one ton and pounding through thick bedrock with its ears. They also adopt a less-active lifestyle and have a tendency to do heavy work (such as, for example, lifting one’s car and throwing it) in quick bursts before settling down for rest. This, of course, also comes as a surprise for children who might have adopted a bunnelby thanks to Barnaby Bunnelby cartoons.

The Whismur Line

Whismur
The Whisper Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 293
Entry: A small, rabbit-like pokémon first discovered in the cave systems of Hoenn. It prefers quiet, difficult-to-reach places, as it is notoriously timid and easy-to-startle. While normally a soft-spoken pokémon, it is fully capable of releasing cries at ear-splitting volumes, and it does in fact do just that whenever startled or scared. Unfortunately, because it’s often unused to its voice, it can also startle itself or those around it, thus building up not only the volume but also the number of whismur cries in a given area. Yet very likely, despite the fact that the resulting sounds can likely destroy sensitive equipment as well as the human eardrum, a cave full of whismur is still objectively more desirable to listen to than a toddler on an airplane.

Loudred
The Big Voice Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 294
Entry: The evolved form of whismur, by battle experience. As tempting as it may be, it is actually a terrible idea to use this pokémon as an alarm clock. While, yes, a loudred shout could wake you up from the deepest of slumbers, that is just one end of the spectrum. The other end of the spectrum involves permanent hearing loss and structural damage, and few loudred understand how to discern which end of the spectrum is appropriate to use when.

Exploud
The Loud Noise Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 295
Entry: The evolved form of loudred, by battle experience. A shout from a single exploud is loud enough to be heard up to six miles away and destructive enough to shatter every single window of a house it’s occupying at any given moment. Simultaneous shouts from a full team of six exploud, however, is a transcendent experience.

Type: Null and Silvally

Type: Null
The Synthetic Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 772
Entry: According to files from Aether Foundation, this synthetic pokémon was created specifically to counter the power of the Ultra Beasts. It was forged from the DNA of several other species of pokémon, each of which was chosen for their incredible strength. However, because its creators feared that its power would render it difficult to control, it was forced to wear a restraint mask that greatly limited its true potential. Because no one in the history of this world has ever created the world’s most powerful pokémon and then forced it to wear power limiters, and this has never turned out to be a horrendous idea.

Silvally
The Synthetic Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 773
Entry: The evolved form of type: null, as a result of strengthened bonds with its trainer. It is, quite literally, a type: null that has managed to break off its limiting mask. The author is not quite sure what else to tell his readers there.

Turtonator and Drampa

Turtonator
The Blast Turtle Pokémon
Type: Fire/Dragon
Official Registration #: 776
Entry: A mata-mata-like pokémon native to the mountains of volcanic, tropical regions. Everything about this pokémon is explosive. Its shell is liable to explode violently on impact; it breathes volatile, highly flammable gases; its internal organs can be extracted and used as alternative fuel; and even its dung can be used as a substitute for TNT. This, of course, explains thoroughly why it lives in the hottest areas of volcanic regions, as close to sources of heat as possible. Given the hazards in trekking to this pokémon’s natural habitats to obtain one and the hazards in training one at all, if your opponent sends a turtonator out to battle you, it may be wise to forfeit. There is, of course, no true danger in facing a turtonator that’s been adequately trained (because, as noted elsewhere on this blog, pokémon can often control their deadlier abilities); it’s just that when seeing a pokémon this dangerous to obtain and train in the first place, you may wish to ask yourself if it’s really worth it to face a trainer who is apparently extremely deficient in self-preservation instincts.

Drampa
The Placid Pokémon
Type: Normal/Dragon
Official Registration #: 780
Entry: A Zhulong-like pokémon native to snowy mountaintops. An extremely friendly dragon, it comes down from its isolated habitat at the peak of a mountain to interact with humans, especially human children. However, it should also be noted that angering a drampa is unwise, as it also possesses the ability to level skyscrapers with its intense draconic breath. Naturally, it’s the favored subject of many children’s program, in part because of its cartoonish design and friendliness towards children and in part because showing a cartoonish, friendly dragon leveling cities is apparently fantastic entertainment to both Alolan and Unovan children.

Komala

Komala
The Drowsing Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 775
Entry: A small, koala-like pokémon native to tropical regions. This pokémon is in a perpetual state of total slumber. It’s born asleep, clinging to a log given to it by its sleepwalking parents, and everything it does from that point until the moment it dies is really the effects of komala’s tossing and turning in its sleep. Given that this also includes mating, battling, and controlling its fine motor skills, this may just make komala the most talented pokémon in existence, a creature worthy of even an abra’s envy.

Yungoos and Gumshoos

Yungoos
The Loitering Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 734
Entry: A notorious example of introduced species, this mongoose-like pokémon is a carnivore native to Asiatic and African regions, not to a Pacific region such as Alola. However, in the mid- to late-19th century, yungoos were introduced to the Alolan Islands by berry farmers wishing to control the local rattata populations. This, of course, is mildly amusing (that is to say, horrible) for two reasons. First, rattata—including and especially the dark-type Alolan variation—are nocturnal, whereas yungoos are primarily diurnal, meaning the two rarely to never cross paths, and due to the relative newness of the field of behavioral pokémonology, this was not discovered until after mass amounts of yungoos were released into the Alolan wild. Second, rattata was an introduced species itself, meaning human beings are, in general, fantastically terrible at the whole concept of preserving the environment.

