Tag: odd questions

A kid was making fun of my son for being blind, so his Alakazam used his psychic powers to make the bully soil himself. I’m laughing too hard to tell him off.

Legally, as a storage system administrator, the Pokémon Association bars me from condoning pokémon-on-human violence, but on the other hand, I also don’t particularly care for bullies, especially the ableist sort. So on the record, I feel I should tell you that I didn’t hear this.

Off the record, however, please tell your son’s alakazam to keep up the excellent work.

Alright so some noob trainer came to the Alola region and caught all of our island guardians. That’s cool and everything, I respect his bravery and strength but jesus christ there’s ultra beasts invading the region and no one can do anything so I’m hoping he sees this and I want to tell him to put them god damn back before we all die

There are Ultra Beasts in Alola right now?!

I’m contacting your older sister to get her to confiscate your passport, just so you know. —LH

unova college anon here. my friend sent me a picture of a large green bird dismembering something (or someone) near driftveil. what the fuck is that bird and is it truly a threat to the average unovian

That sounds like a pidove to me, anonymous.

They’re generally harmless except during mating season.

Bill. —LH

Edit: Oh, all right.

Anonymous, I admit I’m not entirely certain what you were seeing and can’t be completely certain unless I see a picture of it myself. However, I can tell you that there are a number of things it may be, including legendary pokémon. Generally speaking, however, pokémon are harmless unless you pose a threat to them or wander into their territories—the latter especially if you do so during mating season. For the average Unovan, the native bird populations are actually quite harmless.

What would you be like if you were a video game boss? #AMA to Bill and Lanette. And the Mun if they would like to answer as well.

BILL
I must admit I don’t play video games that have bosses all that often. If I play video games at all—which I must also admit is rarely—it’s often creative or simulator games like Cavecraft. So I don’t entirely know what kinds of video game bosses there are besides the sort that just fire projectiles at you or something of the sort. Granted, Cavecraft has a dragon, but you don’t have to fight it at all, so I don’t think it would count.

LH
A queen. You know those bosses that always have legions of mobs surrounding them? That would be me. I would also be the MMO-style boss who enjoys inflicting unique status effects and uses one-hit kills. I would, in other words, be a final boss.

{THE MUN
The cracky one in a random dungeon in the middle of your quest. You know the one. The one you have to defeat by using the power of interpretive dance to make me surrender? That one.}

#AMA Bill, Lanette (or any other devs who want to answer). What would your plan of action be if you found yourself abducted by an alien spacecraft? Happy holidays!

Happy holidays to you as well, anonymous!

BILL
Make friends with them, naturally. Imagine what we can learn from such a highly advanced race! We’d have knowledge of technology and worlds beyond our own star! So many opportunities to understand the very nature of our universe would open up instantly!

LH
Steal a piece of their technology, sabotage their transporter to transport me only, and beam myself back to Earth. Also naturally.

BEBE
Yeah, pretty much the same.

CASSIUS
That would be all of us, yeah. Except Bill.

AMANITA
I’d take a fuzzy alien pet if they have one and I knew it was benign, but then I’d run away to Earth.

BRIGETTE
Basically, what we’re all saying is that Bill’s the only one with weak enough self-preservation instincts to stay on board.

ALL, EXCEPT BILL
Basically.

bill no. dont touch the tentacled abomination of nature. go touch buzzwoles abs instead HOW IS IT SO RIPPED

That is legitimately a good question. I’m tempted to say the reason why it’s so well-toned is the same reason why machamp are, but machamp train in naturally rugged environments. We know so little about the Ultra Beasts’ home dimension that I can’t rightly say that buzzwole’s physique can be credited entirely to it without knowing for certain what that terrain is like.

Hmm. Maybe I should create a portal to the other dimension, just to see.

Bill, there is a really good reason why this is a bad idea. Her name is Lusamine, and her very nice and somehow not traumatized daughter is staying in your laboratory-slash-cottage right now. —LH

Woah there Bill. It’s best not to go messing around with Nihilego. Their toxins don’t just cause odd behavior, they turn your wants and desires up to eleven, usually making you evil as a bonus. Under the influence of these toxins, you might create a PC system for people! You could become the leader of an evil team and force the other PC mods to help you take over the world! YOU COULD TURN YOURSELF INTO A CLEFABLE!!! These are all bad ideas. Listen to Lanette. Don’t mess with the ultra beasts.

Okay, but what if I found a way to turn myself into a clefable and back without any further assistance? Now that would be an interesting idea.

No, it wouldn’t. —LH