Tag: odd questions

#AMA for both of you. Pancakes or waffles? (The mun may answer too, whoever that may be…)

BILL
That depends. Are we referring to lactose-free pancakes and/or waffles? Because if not, then both would make me rather ill, but if we are referring to lactose-free variations, then I really have no preference. And no, colleagues, it has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t eat breakfast to begin with.

LH
Waffles. There’s something satisfying about using a waffle iron … and then topping your creation with an abundance of whipped cream and chocolate syrup.

Again, why do you like dessert for breakfast so much? —Bill

Because unlike some people, I understand that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so you might as well make it thoroughly enjoyable. —LH

{MUN
Pancakes! :D}

#AMA Bill and Lanette, if you were in the Hunger Games (a fight to the death on live television, with 24 participants), what would be your strategy and how long do you think you would last?

BILL
Fight to the death?! I’d rather not, reader, but thank you.

LH
I would locate and gather as many poisonous berries as I can find, then put them in the containers given to me by sponsors and leave them all over the arena. I would use any remaining berries to taint any available food supply I can find, and I would strike up alliances, then claim the berries are perfectly edible and offer them as gifts for my new allies. If anyone is still standing after all of that, I would run them ragged through the arena and then force berries down their throats when they’re at their weakest.

Why are you so quick to answer this question? —Bill

Follow up question about the sexy custom since I feel like some rewording is needed now. Have you ever brought a sexy pokemon custom on purpose? Or has anyone that you know bought one for you? And if so what custom was it? #AMA

No, of course not.

Edit: My editor has reminded me that for this month, I’m obligated to answer these sorts of questions honestly, so for that reason, allow me to give you the full answer:

It was a “sexy magikarp” costume. I was young, stupid, and under the impression that it would be the best way to get Bebe to stop inviting me to her Halloween parties.

It didn’t work.

I did not follow your advice to not google Goodra, and now I feel nothing but horror as to what the internet does. What’s a good way to forget I ever saw any of that? Is there a pokemon move that can help me forget?

I’m sorry, anonymous, but there is no escape. Even if you used a psychic-type to erase your memories, the goodra fanart will still be there. Waiting.

At the very least, you didn’t Google gardevoir, delphox, or palkia … I should hope.

A few months back, my city had a Drowzee infestation. The local government couldn’t keep up and encouraged people to catch them and release them away from the city. I… sorta didn’t do the second thing. Long story short, I now have five Hypno and I’m not really sure what to do with them. I think I’m going to teach them instruments and start a band, but I don’t know what to call it. Any ideas?

Why do people keep asking you to name things when it’s been well-established that you’re terrible at that? —LH

Excuse you, but “Sea Cottage” is a perfectly acceptable name for a cottage by the sea! —Bill

That depends, @the-firebrand. Is this a metal band or a boyband?

Not that it would matter much, of course, as I’d like to propose that you call them the Hypno. Maybe misspell it somehow—that worked for pop bands in the 60s, anyway.

Who would win: a trillion Pyroar or the sun?

Below is the actual video call between the author and editor regarding this ask, as transcribed and posted by the editor’s sister, Brigette Hamilton.

BILL
This is a rather silly question.

LH
Indeed it is. I don’t think it’s worth our attention.

BILL
I agree. After all, there are so many variables involved here.

LH
That’s not why—

BILL
I mean, I admit I don’t know the mass of a trillion pyroar off the top of my head, but I’d imagine it’s not nearly enough to take out the sun by default.

LH
Honestly, Bill, there are far more important things to worry about than—

BILL
On the other hand, pyroar are fire-types and therefore have a resistance to the element, and perhaps a trillion pyroar can form a miniature star-like object that collapses into an equally miniature black hole. That might compensate for the insufficient mass of a group of pyroar otherwise.

LH
Bill, that doesn’t—

BILL
Come to think of it, hold on. Let’s think about this for a second. How much does each pyroar weigh? Should we just assume they’re all perfectly average weight? Also, would the nuclear fusion take place on the planet or off? We’ll need to add in the mass of each pyroar’s breathing apparatus if that’s the case. Now that I think about it, we should probably assume the fusion takes place off-planet, perhaps in the corona at the very closest. We can’t have the pyroar die before the battle begins; otherwise, the whole point is moot. What configuration are the pyroar in as they fly towards the sun? Is it a cube of pyroar, a sphere, or an amorphous cloud?

LH
Why are you like this?

Wait, Brigette posted this? Just how many people did you give my login credentials to, Lanette? —Bill

All of us. —Bebe

hey bill whats up? —Molayne

Hey, Bill. A bit of an odd question but its something I was wondering about. You know how every Halloween there are those weird why is there a sexy custom of this? I was wondering if you ever accidentally bought one when trying to dress up as a Pokemon to get into their head and didn’t realize until it was too late? #AMA

Goodness no! All of my costumes for research are handmade. Accuracy is essential to my methods. Even the texture of simulated chitin needs to be exact, as otherwise, it wouldn’t be very effective.

Besides, the fishnet stockings for many of those costumes are ill-fitting and ride up in a most uncomfortable fashion.

And you would know this because…? —LH

…science? —Bill

Hey Bill, I’m starting to suspect that my Flygon may be kidnapping people out of jealousy, as she gets quite protective over me when other people/pokemon are around, and my new friends have recently went missing after I introduced her to them. Is there anyway to verify/stop this?

That’s … an unusual situation for a flygon, especially one that’s been well-trained (as I assume yours has). The important thing is that accusing your flygon or being stern with her will not yield any answers. What you’ll need to do is check her usual hiding places. Keep an eye on her if you let her out and try to follow her if she strays from your yard. In addition (not alternatively), ask her nicely and offer her treats if she’s seen your friends. It might even be a good idea to invest in a psychic-type to ensure she’s telling the truth (or to find your friends if she isn’t).

In the meantime, regardless of whether or not your flygon is involved, it may be a good idea to approach the issue that is her overprotective behavior. It may even encourage your flygon to show you where your friends are if she was involved in their disappearances. It’s important to reassure her that you’re not replacing her by maintaining the same level of affection and attention as you usually do. However, it may be prudent to get more pokémon anyway to help her socialize and get used to the idea that you can be “shared,” as it were. As you do this, remember to maintain the amount of love you give your flygon to avoid making her feel like you’ve replaced her with new team members. You may even want to be present as she socializes with her teammates at first. Once she gets used to the idea of sharing you with others and of being around other beings, then you can introduce her to people, but start with public areas with many people, rather than one-on-one interactions with personal friends. If she can get used to seeing you surrounded by other humans, then she’ll find it easier to get used to you forming bonds with some of them. At that point, she may open up and help you find the friends you’ve already made.

Of course, it’s also important to report your friends as missing and to communicate as much as possible either way, as if your flygon is responsible, then it will be some time before she opens up and tells you where they are … and by then, well, law enforcement may be involved. The more you communicate, the more you can make it clear that you didn’t kidnap them.

Best of luck, anonymous!

Completely, totally innocent question because I am curious. Are pokemon affected by alcohol in any way. This is for science.

Yes. For some smaller pokémon, alcohol is literal poison, so I would not recommend giving them any. It’s also completely lethal to fire- and electric-types, as it interacts badly with their internal fire and electric sacs.

Meanwhile, alcohol has similar affects on larger and more humanoid pokémon as it does on humans, but I wouldn’t recommend this either, as a drunk pokémon’s abilities may have adverse affects on the human body.

In other words, please don’t get your pokémon drunk, anonymous.