Gumshoos
The Stakeout Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 735
Entry: The evolved form of yungoos, by battle experience. Due to its incredibly patient nature, combined with its incredible hunting abilities, gumshoos had been introduced to the Alolan environment shortly after it was determined that its preevolution had failed to control the local rattata and raticate populations. However, while it is indeed true that gumshoos’ favored prey are rattata and raticate, this mongoose-like pokémon’s signature patience and dedication to hunting said rattata and raticate were still not enough to overcome the problem that is the fact that the entire yungoos line consists of diurnal pokémon attempting to hunt strictly nocturnal prey.

(You could even say that gumshoos failed to make Alola great again, but the author has been told by his editor that he is under strict orders not to make such a joke.)

Teddiursa and Ursaring

Teddiursa
The Little Bear Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 216
Entry: This small, teddy bear-like pokémon is known for hoarding its favored food, honey, for the winter months. It is also known for soaking its paws in its stores in the process, then licking its palms every so often to keep itself sustained as it works. Due to the fact that the properties of both teddiursa fur and saliva are as unique to each individual as fingerprints are to each human being, the exact taste of each sample of teddiursa honey varies from subject to subject. Incidentally, yes, this statement does in fact imply that there is a field of pokémon research dedicated to licking teddiursa paws (or at least collecting and sampling their honey), to which the author responds, “Well, somebody has to do it.”

Ursaring
The Hibernator Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 217
Entry: The evolved form of teddiursa, by battle experience. The species identifier for this pokémon refers to the fact that it hibernates for about half the year—or roughly 152 to 213 days, depending on the individual and whether or not that particular winter is mild or cold. For the rest of the year, ursaring are highly active, breeding, foraging, hunting, and mauling intruders to their territory with an incredible amount of energy.

Aipom and Ambipom

Aipom
The Long Tail Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 190
Entry: A small, monkey-like pokémon first discovered in the Johto region. This mischievous pokémon lives primarily in the uppermost branches of the trees in its native forests. It’s a deft acrobat, capable of swinging itself from tree to tree without ever coming down, even at a young age. This skill is helped in part by the tip of its prehensile tail, which possesses a strong and highly dextrous hand. Of course, actually having hands would be a little more useful, but considering the fact that aipom has managed to survive this long without them, who is the author to say what would work best for this species?

Ambipom
The Long Tail Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 424
Entry: The evolved form of aipom, by battle experience, if the subject knows Double Hit. Just like its preevolved form, ambipom thrives primarily in the treetops. There, not only is its locomotion aided by its twin tails, but so is every other aspect of its life, from picking and shucking fruit to communicating with fellow ambipom. By this stage of life, it rarely does anything at all with its hands … which is understandable, considering the fact that it still doesn’t have any, Sinnoh.

Sinnoh Legendaries, Part V

Regigigas
The Colossal Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 486
Entry: According to legend, Regigigas was the master and creator of the legendaries Regice, Regirock, and Registeel. It created these golems out of mountains of ice, rocks and clay, and magma, respectively, then—using their help and sturdy rope—towed entire continents across the surface of the planet to their present-day locations. If this sounds at all incredible to you, just keep in mind that Regigigas’s special, passive ability forces it to start slowly and gradually work its way towards being productive … much like how many of us are not at all morning people.

The Slakoth Line

Slakoth
The Slacker Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 287
Entry: A sloth-like pokémon first discovered in the Hoennian jungles. This pokémon spends most of its day lying listlessly on the jungle floor or draped across tree branches. The hours it does not do this, it spends sleeping or reaching lazily for food. Even those who have observed it (for science, of course) have often reported a sudden, strong urge to do as the slakoth does by lying listlessly about the forest floor. For this reason, it was originally thought that slakoth could be part-psychic, but upon deeper studying, it was discovered that, no, a certain portion of the Pokémon Symposium just wishes they could be as lazy and carefree as slakoth.

Vigoroth
The Wild Monkey Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 288
Entry: The evolved form of slakoth, by battle experience. Researchers aren’t quite sure why vigoroth, the middle evolution of the pokémon embodiments of sloth, is unable to keep still. Some think it has to do with the species’ increase in heart rate, but this still doesn’t explain why the change occurred. Others believe vigoroth’s body naturally produces caffeine, but not only is this not true, but it also doesn’t make sense from a scientific standpoint. Still others believe that when you spend twenty hours of your day dozing and the other four hours actually sleeping, it just stands to reason that you’ll be particularly energetic upon waking up (to the point of being downright irritable and potentially violent if anyone attempts to get you to stay still). The author’s closest colleagues would like to go on record to state they know someone with heavily strange sleep cycles consisting of a day of solid sleep, followed by three days of barely any at all, during which he “works himself into the ground” and “vehemently objects to any attempt to get him to sleep,” so therefore, they consider this to be a valid theory. The author, meanwhile, would also like to go on record to state first of all…

Slaking
The Lazy Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 289
Entry: The evolved form of vigoroth, by battle experience. Supposedly the laziest pokémon in existence, slaking barely moves at all and spends much of its lifetime asleep, much like its preevolved form, slakoth. However, it does move, specifically to shift itself into a new spot whenever food is no longer within reach. While this is pretty lazy, it’s been recently outclassed by Alola’s pyukumuku, which doesn’t move at all, even when its reachable food sources have been depleted, unless physically picked up by a human and thrown back out to sea. When slaking have been studied side-by-side with pyukumuku, it was found that slaking rapidly develop extreme envy towards pyukumuku and would, if they didn’t weigh 288 pounds, adopt very similar behaviors.