Why does my sylveon think the moment I leave my bed it belongs to him, and then look at me like I’m inconveniencing him when I come back

Because you are merely an invited guest to the kingdom that is your sylveon’s domain, and you did not pay proper tribute to his majesty.

In all seriousness, anonymous, your sylveon is likely trying to sleep in a comfortable spot and dislikes being disturbed.

is it okay to let my bisharp drink tea or coffee with me, or other human-like pokemon for that matter? he’s just so civil that sometimes i forget he’s a pokemon at all!

Only if he wants tea or coffee, anonymous. Some bisharp prefer hot cocoa, and we should not judge them.

… so I got my Ditto as a 5 year old and named it accordingly, Jello. Well Jello is insanely Uncomfortable when I eat The gelatinous treat, Jell-O. When I do, Jello slithers around me and gives me side eyes and glares. I’ve tried explaining that Jell-O isn’t refrigerated Dittos but my sweet Jello still doesn’t like it. What do I do… besides not eat jell-o anymore

I’ll give you two answers here, anonymous: the one my editor would want me to give and the one my editor would actually want me to give.

The one my editor would want me to give: Look Jello dead in the eye as you consume a cup of gelatin. Establish dominance.

The one my editor would actually want me to give: Allow Jello to inspect a cup for itself. You can do this by simply showing it a cup or by allowing it to taste a little. (Gelatin isn’t poisonous to ditto, for the record.) You may even wish to purchase a box of Jell-O mix and make a batch yourself, so Jello can better understand what it is you’re actually eating.

If all else fails, may I suggest switching to fruit snacks instead?

What does a completely black pikachu mean? I just hatched one and his eye color is blue; it’s so pretty. I hope this means good luck, I really want to keep him on my team.

It either means your pikachu is melanistic or due for a very strange, somewhat violent life. Not that the latter is a bad thing, of course. Or it isn’t a bad thing if you’re an aspiring pokémon master who also happens to be an anarchist with supernatural abilities.

That … sounds oddly specific. —LH

Yeah, I’m not quite sure where that came from either. —Bill

What purpose does the feather-like growth atop gulpin’s head serve?

That organ contains glands that produce pheromones integral to a gulpin’s mating rituals.

(Believe it or not, I’m not being facetious.)

Bill , it’s probably the best that you be the one else to give lillie ‘the talk’: because her biological mother is a certifiable lunatic. She and her older brother deserve the best adults to look up to.

Well, then, that rules me right out.

What really happens if you do successfully capture a legendary Pokémon? Somehow I got my hands on a Lugia from a trade yesterday. Also, should I even keep it in the first place? Please help!!

Well, seeing as we’re all still alive, it’s very likely it likes you. This would be a very, very different story if it didn’t.

Nonetheless, regarding your second question … please put the god of the sea back in the Whirl Islands where the other trainer found it. Just because it likes you doesn’t mean it gets to shirk its duty of ensuring that typhoons don’t destroy us all.

Thank you.

My Houndoom is having problems with… Well, farts. That’s very problematic since the smog doesn’t only make my house smelling bad, it is toxic! What can I do to avoid this problem?

Switch to a different brand of kibble. Sometimes, kibble brands can be a bit of a lottery with pokémon. Some types of kibble have absolutely no ill effects on the pokémon that eat them; others … result in the exact problem you’re describing. You may wish to offer your houndoom a bit of wet food now and then too.

Why is my umbreon drinking blood?

Why would you feed your umbreon blood in the first place?

Where are you even getting enough blood to sustain it?

It couldn’t be from a pokémart. I’m almost certain that’s a health code violation in most major regions, but I could be wrong.

Hi Bill! Do you answer EVERY ask that you get or will even YOU get stumped sometimes?

Well, answering and being stumped are two different things, anonymous. It’s true I don’t answer every ask: some asks cover questions I’ve already answered or are perhaps accidental duplications.

However, yes, there are some questions I can’t answer because I don’t entirely know what the question is going on about. For example, I don’t know how some of you obtained the information you did on Mewtwo, and I admit I don’t fully understand when some of you talk about “levels.” The latter is especially intriguing and disconcerting. Hopefully those of you who ask don’t actually think of pokémon battling as a video game!