Wingull and Pelipper

Wingull
The Seagull Pokémon
Type: Water/Flying
Official Registration #: 278
Entry: A large, seagull-like pokémon native to coastal regions. Among researchers who do not make their homes in coastal areas, this pokémon is known for its elegant, gliding flight patterns. It nests in high cliffs along the sea, and from these spots, it leaps over the ocean waves and rides updrafts high into the air. As such, it is sometimes known as the “kite of the ocean.” However, to those who have ever lived on cities on the coast (such as the author), this pokémon is known for snatching valuables and french fries from the hands of humans as well as defecating strategically on beachgoers, and as such, it’s known as “flying rat” and other colorful phrases and names the author cannot repeat in mixed company.

Pelipper
The Water Bird Pokémon
Type: Water/Flying
Official Registration #: 279
Entry: The evolved form of wingull, by battle experience. Known for its unique beak, this pelican-like pokémon is sometimes used as a messenger. In the old days, this was done by placing items, letters, and small pokémon in its beak, telling it where to go, and letting it fly. However, in modern times, it’s given a small mail pouch instead. The reason why is because wild pelipper feed by scooping food into its beak, carrying it off until it reaches a cliff, and tilting its head back to swallow, so thanks to instinct, a tamed pelipper’s delivery route tended to end the moment it reached a seaside cliff … of which there are many in its native region of Hoenn.

thank you for the help with my pelipper! in this era of electronics i haven’t been using much physical mail, but now i can make time for it because i don’t even have to be near the post office. i even got him a cute little satchel and he LOVES it. and now my family and friends will be happy to receive their (totally dry) holiday cards too.

You’re very welcome, @basilbones. It’s my pleasure to help, and it’s certainly good to hear you’ve found a compromise! May your pelipper enjoy delivering those holiday cards just as much as your family and friends enjoy receiving them.

my pelipper recently discovered the trend of mail-carrier pelippers, and now he’s utterly smitten with the idea. i don’t want to break his heart, but he’s been a valued member of my battling team for years, and i’m not ready to retire him in favor of a full time job. how do i let him down gently? also he keeps swallowing my mail.

Well, I was going to suggest that he “delivers” your outgoing mail to the nearest post office and your incoming mail from the mailbox to you, but that last part makes that solution rather inappropriate.

Unless, of course, you can train your pelipper to not swallow mail. Perhaps introduce to him the idea that real mail-carriers always deliver their mail undigested to discourage him from eating your letters and packages, then proceed with the above mentioned compromise. This should satisfy pelipper’s need to deliver mail while at the same time keeping him on your team and restricting the amount of time he spends “on the job.”

If, however, he insists on becoming a mail-carrier pelipper, begin by emphasizing that he’s a valued member of your team and that you respect him and his wishes as much as you can. Then follow through by telling him politely that becoming a mail-carrier would mean giving up his adventures with you and that you would prefer not to part with him. He may still wish to become a mail-carrier after this, but at the very least, you can be open with him about your stance on the matter. By being that open, you’ll invite a conversation in which he (as best as he can, considering the fact that he’s a pelipper) and you discuss his options and try to find a suitable compromise.

Best of luck, @basilbones. May you find a balance that will make the both of you happy.

Or, at the very least, may you find a balance that doesn’t result in your mail getting partially digested.